//------------------------------// // So Serious // Story: The Diary of Discord Wimp // by ThePianoMan //------------------------------// “Know thyself, know thy enemy…” -Sun Discord and Spike chanted to the beat of the music blasting from Discord’s tape player as they rode down the sidewalk on their bikes. “Da da da da da da da da!” Rainbow groaned as she followed them along with Fluttershy, Twilight, and Big Mac. “You guys are such nerds.” Discord and Spike whipped their heads around to sing the opening chorus. “Flash! MAGNUS!” Discord balanced as he performed a short segment of air guitar. “Savior of Equestria!” “It’s just a movie guys.” Rainbow grumbled. “No.” Spike lowered his voice, mimicking the stereotypical narrators voice. “It’s not just a movie. It’s the movie.” “It’s the first time a comic book has ever been adapted into a full length motion picture.” Discord popped his front tire into the air riding on the back wheel as the music flared up with electric guitar and operatic vocals. “It’s gonna be the best movie of this year!” Rainbow cocked her brow. “What if it’s not like the comic?” “Who cares!” Spike laughed. “Besides, is any movie that ever came out of Applewood ever faithful to the source material? Answer. No. Come on. There has to be a book or something you want to see made into a movie.” Rainbow shook her head. “Not really.” “But Rainbow,” Fluttershy piped up, “what about the Daring Do books you like to read?” “Hold the phone!” Spike hollered as he burst into laughter. “Rainbow, Dash! You read Daring Do?” “Oh, brother.” Rainbow rubbed her forehead in frustration. Twilight snickered. “You like to read? That kind of sounds like egghead stuff to me.” “Oh!” Discord howled. Spike nodded his head to Twilight. “Solid burn, Twily.” Twilight went a little quiet after that, only nodding to Spike. “Spike,” Discord pointed off in the general direction of the mall, “aren’t there Daring Do comics already?” “Yeah,” Spike confirmed, “they’ve got all the books and other adventures that were pre-approved by A.K. Yearling herself.” “Really?” Rainbow’s face lit up. “I mean, uh-.” “Hey.” Discord slowed down a bit to meet Rainbow. “Don’t sweat it. I mean, aside from Twilight and Fluttershy, we played O&O together. Spike and I read comics. Twilight’s a bookworm. Fluttershy’s been your friend for longer than we’ve known about each other. Do you honestly think any of us are the sort of people that would judge you for reading Daring Do?” “You’re right.” Rainbow smiled at Discord, Fluttershy, and everyone. “You know what? When the Flash Magnus movie comes out, let’s go see it together.” Twilight hummed in thought. “Discord. I don’t mean to sound rude, but when we first met, I didn’t think you’d be the sort of person to talk like that.” Discord shrugged. “My mother always said, you become the people you surround yourself with.” “E-yup.” Big Mac agreed. “I like that.” Spike smiled at Discord. “I hope that we all hang out after Highschool is over. I hope we stay friends for a long time. At least, I hope my dad finds us a new place to live so we don’t have to move.” “Discord told me about that.” Fluttershy flew up to Spike. “I’m sorry your dad can’t keep your home.” “That’s fine. I’m sorry my dad split the payment on the house.” Spike shrugged. “If I’m honest, I’m not really attached to that place.” Discord smirked. “What if you convinced him to rent rooms at my house.” “Don’t even bother.” Spike groaned. “I tried talking him into that.” “What did he say?” Rainbow asked. Spike cleared his throat doing his best impression of his father. “Spike I told you, it’d be rude of us to bring our problems into Miss Redheart’s home.” Rainbow shook her head. “That smells like and excuse.” “He does have a point though.” Twilight butted in. “Spike, if your dad is still going through legal and financial disputes with Donna, would you really want to bring that to Discord’s home?” Spike sighed. “You’re right. Just trying to,” he grinned at Discord, “push things along.” “Wait.” Rainbow furrowed her brows in thought. “Is there something going on between your parents.” “I wish.” Spike mumbled. Fluttershy gasped. “Spike! Are you and Discord trying to force your parents together?” “Hey.” Spike glared at Fluttershy. “Don’t just call me out. This is a team effort.” “Discord!” Fluttershy flew up to him. “You shouldn’t meddle in your mother’s life like that.” “I know, I’m sorry.” Discord stared at the sidewalk and every crack he rolled over. “They just look like they enjoy talking to each other. My mom hasn’t dated anyone in years. And the first time they really talked, it was like they were old friends. It was spooky.” He looked up at Fluttershy. “It was like when I opened up to you.” “Gah!” Rainbow gagged. “Get a room you two.” Despite Rainbow’s antics, Fluttershy smiled at Discord. “I understand. But, you shouldn’t push anything. If it happens, it’ll happen naturally.” “You’re right.” Discord hummed. “But, they’re just so…” “...nice to each other.” Spike pointed out. “The only real problem is that my dad can be a pushover and isn’t very vocal about his, I guess, feelings. And having left Donna, he’s not quite ready to move on yet.” Discord nodded. “My mom can be a bit intimidating, especially to guys. Between her old we can do it poster and her ‘I don’t need no guy’ attitude, I think she’d scare your dad off.” Rainbow snorted a bit. “Wow, I would say this whole conversation is weird. But it’s kinda interesting.” Twilight grumbled. “It’s like one of those terrible Hearths Warming movies that my mom likes to watch.” Discord nodded. “Or a poorly written fanfiction.” “What’s that?” Fluttershy asked. Discord looked over his shoulder at her. “Fanfiction?” “No. That.” She pointed to the house with the radio towers. “Oh. That’s the Professor’s house. Come on, he wanted to see us.” Discord rode up and leaned his bike against the garage. “Spike?” “On it.” Spike pulled out his EC radio, but before he could use it, a speak beeped to life. “Approach the door, in an orderly fashion.” Discord looked at Spike and shrugged. “Something must be up.” They all approached the door which was slightly ajar. Discord motioned for everyone to wait until he gave the signal. Another speaker in the house sounded off. “Come in, I’m in the back testing my automated security system.” Shrugging, Discord motioned for everyone to come in. “Hello?” The front door slammed shut with all of them inside. Machines dropped from the ceiling, launching metallic ropes that tied everyone up tight. The more they struggled the tighter the ropes got. Spike cried out. “Hey! What gives?” “Aha!” Everyone screamed as a pony in a full yellow hazmat suit leapt out. “Gotcha!” It was Doc. “Discord, if you’re the real Discord. Listen to me and make no attempts to free your friends from their restraints. I fear one of them might be a changeling!” “That’s crazy!” Discord rolled over towards Fluttershy cutting her off from Doc. “Ah ah ah.” Doc whipped out a device with two prongs that extended out from it. “Oh my gosh, what is that?” Rainbow tried to roll away. Doc flipped a few switches on the device. “It’s a sonic disruptor. It emits a frequency at close range that disrupts a changeling’s control over their disguise, revealing them for who they are. I just need to test you all, to make sure you’re not one of them.” “You’re crazy!” Spike whimpered as he fought his restraints. “Ah ha!” Doc turned to Spike. “You’re first.” Spike squirmed violently. “Wait! Where are you sticking that thing?” “Calm down. It’ll all be over soon.” Doc pressed a big red button with the device near Spike’s head. Spike winched at a fluctuating tone that sounded like a deep textured hum. “Oh, that wasn’t so bad.” “Congratulations, my scaly friend. You’re not a changeling.” Doc moved on to Big Mac. He pressed the button, activating the device again. Nothing happened. “Hm. You’re not a changeling?” Big Mac shook his head. “Hm-nope.” “Huh.” Doc stood back. “I thought for sure… Oh never mind.” He tested Discord. He tested Fluttershy. He tested Twilight. And finally, he tested Rainbow. “Good news. None of you are changelings! I suppose there might have been a better way to test you. I can imagine how terrifying and emotionally scarring it might be if I revealed one of your friends was actually a love eating shapeshifter.” He laughed, a little. “Oh, and myself.” He tested himself with the device. “See, you can trust me. I’m still not sure about that large red fellow. He’s quiet, too quiet.” Big Mac snorted. “E-yup.” “Well then. Let me set you all free.” He walked over to a wall and slammed an orange button down, releasing all the restraints. Discord helped Fluttershy up. “Are you alright? You’re not hurt are you? I’m sorry. He’s usually harmless.” He turned on Doc. “What’s going on?! Have you lost your mind?” “Far from it, I’m afraid. Insanity would be preferable to the terrible truth that lays before you. Discord, I’m afraid you and your friends are in danger. All of ponyville may be at risk. The sisters forbid, Equestria may be on the eve of destruction from within.” Doc pulled off his hazmat suit and tossed it to the side. “My samples were stolen. The changeling vomit is gone They took everything. The team I called in to investigate the sewers informed me there was nothing there, and they confiscated my materials when I granted them access to my lab.” Discord felt everything go cold. “But, you said there was enough of that stuff left there to fill an autocar.” “Wait, what does this have to do with us?” Rainbow flew up to Doc. “I didn’t witness whatever was in the canal, neither did Fluttershy or Big Mac.” “You’re Discord and Spike’s friends.” Doc explained. “It’s enough for them to watch you, to use you to their ends. I’m sorry I have to tell you this. But, it would be a disservice if I left you in the dark. Also, I didn’t know who else I could trust. I’m afraid that changelings may very well have infiltrated my higher ups. So, I need your help.” “But, what can we do?” Fluttershy asked. “We’re not soldiers or agents. How do you expect us to help?” Doc smiled as he let out a sigh. “Children, you all have an advantage that many overlook. You are underestimated. If changelings have infiltrated our society, their disadvantage will be their pride and arrogance. They’re probably thinking the same thing. What can children possibly do? Their dismissal of you will be our advantage. Here.” He pushed a cart up to them. “These are new portable versions of the sonic disruptors. I want you all to take one.” Discord shook his head. “No.” He pushed the cart back. “No, this can’t be real. It can’t be.” “Discord,” Spike picked up one of the sonic disruptors, “we both saw those unicorns with the same face. Doc actually had those samples of the changeling goop. If they’re really out there, we should do something about it.” “They’re not out there! They can’t be.” Discord shook his head. “Professor, you said they were all gone. Wiped out, you said that.” Rainbow picked up a sonic disruptor as well. “And what if they come for us, and we’re not prepared?” “No.” Discord grabbed at his collar. He looked at Spike. “We shouldn’t have to be a part of this. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” “Discord,” Spike grabbed the draconequus’s arm, “you’re not making any sense. If there’s danger, we have to face it.” Bic Mac stepped up to the cart. A sad look lingered on his face before he nodded. “E-yup.” He picked up one of the disruptors. “This can’t be happening. No, I can’t. Everything was about to be better, I can’t lose it all. It’s not fair.” Discord backed up into a wall before sliding to the floor. “Why? Why is this happening?” “Discord.” Fluttershy moved in on him, two disruptors gripped in her wing. “I know you’re afraid.” Discord lost control of his face as flooding emotions took their toll. The world seemed to collapse in on him as he subconsciously hid behind his arms. “I don’t want to lose my friends. I don’t want to lose you. I just started to find you.” “Then don’t lose me.” She pushed one of the disruptors into his paw. “I’m afraid too. But, I care about my friends so much, that I want to be brave for them. I don’t want to lose you. So, I want to be brave, for you. Can you be brave for me? For Spike? For all of us?” Discord leaned his face against Fluttershy’s, just to know she was there and that this wasn’t some terrible nightmare. “Okay.” Then again, he didn’t believe it could be a nightmare as long as Fluttershy was there. Looking up, he was met by confident smiles from all his friends. The bravest of those smiles came from Fluttershy. Taking the disruptor in his grasp, Discord took a deep breath as he nodded to Doc. “What’s the plan?”