//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: Muchitsujo no Konoha // by AkumaKami64 //------------------------------// "Welcome to Training Ground Forty-Four, affectionately called the Forest of Death," Minato introduced as they stood before the massive training grounds. Discord whistled as he stood next to the Hokage and tipped down his black shades. He was also wearing an orange business suit for some reason. "I can only imagine the problem with property value around here," he mused, looking at Minato in expertly feigned seriousness. "What's the school district like?" "..." Minato stared for a moment with a sweat-drop. "You're fucking with me, are you, Muchitsujo-Sama?" "Yes, but now I'm going to be curious about what ninja school is like," Discord admitted curiously. "But, seriously, what's the catch?" "If you want it, no catch. Though, if you don't mind, we'd still like to use it for survival training and exams," Minato explained diplomatically. He became very concerned when Discord grinned toothily. "Please do not sabotage those events, Kami-Sama." "Oh, I won't. Just throw a few curve-balls, maybe pick on someone I find interesting," Discord assured with a chuckle. "Speaking of which, here comes Tomato and Sunshine." "Oi!" Kushina yelled as she approached the duo, the baby Naruto giggling in her arms. "Saved us or not, recovering from childbirth is the only reason I won't try to smack you for that, Muchi-Dono," Kushina warned with a balled fist. "I welcome the event," Discord countered smoothly as his suit dissolved into a bunch of spiders that flew off in the breeze, Minato chuckling awkwardly at the exchange while Naruto stared with wide eyed wonder. "And what do you mean recover? I thought I fixed you up?" he questioned with a raised brow. Kushina calmed down with a smile at that. "Yes, but even with that miracle, my body and chakra coil needs to adjust to not only NOT having the Kyuubi in me anymore, but also little Naru-Chan here," she remarked, the newborn cooing at the mention of his name. "Wait, you gave birth the same night?" Discord asked, sounding legitimately impressed, then stroking his beard. "Well, I did only just restore you back to before furball got taken from you. I would have done a bit more if I had been informed how new the newborn was. If you want, I could put some of my mag-er, chakra in you," Discord offered with a grin. The married couple blinked owlishly at the god's offer before sharing a look. "Is he hitting on me/you?" they both asked in sync. "What?" Discord asked with a scrunched brow. "Why wou- oh, no! I'm not a homewrecker. Well, not to you two, at least," he amended dismissively. "I was just offering to ease your system into not having a jumbo stash of Chakra to work around," he explained. "With all due respect, Muchi-Dono, I've had a mass of hatred enriched chakra near my womb and that, at minimum, gave Naru-Chan whisker marks," she pointed out with a deadpan. "I'm not sure I want to know what a GOD's chakra would do to them." "Mildly offended, but I do see your point," Discord accepted with an eye roll. He was about to continue, but stopped as he saw Kushina partially opening the top of her kimono to breastfeed Naruto. Minato, previously smiling at the scene, caught the draconequus staring at his wife and son again. While most would find this a bit rude, Minato noticed that Discord's eyes carried a look of actual surprise and curiosity in them. "Is...something the matter, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Minato asked carefully. "Oh, no, just noting a weird contradictions between worlds," Discord stated idly as he snapped his talons. The parents and child suddenly found themselves sitting at desks in a classroom, with young Naruto in a highchair between them, looking confused, but mercifully not about to cry. They both blinked as Discord stood up at a blackboard, holding a ruler. "See, back in my old world," Discord started, tapping the instrument where the equestrian words for "First World" were written. While Kushina and Minato didn't know that for sure, they deduced as much from the neighboring world, Dainnisekai: Second World. "Minus fashion and special events, going nude was actually the norm, but it was custom to breastfeed in private," he elaborated, the words below First World being "Nude=Private Feeding?" before he moved to the other column. "Yet, at least in this village, it seems that the reverse is true," he mused as the words "Modest=Public Feeding?" appeared. "Okay, I'll admit ,that is...weird," Kushina agreed, clearly confused by a world that went au naturel but mostly shunned public breastfeeding. Then again, she knew humans could be very strange and contradictory, so maybe this was just some strange cultural thing. "Well ,enough of that," Discord decided, pulling a string that made the literal entire setting roll up like a window blind. Kushina and Minato instinctively jumped out of their chairs, avoiding being tumbling over as they landed back where they had been, Naruto still in his highchair. He looked around in surprise at the change in environment. If he was a bit older, he might have wondered if he dozed off while his mother or someone was carrying him. Now, however, his face began to scrunch up into a tense, nasty look. "Oh, right, I interrupted his snack," Discord realized as the mother quickly retrieved the child to continue the feeding. If it hadn't been Discord's doing, she would have been more freaked out by the highchair suddenly falling to pieces now that it lacked a passenger. "You know, you ningen seem to be coping with me pretty well," Discord mused with a head tilt. "Huh? What do you mean, Kami-Sama?" Minato asked in surprise. "Nothing," Discord answered with a shrug. "So, this "Fire-Shadow", this Hokage thing? Am I understanding it right that you rule over just this village, Mina-Kun?" Discord questioned, stroking his beard. "More or less, yes," Minato answered awkwardly. "I'm not quite sure how to explain it in a brief-." "Kage is a title granted to a Shinobi village leader in one of the five great countries," Kushina explained with a smug smile. "Shinobi villages are technically military operations that officially serve the Daimyo. However, we are highly autonomous from the rest of the country in terms of governance. This is largely due to our wide spread use and mastery of using chakra to perform jutsus, and neither side wanting a conflict between our superior firepower and their superior numbers. The village also works somewhat like a mercenary agency, performs tasks for varying amounts of money, so long as they don't conflict with the home country's direct interests or safety. In function, the village is essentially a military dictatorship, with each Kage normally choosing their own successors," she paused to breath, Naruto continuing to feed from her milk-filled breasts. "Does that help?" she asked with a smile. The two males stared at her in surprise for half a moment before Discord summarized his thoughts. "So, she's the smart one?" "Not normally, no," Minato answered, raising a brow at his wife. In turn, Kushina turned sheepish. "Well, as you know, the higher ups already know about him," she reminded, pointing to an amused Discord. "So, Shikaku maaaay have somehow deduced that our new Kami here isn't exactly native to our world and might have drilled that simplified summary into my head to make sure you didn't accidentally start an international incident, Muchi-Sama," she elaborated as she finished feeding her baby and replaced her top. "Why, I never!" Discord declared, huffing with his arms crossed. "As if I'd do such a thing unintentionally." "That reassures no one, Kami-Sama," Minato said with a sigh. "We also need to figure out how to...introduce you to the village." "Not going to try and keep me a secret, Mina-Kun?" Discord said teasingly as he flew behind the Hokage. "I thought that's what you ninja types were all about. What's your saying? Look between the between?" Minato paused as he thought about that question. "While you're wrong, that does still fit," he acknowledged before looking at the god with complete seriousness. "But I know you wouldn't keep yourself a secret even if I asked, would you?" "Guilty!" Discord agreed with a massive grin, suddenly wearing a orange prison jumpsuit, something that caused Naruto to giggle in his mother's arms. "Okay, I think he just likes orange or something," Discord commented blandly as he ripped the suit off to reveal his naked glory once more. "Even if you had been willing, I couldn't keep it a secret. Too many people are already asking about how bubblegum stopped the Kyuubi," Minato pointed out as Kushina snickered. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy remembering that for years," the redhead declared with a hint of sadism. "I'm guessing he wasn't a great roommate," Discord mused idly, chuckling at Kushina's glare of an answer. "That said, while I obvious detest a script, I am willing to...keep to a theme, shall we say," Discord offered coyly to the humans. "A theme?" Minato asked curiously. "Yes, well, given that I've commandeered your war deterrent, I understand you might want...something to tell your enemies that it's not open season on the Leaves," Discord answered knowingly, before looking thoughtful. "Or would you rather I be more comforting to those little villagers of yours?" The parents looked to one another before Kushina cocked her head at the draconequus. "Can you do both?" "Oh, Kushi-Chan, now who's flirting?" Discord countered, dancing a hair comb between the digits of his lion paw. "I'll take that as a yes," Minato accepted with a shrug before looking wary. "Umm, Kami-Sama? May I ask a question that may sound...offensive?" Discord rolled his eyes at that. "Minato, let me be blunt: the odds of you unintentionally offending me are smaller than the fuse on a sun princess," Discord assured, waving him on. "Well, I was thinking about my speech to introduce you, so is there...a word for what you, or rather, your form is?" Minato asked, eyeing the mismatched body for effect. Discord looked pleasantly surprised by that question. "Hmm, there was one word the locals used. While it was a bit of a mouthful in my old world's tongue, it rolls off a bit better in Nihongo. I believe it would be, Ryoma?" Discord supplied with a grin. At their silence, he blinked, turning to look at them in confusion. The ningen seemed a bit too shocked. "What, what'd I say?" They didn't answer as their eyes trailed over his body carefully. "Long neck and wings at the side," Minato pointed out. "Can, technically, tread on water without sinking," Kushina mused, observing the gap between Discord and the ground. "Definitely flies." "Depending on what you're counting, at least five different main colors," Minato added in as he thought back to everything he knew this god could do. "Shrink, grow, turn invisible?" "Yes, yes, I can do all of those things," Discord interrupted, looking between them oddly. "Seriously, what's got you two so wigged out? Wait, you have legends about me already, don't you?" he asked, a bit annoyed. "Am I now an evil omen or something?" "Maybe?" Kushina answered uncertainly. "Ryoma can be a sign of great fortune or the end of an era, buuuuut they always appear for the same reason." "And what would that be?" Discord inquired, less peeved and more curious now. "The presence or coming of a great leader," Minato answered, sending an odd look to his wife. Or, rather, their baby in her arms. Discord raised a brow as he processed that. An omen of great change, be it good or bad. He liked that, honestly, but his arrival signaling a great leader? That was the thought that made him remember the Alicorns. "Okay, I actually can't completely argue against that," Discord recalled with a face palm before literally pulling his face off. "Ahhh!" Naruto cried in surprise at the rather disturbing, to him, display. "Whoops!" Discord declared, slapping his face back on as Kushina tried to calm and sooth her son. "Well, can't blame the kid. The Slenderman thing messes with a lot of people," Discord said sheepishly as Kushina gave him a dirty look for scaring her child. "I guess I just lost babysitting privileges, eh?" The mother and father of Naruto looked at each other in wide eyed surprise, not sure if he was serious or if they wanted him to be. "Still," Minato redirected with a cough. "I know I summoned you by accident, Muchitsujo-Sama, but maybe there was a reason you ended up in our world," he suggested with a smile. "Mina-Kun, I'm Chaos. I take a brick to destiny," Discord retorted with a snort. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of redecorating to do." The family watched as Discord flew off into the Forest of Death without a care in the world, the sounds of elephant trumpets playing kazoo echoing in his wake. "Minato-kun, I'm not interested in him, but you know some of the women in the village are going to be interested in...repaying him, right? Especially if he takes on human form," Kushina pointed out with a playful smirk. Minato gave her an annoyed look. "Thank you, Dear, for that lovely image of divine bestiality into my head." Timeskip It had been two days since the Kyuubi Attack. Two days of grief and confusion as they numbered the dead and tallied the damages. Even with the aid of the Third Hokage pushing the tailed beast out of the village, the damages to the village were heavy and evident, with the great gap in their famous walls as a constant reminder of the recent tragedy. Of course, many questions were left unanswered. There were tales floating around of the Kyuubi simply disappearing...after being covered in bubblegum, apparently. Civilians and shinobi alike were growing impatient for answers, for a straight story that could put their minds at ease, for themselves and for their families. Thus, a large crowd had gathered before the Hokage Tower, for word had been spread that there would be an announcement today, hopefully explaining everything. And as the sun hung high behind cloudy skies, Minato stood on the balcony, overlooking his village. "People of Konoha! I know that you have endured much in the past few days: The near destruction of our village by a tailed beat, the lose of cherished homes and loved ones taken from us too soon," he began, pausing to allow a respectful silence fall over the crowd. "But you already know this. You have lived it. I have brought you here to explain all that I can. When I arrived to defend the village, I fully intended to give my life to save my home, our home! And in doing so, I would have gave my soul to the Shinigami," he explained, as murmurs and gasps rang over the villagers and even the shinobi. Minato smiled a benevolent, humble smile now as he prepared to lighten the mood. "But as I stand before you, that is obviously not how events unfolded. I do not know if it was a happy accident or the intervention of fate, but...a different god answered my call." Many a ninja felt the hairs on the back of their necks stand at attention as those ominous words registered, just as lighting leapt across the sky. Or, rather, what they thought was lightning. The bolt of electricity shot towards the Hokage Tower, but the yellow flash stood unflinchingly as it neared. It zipped and curved around the top of the building, making several cry out in alarm as the strike refused to banish or dissipate. The head of the bolt curved up before looking down at the Hokage and the crowd below him. Then, just as suddenly, a pair of mismatched wings "broke" through the electricity, as if it were a cocoon or snake skin. as the apparent shell cracked, the being within shook itself free, the lightning floating up and dissipating into specks of light. "My friends and comrades, allow me to introduce the one who defeated the Kyuubi, yes, with bubblegum: Muchitsujo-Sama the Ryoma, the Kami of Chaos!" Minato introduced proudly as they all laid eyes upon the great, chimeric beast that floated above them in a form that was serpentine and at least forty feet long. Naturally, those of the leaf were too stunned to react to such an entrance for this creature. And Discord being Discord, decided to seize the moment. "Greetings, my little ningen!" he declared in a voice that reached them all yet did not boom, giving a wide and snaggletooth grin. "I am "Discord" or Muchitsujo in your tongue. I have come to you by chance, but in exchange for granting the wish of your leader, he has agreed that I may live amongst this village. I am new to your world and your kind is new to me, so I shall state this once: Nothing of my power shall harm you unless I desire it to," Discord spoke to them all. The silence continued to stretch on until someone became foolish or brave enough to ask the most important question to everyone: "How did you defeat the Kyuubi with bubblegum?!" Everyone turned in the direction of the villager that called out the inquiry, Discord just smirking as he lifted up his talons. "Like this," he answered with a snap as several pops rang out around the crowd. "OW!" "WHAT THE HELL!?" "WHY IS THIS EVEN IN MY PANTS?!" Various members of the crowd had found that random objects on them had turned into bubblegum and promptly exploded: A Kunoichi's kunai pouch, a Jonin's vest, the questioning villager's underwear, etc. Many in the crowd couldn't stop laughing even as Discord let out a chuckle, slowly drawing attention back to himself as he shrank back down to his normal size and landed by a bemused Yondaime. Ignoring the blonde next to him, the mismatched entity leaned over the rails as he slurped chocolate milk through a bendy straw that was strangely shaped like one of the Kyuubi's tails. "Long story short, ningens: I'm moving in and bunking with you lot. But while I feel I've already paid my share of rent dealing with the furball, I've decided to put my best hoof forward in making this a wonderful relationship. So, here's my security deposit," Discord announced as he snapped his fingers again, a light briefly washing over the entire village. Most winced or squinted, but once it passed, the were merely looking around in uncertainty as they found nothing to indicate a change. "I think you need to spell it out for them, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato whispered to the chaos god. "Aww, do I have to, Mina-Kun? I wanted them to be surprised," Discord complained, pouting with his arms crossed. He obviously didn't care that the whole village could hear him still as the Hokage gave him a hopeful look. "Oh fine. I undid the damages to all the buildings!" he explained with a huff. Murmurs of disbelief and surprise ran through the crowd as several Shinobi and Kunoichi leapt to the tallest buildings in the areas, sans the towers. "He's right! The village! It's as good as new!" "Even the wall is fixed!" "And it's orange!" Minato raised an eyebrow at Discord, who shrugged. "Eh, I figured you mortals would use as a memorial or something," he waved off before his ears perked up at a sound he wasn't really used to. "Muchitsujo! Muchitsujo! Muchitsujo!" Minato was almost taken back by how Discord looked so unexpected to hear the praise and cheering roaring from the crowd, thankful to their supposedly divine savior saving their lives and returning their homes. It was starting to become clear that this being wasn't used to positive reactions to his antics. He wasn't sure if that was sad or worrying. Still, that aside. "Well, between that and your entrance, I'd say you pulled off the intimidating-comfort angle rather well, Kami-Sama," he said in congratulations. "Huh?" Discord asked as he snapped out of his stupor. "Oh, the entrance wasn't for intimidation, that was just for presentation," Discord countered with a grin. Minato blinked, feeling like he was missing something. "Then what was the intimidation aspect?" he questioned. "You know all those rival villages your Konoha has?" Discord redirected with a coy look. "Yeeeeees?" Minato asked warily. "I moved all their spies five feet from where they were before."