//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 : Stereotypical Jew 
// Story: Shout At The Devil: Road Trip 
// by Bucket of Skies 
//------------------------------//

“Wake up sleeping beauties! We gotta get back on the road. “, Brim screamed out waking us up in the morning.
He was covered in dirt and oil stains and looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Which, saying that now sounds dumb because he was working for only one night. He also smelled like oil and cigarette ash. It was unusual because it smelled like he smoked a whole pack in one night. I know he is a smoker, but from what I saw he would only do two cigarettes in one day.
I may make bad decisions, but I don’t make the mistake of fucking up my throat with cigarettes. Especial with how deep my voice sounds already. 
“Could you be any louder?”, Sunset asked getting up from the bed.
“I could, but that would kill you both. Now let's get a move on! It’s time to practice Shabbat or whatever the hell Jews do on a daily basis.”, Brim said referencing what was to happen today.
I groaned at the realization of having to visit my parents, more specifically my dad. I had an idea of how exactly that day would go, especially with what my dad would say to Sunset. I groaned at the idea again as I grabbed my glasses from the table next to the bed. 
“You slept okay Rocky?”, she asked me throwing on a cleaner shirt.
“Yeah I’m fine. Just not looking forward to today.”, I explained to her getting up from the bed.
“Hey. It’s going to fine. You worry so much about your parents.”, Sunset said trying to comfort me.
“There is a reason I moved to Manehatten instead of stayed in Bonkers.”, I explained.
“Well, come on. Lets just go and get this over with and we can keep going on our road trip to Canterlot.”, she said holding out her hand to help me up.
I grabbed her hand and gave her a morning kiss before throwing on the rest of my clothes for the day. Brim had appeared with a bag filled with yamakas.
“Hey Rocky, since you are the Jew out of our group, which yamaka you think says the right amount of Jew without seeming like a Holocaust survivor to your parents?”, Brim asked me pulling out three of them.
“Why should it matter? They won’t be able to see you.”, I asked him.
“I have to dress Jewish if I enter a Jewish house because it is gonna be extremely painful for me. The Jews don’t take kindly to demons like me.”, Brim explained.
“Why is that?”, I asked.
“We gave Hitler a job when he came to hell instead of giving him eternal torture like God and Torah. My ex found him useful as a janitor for her private bathroom.”, Brim explained.
“Wait, how is it painful for you?”, Sunset asked him.
“Imagine acid being thrown at you in a pool. That's what it feels like from the Jewish atmosphere that senses a demon is near. The only way to remedy that was to partake and act Jewish for a little while.”, Brim explained.
“That doesn’t make sense. Why don’t you burn now with Rocky?”, She questioned.
“It’s because I’m not a traditional Jew. Sure I like to celebrate Hanukkah every once and awhile, but I don’t go crazy religious with it. It’s like a title of some sorts.”, I answered for Brim finally catching on to what that meant.
“Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! Would you like your prize to be an offensive Jewish or a slightly more offensive Jewish joke. This chapter is going to be the most fucked up either way so it won’t matter which one you choose.”, Brim said putting on a blue yamakka and burning the rest with the snap of his finger.
“I have a bad feeling about some of the comments you are going to make.”, Sunset told him.
“Ah grow a spine. It’s not like you were born during that time period.”, Brim said.
“Should we begin to pack up now so we can get back on the road to get this over with?”, I said intervening before Sunset tried to censor him.
Which by the way, is a huge mistake. If you try to censor me, it’s like neutering a dog. You get rid of its purpose of being a male dog. You make it a bitch.
Anyways, we managed to pack up the luggage we took with us and headed out to the car. To our surprise, the car had looked completely brand new. Like really brand new. Like Brim had somehow time traveled back to the 80s and got a brand new one. It even looked less puke green, and more slightly less puke green.
“Good Grief! How did you manage to clean it up so well?”, I asked Brim.
“Like I promised. I was gonna get the car clean one way or another. Let's just say thank Lucy I still have connections in hell who can give me spells to fix cars like this old girl.”, he said rubbing the side of the car.
“Just so long as it doesn’t break down on our way to Rocky’s parents.”, Sunset said opening up the back to put our bags in the back.
“It ain’t gonna break, because I managed to use a time travel spell on it so it will run like it did back in 1981.”, Brim explained.
“You can time travel?”, I asked.
“Not exactly. If I worked in Hell still, yes, but now I can only work with time travel-like magic. Essentially, I could make you and Sunset both eighty-two if I wanted to.”, Brim explained.
“Let’s not do that.”, I said shuddering at the idea of suddenly being old.
We finally settled our things in the new and improved Speedwagon and headed back onto the highway, only this time we didn’t have a psycho truck driver to try and kill us. We still had a long drive ahead of us, only it wasn’t as long. It wasn’t as boring either because Brim was able to get all of his Jew jokes out before we reached my parents home. Sunset had asked me why I wasn’t getting offended by his jokes, especially the really offensive ones about a girl who had a diary in the Holocaust. I simply told her that I heard just about the exact same jokes in high school and that they didn’t phase me. Plus I wasn’t a traditional Jew, as stated before.
After about three hours of driving, we made it to West Bonkers. Oh how I certainly missed the grey atmosphere of the town. Things looked like they hadn’t changed for years. Imagine a more depressing and more suburban version of a place like Las Pegasus. Only, there are fewer casinos and more gas station casinos that are shitty money scams. 
That was until you reached the Jewish part of town. It was surprisingly clean and consistent compared to the rest of the town. If you were to visit the town and notice the somewhat clean nature and similarities between the houses, you’d think that you had stumbled into a weird dystopian society where everyone is equal except for the head leader.
We finally pulled up to my parents house with their bright blue mailbox.
The place was oozing with Jewish energy, damn near caused my skin to want to burst into flames.
We parked outside the front of the curb and got out of the car. Finally a time to really stretch…..right before being worked out once again with visiting my parents. Oh how I remembered the day I left home, such a freedom I felt that was like being free from torment in Hell.
Hah! You wish you would feel that if you somehow escaped from hell. What most likely would happen in that situation was PTSD from the lava feet torture and then most likely killed yourself and end up right where you started. In short, there is no escape from the torture in Hell. 
“You ready Rocky?”, Sunset asked me on the steps of the doorway.
“Eeyup. Lets just try and get this over with.”, I said before hesitantly ringing the doorbell.
As I was waiting for someone to answer the door, a thought I forgot to talk about hit me and I needed to explain it to Sunset.
“Oh wait! Before we go, I need to warn you about my dad.”, I said looking at her.
“What about him?”, she asked.
“Well, there is no easy way to explain this, but he is a very stereotypical Jew.”, I tried explaining.
“What? Your dad is the name of the chapter?”, Brim asked sounding surprised.
“What? No. He is one who plays into the stereotype of a Jew.”, I explained.
“Oh thank Lucy, I was hoping you weren’t stealing my ability to break the fourth wall.”, Brim said sighing from relief.
“Fourth wall? What are you..”, Sunset tried to ask before being interrupted by the door opening.
“For the last damn time, I don’t want to buy your chocolate bars for your school! Now get the hell off my doorstep befor- Oh, it’s you. One minute Rocky. Luster! Put down the Kugel! Our boy is here!”, My dad screamed out.
“Just a minute dear. It’s very hot.”, my mother said from the kitchen.
“Well put it down somewhere! Just not on the fine China. I spent good money for it to not be broken from a hot casserole.”, my dad demanded.
“Yes dear.”, she responded from the kitchen.
“Well come on in. We can’t waste the air conditioning bill because you couldn’t come in on time. Come in and say hi to your family.”, he said to me before walking back into the house.
I had expected that sort of acknowledgment from my dad, but Sunset on the other hand was speechless. I guess she finally realized what I had been talking about when I said that I wasn’t looking forward to visiting him.
“Well don’t want to keep the Jews waiting. That’s what happened to them when they were in the Holocaust.”, Brim said walking past us with a small exaggerated smile.
For a moment it was silent between me and Sunset.
“Oh my god.”, Sunset said breaking out of that shocked look.
“You see what I mean now?”, I asked her.
“Yeah. Let’s just hope that your mom is a little better”, Sunset said before taking my hand and walking into my parents' house
The inside of my parents’ house has stayed the same since the day I left for college. It still had the same beige carpet that had been there for years, even before I was born. My mother’s collection of artisan plates were still looking as dusty as ever. Everything was more or less the same from what I saw. 
“Luster! Our son and his girl is here. Can you finish up with the casserole and say hi?”, My dad yelled out again.
“Just a moment dear.”, my mom said.
“Ugh, women.”, my dad muttered to himself.
“So, how is mom?”, I asked awkwardly.
“How about you ask her. I honestly do not know at this point other than her being too damn busy with a Kugel instead of her own son.”, My dad said with a grumble.
“Oh good grief.”, I said to myself softly.
“Oh my dear Rocky! It is so good to see you again.”, my mom said coming out of the kitchen to hug and kiss me.
“Hey mom. Good to see you too.”, I said looking slightly embarrassed in front of Sunset.
“Oh, and this must be Sunset er, Glimmer?”, my mom asked Sunset.
“Shimmer. It’s nice to meet you Mrs?”, Sunset asked with a small smile.
“Luster. You can call me Mrs. Luster dear.”, my mother said.
“Or you could just yell, she answers just about the same.”, My dad said sitting on the couch.
“Oh come on Honey, not in front of our son and his girlfriend.”, my mother said to him with disapproval.
“The boy had to deal with years of it then, he can deal with it a little bit more.”, My dad said.
Both Sunset and I sat silently while the two argued for a little bit. Meanwhile, Brim was nowhere to be found. At first I began to think that the Jewish atmosphere was too much for him to handle and that he was spazzing out somewhere. Boy I sure could’ve used his help during this little squabble.
“Anyways, how are you two doing?”, I asked nervously.
“We’re doing great. Your father recently retired so that’s a relief to have him back at the house.”, My mom said trying to look normal.
“Pfft, I’d rather be out working than me being here all the time.”, My dad said crossing his arms.
"Oh hush. You know deep down you love it when I'm around. ", my mother said to him.
"Somewhere deep deep down. I mean deep down. Anyways, do you like Kugal? Because that's all we have, so if you don't like it sorry but not really. ", my dad said to Sunset. 
I wanted to say something about his comment,  but I just didn't have that strength in me to talk back to him like that.
"Well uh, I never had Kugal before. As long as it doesn't have meat, I should be fine. ", Sunset said trying to bounce off the ride comment.
"Oh I believe you will like it dear. Everyone I've had over to try my Kugal always ends up loving it. So, how did you and Rocky meet?", she asked her.
As Sunset began to discuss how she and I met, Brim appeared from behind the couch wearing a fake Jewish beard with his attire. He seemed to be doing fine from what I assumed he was feeling being deep in a Jewish household. 
"You and me need to talk. Preferably in some place where they can't see you talking to me. ", Brim said whispering in my ear.
"Where have you been? You suddenly disappeared from us. I thought you were having a weird seizure somewhere from the energy of the house.", I told him.
"That's not important, all you need to know is that I was watching and you and me need to discuss this. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or something.  Just meet me somewhere. ", Brim said quietly. 
"Rocky! Answer your mother when she asks you something.  I didn't raise you to be disrespectful to women.", my dad yelled at me to get my attention. 
"Huh what? Sorry I was…. In a train of thought.", I asked.
"I asked if you fell in love the moment you saw her or was it gradual?", My mother asked me.
"Uh, yeah. I would say that it was the moment I saw her.", I said grabbing Sunset's hand.
"Well that's very sweet. Our Rocky fell in love.", my mom said.
"Can you excuse me for a minute? I uh, need to use the restroom. ", I said getting up. 
"Oh sure you can. Maybe you can also leave as quick as the day you left Rocky as well.", My dad exclaimed. 
"Honey! Yes dear, it's the same place as always. ", my mother answered. 
"Thanks.", I said getting up to shoot Sunset a look that said that Brim was around before saying to myself, "Good Grief ".
I made my way to the hallway near my old room and towards the bathroom I used for years. Not really a lot of memories here, mainly the ones you'd expect in a bathroom. 
Oh don't disrespect the greatest room for all guys. The bathroom is the best room in all homes. 
Okay, please explain since you wanted to interrupt the story.
It's the first place where everyone jerks off for the first time.
Oh jesus you are sick.
I'm not wrong. Even I did it there about a hundred years ago, and my bathroom was shit compared to modern day bathrooms.
Moving on, I walked into the bathroom to see that no one was in there. At first I thought that Brim meant the other bathroom, but then I heard the door close behind me with the loud click of a lock. Turning around,  I saw Brim tear off the fake beard he had on.
"Oh sweet Lucy I can finally breathe. How do Jews have this and enjoy them. ", Brim said rubbing his face.
"You're asking the wrong person for that. Is this seriously why you wanted to talk to me?", I asked presumptuously.
"Oh no. I just wanted to voice that concern. Anyways, I want to ask you something. ", Brim explained. 
"Okay, shoot.", I responded. 
"Rocky, do you remember the numerous times I've called you a total pussy?", Brim asked me.
"Yes, how could I ever forget something that you've called me since we came up with this idea of a road trip?", I rhetorically asked.
"Okay, well after seeing your situation and what you grew up in, I want to apologize. ", Brim said.
"Great, now you see why I was so against visiting my parents. ", I presumptuously said.
"Let me finish. I want to apologize for not emphasizing it enough that you are a total pussy and that in the future you understand a lot better when I say it.", Brim responded. 
"Are you seriously kidding me right now?", I said with a pissed off tone. 
"I just wanted to get it out there for you to know. You can't just take that for so long. What are you, like 23 years old?", he asked me.
"What do you expect me to do Brim? He is my dad. ", I explained to him. 
"A piece of shit dad. You mean to tell me you are gonna take insults from a retired honey harvester?", he asked me.
"What? Honey harvester?", I asked him confused. 
"Wait, he didn't work with bees?", he asked me.
"No. He was a bank teller. And was terrible at it. ", I told him.
"Oh, damn you with your confusing names. Thought they represent what you do for a job or some shit like that. Guess Honey Comb has a deeper meaning. ", He said realizing his mistake. 
"This doesn't mean anything to what you were talking about before. So what he is a piece of shit? That still doesn't mean that I have to tell him that I think he is a piece of shit. ", I told him.
"What you have is pent up frustration from numerous years. Pent up frustration is like AIDS. You're not meant to keep it to yourself. If you do, you die while the people who know you had no clue and only found out because you had a manifesto on you when you inevitably take that anger on a bus full of kids with an AR-15.", Brim said with a straight face. 
"Oh good grief Brim! That's a bit extreme. ", I exclaimed. 
"I wouldn't be saying it if it wasn't true. If not for your sake, do it for Sunset.  My god if I were you I'd smack him upside his mouth for talking to Sunset like that.",Brim said.
"And say what? 'Hey dad, stop being an asshole to my girlfriend and me. You are father of the fucking year?'", I said hypothetically. 
"Yes. Exactly that. Or maybe a trimmed down version of that.", Brim said.
"Oh Jesus. ", I said with a sigh.
"What's the worst that can happen? Your dad cuts himself off from you like the asshole he is? I see it as a win win.", Brim voiced.
"I'm done with this conversation. ", I said before walking back to the door. 
"It's inevitable Rocky. You either take it out on the source, or the source of future generations in an extremely violent way. ", Brim said standing back.
I walked out of the bathroom to the smell of lunch being made. That smell of Kugel never got old. If I were to say one thing I missed since moving away, it would definitely be my mom's Kugel. Essentially it is a potato and cornbread casserole with a hint of Jew in it. Actually a lot of Jew in it. I mean the connotation of it being a Jewish meal, not a drug.
"Hey. You okay Rocky?", Sunset asked me.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just checking on Brim. He was a little sick from the Jewish environment. ", I said lying. 
"No he didn't. I was just having a meaningful conversation about how much of a puss he is.", Brim said appearing behind her.
"Brim will you please leave it be?", I exclaimed. 
"Not until you get out of the Puss Panties and call your dad an asshole. ", Brim said.
"For the last time, I don't want to talk down to my father. ", I told Brim.
"Actually Rocky, I have to side with Brim on this one.", Sunset told me.
"What?", I exclaimed. 
"You gotta tell him something. While you were gone, he passive aggressively insulted me about me pity dating you. Which I didn't do.", Sunset explained. 
"Are you serious?", I said hearing what he said to her.
"See? It ain't getting better if you hold it in. Let it all out now so you don't take it out on the wrong people. ", Brim encouraged me.
"Alright,  I'll do something if he says something again. Right now let's go eat. I'm a bit starving from Brim chastising me.", I told Sunset. 
We both walked into my parents kitchen to see them waiting for us.
"About time you showed up. We were about to have to use an energy bill to try and reheat the Kugel.", my dad exclaimed at me.
"It's okay dear, don't worry, we would've waited for you.", my mom said to me.
"Yeah thanks.", I said sitting across from my dad at the table. 
"Hope you like potatoes dear. Our Kugel is filled with plenty of that.", My mom warned Sunset. 
"Oh, that shouldn't be a problem. I'm vegetarian so it doesn't matter. ", Sunset said to my mom.
"Ugh, you and you women with diets. Such excessiveness for simply trying to stay thin. How about you work for instead of taking the easy way out. ", dad said taking a bite of Kugel.
"Honey! That's incredibly rude to her. I'm sure she has her reasons for being that way.", my mom said trying to defend her. 
"Oh good grief. ", I whispered to myself. 
"What Rocky? Do you have something to input into the conversation or are you gonna do that stupid phrase of yours that you always do.", My dad said looking at me.
I looked up from the table to see Brim giving me a gun motion. I think he was trying to tell me to pull the trigger or something like that. I finally got the nerve within me to try and say what had been bottled up inside me for years.
"You're an asshole.", I told him softly. 
"What was that you just said to me?", my dad said.
"I'm sure you heard him wrong dear, I think he meant that your Kugel is getting cold.", my mom said trying to stop me.
"No. I said that you are an asshole. ", I said a bit louder, seeing Brim giving me two thumbs up.
"You're calling me an asshole? The one who left without saying any goodbyes at all the day he got a scholarship? Let me tell you something Rocky, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.", He said trying to pin it on me.
At this point, now my anger was coming out.
"Maybe because I had to deal with your god damn shit for eighteen years I left in such a hurry you piece of shit. Maybe because I got tired of the way you treated mom. Or maybe because of how you talk to people like my fucking girlfriend. Maybe that's why I left in such a hurry!", I exclaimed loudly.
The table went silent as my dad stood up and walked over to my seat. At this point I was blinded by rage that I didn't care what he did for calling him what I wanted to call him for years. Finally, he stood next to me with my mom and Sunset looking in horror. Brim on the other hand looked like he was about to record a fight on camera. 
Then, in an unexpected move, I felt my dad wrap his arms around me and hug me tight.
"For years I've waited for you to eventually man up. Today is that day!", my dad said on the verge of tears.
"What the fuck?!", I exclaimed in confusion. 
"I wanted you to do it. To have the balls to actually stand up to your father, unlike mine. Thank you so much Rocky. ", My dad said sounding like a completely different person. 
I was in a mix of emotions in that moment. Mostly anger from him suddenly going to a completely different attitude that I've never seen in him, but also confusion to what the actual fuck just happened. 
"Ah, now let's eat. I always loved your Kugel dear.", my dad said to my mom.
"Thanks Darling. ", My mother responded. 
The rest of the meal was surreally awkward for me and Sunset. Especially for Sunset who just about had no clue as much as I did about the situation. Brim on the other hand was celebrating like he scored the winning touchdown in a football game. He seemed completely oblivious to what happened.
After eating lunch with my parents,  we had to leave and hit the road if we were gonna make it to Canterlot in a few days. As we were getting in the car to leave, my dad yelled out from the porch of the house.
"Hope to see you soon son. I'm very proud of you!", my dad exclaimed. 
"Hope to see you too Sunset. I hope you like us.", my mother exclaimed to her.
We finally pulled off the driveway where we parked and drove off. There was a bit of awkward silence between all of us. More so Sunset than Brim.
"Hey Rocky?", Sunset asked me.
"Yeah?", I responded. 
"Your parents are weird. Like really weird. Not so much your mom, but your dad.", She explained. 
"Yeah, I feel just about the same. Instead of talking about this, can we agree to block this out of the memories of this trip?", I asked her.
"Agreed. ", She said nodding. 
"Aw what? That was fucking awesome. You told your dad off and everything went the way I least expected. Sounds like a flashbulb moment to me.", Brim said expressing his opinions.
"Hey Brim? Next time I'm faced with a situation like that, can you use your time travel spell on me so I don't have to go through the confusion again?", I asked him.
"Hmm, you drove a hard bargain. What's in it for me?", He asked.
"I don't know, just kind of make sure it doesn't happen again. ", I said still trying to process the situation. 
"Okay, deal.", Brim agreed. 
If you are just as confused as they are, don't feel bad. The next chapter is going to alleviate the confusion. It's not gonna be some complicated family problems. Pinky swear. Okay? I know, Jews are confusing. Until of course they are turned to ash. Ha, one last Holocaust joke before the ending. Let's hope we burned this author's reputation down with this chapter.