//------------------------------// // Wednesday, 6/27/18 // Story: The New... Pony? // by thatoneguyisbestpony //------------------------------// As I was tooling along I-240 on the way into work, I was passed by a pony on a motorcycle. I hadn’t actually seen Dusty ride it yet and it was a bizarre, but graceful, sight. Her mane and tail were flowing in the wind and she had her wings stretched forward, resting over her hooves on the handlebars. I ended up behind her at the stoplight after our exit and watched as she started flapping her wings when she stopped the bike. It took me a minute to realize that she was doing so for balance, since her legs were too short to reach the ground. I suppose that’s why she had a small, lightweight motorcycle. When we got to the jobsite, I parked beside her, got out, and asked, “How in the hell do you manage to ride that? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t designed with ponies in mind.” Dusty reached a wingtip into a small pouch that was ziptied to the frame and pulled out a broad-toothed comb and began running it through her tail. “I had it customized. There’s a company that modifies human vehicles so that ponies can use them. The grips are shaped so that I can use them with hooves and they installed a different shift lever because it’s easier to press forward and backward than up and down.” She finished with her tail and moved to her mane. “I have to use my wings for the clutch and brake levers though. It’s a weird position to be in and it took a couple weeks to get used to it.” I eyed her wings as she turned to put her comb away and grab her lunchbox. “But you can fly; why even bother with the bike?” She leveled a deadpan stare at me. “You can walk; why do you bother with the truck?” “Oh. Yeah, that was a stupid question.” I hadn’t really considered that flying could be a boring, mundane chore if you had to do it every day, especially if it takes a lot of effort. We walked over to the connex where Robbie was unlocking the door. “There are other reasons, too,” Dusty admitted. “The BAE told me that there was a five mile no fly zone around Tinker, so I couldn’t fly in if I wanted to. Besides, motorcycles are fun. Flying is a little more exciting, but you have to put in the effort and the really fun stuff wears you out quickly.” I nodded, “Makes sense.” “Does ‘bae’ mean something other than boyfriend or girlfriend in, what’s it called, ponyland?” Robbie asked. Dusty cocked her head to the side a bit, “Is that what it means? That explains a couple of odd looks I’ve gotten when I mentioned it before.” She shook her head, “No, it doesn’t mean anything at all in Equestria. It’s a department in your government, the Bureau for Acclimating Equestrians. It recently formed to help ponies fit in to your world more smoothly. They helped me get in touch with the union and handled some of the paperwork to get my driver’s license.” She followed Robbie into the connex. “Oh, so they’re the ones who saddled us with this freak.” Daniel muttered from behind me. I was between him and Dusty and even though I barely caught it, one of her ears swiveled towards him. I hoped she hadn’t heard him clearly enough to make it out. By the way she continued talking to Robbie, I don’t think she did. I turned around, stepped all up into Daniel’s personal space, and whispered, “Dude, chill the fuck out. It’s way too damned early to have to listen to your shit.” “It’s the truth,” Daniel growled. “They’re definitely not normal, so ‘freak’ is pretty accurate.” “I said I don’t want to hear it. Go bitch about it online or something.” I turned and walked into Robbie’s office. Daniel stayed outside. “…in the safety meeting today,” Robbie said. “Sorry, had to go grab something. What were you saying about the safety meeting?” I asked. I couldn’t interpret the look Dusty was giving me. “Just that I would see what I can do to get an exception for Dusty to fly and skip tying off.” He poked her in the wing, “Once we get to the seventy-eight inch round duct, these things are gonna be useful.” “And I’m not useful now? That’s racist.” He lightly punched her shoulder. “Shut up! You know what I mean.” “Maybe you should ask the BAE if they can contact someone from OSHA for you,” I suggested. “They should be able to swing a lot more weight than the GC’s safety guy.” “Good idea; I’ll call them at break time.” *** “Hi, my name is Dust Devil. I wanted to know if you could help me contact someone from OSHA…” Dusty was apparently one of those people (or ponies, I need a more inclusive word) who pace when they talk on the phone, except she paced in the air. I turned to Mike who was watching her fly back and forth. “So, did you two go on a date last night?” “No, I had other plans already and I can’t tonight because I have to go to class.” He pulled out his phone and fiddled with it for a bit. “I was thinking about taking her to a movie tomorrow night. The Jurassic World sequel came out last week and I don’t think that’d be a bad introduction to our world’s movies. What do you think?” “I hear it isn’t great, but if she doesn’t have anything else to compare it to, the CGI will probably make up for a weak plot,” I answered as I looked back up at Dusty. Or, at least, looked where she had been. “That was pretty much my reas…aargh!” Mike fell backwards with a scream as she dropped to the ground right in front of him. Once she managed to stop laughing, Dusty offered him a hoof and pulled him back up. “What’d the BAE say?” I asked through continued snickers. “I ended up talking to their law specialist, Due Diligence. I told him all my issues with harnesses and he agreed that pegasi should be excluded from those regulations since falling isn’t much of a problem for us. He’s going to find out who I need to talk to in OSHA and give me their email address.” She glanced at her phone and sighed. “And I wasted all my break time on the phone. I suppose we need to get back to work.”