//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 - If you really wanna know // Story: Trixie's Threeway Trouble // by crowscrowcrow //------------------------------// ~Earlier this evening, before Trixie returned to the cottage.~ “Don’t you have like, a million billion birds already?” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously as she flew away from the window and poked the half constructed new birdhouse with a hoof. “Why do you need more?” Fluttershy couldn’t deny that. She had so many of her feathered, furry, and scaly friends already. And yet, despite all of them, today had been strangely lonely. Enough so that she’d busied herself with this little project just to have something to do. Luckily, Rainbow Dash stopping by had made that lonely feeling clear right up. “Oh, there are so many adorable little animals coming and going. I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of them.” Fluttershy gingerly placed the roof on top, holding it in place for Dash to drive the nails in. A task she was perfectly capable of performing herself, but this kept Dash with her a little longer. “I, uhm, I also think… it’s a nice way to spend time...”  With you. Say it! Why couldn’t she just say it? There were so few opportunities now. Even on the rare occasion Rainbow Dash managed to get a moment away from her job and stopped by, they hadn’t been alone like this in weeks.  It just so happened that Trixie wasn’t here, yet. Apparently Trixie had pulled a disappearing act in Ponyville shortly after bringing Twilight to the weather station. Dash said she wasn’t sure where Trixie had gone. It wasn’t much trouble to convince her that, much like the wild animals that flocked to the cottage, Trixie would eventually return here too. Probably around dinner time. It was easier to wait than it was to scour the town. It was a happy coincidence that it just so happened to get her some time alone with Rainbow Dash. “Oh, hey. I heard you told Trixie you threw out her cloak?” Rainbow Dash asked while she rummaged through the toolkit for the hammer and nails, balancing each between her primary feathers with ease. That kind of thing just came natural to her.  “Y-yes… She was so, uhm… upset. I hope she comes back soon.” “Yeah, I’m sorry you had to lie.” She gave a weak smile. “Me too.”  It wasn’t lying about the cloak that weighed on her, though. If anything it was a little ray of hope. Maybe if Trixie thought she’d burned that cloak, that would be enough for Trixie to ‘break up’ with her. That would be the easiest way out of this hole she’d dug herself into. “I guess we better tell her the truth soon.” Rainbow Dash looked toward the door for a moment, undoubtedly wondering about Trixie. That’s why Dash was here after all, to see Trixie. Again. It was never to come see her anymore. She just happened to be here too. Dash didn’t say as much, but the way she kept looking around it was obvious. “It would be pretty bad if she went out and replaced her clothes on her own… you don’t think that’s why she’s late, do you?” What if she told Rainbow Dash, right now? She’d understand it was an accident, wouldn’t she? She’d help her. She always did. It would be easy for Rainbow Dash to explain the misunderstanding and how ‘silly shy Fluttershy’ was too much of a baby to make a fuss. But, what if Rainbow Dash would think less of her?  “Oh, uhm… Maybe?” She watched Rainbow Dash fumble with the hammer, trying to get a good angle between her teeth. “If Trixie went to Carousel Boutique, do you think Rarity would cover for us? Oh dear…” Lying to Trixie had somehow made sense to her at the time. She thought Trixie would spend a little less time with Rainbow Dash if she just let the misunderstanding happen. Looking back on it now, she could barely believe she’d been so thoughtless. She probably deserved to have it backfire the way it did. Rainbow Dash was so busy the past weeks that her only free time was spent with Trixie. At least it had helped Fluttershy get her priorities straight. What she’d really wanted wasn’t for Trixie to spend less time with Rainbow Dash, but to spend more with Rainbow herself.  As much as she told herself it was unfair to blame anypony, she felt a little spark of resentment towards Trixie for ending up with Rainbow Dash. She thought less Trixie meant more her, but it didn’t turn out that way at all, which made this moment they had together all the more precious.  How long did she have Rainbow Dash all to herself? A few minutes, an hour? How long till Trixie burst through the door and nonchalantly reclaimed her?  Was there any way to stop that from happening though? Did she really want to confess and tell Rainbow Dash what an awful pony she really was? Maybe she’d lose even moments like this.  “You’re probably right. Okay, hold it steady.” Dash warned her, before bringing the hammer down.  Having been roughly pulled from her spiral of self doubt, Fluttershy flinched and closed her eyes for the first swing. The impact sent a little tremor through her hooves. After the first couple of hits, she forced herself to open her eyes again. The quick swings of the hammer were frighteningly close, but it was worth it. As usual, Rainbow Dash was so absorbed in her task that she never looked up, giving Fluttershy a chance to watch her up close without too much risk of being caught staring.  Rainbow Dash was so vibrant and strong. Every swing created a little rainbow trail and the few drops of rain in her mane went flying, sparkling in the light of the setting sun. Watching her was as though she was seeing the sun break through her own cloudy mood.  Fluttershy could watch her forever.  Of course, to Rainbow Dash, everything, even helping a friend, was a race of some kind. It felt like she’d barely gotten started and already all the nails vanished into the wood like a colony of frightened Meerkats.  “Hah, I think that’s a new personal best! Aw yeah, who’s awesome?!” Dash proclaimed proudly as she spun off the ground into the air, flaring her wings to either side in a blur of beguiling motion. “Oh, y-yes. I wasn’t counting, but it felt like your best time.” She went to flash her biggest smile, but found she’d already been unknowingly wearing it while watching her. A warmth spread through her cheeks. “D-do you, uhm, think you could…?” She glanced up to the ceiling beam. She wasn’t going to tell her. Maybe pretending to be in a relationship like this wouldn’t be so bad if they just had some more moments like these. From what she was told, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t be as busy anymore, thanks to Twilight. Maybe things were looking up?  “Oh, yeah sure!” Dash zipped up the ceiling and pressed the birdhouse against it, then glanced down to her for approval. “Around here?” Fluttershy at least was looking up. “If it isn’t too much trouble, could you straighten it a little? A-and maybe to the left, if that’s okay with you.” She didn’t truly care, all that mattered was to give Dash something distracting to do while she had the chance to admire her a little more.  “Alright. Come on, you little… ” Rainbow Dash seemed to be doing her best to straighten the little structure, twisting it back and forth. ”Oh! Actually, I had something I wanted to ask you about.” “O-oh?” She thanked her lucky stars Rainbow Dash hadn’t turned around. “What is it? I’d be happy to help.”  “Twilight mentioned it’s been like a month and change since Trixie showed up. Which got me thinking… Do you think I should get her something? Since, ya know, we’ve known each other a month?” “Y-you mean an... anniversary present?” She was fairly sure those were a yearly thing, but Dash wasn’t the most patient pony. “For one month?” “Yeah. I’m not really sure if I should, but I thought it would be a great chance to give Trixie her hat and cloak back. Rarity did a great job with them and suggested we should find an occasion.” She held the birdhouse in place with one hoof while the other scratched at her chin. “Although.. Now that I say it out loud ‘give back’ does not sound like much of a gift, does it? Maybe I should find her something else. Anyway, what do you think?” “W-well… I’ve heard some ponies do that but… I think you usually start counting from the day you… uhm… y-you know… s-start the relationship officially? S-so… it’s only been two weeks and… uhm...” She kind of thought they’d give the costume back together. If they were going to do gifts for a one month anniversary, then wouldn’t that mean the very next day she would be expected to have a gift too? Would she have to find something else? Something that competed with that? It wasn’t really fair to her. Maybe, this was a good opportunity? She could get a paltry gift in comparison and maybe Trixie would be insulted enough to break off the relationship?  Still, it was a little mean of Rainbow Dash to ask for both the cloak and hat and leave it to her to figure something else out.  After Trixie had gotten so angry, she had been looking forward to returning the cloak to her. All of a sudden, it clicked. “M-maybe I should… get her something too?” she offered as nonchalantly as she could manage while her hooves dug into the couch cushions. “Maybe I could give her the cloak?”  “Uhh, nah. That would probably be weird.” Dash called back without a thought as she came back down and started picking out a couple nails to bring back up. “I’m pretty sure it’s just a thing for couples, ya know?” She doesn’t know! Wide-eyed, she stared up at Rainbow Dash, carrying on her task utterly oblivious while the terrible realization set in. Why did Rainbow Dash not know? Trixie told her they were ‘dating’. She was there. Maybe not in as many words, but... “Y-yes, of course. Uhm...” She faltered. Had Rainbow Dash misunderstood that badly? That didn’t make any sense. Although, she did tend to just hear what she wanted sometimes.  “Can.. can you come, uhm, down here. If that’s okay?” “I guess?” Rainbow Dash peeled away from the ceiling with a graceful loop that really shouldn’t be as distracting as it was, landing near the table to put the birdhouse down. “Did you want it somewhere else?” Her breathing was so shallow, no matter how much she tried to take deep breaths. That wasn’t good. She had to calm down, but how was she supposed to while dealing with this? If Rainbow Dash didn’t know, then didn’t that mean Trixie was cheating on her? Worse than that, didn’t that mean… Trixie was cheating on Dash with her? She felt so very cold all of a sudden. “H-how well do you… know Trixie?” She asked, painfully aware of her own hypocrisy.   “Pretty well. Uh, I guess?” Rainbow Dash seemed to lose some confidence mid sentence. “I mean, I know what stuff she likes and dislikes, I think… I guess I don’t really know where she’s from or anything. That stuff didn’t really come up yet... Why, did you have a suggestion?” The right thing to do would be to tell Rainbow Dash, wouldn’t it? She’d been serious about making their relationship work. She deserved to know right now. It was only right. Of course, if she figured this out, then surely so had Trixie? Why hadn't she said anything? Was she lying to them both? If she said something now, Rainbow Dash would definitely blow up and do something rash. Trixie wouldn’t get any chance to explain.  It was just a happy coincidence that it happened to get her what she wanted, wasn’t it? Everything would go back to normal. But… Did she really want to irrevocably do this? The choice was hers now, for sure. If she said something it would be all on her. So much pressure. It was scary to think something she did could have such big effects.  It was what she wanted, but was she really this selfish? “T-Trixie is... ”  “Yeah?”  “...Prideful.” she sighed more so than said, feeling herself slip down the familiar path of least resistance. Like a helpful coward. “If you get her an anniversary gift… Uhm… more so if that gift was really special to her… I-its a good idea, but… Trixie can’t afford anything even half as lavish, so...” She let the sentence trail off.  “So,” Rainbow Dash picked up. “Trixie’ll feel like I showed her up?” “W-well… s-she’d probably feel at least inadequate to, uhm… be… with you?” The more she spoke, the more she silently cursed herself. If only she could have just kept quiet and let this play out.  There was at least one thing she found herself to have in common with Trixie.  “Woah, I hadn’t even thought about that!” Rainbow Dash smacked herself in the forehead. “Thanks, Fluttershy!” She too was her own worst enemy. Fluttershy had only just settled back into the couch when she heard the back door creak open in the middle of the night. Her whole body froze instantly. She knew it was almost certainly Trixie. Or rather, she hoped it was. Surely, that was all. There wasn’t any rational need for her to stiffen up and hold her breath, as though holding very still would make her invisible while she waited a seeming eternal two seconds, ears perked. The familiar sound of Trixie’s hoofsteps had her breathe a small sigh of relief as she sunk back into the couch. Now that the initial scare was over, she just felt silly for worrying like that. For so long the thought of hearing that sound late at night had been just a terrifying thought, but nopony came all the way out here, especially not at night. Wait, how had she been sitting when Trixie left? On the right side of the couch, leaning against the armrest? She scrambled to get into position just in time as she heard Trixie trotting closer. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has returned!” Trixie, her loud but endearing intruder, announced as she stepped back into the living room. Trixie looked surprised to see her for some reason. “Oh! Did you wait here all this time? That’s adorable. What a good girl.” “W-what? I...” Fluttershy’s speech faltered as she felt her cheeks heat up. Trixie thought she’d stayed put like a ‘good girl’ just waiting for her to return? Leaps of logic were Trixie’s strong suit, but this would only make any sense if… she was found in the exact same position as if she hadn’t done anything in between… like a sensible pony would have if she’d actually been on her own instead of eavesdropping upstairs.  She was so warm suddenly. The bookcase was less than two steps away. It would have made sense to grab something and at least pretend to have been reading. Why was she so bad at acting under pressure? It was obvious enough if she just thought about it. How easy would it have been to just take a book on her way to the couch. Maybe she could make up some other excuse? What could she even say that would be believable? Especially now that she’d been silent for who knows how long. A gentle ruffling of her mane pulled her out of what had moments before felt like an inescapable spiral. Looking up, she saw Trixie giving her a smile, her hoof lingering too briefly before it pulled back.  “You truly must be tired if you’re zoning out on Trixie like that,” Trixie commented while giving her a look with far more concern than she deserved. “Trixie’s sorry to keep you waiting so long. Was there something you wanted?” “Uhm...” This seemed like a good opportunity, but what was she going to say? Should she tell her how listening to them made her feel? It felt so shameful to admit to spying on them. What was she even expecting Trixie to do about it? Or maybe she could ask Trixie why Rainbow Dash didn't seem to know about the two of them? “Mhm, okay. You think on that. Meanwhile, Trixie’s going to make tea and a snack before bed, do you want some too?”  Goodness, had she taken too long again? Maybe this was for the best, a little bit of time might just be what she needed. But first there was the question to answer. She’d been too preoccupied all evening to pay any attention but now that Trixie made the offer it did sound good.  Still...Trixie was just being polite, wasn’t she? It wouldn’t be right to inconvenience her with a request. Unless she wasn’t, then it would be rude to refuse! Maybe, maybe she should try to compromise? She could always just ask for half of what was offered. Yes, she wasn’t hungry anyway. Wait, then how was Trixie still hungry after all those muffins she brought?  Oh, she recognized this now. This was one of the benevolent tricks Trixie liked to play on her. It wasn’t the first time. Trixie would make an offer that was too big, or claim she was getting something anyway when really she was just trying to put her at ease and get her more comfortable with asking for something. “Oh, uhm, just tea for me, please,” she asked with a smile. Even knowing the trick, it curiously still worked. Maybe it was just knowing that Trixie was trying to be considerate of her.  Trixie gave a nod, then vanished into the kitchen while making some very confident declarations toward her expertise at dazzling taste buds. Once Trixie was out of sight Fluttershy breathed a deep sigh and slumped on the couch.  Who was she kidding here? She could barely grapple her way through asking for a cup of tea for herself. Let alone ask for… well… Rainbow Dash back. Folding her hooves over her head, she tried her best to disappear for even thinking the sentence.  Rainbow Dash wasn’t a borrowed cup of sugar! It wasn’t that simple. Not that she’d ever mustered up the courage to ask for a cup back either.  Somehow this was even more terrifying than standing up to a huge, gigantic, terrifying, enormous, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could eat a pony in one bite, totally all grown-up dragon! It would be laughable if she wasn’t so pathetic. “Trixie’s been thinking lately,” Trixie called out from the kitchen amidst the sound of metal hitting the stove and a softly hissed verbal warning at what could only be Angel Bunny. “Have you seen what a mess that library was?” “Yes?” It was awfully hard to miss the terrible pool of mud that the Golden Oaks library seemed to be slowly sinking deeper into. Even with the rain gone, it would take a while for all of that to dry up. “Trixie’s not sorry, but…” Silence dragged out for a moment, presumably for Trixie to straighten her own thoughts out. She sounded conflicted. “Trixie thinks maybe she hadn’t really thought the consequences through. It was great to know Dashie cared so much but… do you think Trixie should have put a stop to it?” “W-well… I think I would like it if friends didn’t fight?” She would have to remember to thank Applejack for stopping Rainbow Dash from doing anything more drastic, but it still had been hard to watch. “What made you ask, if you don’t mind me asking?” “That little dragon boy, Spike? Trixie spent some time with him today and he’s a good kid, Trixie supposes.” “Oh, yes.” She smiled at the mention of the adorable little guy. “Isn’t he just the cutest little dragon you’ve ever seen? Oh, I suppose he is the only little dragon I’ve ever seen.” “Yes, yes. Adorably forgettable… Trixie kind of maybe sorta forgot he lived with Twilight and he had a rough go of it these past rainy days…” Trixie said a little quieter than she usually talked. “He didn’t do anything wrong, but he got caught up in that whole mess anyway. Trixie thought maybe Dash had gone too far, so she got her to, uhm, clear up the cloud...” While she wasn’t sure how it was possible to hear somepony avoid eye-contact, Trixie was somehow managing it even as a disembodied voice floating in all the way from the kitchen. “That, that’s good...right?” “Trixie supposes so. Then Trixie remembered that lil filly, Apple Bloom? She was upset to hear her sister got humiliated by Trixie. Then there’s Rarity who spent a lot of time and effort fixing her mane and… well… It is possible that in hindsight, Trixie also went too far.”   “I’m sorry.” It was a reflex as natural to her as breathing. There was quiet in the kitchen aside from the occasional clack of cups and teaspoons. Curiously no plates.  Finally, Trixie spoke up again. “Trixie thinks… maybe she is too?” “Oh! Uh, uhm… That’s good, I think? Isn’t it? S-so…?”  “What can Trixie do about it? She can’t undo any of that.”  “Maybe… you could talk to them, tomorrow? We are all meeting at Sugarcube Corner.”  “Mhm, yes. Maybe Trixie will do that.” Almost as if to evade spending any time contemplating, Trixie flowed right into the next thing on her mind. “On an unrelated note, how do you feel about road trips? Just out of interest. Trixie used to be on the road a lot actually, you see...” It was kind of endearing to hear Trixie try to pitch her idea of taking both of them along on her next magic tour. She seemed to be entirely genuine about how she saw their relationship, wishing to include them into her life in whichever way she could think of.  Of course she’d already heard the gist of it when Trixie had explained it to Rainbow Dash, but she couldn’t very well say that. The part about meeting and taming wondrous animals was new, though.  Still, she found her thoughts drifting off. Even if she had been intent on keeping the charade going, she already knew she couldn’t really go along with this. For a start it meant traveling from place to place, which meant constantly meeting new ponies. It was hard enough just to do a little shopping in Ponyville where she at least recognized some of the faces. More importantly, she couldn’t just leave all her animal friends to fend for themselves. What would they do without her? She couldn't just leave them behind. Curiously, this plan of Trixie’s both solved and created problems. On the one hoof, if Trixie left and she couldn’t come with her, that meant she didn’t have to lie anymore. On the other hoof, Rainbow Dash would be leaving as well if she didn’t do something.  If she really did her best to think positive, even that last thing might be a blessing in disguise. Rainbow Dash had been by her side for so long that maybe on some level it never seemed pressing to share her feelings. It was easy to chicken out when there would always be a new chance later. But now, once Rainbow Dash left, it would be too late. Whenever that would be. This way she would be forced to make an effort before that terrible point of no return. It was kind of perfect, wasn’t it? A looming deadline she would have to worry about.  Right, because she did so well under pressure. Folding her forelegs over her face, Fluttershy muffled a frustrated groan. She wasn’t sure what she was really hoping to achieve here. Even if she temporarily went mad and managed to voice her wish for Rainbow Dash’s affection, where would she go from there? It wasn’t as if she would suddenly become more assertive after that. More importantly, Rainbow Dash preferred Trixie. Her chest felt as if she’d tripped onto an unsuspecting hedgehog. They had so much in common; boundless energy, Incredible confidence, high ambition, burning passion, and both were impossibly impulsive. Not to mention they both had a real idea of what they wanted out of life…The exact opposite of herself. That was right, the two of them were happy together, weren’t they? Even if she’d learned Rainbow Dash once saw her as a romantic interest as well, what chance did she really have at this point? It wasn’t as though she’d suddenly become assertive and outgoing. Or be able to exchange witty quips and flirtations. Or fully understand that deep desire for stardom. Or… or be anything else Trixie was… The piercing spines felt like they were digging deeper into her. As much as it hurt to admit, Trixie was a better match for Rainbow Dash than she could ever hope to be. A wonderful, expressive, passionate, loving pony… that was even now talking about how excited she was to move away to Las Pegasus or wherever the road would wind… and unwittingly threatening to take Rainbow Dash away in the process. If only things just went back to normal. She didn’t even need to make any progress if that was too much to ask. She simply wanted everything to go back to how things were a couple of weeks ago. That had to be a reasonable compromise, right? It had actually been fun to have Trixie around. A little daunting sometimes, sure, but she’d been getting used to that. She could handle that much. But not this. She definitely couldn’t handle this. Losing both her friends. Just like that. ....It would be nice if they just had a little falling out.  Yes, relationships ended on their own all the time. Maybe it was kinder to give them just a little nudge in the wrong direction to spare them both in the future. If anything, Dash and Trixie were going to break up eventually for one reason or the other, and it would be for the best if they did so before going on a worldwide tour. It would be easy enough if she just kept quiet this time. That’s all she had to do. Not act. As long as she didn’t tell Trixie she was technically cheating. Rainbow Dash would catch on soon and draw her own rash conclusions. Even if they hadn’t exactly done anything… mostly because Trixie was trying so hard to be understanding of her limits and comfort… trying so hard to make sure she felt safe. Her stomach twisted itself into a knot. That was a terrible thing to do. She hated herself for simply thinking it, but it wasn’t the first time she’d considered sabotaging them. She’d even acted on that thought a couple of times. Nothing too big; just little road blocks. Interrupting at an intimate time, using too much garlic. The sort of thing she could convince herself of being perfectly natural mistakes for a clueless pony like her to make.  It never worked for long, and all those petty little things didn’t escape Trixie’s notice. That notice had led Fluttershy to what was easily the cruelest thing she had done. Leading poor Trixie on.  As much as she wanted to believe it was just an accident, a bad choice of words in a moment of panic, she’d had plenty of opportunities to do the right thing by now. No, she was definitely at fault.  She let the poor metaphorical hedgehog go and just accepted the pain was her own fault. She knew she could have said something back then and nipped the whole misunderstanding in the bud, but... now it seemed like that mistake had become a perfect solution. A bursting dam that required nothing more of her than inaction. It wouldn’t be her fault at all if something bad happened just because she hadn’t done anything… or so she liked to tell herself. To everypony else, she’d be innocently caught up in the whole mess. She’d never have to tell Trixie that she didn’t actually love her. She was being selfish. Selfish, stupid and cruel, but was that really so bad? She just wanted that feeling to go away. No matter how disgusted she was with herself for it, if she just endured, things would be normal again. The tears were back, she could feel wet patches forming on her fur..  It was a terrible thing to do and she knew it. What was wrong with her?  “Fluttershy? Are you okay?” Trixie’s voice was awfully close all of a sudden.  She froze. When did Trixie return?! She hadn’t heard her come in! Her heart beating in her throat kept her from saying anything intelligible. She just managed to blubber and quickly stopped. She wanted to squeak out something reassuring, but her lower lip started to quake whenever she tried to open her mouth again. After a quiet moment, the couch creaked as Trixie sat down beside her.  Oh, no. A warm and far too emphatic touch slowly stroked her back. “C-can you tell Trixie what’s wrong?” Her voice was unsteady, sharing a familiar tremor of uncertainty. “Trixie can help.”   She didn’t deserve this, not at all. “I-I’m sorry.” She brought her wings forward to bury her face deeper. If she just went deep enough maybe she’d escape the shame that came with each stroke of Trixie’s attempt at comforting. “What? Oh, this is about the cloak...” The couch creaked again and soon she felt Trixie lean over top of her, wrapping her in a gentle hug. “It… it wasn’t… well, it was important… but… not as important as you are. Trixie’s sorry she yelled at you.” This was who she was losing her little one sided battle against. A down on her luck mare that would discard her last possession if it meant making her fragile buttercup feel a little bit better. “I… I’m fine,” she croaked out, barely audible to even herself.  Trixie must have heard her, however. As she gave her a tight squeeze then backed away, leaving only a lingering hoof to trace along her shoulder blades. “If you say so, but… Trixie’s not so sure.” The thought of Trixie concerning herself over her any more was too much to handle. Using her fetlocks to dry her eyes, she did her best to make herself a little presentable before emerging from her feathered cocoon. “N-no, really. Uhm...” She blinked against the light, finding Trixie sitting beside her with two cups suspended in mid air.  One floated closer to her.  “...Thank you,” she said while taking the warm cup between her hooves. A lovely lemon scent with a hint of honey. As she took her first hesitant sip and tried to calm down, she surveyed the room.  Trixie was right beside her, handling her own cup with magic. As expected, Trixie had not made anything to eat for just herself despite claiming she was going to originally. Once Trixie noticed her staring, she flashed a smile. “How is it?” It was too sweet for her. Much like the mare that made it.  “It’s perfect.”  “Hah, of course it is. Trixie made it after all.” Trixie grinned and pulled back to rest against the farside of the couch, stirring her tea. “Trixie realizes this is a little, uh, late… but… how was your day?” “M-my day? Oh, uhm… not as exciting as yours, but… I made a new home for a future guest.” She motioned to the birdhouse roughly nailed into the ceiling beam. Trixie sipped her tea as she rambled on. “I talked to Angel… and Rainbow Dash. Oh, and you, but you knew that. I-I think that’s about it. It was fine. Why do you ask?” “Trixie was just curious what she missed. Other than you.” Trixie gave a sly wink. A warmth spread through her chest, probably the hot tea. She did her best to ignore it and steel herself. “Uhm, Trixie? H-how do you… uhm… f-feel about… Rainbow Dash?” “Huh?” Trixie looked taken aback by the direction of the conversation. “You mean as a pony? Well, she’s a bit too conceited and sure of herself, but Trixie tries not to hold that against her.” By the end, that grin was back. “In truth, she kind of loves that about her. But that’s a big secret, don’t tell anypony.” “Y-you’re not taking this seriously,” she said with just a touch of annoyance in her voice that made Trixie frown. “S-sorry… It’s just… I need to know how, uhm, s-serious you are. About her. I mean.”  It wasn’t really fair to ask something like that so suddenly, but it was important. Trixie had known Rainbow Dash for only a short while and gotten infatuated. Who really knew how often that happened to her? Perhaps there was a mare in every town. Or maybe this was true love. Or, maybe something in between. She was really grasping at straws now, just looking for some excuse. There was a moment’s pause as Trixie ruminated on the question, staring down into her teacup. “Trixie thinks she is? It is hard to put into words. Being with her is fun and Trixie feels comfortable when she talks with her. Though, Trixie is sure that we do not know each other as well as, for example, Dash and you. But every time Trixie learns something new about her, Trixie feels happy. Even if it’s something small, you know?” Fluttershy noticed a smile forming on Trixie’s face, accompanied by a dreamy expression. Not Trixie’s trademark boisterous stage smile brimming with confidence, but a soft smile. One she didn’t think Trixie was even aware of.  “Today, she mentioned that she used to like sliced fruits as a kid. Pointless, stupid trivia, right? And still…” Trixie looked up, meeting her gaze. “When Trixie saw the fruit bowl in the kitchen, all she could think about was what fruit it was, just so she could slice some to share with her later. That’s dumb, isn’t it? Dash probably doesn’t even like that anymore. Heck, she probably won’t even remember that she mentioned it because it’s such a trivial nonsense thing.” “N-no… I understand.” That horrible hedgehog was back. This was enough. She was always going to feel this way if nothing changed, but she’d tried everything she could think of to get rid of that feeling already. At least, everything that wouldn’t have too drastic a consequence…  If she couldn’t trust herself to be good, then something had to give.  “U-uhm...” She fumbled for the right words. Resolving to tell the truth was one thing, but where did she even begin? Admit to eavesdropping tonight? Or maybe that she mislead Trixie about having feelings for her?  “D-do you remember… when I, uhm… ” “Hey, Fluttershy. What about you?” Trixie interrupted with an unerring sense of the worst timing. “You’ve been friends with Dash for a long time. What do you think about her?” “W-what?” This was definitely not where she wanted to start. “I, uhm, you mean as a pony? S-she’s great.” “Now who’s not taking this seriously?” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Come now, you must have some more thoughts on her.” She felt a sudden blush coming on. What was Trixie insinuating? Now that she thought about it, Rainbow Dash was asked something when Trixie thought they were alone. “W-well, she’s very straightforward and fearless. A-and, uhm, not very good at thinking things through, but I think that’s part of why she can be who she is…. A-about that actually...” “Yes?” “Did… did you talk her any more about, uhm...” She motioned with her hoof between the two of them a couple of times. “Y-you know?” “Us?” Trixie looked surprised. “A little.” “But not in detail, r-right?” she pried, cautiously. “The Great and Discreet Trixie assures you she does not kiss and tell.” Trixie began with the utmost earnestness, but quickly devolved into adding a wink and a salacious grin. “Unless you wish her to?” “T-that’s not it.” She managed to squeak out as her teacup was smoothly pulled from her grasp and set down on the table alongside its sibling. She gulped as Trixie leaned in closer, seeming to be intent on having something to tell should she agree.  “I… I don’t think she understood.” Mercifully, Trixie froze. “...What?” “Rainbow Dash, she never said anything to me about it. She was very busy but… she probably would have, right?” Despite the look of increasing worry on Trixie’s face, Fluttershy felt as if a set of overstocked saddlebags finally slid off. One less secret and she was already feeling better. “So, I talked to her today and asked about it. N-not directly. I mean. Uhm… Well, she definitely has no idea. Is… is that bad?” If she had any suspicions as to whether Trixie had lied, they vanished along with the color in Trixie’s face. “Are you sure?”  She nodded. “But, but Trixie was sure she… maybe Trixie wasn’t clear enough.” She reeled back with a dramatic groan. “Gahh, Dash is going to kill Trixie! It’s already been weeks! Now what? Should Trixie just go over to her right now and try to explain?” “I, uhm, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Sorry…. She’d be right to get really upset.” With how paranoid Trixie could be, Fluttershy knew it didn’t take terribly much to conjure up a worst case scenario in her mind. If she ever got the chance later, she’d have to apologize. Signs of panic were already starting to set in. Pinprick pupils. Rapid breathing. Fortunately, she had experience in soothing Trixie. “We don’t have to tell her, but… we can’t do this anymore. It wouldn’t be fair, right? If we just stop now, nopony’s to blame.” “Y-you think? But… that means… We’d have to break it off.” Trixie quickly latched on to the proposed solution, though conflict was clearly written across her face. “Trixie can’t do that you, Fluttershy. Or herself for that matter. Argh. Trixie knew she should have gotten us all together to talk about it. It’s just, Dash was so busy, and it must have slipped Trixie’s mind when she finally got to see her. Sorry.” “It’s okay. I, I wasn’t very, uhm… a-active... with you. S-so I’m sure things won’t change that much.” It was a little sweet to see Trixie still worried about how this impacted her, but it also made her just that much more aware of how manipulative she was being. Would an apology be enough? That future problem was all she could focus on to combat the inner struggle. Would Trixie’s favorite food and a note be a good start? Trixie was tense and silent, wearing what could be deemed her ‘scheming scowl’. For all the times she’d seen Trixie adopt that face and delve into deep thought, very little good usually came from it.  “Trixie?” There was no verbal response, though Trixie’s eyes focused on her for a moment. They widened briefly then returned to their previous position, darting left to right just a little bit. Following her gaze revealed the calendar on the wall. In particular the past weeks. “It’s okay.” She reached out to touch Trixie on the shoulder. “I couldn’t have come on tour either. So, it’s k-kind of for the best? I hope you and Rai—” “Do you like Rainbow Dash?” Trixie’s full attention suddenly snapped back to her with intensity. Staring back as if she’d been petrified for ten seconds following that question would be a dead give away. Maybe if she’d been a little better at acting under pressure, that might have dawned on her at the start rather than the end of it. She composed herself as best she could. “S-sure? She’s my best friend.” “Do you like like her?” Trixie asked a little more insistently after the first evasion. “N-no?” She lied reflexively. Be calm! She had to be calm. It wasn’t a big deal! She was going to tell Trixie anyway, wasn’t she? Even if this wasn’t how she’d pictured it. But why was Trixie asking all of a sudden? Oh Celestia, she hoped she wasn’t sweating as much as it felt like. Some of the intensity melted off Trixie as she leaned back a little bit. “Ah, sorry. Trixie understands this must seem a bit… accusatory. What with Trixie catching you checking out her girlfriend’s toned tush.” She motioned up at the freshly nailed birdhouse above.  She noticed!? “T-that’s n-not. I, I mean.” Oh no, she was feeling the heat rising to her face. The more she struggled the faster she was turning bright red. A quick, but none too casual mane flip at least let her hide behind something, but it was obviously too late. “O-oh….” “Heh, it seems so obvious now, but Trixie will admit she was a bit slow on the uptake. It actually took some help from a friend to realize it.” She could feel Trixie close in, then a hoof parted her shielding mane, brushing it behind her ear. She kept her eyes closed tight, unsure how angry Trixie would be. “To be honest, Trixie was planning to coax it out of you, but she doesn’t think we have the time. Aw, you’re shaking.” Trixie petted her head. “Relax. You’re not in trouble.” “I-I’m not?” She cautiously peeked out one eye. “Of course not.” Trixie wore a surprisingly upbeat smile as she shook her head. “Well, maybe a little bit, but the point right now is… do you like her?” The lump in her throat was impossible to swallow. She’d really hoped to couch the truth in some much softer language and with a lot more context. But, if Trixie really wanted to know this badly… Actually, she seemed pretty certain of it already and why wouldn’t she? Even pet dogs who tore up the carpet had better poker faces than she did. She wouldn’t even know what that term meant if it wasn’t for Trixie teaching her. “Y...yes. I-I do…” Tears welled up in her eyes. It felt so good to finally say it, out loud, to another pony. “I have… for a l-long time. I was never going to…” “Act on it?” Trixie finished for her, with the kind of glee in her voice normally held for newborn puppies. A simple nod sufficed for Trixie this time as she suddenly dove in and gave her a tight hug, almost crushing her. “Great! So, listen. Trixie knows you are kind of, shall we say, averse to risk taking, but… How would you feel about acting on it with Trixie’s blessing?” Trixie’s grip must have been so tight that it was cutting off circulation to her head. Did she really just say that? To what end? She was pretty sure at this point Trixie’s behaviour wasn’t an act. She hesitantly wrapped her hooves around Trixie, mimicking her hold at about a tenth of it’s vigor. “I don’t understand. You want me to… H-hit on Rainbow Dash so she’s cheating too and she can’t be mad? I, I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with that... Actually, I’m sure I’m not.” “Woah.” Loosening her grip, Trixie pushed away till they were facing each other, resting their hooves on each others shoulders and hips as they parted. “That’s so devious! Trixie is once again impressed. Remind her to include you next time she wants to plot an elaborate heist. However, Trixie was actually just going to ask if maybe you’d be interested in, uhm, joining us officially? If you’d rather go with your plan, Trixie supposes we could workshop it.”  “J-join you? As in… as in…” she could not finish the sentence without overheating. Trixie was asking her to take part in the relationship fully? But why, what would that solve? Unless, Trixie was banking on the idea that Rainbow Dash would not be able to stay mad if she stood more to gain? As though she wouldn’t have any reason to be jealous if the source of that jealousy was shared between them? That was insane. And, yet… the idea of being… like that. The heat that had been trapped in her face spread out through her whole body.  “Yes. As in join us for dinner with the Apples again.” “W-what? But... ” She bit her lip. What had she been thinking?  “O-of course. If you think it will help.” “Trixie is pretty sure you had a better idea just now.” Trixie regarded her with some obvious bemusement. “What was it?”   “N-nothing.” Was she toying with her now in some cruel game? “Okay. If you’re sure, but… Trixie could really use your input.” She slipped away, back into her own spot and brought the teacup over. A single sip had her pull a disgusted face, evidently the tea had gone cold. “Yuck. Trixie should have drank it when she had the chance. What about you? Still hot, or are you gonna let it get cold too?”  Oh, that little… weasel. She understood the intention now. Trixie wanted her to say it. This was likely another one of her ploys to ‘help’ her get a little more comfortable with speaking her mind, right? She could not have picked a worse thing in the world to do this to her with. Now that she thought about it, that was probably why Trixie was so insistent on getting a verbal answer as to whether or not she liked Rainbow Dash.  Now that she knew where she was in Trixie’s playbook, there was time to consider her position. There was one secret she had not yet shared with Trixie, but telling her would definitely mean losing this opportunity.  She liked Trixie, she really did, but if her standard was Rainbow Dash, she definitely didn’t ‘like like’ her.  Only moments ago had she finally found an angle to gently let Trixie down from their one sided relationship without hurting her feelings. Did she really want to let that go just so she could… get what she’d always wanted? For Rainbow Dash to look at her and like her. But, not just like her, Rainbow already liked her, but, maybe she could 'like like' her?" She looked back to Trixie, contemplating her future. It wasn’t as though Trixie wasn’t attractive or attentive. And she definitely did care for Trixie, but… was that really enough? The difference felt so vast. On the other hoof… She’d known and grown with Rainbow Dash for years, was it really any wonder she felt so much stronger about her? Wasn’t there a chance that, given time, she would grow to feel more toward Trixie as well? Could she ‘like like’ her too? It felt flimsy. Still, it was something she could tell herself. That’s why it would be okay. Now that Fluttershy was looking at her more closely, she was beginning to notice some obvious signs in Trixie she hadn’t before. Trixie's muscles were tightened up. And when Fluttershy looked in her direction, Trixie withdrew a few inches from her before catching herself doing it and, as subtley as possible, reversing course. Trixie was nervous.  That made sense. Trixie was trying to hold onto the ponies she loved, and it was all dependent on whether an incredibly cowardly pegasus could scrap together enough courage to ask for something and prove she truly desired it. If that failed, Trixie’s only options would be to break off one relationship, and then either lie to Rainbow Dash, or tell the truth. There was a very real chance that each path left her with nothing. Even if she succeeded, it would mean she’d only get half of what she wanted. Even if she agreed to go along with Trixie in this, the next hurdle would be Rainbow Dash’s reaction.  Was that why Trixie had zoned out for so long? To concoct the one gambit which gave her a chance at everything? Even if the chances of it working out were so much smaller? Trixie couldn’t stand to let either of them go, could she? Fluttershy could relate to that. No wonder Trixie was so nervous. She sucked in a shuddering breath. “Trixie?” “Y-yes?” Trixie snapped at attention. It was her choice to make. “I… I think we s-should… I mean.” She gulped. This was harder than she thought it would be, and she already thought it was going to be impossible. Come on, all at once! She closed her eyes tightly. “Let’s ask Rainbow Dash if we can all be together! I-if that’s okay with you!?” Oh, Celestia! She’d really said it. She just wanted to sink through the floor and die. Fortunately, Trixie leaped into action. While the hardwood floor was too sturdy to sink into, Trixie did her very best to hug the life out of her. “That’s perfect! Why didn’t Trixie think of that!?” The future was going to be interesting.