"There she is," whispered a small bush named Scootaloo. "I knew she'd go to Sugarcube Corner!"
"Well, yeah," Sweetie Belle said behind her, "she said she came back to Ponyville to fetch something, remember? It would probably be here or at the castle."
She wasn't being loud, but she also wasn't bothering to act like part of the bush. Still, she stayed out of Pinkie Pie's sight, which Scootaloo supposed would have to be good enough. Her friends didn't have to play along as long as they didn't blow their cover.
"Come on, Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo said, giving her friend a stern look, "you still believe that? She lied to us about the train schedules, and she couldn't have just arrived from Canterlot. Who knows what else she was lying about?"
"I guess you're right," Sweetie Belle admitted, "but why does that mean we have to hide in the bushes?"
"You two aren't even in here," Scootaloo pointed out, sparing a glance for Apple Bloom, who still sat in the scooter cart looking lost in thought. "And I'm hiding in the bushes because we have to figure out what's going on, duh."
"It's probably just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie."
"Has Pinkie Pie ever lied to us before? Like, besides saying her cutie mark story was how Equestria was made."
"I… uhm…" Sweetie Belle seemed at a loss for words.
Scootaloo turned back to her target. "And if she's here to fetch something, why is she sitting outside Sugarcube Corner?" Pinkie Pie was still sitting alone in a spot off to the side from the entrance, with her back to the bakery's wall. Everything about her looked stiff, but she was always moving in little ways. A twitching hoof here, a shift in position there, as though sitting still was the last thing she wanted to do. That was typical of Pinkie Pie, but there was no trace of her characteristic smile on her face.
"If mares can be in love with mares," Apple Bloom said suddenly, perking up from her deep thoughts, "does that mean… Lyra and Bon Bon…?"
Sweetie Belle seemed thankful for the excuse to talk about something else. "Oh yes, definitely Lyra and Bon Bon," she said knowingly. Scootaloo wasn't as sure about what was going on between those two mares, but she also didn't care. She rolled her eyes, letting her friends go on about gay ponies while she returned to watching Pinkie Pie from her vantage point in the bush.
Soon, the door to Sugarcube Corner opened, letting out a gray-coated unicorn she was sure she had never seen before, followed by a large bag of pastries being levitated in his orange magic. Scootaloo didn't think much of him – she knew she would never recognize everypony in Ponyville like Pinkie Pie did – until he trotted over to the pink pony and put the bag down between them. How many strangers had she met on that train?
"Thank you," Pinkie Pie said glumly, taking a pair of chocolate donuts from the bag and hoofing one to the stallion. He looked at it as though unsure what to do with it, while Pinkie picked up the rest of the bag and stuck it inside her mane.
Scootaloo stared. How did she do that? The bag was several times bigger than her head!
Pinkie took a bite of her donut, then looked at the stallion, who was still staring at his own. She gave him a small, slanted smile that only looked a little forced. "You do know what to do with that, don't you?"
"We, um, don't really eat," the stallion said in a low enough voice that Scootaloo could barely make it out. She rubbed her ear with a hoof, thinking she hadn't heard that right, but he continued, "I mean, we can, but it usually doesn't taste like much."
Still, he took a bite, and his face lit up. "Woah... This tastes like love." Somehow, he still managed to sound sullen.
"Of course it does, it's chocolate!" Pinkie Pie said, suddenly beaming. Her smile faded as quickly as it had appeared, though, leaving only an uncomfortable silence.
Well, apart from the voices of Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle behind Scootaloo. They were still chatting, but it seemed they were being quiet enough about it to not rouse Pinkie Pie's suspicions, probably blending in with the ambient noises of Ponyville if Pinkie Pie could hear them at all. She tuned them out again as the stallion broke the silence.
"Do you… want to talk about what happened back there? At town hall?"
Even as stiff as Pinkie Pie had already been, she still managed to tense further. She stayed silent for a long while before answering shakily, "I… s-something terrible happened there once, Clypeus."
That was a very strange name. Scootaloo tried it out on her tongue, whispering to avoid drawing attention. "Clypeus…?"
Clypeus said nothing, but gave Pinkie Pie a look that Scootaloo took to mean "go on".
"Remember what I said about Princess Twilight?" Pinkie Pie asked. Since when did she use Twilight's title? "It was me. Well, other mes."
"What?" Clypeus and Scootaloo said at the same time. Ear twitching, Clypeus turned his head towards the bush, but then he shook it and looked back at Pinkie Pie.
"I'm n-not a normal pony, Clyppy."
Scootaloo was more surprised by the nickname than the confession. It had always been clear that Pinkie Pie was anything but normal.
"I'm not even Party Popper. I'm… Pinkie Pie m-made me. I'm a clone."
Scootaloo fell backwards out of the bush, getting a look from Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. "This is big," she told them, then got up and crawled back in as quickly as she could without making too much noise.
"–way too much sense…" she heard Clypeus say in a low voice. On either side of her, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom crawled into the bush.
"W-when Twilight f-found out Pinkie had made a lot of us," the clone of Pinkie Pie continued, "she r-rounded up all the clones she could find in the t-town hall s-so she could… c-could–"
Clypeus awkwardly put a hoof on her back as she broke down sobbing. "It's… it's okay? Um. No wonder you didn't want to stop here."
"Ah remember that," Apple Bloom whispered, "them Pinkie clones ruined our barn."
"And Rarity's shop," Sweetie Belle squeaked.
"And Rainbow Dash's nap!" Scootaloo said. When Apple Bloom looked at her with a raised eyebrow, she added, "What? Naps are important if you want to be as cool as Rainbow Dash."
"Look at her, though," Sweetie Belle said. "She can't be all bad, can she?"
"Ah s'pose the other clones might'a been like her family," Apple Bloom said.
"And then Twilight… and Rainbow Dash…" Scootaloo covered her mouth with her hooves.
Clypeus looked in the direction of the Ponyville clock tower. "Look, Popper, the hour is almost up. How about we go meet up with the rest of the squad so we can get out of this town?" He would have sounded almost jovial if he hadn't sounded so sad. "If you still want to come with us to the hive."
"What other place is there any point in me going?" the clone – Party Popper? – asked. "I might as well go with you all and not be alone on the way."
Clypeus actually smiled at that. Then he looked around, as though making sure nopony could see them.
It happened in a flash of green fire. One moment, Clypeus was a gray unicorn stallion. The next, he was one of the foals they had met with Pinkie Pie earlier. The three Crusaders shared shocked glances inside the bush. In that moment, Scootaloo was sure they all knew what this meant.
A leftover clone of Pinkie Pie was traveling with a group of changelings, and they could never tell their sisters or Princess Twilight Sparkle.
When the changeling, the clone and the fillies were all finally out of sight, the bush caught fire. Green fire. An instant later, an earth pony stood in its place, her coat a vibrant contrast to the dark green leaves she had been covered with a moment before.
The pony adjusted her mane with a shiver. The fillies climbing into her had been unexpected and not very comfortable, but when you were spying, you had to endure whatever happened. Blowing your cover just because something was uncomfortable wouldn't do.
She pulled her hoof out of the hole that had, moments ago, held her roots, and began heading towards her cottage, where she would find the privacy to cast a communication spell.
Valvula had just learned something interesting, and the Queen would want to know.