//------------------------------// // We're In This Together // Story: The Olden World // by Czar_Yoshi //------------------------------// Starlight appeared in Gazelle's room at the hospital, standing in the windowsill. The room was empty. She was early. Her mind felt like it was holding its breath as she stared out the window at the midnight path, waiting for Valey and the guards and their captive to arrive. She wouldn't berate herself. She was doing what she could. All she could do was wait. Seconds passed like kernels of hail on her back, making her feel tense and cold and exposed in the open. She fished in her poncho, holding Lyn's moon glass in a hoof. If someone else had taken Valey's moon glass, the things she would do to get it back... Slowly, her patience paid off. A party became visible on the road, the two guards carrying Gazelle and Valey following warily, even though he didn't resist. The window looked out over the entrance, and they entered the building, vanishing from sight. Starlight lit her horn, not moving, and expanded and thinned her telekinetic field, calling on an old trick until she could feel only vague resistance from the walls of the lobby below and the ponies moving inside. She moved her aura with them, too thin for the ponies below to detect. Gazelle was passed around, and soon he was walking under his own power, a smaller pony than the guards with him. The guards and Valey left. For a moment, Starlight realized Valey had to know where she was, that she couldn't hide, because Valey could smell her from anywhere... but that realization led to the cold knowledge that Valey wasn't coming for her. Her best friend didn't care. Starlight stumbled as panic gripped her chest, fighting it back by insisting she didn't want to be found and that Gazelle was the only thing important. It felt like her brain was physically moving inside her skull, and trying to drag the rest of her body along with it. Before the sensation could pass and she could regain her balance, she fell off the windowsill, and was laying on her back with the ceiling in her view. She couldn't remember the moment of impact. Was this happening to her again? Why her? Why here? Why now? Please not now... Starlight growled, willing herself to get up, and her body did nothing. "Easy, now," a caring mare's voice consoled, and the door swung open. "We'll get you back to bed, and I'm sure you'll feel much better in the... Hello?" Starlight didn't move, her teeth grinding together. She had blown it. "Lyn?" Gazelle called, breathless. "Gwendolyn, is that you!?" Starlight's horn popped with an erratic spark of magic. "Is that you again?" the nurse called, approaching quickly. "Oh, honey, the floor is no place to-" Gazelle rushed past her like a shadow. "Gwendolyn!" He stood urgently over her... and blinked, his permanently-pinprick eyes growing very sad. "You stopped me." "I'M SORRY!" Starlight burst out, and starting crying. "I'm sorry! I know how much you miss her! I miss her too, a-and-" Gazelle opened his mouth and started to inhale. Starlight's eyes widened. There was a faint red light in the black pit of his throat, and didn't Garsheeva have a breath attack? Something felt wrong. The stick under her poncho shifted, and she readied the nightmare shield, waiting for the first hint of spikes... Something hot, damp and violating touched her face, just like last time, only this time Starlight was aware and watching... and she saw nothing but air. Gazelle kept inhaling, far past the capacity mortal lungs should have allowed, and the light in his throat pulsed faintly as Starlight felt her mind drain of panic and loathing, the invisible force still probing her. It could have been a second and it could have been an hour, but the feeling eventually subsided, leaving her feeling limp and empty. "Don't cry." Gazelle reached down and brushed a tear from her cheek with the side of an extended claw. "I can't bear to see fillies cry..." Before anything else could happen, the nurse swept between them, scooping Starlight away from Gazelle and against her side with a wing. "You need your rest," she sternly told the prince. "I'll be back in a moment to get you anything you need, okay? Let me just take care of this filly first." She stepped outside the door and set Starlight down in a chair in the hallway, crouching until their eyes were on level. "Are you alright?" she whispered. "What's wrong, honey?" "I-I..." Starlight swallowed, tapping the stick against her flank inside the poncho to break the connection. "Everything..." "Family troubles?" the nurse guessed. "Are you afraid?" Starlight shook her head, feeling completely empty, like the strength to move her neck was coming from somewhere else. "No family troubles." "Can I help you get back to them?" the nurse asked. She was a student like all the others, maybe Shinespark's age. Starlight got the feeling that she had never been afraid for her life, or her friends', and her personal crises had never come near the level of danger to continents and cities. She probably would never be able to understand, no matter how much Starlight explained herself... but she didn't need to understand to care. Starlight decided she trusted the nurse completely. "Can I talk to Gazelle first?" Starlight asked, her voice like melting ice in her mouth. "I came here looking for him." The nurse looked concerned. "He needs his sleep, and I need a way to make him less restless and stop running away. Will you wind him up? I need to care for all of my patients." Starlight shook her head. "He was looking for something. Maybe he'll be better if I give it to him." The nurse reluctantly let her go. "Be quick, you hear? He's not in a good state of mind. I'll be right here for you." When Starlight entered the room, Gazelle hadn't budged an inch from where she left him. His eyes glowed at her in the darkness, waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry," Starlight said, her legs moving on their own. Why was she doing this? Her thoughts didn't feel up to spinning. She didn't have much motivation to go anywhere. She barely felt up to questioning this. She was only here because she had to be... "I miss her too. You really want to get her back..." "I would do anything," Gazelle rasped. "Why did you stop me?" His tone was sad. Starlight's ears fell. "Because someone told me we'd be happier if we moved on and let go." "But I have moved on," Gazelle whispered. "I changed since we fought the first time, in Izvaldi. I wouldn't hurt anyone, now. So why can't my punishment end? Am I still doing something wrong... angel?" "Angel?" Starlight blinked. "I was wayward. Misdirected," Gazelle breathed. "You ended my path. I faced my judgement. You fought against it and held it off. Now you fight me again." A muscle in his side involuntarily twitched. "Am I still crooked, angel? Where do I go wrong? Or are you here to condemn me as much as save me? Or are you a force of nature and not an angel at all...?" Starlight narrowed her eyes. "I don't feel very angelic. All I want is to protect my friends." She looked down. "Which is what you want, too." "Please," Gazelle silently begged. "I have seen her. Valey. She is back. Tell me how... please...!" Starlight shivered. "You need her body and her soul, and then away to put them back together. We had both. But your sister got turned into dust, Gazelle." Gazelle made a faint choking sound. "I don't know if it's possible," Starlight apologized. "Actually... I know that nothing's impossible, but it might not be worth the price. You don't have her body..." "I. Will. Do. Anything," Gazelle hissed. "I'll move the entire world if it's what it takes..." Starlight watched him. "If you're going to fail, would you rather fail now, before you've done anything, or make progress and fail later, when it feels like you're close?" "I won't fail her," Gazelle choked. "She doesn't deserve to die as part of my punishment. If you are an angel, please, please help me..." Slowly, Starlight swallowed and held out the moon glass. "Here she is." Gazelle stared at her in confusion. "Her soul," Starlight whispered, trying to keep her voice low enough that it couldn't be heard from outside. "And her cutie mark. It's moon glass. I stole her back from Chrysalis." Gazelle approached as if in a dream, reverently scooping the shard out of Starlight's hoof. "Gwendolyn..." "Her body is dead," Starlight continued. "Gone. You can't get it back. So are her memories. But that's her. You should... keep her." Gazelle didn't seem to hear her. "How do I get her back?" "You can't," Starlight replied, fully aware that there was a way to create a brand-new body for a mark encased in moon glass... and also that there were no blank mares in Equestria old enough to do it. "Not the Gwendolyn you remember and love. And not by yourself. If you were to see her again, ever, the first thing you'd have to do is take care of yourself. You need help to get her, the kind of help you can't get from anyone through begging or force. You would need friends who care about both of you enough to do major things for you only because they love you. You'd need to have a life you can live without her to bring her back into it. The only way you can bring her back is by being able to live fully without her." "That's impossible," Gazelle rasped. "How do you know!?" "Because that's the way I want things to work," Starlight replied, a tiny spark awakening in her lifeless chest. "I'm nothing without my friends. I've risked everything for them again and again, and all I've ever been told is the only thing that lies down this road is pain for myself as I give everything I have to get my way. I can't imagine a happily-ever-after without them, but I know that I won't find one if I keep doing what I'm doing because I've done nothing but get more lonely and more powerful. And I'm afraid if I stop trying and trust the future to be alright if they're gone, I'll lose everything and it will just be worse." "So you don't know," Gazelle whispered. "Then what if I trust you and some chance to return her slips through my claws because I wasn't ready?" "...I know." Starlight hardened her eyes. "That's why it's hard. But I got this soul back from Chrysalis in the first place, didn't I? Trust me. Even if I can't find faith in the world to sit down and stop trying to protect my friends myself, I'm not about to let it stab you in the back if you try to do the same. Please try to live a life that Gwendolyn would be proud of." Mentally, she added, And please show me it can be done for my sake, too... Gazelle's breath hitched. "I can't," he finally sighed. "Not until I can hold her again..." "Then you'll never be strong enough to get her back," Starlight apologized. "I... won't try to stop you again. Good night, Gazelle." Gazelle didn't reply. Starlight opened the door, stepped through it, and closed it again. It hurt, making things up and telling Gazelle that giving up was the way to get back his sister... but that was what he thought was happiness, and if he could live a happy life without her, that would be happiness too. And maybe, if the world was as nice to him as it had been mean to her, there really was some magic in making friends and trusting them instead of himself alone that could return Lyn from the dead. But that might be too much to believe. "It was quieter in there," the nurse said, waiting. "Did you get anything off your shoulders?" "Yes," Starlight replied, a tiny spark of blue in her chest keeping her on her hooves. "I did. I'm tired... I need to go back home." She didn't feel up to teleporting, and the nurse wasn't about to make her. "Of course, honey. I'll carry you to the Laughter dorms, how about that? My coltfriend lives there, so I know a few shortcuts..." When the nurse opened the Laughter door, Felicity and Maple were sitting by a fireplace, and Valey was nowhere to be seen. "I'm back," Starlight said tiredly, wanting to pass out. "Starlight!" Maple immediately got up, hobbling over and taking her in a ginger hug. She looked up at the nurse. "Where did you find her?" "She was at the hospital," the nurse replied. "Looking for dear Gazelle. I was worried about her, but she says she'll be safe with you?" Maple glanced down at Starlight in concern. "Only if she doesn't run off again. Valey is still out after taking Gazelle away. Starlight, we wondered if you'd gone with her without telling us... Are you alright?" "I don't feel very good," Starlight mumbled into her chest. "I need to go lie down..." "What you need is for me to look over you immediately," Felicity interrupted, giving a worried look at Starlight and a stern thank-you to the nurse. "Something was wrong enough with you that I could practically smell it just before you disappeared, darling, and you're completely different now than you were then." The nurse bowed and took her leave, hurrying off back to the hospital. "Should we at least sit down?" Maple suggested. Felicity nodded, shepherding Starlight along to the couch. "You can smell me?" Starlight asked quizzically. "Well, not you specifically." Felicity waved a hoof. "Valey likely would have explained this, but intense, nearby emotions register to our noses, darling. It's a sarosian thing. And there was something deeply unnatural about what you were feeling just then." Starlight folded her ears. "Deeply unnatural?" "I know my emotions," Felicity replied, settling into the couch. "And there was something very off about yours just there." Starlight looked down. "Unnatural as in something was affecting me? Because Gazelle..." "Gazelle what, darling?" Felicity gently pressed. "You went to see him?" Maple added. "Even though he was already just here?" "To apologize." Starlight nodded. "For stopping him even though he just wants to see his sister again. Just like I'd do if I lost any of you." She quieted, and added, "Like I did when Valey died." "I see," Felicity murmured. "Darling, please tell me as much as you can about what you've been feeling just now."