"There's nothing unnatural about it," Starlight mumbled, sitting on the couch between Maple and Felicity. "Gazelle was just trying to do exactly what I would have. And I froze him and stunned him by beating him against the ground. All I could do was imagine someone doing that to me if I was trying to save someone, and it hurt too much to deal with."
"It reminds me of when we met Selma on our first night in Ironridge," Maple added. "I don't remember it too well after everything that happened later, but didn't he do something similar?"
Felicity nodded slowly. "And what else?"
"What do you mean, what else?" Starlight frowned. "I crushed him. He didn't stand a chance, but he didn't even fight back, either. He just looked at me like I was betraying him!"
"It was very upsetting for you both, I could tell," Felicity answered.
"So why is it unnatural?" Starlight pressed. "Should I not be feeling bad about this? I don't even remember why I stopped him! Valey wanted to, and I was helping her, or... something..."
Felicity fervently shook her head. "Absolutely not, darling. I was... Oh, how do I put this...?"
Starlight watched and waited.
"I see why you're upset." Felicity took a breath. "You have every right to be. I just... The suddenness and intensity, especially right after Valey asked me to look over you..." She fidgeted. "You're aware of how my brand works, yes? Down to the details?"
Starlight hesitated warily. "It alters our emotions?"
"Alters their intensity," Felicity corrected. "Stronger, weaker, to everyone in a radius around me including myself. It doesn't change them, doesn't add new ones or subtract anything existing, so all of your emotions still come from you, even though they're being... influenced. By me. Does that make sense?"
Starlight nodded. "Where are you going with this?"
Felicity sighed. "Valey wants me to ensure there's nothing magical or abnormal influencing your emotions, so to speak. And it's very hard for me to explain this in a way that doesn't suggest I think whatever you're feeling isn't real or doesn't count, because it's certainly real to you and I understand your train of thought perfectly, but... if there was something having a malefic effect on you, you can understand that you're in a bad situation and we can't take risks and need to do whatever we can, right? I am not telling you there's something incorrect about what you're feeling."
"I don't really care," Starlight replied, head drooped. "I already know Gazelle did something magical to me the last two times we talked. If you can help me, please help. I feel tired."
Felicity took that as permission, putting a hoof on the back of Starlight's head and another at the base of her neck and her two wingtips along her spine. For a moment, she closed her eyes. Then: "Do you mind if I try something?"
"No."
Somewhere inside Starlight, it felt like a string was reattached, and a little more strength returned to her limbs. "What did you do?" she asked, her ears lifting halfway. "That didn't feel bad."
"The Mistvale art equivalent of giving you a pat on the back," Felicity replied, letting her go. "You might not need me to tell you this, but you've been through an ordeal and are very drained, darling. Like you're feeling less because your mind is tired of all the feeling it's just been doing."
"I believe it." Starlight slumped into a cushion. "What do I do?"
Felicity motioned toward Maple. "First and foremost, give yourself a rest, darling. Stay with your loved ones, or someone you trust. Listen to a story, drink something sweet, sleep if you're tired. You badly need some time to recuperate, and we'll look out for you while you do it. Won't we?"
Maple nodded firmly. "We might not be the strongest ponies, but that's never been your problem, right? You know I'd never do anything to hurt your feelings. You'll be safe here."
"Thanks," Starlight said, looking back at Felicity. "So can you tell what Gazelle did?"
"...Hmm," Felicity hummed. "Well... you could think of yourself as burnt-out right now, yes? This isn't abnormal to have happen after your mind has been too active. In fact, there was a sizable portion of my life where this would happen to me, when I used my brand too hard on myself to... you know... overindulge and ignore my troubles. So I'm familiar with how you feel."
"But?" Starlight didn't budge.
Felicity nodded. "For me, at least, I'd have some... leftover garbage, so to speak, in my mind from whatever I was trying to distract myself with after I pushed myself too hard and crashed. Your head is a lot emptier. And from what you've said about how Gazelle made you feel, both times, I strongly suspect he has some manner of draining you of your emotions."
"Draining me of my emotions." Starlight glanced down. "It didn't feel very good. But both times, it helped, especially the first one." She sighed. "What's wrong with me? This is twice in two days I've completely lost control of myself."
"Perhaps it helped," Felicity agreed, "but it's absolutely not a good or healthy solution, especially since we don't know anything about how that works. I haven't heard anything about sphinxes being able to drain emotions before."
Starlight slumped into the couch. "I just wish he didn't drain everything. I don't feel like doing anything right now. I don't even feel as bothered by this as I know I should be. I hate things that try to change how I feel..."
"Has that happened both times?" Felicity asked, rubbing her back encouragingly.
"No. Well, maybe." Starlight frowned. "It might have. But after the first time I had a talk with Valey, and started feeling a little bit better."
"Maybe she can help you again?" Maple suggested. "Actually, where is Valey? If you were talking with Gazelle at the hospital and she went there to drop him off, she should have been back before you..."
"Getting up to nightly things with the students, no doubt." Felicity shook her head. "Regardless. Maybe you could tell me more about your first panic attack? If they have a common cause, we could possibly do something about them. Help you recognize when they're going to happen and prepare yourself better for them, if this is a new facet of life."
Starlight looked away. "I don't think they did. The first one happened because I saw something that scared me in the archives. I didn't hurt anyone, or do anything wrong, or anything."
"Can you be any more specific?" Felicity gently prodded.
Starlight wasn't even sure how much she cared about keeping the Eylista meteor a secret. "I learned that maybe I have something to do with the moon glass meteor, and I panicked and ran away. I don't even know why I did it myself..."
Maple pursed her lips. "You were feeling bad or unhappy about yourself both times, then."
Starlight looked up. "Well, yes."
"Actually..." Felicity tapped a wing. "Just to make sure I know all the details, you teleported out of the archives, yes?"
Starlight blinked. "Yes. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Bear with me, darling," Felicity requested. "Now, you weren't nearly this bad, but I also remember you feeling particularly down after the incident where the brood beasts stopped swimming and one was executed with lightning. Weren't you?"
"Why?" Starlight frowned. "Of course I was. I tried to make them move, and it got one of them killed! I shouldn't have interfered."
"You tried to make them move," Felicity confirmed, "by smashing them with a giant crystal boulder."
Starlight squinted.
"Maybe this is an erroneous hunch," Felicity went on, "and I really don't know whether to hope I'm right or wrong, but Valey did ask me to look into anything unusual that could be adversely affecting you, darling. And it's an admittedly strange pattern, but you don't exactly use your magic for little things on a day-to-day basis, do you?"
Starlight's eyes slowly widened at Felicity's implication. "I also used my crystal to shield myself from a fall after I teleported away the first time. And I teleported to go find Gazelle. And I've been using it more since we reached this island! Are you saying...?"
"That ever since we made it here, the reason her magic isn't hurting her body is because it's hurting her mind instead?" Maple finished her thought, looking disturbed.
"I hadn't even tried framing it that way," Felicity murmured, looking bothered herself. "All I saw was the correlation. Darling, do you...?"
"Why?" Starlight whispered, looking at her hooves. "Why does this happen to me? Do you mean all of what I've been feeling is just-"
"Absolutely not," Felicity interrupted forcefully. "Don't even finish that sentence, darling. There is nothing wrong with your thoughts and you are perfectly justified in being afraid of the things you're afraid of. I said they made sense, did I not? If this really is the case, what's far more likely is that something manifests as a strain on your mind that just makes it harder to process the problems that you encounter naturally. It's just like how you're more vulnerable to catching a cold when you're low on sleep, you know?"
Starlight continued to stare. "So what do I do?"
"Try using your horn," Felicity gently advised. "Not too strenuously. I'll be watching and measuring. If we're going to suspect this, we might as well know for sure."
Starlight frowned and lit her horn, lifting one side of the nearest sofa. It was hard to concentrate, though. She felt worn-down, and what if Felicity was right? Wouldn't she just be digging herself deeper? And if so, this could be the last she used her horn for a very long time...
"That's enough," Felicity murmured. "You can tell it didn't fill you with confidence, did it?"
"No..." Starlight blinked. "But I had other things to worry about."
"Yes, I'm sure you did," Felicity agreed. "But they suddenly seemed just slightly more pressing, didn't they?"
Starlight winced, not wanting to be forever unable to use her horn. "But they were things I would have had on my mind otherwise!"
Felicity gently nodded. "So was your treatment of Gazelle, and your reaction to your revelation. They're your thoughts and your fears, Starlight. That's why I was so insistent earlier that if something was in your head, like Valey asked me to check, it absolutely did not mean there was anything wrong with you having your fears themselves. That said... I suppose it's obvious what to do about this."
"Stop using my horn." Starlight swallowed. "Even more than I used to. I don't want to lose my magic. I need it to protect you..."
"I don't think so," Maple interrupted, having sat in thought for a while.
"Hmm?" Felicity looked to her, interested.
"I don't know why this would be," Maple continued. "And if this really is true, it would be good to find out. But I have wondered why this island has been so good for Valey and Felicity and Gerardo and even me, too, if I can be honest, but not for you. Now, if Felicity's right, and your magic somehow strains your mind instead of your body, now... maybe it still works like it used to, and you can use it while being better or push yourself while being worse. You're at the end of your rope right now, right? Enough that you're almost passing out and having panic attacks. Maybe this is like when you're close to passing out from a headache or dizziness. So maybe you could keep living like we used to and using your magic carefully... You'd just have to recharge for a while first, and then watch how you're feeling a lot more closely than just headaches."
Starlight blinked, a slow spark of hope rising in her chest. If that was true, then maybe the reason she hadn't felt as bad after the brood beast died was because she had been running herself down over time, whenever she used magic... The spells she had let herself use certainly were more powerful than normal, now that she didn't give herself headaches with them. Maybe this was true, but what if she could live with it without never using her horn again?
Felicity chuckled, a hoof still against her. "There you go, darling. It'll be alright, see?"
...She still felt tired and drained, though, and now wondered if it wasn't just due to Gazelle. "Maybe it will. But can we go to bed? I still don't feel so good..."
"Yes, let's." Maple got carefully to her hooves. "I think I'm going to need to start exercising soon, now that my ribs are getting better. Anyway. Felicity?"
"I think I'll stay up for a bit, darling," Felicity replied. "See if I can't fill Valey in whenever she returns. Have a good night!"
"I hope we do," Maple agreed, leading Starlight into the dorm room.
It was nearly an hour later when Valey returned, the moon entering the end of its arc across the sky. Felicity was snoozing lightly, alone in her blankets on a couch by a fire.
"Hey, girl," Valey greeted tiredly. "You still up?"
Felicity blinked herself awake. "You're back? Darling, what time is it...?"
"About four in the morning." Valey shrugged. "Sleeping out here tonight?"
"Waiting for you," Felicity replied. "There's some... news about Starlight. More like a very likely hunch, but first, where were you?"
"Starlight?" Valey blinked. "Uhh... I was getting midnight tacos with our buddies the Equestrian guards. Turns out, they're almost as spooked about the possible repercussions of arresting an imperial prince as we are of getting on their bad side while here illegally. Stories were swapped, we hung out and I think all of us are in more stable positions as a result. What's up here?"
Felicity took a breath. "There's a nonzero chance that since we crossed the mountains, the reason she hasn't been getting headaches from her magic anymore is that it's somehow straining her mind instead of her body. Reduced emotional capacity to deal with hardships, less she can shoulder before she snaps... She took it better than she could have."
Valey blinked. "Bananas, that stinks."
"Better than not knowing," Felicity replied. "And, of course, I couldn't even begin to tell you why that is."
Valey pursed her lips. "Three things I'd be most suspicious of are something involving that fight with the Nightmare Modules and Crystal, her new cutie mark, or us being south of the mountains."
"Her new brand?" Felicity blinked. "You think that thing..."
"It's an artifice," Valey said, showing off her butt. "Like mine. I've done a bit of struggling to be able to live with mine and who it makes me, but the truth is always gonna be that it's a weapon and by extension I'm a weapon and Luna designed that on purpose. And that's not the least shady thing that's ever happened. So considering we don't even know exactly what her mark does yet? Starlight's got her own will, she can use it for whatever she wants, but if suspicious things are going on, I would not count it out as a culprit whatsoever."
Felicity frowned. "Hmm."
"Think we can work on that in the morning, though?" Valey nosed up to her. "We can sleep in as late as we want tomorrow, but those campers are gonna be back late in the evening. Might as well enjoy the peace and quiet, huh?"
"You're enjoying yourself entirely too much." Felicity shook her head with a smile. "Much as I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, you do realize Shinespark likely won't be pleased with your... free-spiritedness, don't you?"
"Yeah, let me worry about that." Valey hoisted Felicity, blankets and all, onto her back. "Did the stuff with Lavender and the professor get sorted out, by the way?"
"After you left with Gazelle?" Felicity blinked. "She came in and confessed directly. Said things about how we planned it and set it up in advance to give him a fun taste of adventure. I honestly couldn't tell if he fell for it or was playing along, but this seems to be the end of our break-in troubles for now."
"Good." Valey swayed her hips as she walked. "I'm gonna buy that guy the biggest padlock next time I get some money. If there's an archive with ancient artifacts that haven't been identified, especially now that break-ins are on everyone's minds, we really don't want some clown stumbling in and accidentally unleashing a monster, or something."
Felicity swatted her. "Have you ever heard of a jinx, darling!?"
"Yep." Valey grinned. "Imagine how hard it would blow these students' minds if I got to have a big smackdown with some eldritch goon right in the middle of campus? Not that I want this to happen, but if it did, I'm pretty sure I could rock the silver lining."
Felicity giggled. "Well, at least you're enjoying yourself. I, for one, am desperately looking forward to a better sleep schedule, perhaps hunting down a salon now that this break-in business is resolved... Say, before the Dream arrives, would you care to search for such pampering with me? I bet you'd pretty up nicely..."
"Bananas, girl, and give a nosebleed to whoever's doing the prettying? Sounds like it would be worth getting a few ribbons stuck in my mane."
"Ahaha! And here I thought you weren't that type..."
"Glad I could raise your spirits. If it gets even one more smile out of my friends, I'll do anything, and I'll enjoy it, too."