Celestia looked down at Luna uncertainly. She still hadn’t righted herself since she fell onto her side a little while ago and there was still a stream of magic going from her horn to Twilight. She knew everyone in the room was getting restless because it was starting to get to her too. Aside from some expression changes, nothing had really happened since Twilight stopped convulsing and the silence was almost unbearable. After looking over at Twilight for a moment, she turned back to Luna and noticed something. She blinked and took a closer look to make sure she was seeing it correctly. She was right; a single tear had escaped Luna’s left eye and was running slowly down across her cheek.
A few moments later, the flow of magic from her horn stopped and she began to twitch. She let out a few quiet murmurs as she began to stir. Spike and the other ponies soon noticed too and they began to get excited at the thought of their questions being answered soon. Seeing this, Celestia spread her wings and used her magic to create a moderately sized light at the tip of her horn, causing everyone to look over at her. Once she had their attention, Celestia dismissed the light and folded her wings before giving them a look, silently telling them not to bombard Luna with questions before stepping in front of her and looking down at her.
After a couple more seconds, Luna raised her head off the floor and righted herself onto her stomach, her eyes still closed. She shook her head and then opened her eyes a moment later, a few more tears leaking out of both eyes as she looked down at the floor. She raised her head and looked up at Celestia, who softly asked her, “What did you see, Luna?”
Luna closed her eyes in grief for a moment before opening them partway, looking down at the floor as she answered quietly, “A great many things, Sister… But of them, I saw… Paz turn against Cipher to try to save Big Boss…” She closed her eyes again, “But she trusted the wrong person… She died trying to save him, and I don’t believe she succeeded…”
Applejack was the first to speak, “What do ya mean, Princess? How could she have died tryin’ ta save Snake? Last time Twilight talked about her, she got thrown out of that ZEKE thing.”
Rarity asked while gesturing to Twilight, “Whatever happened that has befouled her appearance so?”
Rainbow shuddered, “Why was she shaking like she was being shocked earlier?”
Pinkie urged, “Tell us, Princess, tell us!”
Cadance spoke up, “Everyone, shh!” When they looked at her, they saw her gesturing to Twilight, who was stirring a bit on the bed. She seemed to become a little calmer when they stopped talking, but judging from the uneasy expression on her muzzle, it was not a good calm.
Shining’s heart ached to see her like this, but he agreed with Cadance; there was no telling how she’d react if they made her wake up right now. He looked back at the others and said, in a quiet tone, “Maybe we should discuss this somewhere else.”
Luna nodded, “Agreed.” She looked over at Twilight’s saddlebags, “There is something I would like to investigate for myself as well.” She stood up and used her magic to grab them, bringing them over and checking them for the book as well as Twilight’s tape player and headphones.
While she was looking, Celestia asked, “What do you need those for, Luna?”
Luna looked up at her after a moment, “I have questions and a hunch, sister.” She turned to leave the room, “Let’s go to the library.” They all followed Luna out, leaving Twilight alone. As they walked to the library, Luna said, “A fair warning to you all: very little of what I saw is anything anyone should have to witness. You will not be thought of less if you feel an overwhelming need to step out.” Her words didn’t reassure anyone, but she knew better than to mince words on this matter. Nothing about it was okay.
When they reached the library, Luna set Twilight’s saddlebags on the table in the center of the room and took out everything she thought she’d need before using her magic to create a screen for everyone else to look at. After using another spell to project her memories to the screen, she put the headphones on and opened the book, finding the seven tapes she was looking for at the top like she expected. She pulled them out and selected the first one, bringing it over to the tape player.
It didn’t take her long to figure out how the device worked and she was soon listening to the tapes while keeping up the display behind her. Sometimes what she heard caused her magic to waver, but it didn’t take more than a tap on her shoulder from Celestia’s magic to get her to refocus when she didn’t catch it herself. She was only somewhat aware of what they were doing, occasionally hearing the library doors opening and closing as somepony excused themselves. Her projection reached its end by the time she was finished with the last tape, now knowing the full extent of the horrors that Chico and Paz had endured up to the night of the attack.
Luna reached up and slipped the headphones off of her ears, letting them slide down until they stopped around the base of her neck. She closed her eyes, a feeling of gloom settling in her mind as she tried to process what she had learned. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything yet and, since she knew her magic had stopped flowing from her horn, she knew a similar feeling was likely being felt by everyone in the room since she heard nothing behind her. She opened her eyes after a minute and turned to look back at them. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Cadance appeared to be on the verge of tears, Applejack, Rainbow, and Shining looked sad as well as guilty, Rarity was comforting Spike while trying to hold back tears herself, and Celestia had her eyes closed, a solemn look on her muzzle.
The Sun Princess soon opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Luna, asking, “Luna… Is it all…?”
Luna nodded and set the tape player and headphones on the desk before walking over while saying, “It’s true, all of it, Sister.” She stopped in front of everyone, “There were no alterations, no twisting things out of proportion. What you saw were the memories that Twilight tried to bury deep inside.” She glanced back at the tape player, “The conversation between Paz and that man is from her remembering the ending of the sixth recording. Somehow, the memory of that spilled over into her memories of that night.” She glanced down at the floor and muttered, “Perhaps it was something he did.”
Celestia overheard her and asked, “Who? That man?”
Luna looked up at her in surprise for a moment before saying, “Oh, I’m purely speculating about why it might have happened, Sister. I can’t be certain.” Celestia didn’t know what she was talking about, but decided it would be better not to press her further.
Spike sniffled and asked, “Why didn’t she tell us about this?”
Shining answered, “No one talks about anything like that over tea and cupcakes, Spike. No one.”
Applejack added, “No one likes ta think about outlivin’ someone they care a lot about.”
Rainbow said, “Still, she could’ve told us something was bothering her. Right?”
Applejack gave her a hard look, “This soon after it happened, Rainbow? She’s probably still tryin’ ta accept that it happened.” She looked down at the floor, “The joy of bein’ home and reunited with us probably helped push it outta her head for a little while, and now she can’t ignore it.”
Celestia turned and walked away as she said, “Yes. Sooner or later, the past will catch up with you. Traumatic experiences are not so easily ignored and they can come in all forms, whether it’s being the only survivor of a devastating attack, being assaulted…” she stopped and closed her eyes in grief, “or losing someone dear to you, be it a permanent loss or banishment for a long time because you didn’t see the signs until it was too late.”
Luna detected the subtle shift in Celestia’s tone and it made her worried. “Celestia?” she asked.
Celestia heard her, but she didn’t respond, instead opening her eyes to look at the crystal wall she came to a stop in front of, seeing her reflection in it. She stared at it, seeing more than most others could see. Usually when she looked in a mirror, she saw the same perfect, regal face that her little ponies saw, but after particularly stressful days or being reminded of past events, she was often able to see past that mask she put on. This was one of those times.
Although they weren’t physical, looking at her face caused her to see the cracks and scars she had accumulated over the course of ruling a thousand years without Luna by her side. She felt guilt for what she’d done almost immediately afterwards, but as the only remaining princess of Equestria, there’d been no time to properly come to terms with it. With moving the capital to Canterlot, taking over her sister’s duties, and dealing with the day to day responsibilities of being a ruler, she hadn’t had time to seek proper therapy for her guilt, and the effects of that added up without her even noticing. Despite her warm and loving demeanor, she knew she was distant from the ponies she ruled over. Her long life and hope for the future kept her going, but Twilight was not like her, and she was still young. If she continued to sit on the side and assume things would go as she thought without any further input…
She closed her eyes for a moment before raising her head and opening them again, a grim look on her muzzle as she knew what she had to do. Though they couldn’t see her expression, everyone noticed the movement. “Princess?” Rarity asked.
When she received no response, Luna tried again, “Sister! What are you thinking?”
Celestia broke eye contact with her reflection and turned to face Luna directly. She stared at her for a moment before saying, plain and simple, “We are returning to Canterlot in the morning, Luna. And Twilight… is coming back with us.” She was fully expecting the outcry that immediately came afterwards.
“WHAT?!” Rainbow exclaimed.
“You can’t!” Pinkie cried.
“It isn’t her fault!” Applejack pleaded.
Celestia nodded, “You’re correct, Applejack. Circumstances were beyond her control. Not even Big Boss suspected Paz had been implanted with more than one bomb or that the inspection wasn’t real. No one could’ve asked her to do more than she did or suspected or known more than she did, and she won’t be able to move on until she can come to terms with that.”
Rarity asked, “Then why not let her stay here, then? Erm, Princess.”
Fluttershy took a few steps forward before saying, “I’ve, um… I’ve taken care of animals before that aren’t… physically injured, but hurt on the inside, Princess. So… I do know that they tend to get better if they’re with others that care deeply for them. I believe ponies are the same way?”
Celestia replied, “You’re absolutely correct, Fluttershy. Twilight needs support if she’s going to get better. She needs all the support she can get.”
Rainbow started, “Then why…”
Celestia cut her off, “She’ll need the support of her friends, her family, and even Luna and myself.” Her eyes shifted to look at Twilight’s friends, “And correct me if I’m mistaken, but if we’re only considering you girls, Twilight and Shining Armor’s parents, and him and Cadance, I believe that one of those groups has never had the time to visit Twilight’s home here in Ponyville, one can make arrangements to travel out to see her, and one can move a birthday party to Canterlot on short notice, put together a wedding in less than a day, and is able to spontaneously change their plans whenever something comes up or catches their fancy. Of the three, which do you think she should be living closest to?”
Rainbow stammered, “Well… Okay, but… Uh…”
Luna spoke up after a moment, “You know someone as well, don’t you, Sister?”
Celestia nodded, “I do. I did meet a pony who helped me through the final years leading up to your return, Luna, and I remain in touch with her to this day. I believe she may be able to help Twilight as she helped me.” She looked back at Twilight’s friends, “And don’t take this the wrong way, girls, but Ponyville…” she hesitated for a moment, “Ponyville is no place for her right now.”
Rainbow got a little annoyed at what she might’ve been implying and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
Fluttershy murmured, “Is it because of the castle?”
Celestia answered, “Yes, that is part of it. But it’s more due to the fact that there is often so much going on around Ponyville that it’s not entirely good for a pony trying to work through trauma to live here. Somepony could approach her at a bad time and she might do something she wouldn’t do under normal circumstances, or something like a Sonic Rainboom going off could remind her of the battlefield. I believe her recent outbursts and the incident earlier today at Sugarcube Corner reinforce the idea that she can easily be set off at this point.” Rainbow opened her mouth to say something, but stopped as she considered Twilight’s behavior since they brought her back to Ponyville.
Rarity suggested, “Well, we could do something about that. Tell ponies about what she’s been through, try to keep things under control…”
Celestia said, “While I do agree the ponies here should have some idea of why she’s been behaving the way she has, I believe it’s entirely unreasonable to think you could ever have full control over what happens here. Twilight is the one who needs to come to terms with what happened, and being unrealistic will not help her achieve that faster.”
Cadance asked after a moment, “Aunt Celestia, are you sure about this?”
Celestia closed her eyes as she responded, “I’m very proud of everything Twilight’s done, and I’ve wanted so many things for her, but the one thing I’ve never wanted is for her to turn out like me. I don’t know if that’s possible now, but I will certainly do all I can to prevent it.”
She opened her eyes at the feeling of something touching her right foreleg and looked down to see that it was Spike, his claws resting above her shoe. “Princess… When you leave in the morning… can I come with her?” he asked, sounding desperate and scared, his eyes still wet with tears.
Celestia lifted her hoof and placed it on his back, softly saying, “Of course, Spike. I would never think of separating you from her, and not just because she needs you more than ever now.” She looked up at the others, “That goes for the rest of you as well. I don’t want to make her leave Ponyville either, but I feel that this is the best option for helping her get better. I know you’ve all been away from your normal lives longer than you may have liked, and I know it’s not fair to expect you to keep doing it with no idea of how long you’ll be doing it, but I’m asking you to find the time to come visit her in Canterlot. For her sake.”
While they were mulling over her words, no one noticed a familiar draconequus move across the walls and slide out of the room. Discord kept moving across the walls, only coming out when he was inside Twilight’s room. He walked over to her bed and looked down at her. She was curled up on her side in a fetal position, her body shaking as if she was cold, tears escaping her eyes and running down the sides of her face.
Discord often had trouble comprehending emotions. The only time they really seemed to click for him was when Fluttershy was involved. But after watching what Luna had showed everyone and listening to what they had said, he truly felt guilty at not only what his antics this day had caused without him realizing, but also further guilt for siding with Tirek. For once, he felt truly responsible for what had happened and worried that he might have well and truly destroyed any chance of actually being friends with Twilight.
He used his magic to lift her up before pulling the covers back, setting her down and pulling them over her. He reached down with his lion paw after a moment and wiped her tears away. She seemed to stop shaking at the gesture, but it didn’t alleviate how he was feeling. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I really am,” he said softly, hoping she might somehow hear him. Unsure of what else to say, he quietly left the room and the castle, uncertainty of what the coming days might bring gnawing at the back of his mind.