//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Coping, or How to Move On When Given Up On // by Meteor_Mirage //------------------------------// “What do I have to be proud of you for?" Grampa Gruff asked, "You’re nothing but trouble, you little punk. It’s why your parents gave up on you when they did, and why your little friends are going to do the same.” Unlike during the shouting match he’d had with Trixie, this Gruff never raised his voice beyond a harsh rasp in Gallus’ ear, taunting him as he lay in his bed. Nothing the young griff could do would hush the words that kept popping into his head as he tried to calm himself enough to sleep the afternoon away. And most probably the night as well. Much like he’d done for the past few days after the meeting. The worst part was that Gruff hadn't even said it to him. The most he got from the old griffon was a smoldering scowl and glare, a sight Gallus was all too used to, before storming off the campus in a huff. The poor boy hadn’t even done anything to deserve it this time. As he thanked Trixie for standing up for him, one of the only creatures to accomplish talking back to Gruff and live to tell the tale, he was torn. On one claw he was thankful that a creature he had barely met had went to bat for him in such a way.  On the other, however, all he had left was the words he wanted to say to his former guardian and the assurance that whatever Gruff would say back wouldn't be very nice. “Hey Gally, you alright?” Came a sudden voice from elsewhere in the room.  After obsessing over the voices in his head for so long, Gallus near jumped out of his skin at the sudden realness of this new one. He whipped his head to the side to stare daggers at whoever deemed it fit to interrupt him from his anxious overexamining.  Once he saw a light green stallion staring at him from their shared desk, offering a gentle and passive smile, his expression softened considerably. Gallus sighed softly, rolling over on the bed so that he could look at the pony more comfortably.  It wasn’t hard to forget Sandbar’s presence in their shared room due to how flighty his friend- friends, really- had been in the past few days, but it was certainly exacerbated by how he was silently scribbling in his notebook as he had his own panic attack, but over planning their D&D campaign last-minute instead. Either way, the comfort of sharing this moment with his maybe-boyfriend, they hadn’t really been able to decide the specifics just yet, was enough to settle him slightly. “‘M fine, Sandy.” Gallus muttered, draping himself gently along his bed as he let out a slight groan. “Just thinking about stuff. Nothing too big.” He wasn’t the most convincing as he spoke, but he was satisfied with his lie as he saw Sandbar nod. But then Sandbar stood up from his seat, stretching largely as he did and squeaking as his bones noisily reminded him that he was sitting in that uncomfortable seat for far too long. Gallus was apprehensive as the pony approached his bed and regarded his prone form, but was settled yet again as he saw Sandbar’s loving grin.  “C’mon, scoot over. I need to take a break.” Sandbar said softly, gently prodding Gallus with his hoof. With a shared smile, Gallus relented his place and wiggled over to make room, which Sandbar gleefully took within the moment. As he lay alongside his cuddlebuddy, Sandbar wasted no time in wrapping a hoof around his favorite griffon, gently kissing his beak as he did.  They shared a tender moment, Gallus wrapping an arm around Sandbar and nuzzling gently into the fluff of his neck, sighing happily. Sandbar fought back by wiggling ever so slightly closer to his friend-with-benefits, those benefits being kisses and cuddles, and planting yet another kiss along his cheek. And yet that moment had to end at some point, and that end was signaled as Sandbar grimaced slightly. “Hey so, don’t be mad, but I asked Ms. Trixie about what’s been bothering you the past few days,” he preempted whatever response Gallus was going to show in response by tightening his grip around him somewhat, then continued, “Just ‘cause, you know, I’m worried about you.” To his credit, Gallus didn’t show much of a reaction at all. Beyond a gentle frown and burying his face even deeper into Sandbar’s neck, he offered no fight to change the topic at hand, as much as everything in his body told him to. Maybe it had something to do with Sandbar’s worry, but he managed to stay calm. “It’s fine, Sandbar.” He said softly, pulling back just a bit to look the earth pony in the eyes, cocking a forced grin as he did. “So what if that old bird doesn’t wanna back my enrolment here? I’m just worried about the poor griff who’s gotta replace him.” He chuckled with an amount of bravado that he wasn’t quite sure how he could manage as he didn’t lie, but absolutely wasn’t telling much of a truth. Sandbar’s eyes widened just a bit at that, chuckling along with Gallus as he pulled the griffon right back to where he wanted him: pressed against his chest in a loving snuggle. “Hah, wow. Ms. Trixie didn’t tell me he just plain gave up on you! Damn, what’d you say to make that happen?” Thankfully for Gallus, his position against Sandbar’s chest made it hard to make out the scowl growing on his face. He still managed to find his laugh, however, as he tightly wrapped his arms around Sandbar to try and find any sort of comfort. “Not sure!” He said, failing to hide the sour tone to his voice. “Guess he just got tired of me being so…” Useless. No other words came to mind, as it was all Gallus could think of to describe himself. Sandbar gave his close friend a look as that sentence trailed off, and for a moment there were so many words he wanted to say to comfort, console, and reassure him. And yet when he opened his mouth, he couldn’t bring himself to say any of them. Everything he wanted to say required an amount of emotional closeness that, despite their current physical closeness, he had no idea if they’d reached yet.  So instead he let out a gentle sigh, nuzzling Gallus’ headfeathers.  “Heck, sorry, I didn’t, uh…” Sandbar’s words failed him yet again. He flexed his forelegs briefly, tightening the hold around Gallus as he tried to regain his composure. Before Sandbar could even manage to, however, Gallus just waved a claw to brush away the sentiment. “It’s whatever, Sandbar. I’m not too torn up about it.” He lied. “I just wanna ignore that it ever happened and deal with the repercussions when they come.” “Well, you know, if you still ever wanna talk about it…” Sandbar trailed off softly as he looked hopefully to Gallus. He was about to finish his sentiment in offering a venting location, but he was suddenly interrupted by a loud, obnoxious beeping from the desk he’d just left. Both boys jumped, though Sandbar’s surprise was more well-contained through the fact that he was well aware of what that alarm was set for and why it was going off now. He pulled back from the serene snuggling in order to slam his hoof against the top of the alarm clock, both managing to turn off the incessant beeping and also cracking the screen in the process. His Earth Pony Strength was much more powerful than he intended.  “Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have spent that long on world-building.” Sandbar said as he moved back to look at Gallus with a frown. “So, uh, bad news. I’ve gotta dip to go pick up something from town, so I think we’ve gotta cut this a little short.” While Gallus grimaced in response, he still rolled his eyes as he knew full-well this was going to happen anyway. “I don’t suppose I could tag along so we can go out for lunch too?” He asked, though there was far from any hope in his voice. Sandbar recoiled almost immediately at the suggestion, much to the visible sadness of Gallus. Switching to damage control almost immediately, the stallion cleared his throat. “Well, uh, this is sorta a more solo thing, so I can’t really have you tagging along.” This did nothing to mitigate the damage and, if anything, furthered it as Gallus frowned even harder.  Sandbar let out a small grumble at his friend’s sadness, taken down further as he knew for a fact he was the cause of it. He leaned in to press his lips against Gallus’ forehead, holding him closer for a moment before pulling back once again to look his Griffon deep in the eyes. “I don’t know how long I’ll take, but I should be done by four. Aaaaaand after that we can go have our date.”  Despite the wide grin spreading across his face, Gallus had a need for specificity. “Are we going on a date, or a ‘date’?” He asked, including heavy air-quotes with his claws. This question was all Gallus needed to disarm Sandbar, who reeled back gently as he breathed out a sigh between his teeth. “Alright, a ‘date.” He repeated, copying Gallus’ air-quotes as he did. “I mean, I really wanna spend time with you, but, you know…” “I know, I know.” Gallus sighed. Now it was his turn to feel bad for what he said, or at least implied. He cradled Sandbar gently, moving slightly to run a claw through his soft and luscious green mane. “Listen, I’m cool with going on all these ‘dates’ with you, but, you know, we’re gonna have to be more open about this stuff eventually.” Noting that Sandbar’s expression had taken a turn for the anxious, Gallus then ever so softly nuzzled Sandbar’s face. “Eventually I wanna come out, but tonight I’m cool with a free dinner and a night hanging out with my favorite pony.” Sandbar smiled, but there was at least a small underlying bit of anxiety still hanging around. He almost spoke what it was he was thinking, but almost immediately did Gallus’ words finally click and his face fell into a playful pout. “Heeeey, who said you’d be getting a free dinner?” He asked as Gallus giggled playfully.  Sandbar rolled his eyes, stifling his own laughter as he looked over to the mostly smashed alarm clock yet again. “Uuuugh, alright. I think we’ve been cuddling for a little too long.” He said as he very very tenderly moved Gallus’ arms out from around him and wiggled his way to the edge of the bed. “I’ve really gotta go, but meet me at the park around fourish so we can go on that date.” “Special place?” Gallus asked as he rolled over to nuzzle his beak against Sandbar’s side. “Special place.” Sandbar responded with a gentle grin, then stood up from the bed. He took a moment to stretch yet again, then he leaned down to give Gallus yet another kiss, though this one deeper and more caring. “Love you, Gally.” He said as his smile grew everwider.  Gallus rolled his eyes, though with an equally large smile. “Yeah, whatever. Go have your fun and let me finish my nap. I’ve only got,” he took but a moment to look to his destroyed alarm clock and groaned once he realized what time it was, “Two hours.” He flopped back onto the bed with a huff, and shut his eyes. He didn’t know how Sandbar reacted to that, but knew that once he’d heard the door open and shut he had gone without a word. Gallus opened his eyes with a heavy sigh, now finally alone with his thoughts again.  For a moment he tried to follow through with his plan, holding a pillow to his chest in order to replace the pony he’d shooed away moments earlier, but he realized very quickly that the thoughts he was trying to block out not too long ago were already creeping back in.  He managed to last about a full minute of loud silence before throwing himself out of his bed, shaking his head as he looked towards the door. He wasn’t nearly tired enough to force himself to sleep, and any attempts at taking one of his usual naps were going to be foiled entirely by his own anxieties.  Gallus knew for a fact that he needed a distraction, but as his favorite distraction left to do whatever he needed to and his other friends AWOL, he was left with no choice but to take extreme measures. He needed a Pinkie.