//------------------------------// // Confusion // Story: The Diary of Discord Wimp // by ThePianoMan //------------------------------// “You cannot hope to build a better world without improving…” -Marie “Ha ha hah!” Rainbow rested on the lawn mower she pushed along side Discord’s and Spike’s. “That’s hilarious! You seriously thought Zeph was Fluttershy’s boyfriend?” Discord rolled his eyes. “I get it, I’m a dork.” Spike listened as kept counting his money over and over again. “I’m a little surprised you’re not more weirded out by Discord’s crush. You know, the crush he has on your friend.” “Yeah, normally I would be.” Rainbow switched from walking to flying, giving her legs a rest. “But, Discord has an advantage on every other stallion that’s asked her out.” “What’s that?” Spike asked. Rainbow smirked at Discord. “He’s not a complete jerk.” “Thanks, I guess?” Discord grumbled as he checked the terribly miniscule amount of bits he earned. Three bits, he though, that’s like a bit per hour! “No, seriously.” Rainbow stopped and flew in front of Discord. “Sure, you went out of your way to help me just because you wanted to fix your situation with Fluttershy, but I’ve never met another that would do that for her. That tells me something important, you care. And to be honest, I’m kinda rooting for you.” She went back to pushing her lawn mower. “But, I’m not putting in any good words for you. You gotta earn it all yourself.” “That’s fair.” Discord shrugged. “Did she tell you that, about me caring?” “Yeah.” Spike wagged his money at Rainbow in an accusatory manner. “No offense, but you’re not exactly the romantic type.” “I am too!” Rainbow shot back. “I’m just not all mushy gushy, and I don’t like to talk about it.” “Fair enou-.” Spike winced as they came closer to his house. Rainbow and Discord visibly sunk as they heard it, the yelling. It was becoming more and more frequent, and its effects on Spike were becoming clearer and clearer to see. It was always clear when the yelling had occurred. At school, Spike would neglect his lunch and sink into a quiet stupor where he’d be in and out of conversations. It affected everyone else too. Just the other day, Twilight cried about how she got her first A-. She claimed she was distracted. However, they all knew that was Twilight speak for, I’m worried about Spike. Discord wished he could send Donna to one of those places he passed through when teleporting, and he’d just leave her there. He pat Spike on the shoulder. “Come on, bro. Let’s go.” The yelling got louder, and Discord felt his collar buzz. “Let’s get out of here.” They dropped the lawnmowers off at Discord’s house before they travelled two street over to a house that stuck out like a sore thumb. Between the freshly barred windows, and the three radio towers bolted to the rooftop, it looked more akin to a high security military facility than an actual house. The power lines that hung over the house sparked suddenly. “Good thing this isn’t an H.O.A. neighborhood,” Spike muttered as he pulled out his EC radio. “Tuning into the mad scientist’s lab.” He meticulously clicked a button in a specific pattern which sent out a stream of tones. A flash of light boomed through one of the windows. Spike nodded. “He heard us.” After a multitude of clacks and heavy mechanical sounds, air hissed from the front door as it opened. As the door swung open, it revealed itself to be almost a foot thick with steel and pistons. Doc jumped out, covered head to hoof in a white environment suit. “Great wickering stallions! Kids! Come on in, I’ve got some interesting results from that drain you passed.” He disappeared back into the house. Rainbow nudged Discord. “What’s that all about?” “You didn’t tell her?” Spike asked. The walk into the house was enough for Discord and Spike to fill Rainbow in on what happened during their ride home from the mall. Rainbow held on to a look of uncertainty. “That’s pretty freaky, but how do you know they weren’t just twins?” Spike rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe it was just the fact that he was chasing us. Oh! And, his eyes were glowing green!” “Still,” Rainbow shot back, “they could have been brothers that were caught up in something.” Doc finished flinging the environment suit from the last of his legs as he dashed around the living room which had been fitted with diagnostic machines, a rack of chemicals, and other bizarre contraptions that weren’t identifiable. Doc eventually retrieved a vial of green goo. “Vuala! This is what I retrieved from the drainage grate. It took me a while to confirm its identity, but I was sure I had recognized it from the beginning. I haven’t seen this stuff since the changeling wars ended.” Discord remembered hearing his mother and grandmother worry about that time when he was younger. He vaguely remembered the protesters that fought against the draft and the signs that read, Bring Our Sons Home. The last Discord remembered hearing of it was the memorial that had been constructed in Canterlot city not long ago. Spike took the vial and scrutinized it with his eyes. “Okay. But, what is it?” “Vomit!” Doc exclaimed. Discord and Rainbow gagged as Spike stretched his arm out and tried not to up chuck. All of them muttered, “Gross!” Doc took the vial back and set it on a rack with more samples of the substance. “Gross, indeed but still a scientific marvel, nonetheless. The changelings used this stuff for building hives, barricades, and even storing prisoners. When mixed with saliva or any light solvents, it changes into a wax like substance that can be manipulated up until the point where it dries into a hard structure.” “What’s it doing in the canal?” Rainbow asked. “I’ll explain.” Doc picked up a yardstick and whacked it against the floor, breaking off a piece. “Notice anything?” Discord took the broken yardstick and found a hardened glob of the substance holding together a broken section near the new break. “It the wood broke before the fix did. It’s like glue.” “Ah, yes! You see, after the changeling wars, many veterans believed they could make a fortune selling this stuff by smuggling it into Equestria. Of course, the government came cracking down on such activities like a sledgehammer to a peanut. It was banned in most countries, but it’s not uncommon to find decade old fixes that utilized this substance. I’ve even found recycled military equipment that’s been repaired in this manner.” Spike scratched his chin. “That drainage grate, you said it was in a goo form you found it. So, if it wasn’t being used to repair anything, because those grates are supposed to open, then why was it down there?” Doc shrugged. “No idea. But, a likely explanation would be that someone was looking to dump it before they got caught with it.” Discord looked at one of the vials. It looked almost the same as the glow of two face’s eyes. “What about an unlikely explanation?” “Pfft! Ha ha!” Doc wiped his eyes after his fit of laughter ended. “Are you suggesting that there’s a changeling roaming around the sewers under Ponyville? That’s preposterous! Everyone knows the changelings were wiped out along with their queen. I would know, since I was the one who helped secure her body at…” He paused. “I’m not going to finish that sentence, and since you all signed those waivers, you legally can’t disclose any of that information. Understand?” “Yes sir.” Spike saluted before cracking a smile. “You certainly didn’t disclose any information regarding the secret base hidden in the San Palomino desert.” “That’s right.” Doc smiled. “I didn’t disclose any information regarding Stable 74 nor,” his eyes shot wide open. “No. No! You sneak of a dragon! There is nothing out there but a military weapons testing site, and that’s public knowledge.” “Okay, nerds.” Rainbow cut in. “What about this unicorn that supposedly has the same face as another unicorn?” Doc tapped his chin before shrugging. “Twins?” “That’s what I said!” Rainbow glared at Spike and Discord. “Although,” Doc tapped his chin again as he thought, “hm. I couldn’t risk not covering the bases as it were.” He walked over to a briefcase and popped it open. The case was tied into other wires that traveled up through conduit into the ceiling. Clearing his throat, Doc Spoke into the device in the briefcase. “Action Saddle Fetlock, this is Draft Whicker Trot sixty three. Calling in for a possible Konic Draft Fetlock. Respond when convenient. Over.” Doc closed the briefcase. “I suggest you kids get going. I’ll be having some experts coming over soon, so you best be out of the way. It would be best if you got home before dark.” ***** “That was weird.” Rainbow flew as she talked. “It was almost like he believed there really was a changeling out there.” Spike shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe he was just doing like he said, covering bases. If those experts, Doc was talking about, find nothing, all the better. Right, Discord? Discord?” Discord kept his eyes on the willow tree in the middle of the park they were passing. “I think you’re right, Spike. But, I can’t shake this odd feeling that something else is up. I’m honestly a little worried.” The image of the unicorn’s glowing eyes stung his memory now. The idea of changelings in Ponyville really did spook him. But, if it turned out to be just one survivor from the war, surely the experts Doc talked about would neutralize it. Considering the notion of the changeling goo just being someone’s illegal stash, that was a comfort. Discord understood crime. He figured that that’s what it must be. Two unrelated crimes clashed together to make up a scenario that seemed more serious than reality dictated. Discord was convinced. He’d seen unicorn eyes glow when performing powerful spells. He figured the goo just happened to be in the same spot as a scuffle between two twin brothers. “I wouldn’t worry about it.” Rainbow sighed. “You told him you saw two identical unicorns with a patch around their eyes. They’ll probably find them and sort out whatever’s going on. They are experts, like Doc says.” Discord didn’t want to worry. “You’re right. They’ll handle it. And, we won’t have to worry about it now.” Spike crossed his arms. “Kinda makes you curious though.” He surveyed the neighborhood. “Changelings can turn into anyone. Donna could be a changeling. My math teacher could be a changeling. Even your neighbors could be changelings!” “Yeah, right.” Discord rolled his eyes. “If this cookie cutter neighborhood has changelings in it, then I’m a fairy princess.” “You could be a fairy princess,” Spike snickered, “if that’s the character you’re settling on for O&O.” “What’s O&O?” Rainbow asked. Spike dramatically slapped his chest and reached out to Rainbow with his other arm. “You mean to say, madam, that you have not heard of the world’s greatest roleplaying game?!” Rainbow cocked a brow at Spike’s antics. “Sounds kinda like egghead stuff to me.” “Excuse me,” Discord laughed, “Twilight is the egghead that helped you get your grades back up. So, you are the last person in this group that can talk down, quote on quote, eggheads.” “Twilight is different though. She’s booksmart. This is…” Rainbow went quiet as she hunted for the words. Spike picked up with his own, “just another excuse because you think you’re too cool for O&O. Maybe,” Spike flashed a devilish smile, “you’re not cool enough for it.” Rainbow stopped and hovered in place. “Woah. Slow down there. I’m cool enough for anything.” “I don’t know,” Spike teased, “I’d say there’s a percentile for this game that you’re simply lacking.” Rainbow snorted. “What percentile?” Spike crossed his arms, smirking as he said, “Twenty percent.” Rainbow hummed, her attention hooked. “Oh, yeah? What exactly is this game, anyway?” “It’s Ogres & Oubliettes.” Discord explained. “It’s a fantasy roleplaying game where you battle monsters, hunt for treasure, or go on any adventure the game master makes up.” “Doesn’t sound too bad.” Rainbow clicked her tongue in thought. “So is there are there specific characters that we play as?” Discord smiled at her question. “Whatever you want. You can be any race, any age, and any class. You could be anything from a knight to a magician. There’s a way to mix classes, but the rules recommend that for advanced players.” “So, I could be whatever I want? Could I be like a ninja?” Rainbow asked. “Actually,” Spike thought, “I believe there is an assassin subclass for thief.” “Assassin you say?” Rainbow flew behind a bush and pantomimed the act of sneaking up on a target before hopping onto the sidewalk and chopping the air. “Sounds pretty cool. I guess I’ll give it a shot.” Discord snapped a pair of frameless glasses onto his face that were taped up with a bandage. “And of course, we’ll help you with the egghead stuff.” “Thanks.” Rainbow laughed. “So, when do ya all plan on playing this? Saturday? I thought we were doing Discord’s magic practice. And, about that...” Discord asked, “What about that?” “The lawnmower I’m using, it’s actually one of the lawnmowers Big Mac uses on his family’s farm. And as a return favor for borrowing it, I said I would babysit his little sister for him on Saturdays. Would it be cool if she tagged along?” Discord shrugged. “I don’t see a problem with that. Do you Spike? “I got nothing against it.” Spike snapped his claws at Rainbow. “And to answer your other question from earlier, we’re thinking about Fridays. Well, it’ll be the Friday after this Friday of course.” “Yeah, that’s right,” Rainbow mushed Spike’s cheek around, “the wittle dragon is going on his first date with a doll.” “She’s not a doll.” Spike sort of snapped back. “She’s a fashionista with a sense of taste.” “Oh, brother.” Discord rolled his eyes. Spike groaned. “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side.” “No offense Spike,” Discord forced a smile as he tried to find a delicate way to put what he meant to say, “but I am a little confused as to why she said yes to you. I mean, have you seen the others she hangs out with? They don’t seem like the type of ponies to hang around guys like us. They’re all unicorns, and they seem a little elitist.” “Dolls.” Rainbow reaffirmed. Discord could see Spike was beginning to frown. “Look. Just be careful. You barely know this filly. I just don’t want you to get hurt if it turns out there’s something else up. I want it to work between the two of you. I’m just looking out for you, bro” “Thanks.” Spike smiled. “I thought I was the hopeless romantic.” Discord shrugged. “I guess it’s rubbing off.” “Gah,” Rainbow gagged, “guys, cut the mushy gushy stuff.” Discord and Spike both laughed at Rainbow’s general discomfort as they continued to walk to Discord’s home.