After giving an annoyingly domineering speech about how I would stampede through my opposition, I managed to irritate 'Grogar' enough to be send to the outskirts of my kingdom.
You know, I never really understood why historians refer to it as a 'kingdom'. If its full name is the 'Crystal Empire' shouldn't it be an empire? And wouldn't that mean I was 'Emperor Sombra' not 'King Sombra'?
Agh, whatever! That's irrelevant! What's important is that I was back! Furthermore, I managed to trick that fraud, (the most likely false) Grogar, that I would foolishly launch a self-destructive attack on the Crystal Empire all by myself!
I looked towards the Crystal Castle twinkling in the distance and chuckled.
Of course I wouldn't do that! What kind 'conqueror' tries to take over a land filled with powerful magic creatures in a few days without planning ahead? An incompetent one!
Or Iridium, the last descendant of the Original Dragon Lord. Oh, Iridium, you were a bruttish and dimwitted fellow! I learned a lot from your failures during our quite long-lived alliance.
My point is, I knew that my chances of taking over Equestria all by myself were low, at best.
The blank spot in the painting that were my viscous plans, was the fact that I knew just as much about the current state of Equestrian affairs - next to nothing.
Equestria's defense was great, mostly because it was not merely magically enhanced walls or gates. With the Elements of Harmony, the Crystal Heart and other powerful tools, the princesses' potential prowess could practically break any limit, far surpassing even my might when I am at my very best.
Now, I knew there were ways that could be overcome, but I should probably wait for a little while before doing anything of great significance.
First, I needed information and that's where the second issue came in. I probably should have convinced the changeling queen to join me, because she would have been perfect for the job! For me, that was near damn impossible!
How, you ask? Shouldn't the great, infamous and all-powerful dark master of Fear be able to gather simple information easily, you wonder? Well no, I couldn't!
I am a unicorn with umbrumish origin! I can only change my form from 'unicorn' to 'shadow pony'!
Sure, I could cast an illusion spell, but weakened as I currently was, the princesses would probably see through it immediately! Then they would vanish me into the Abyss once more!
I grumbled to myself, kicking a few crystal stones.
I guess being one of Equestria's most feared and known monsters came with the huge downside of everypony being able to recognize you on sight.
It was good for intimidation, but what good was intimidation without the capability to back it up? You just end up making a fool of yourself.
So, I wasn't at full power...Maybe I could refill my magic supply by feeding off the fears of ponies. Yes, that could be a good starting point for my revenge.
However, I didn't know what I was really up against...
And as I said, I couldn't gather any information safely, nor did I have anywhere to go, where my mere presence wouldn't cause a commotion...
Well...except one place...
Yes, yes... I was going back to that old ram's lair, literally a few minutes after I had left. Believe me, I was just as vexed at this silly turn of events as you all are.
I wasn't actually returning to Grogar. I had simply come to gather key intel on Twilight Sparkle. A short-term operation(I hoped). A quick in-and-out job.
I just hoped that imposturous goat wouldn't see me. At least I could be spared some of the humiliation.
It'd probably be for the best if I stayed in my umbrum form. That way, I could easily blend in with the background if I managed to flatten my sprawling body into a wall, in case Grogar were to appear suddenly.
"Now, which one of the three fiends should I interrogate first?" I said quietly to myself. Sometimes, I tented to do such impetuous things. Thus, my cover was blown fast.
"Oh hey, Sombra, you're back!"
I froze up, shock and horror briefly filling me. I turned around and my eyes widened.
"What the-?! The little pegasus?!"
"Yup, that's me!" the noodle-haired filly said, smiling at me, "I'm Cozy Glow, by the way. I sorta dorta forgot to introduce myself when we were all...well, introducing ourselves! Heh heh..."
That awkward laugh. That bright smile. Those cute glowing eyes. There was just something off about her. I could feel it. I mean, what is a friendly, happy-go-along, weak pony doing amongst Grogar's coalition. We are talking the most feared and resented opposition of the whole damn Equestria itself. How in Tartarus is she even still breathing?
"Uh...heyyy...um...hm..." the filly waved a hoof in front of my face.
"What?" I growled harshly, causing her to shiver and back away a little.
"N-Nothing, it's just that you've been staring at me for quite a while now and you haven't said anything, sooooo...yeah, kinda creepy-"
The fright and anxiety in her filly eyes was obvious and although my lips should have curled up into a menacing smirk, they formed into a callous frown instead. I still couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong about her whole attitude.
I hummed and made the coat of shadows disperse into thin air, so I could conversate with the filly in a much more familiar to her form, with a much less intimidating voice.
"So, child, I have been caught by you. You now know of my lies and deceptions...what are you going to do with this newly acquired information about me, the great, the evillest, the one and only - King Somb-"
"You lied to Grogar?"
I stammered, baffled.
"Wh- Of course I lied to that goat! Do not mistake me for a mere glaikit gascon! Everything I do is part of a intricate, carefully considered and judicious plan, exploiting the factors of-halt! Why am I even informing you of this?!"
I glared at the filly. Judging from the expression on her face, she was either scared or confused to the point of being scared. I heard an acute gulp.
"Because...you like having someone to talk to about your devillish plans!"
As she said that, that filly had the audacity to give me a bright-eyed smile, too. I growled.
"No, I do not. Now, I admit, that might've worked on a more dim-witted and egocentric black hat, especially the type to genuinely brag, but I, as you must already know, am Sombra! So, to your lame excuse I say: Pathetic, child, pathetic!"
Now, with my face literally pressed against hers in a manner that's supposed to be threatening (but might've honestly looked hilarious on the outside), the filly had no chance but to concede, either due to horror or inability to comprehand the situation.
"O-Okaaaaay...uhm...I was, uh, thinking...maybe we could, ya know, go to my chambers and have a little chat there." then she gave me that strange awkward smile and winked at me.
I was shook. Did a filly just wink at me while offering to share a bed? What world have I been resurrected to?!
"Revolting!" I screeched, jumping back a few meters, "Be ashamed and disgusted with yourself, child! How come you offer your body, to royalty, at this age...I wanted you to know your place and it certainly isn't in a bed with me."
"What?! No, what the-No!" the filly exclaimed, twice as repulsed and horrified by the idea than even I was, "That's not what I was trying to say at all!"
"Then why give an open invitation to a stallion like myself, if not to engage in the mating ritual?" I asked. Now I was the confused one.
"Because-!"
A voice echoed through the lair, cutting the pegasus off.
"What's going on over there?!"
I panicked a bit and immediately merged with a big shadow on the wall. I heard vulgar mumbling heading our way, getting louder and clearer. I had to keep my eyes closed so as to not give myself away, thus I couldn't see the approaching figure.
"Oh, Chrysalis, what's up?" the filly asked casually.
Chrysalis? Was this not the fair Queen of changelings?
"-'What's up' is the volume of noise you've been making for the past ten minutes! Unlike you, I am not a young fluttering youngling filled unending supply of enthusiastic energy! Some of us, need some peace and quiet from time to time!"
I tried my hardest not to giggle to the senile complaining of the changeling queen.
"Oops! Sorry, I'll try to be less noisy in the near future,"
There was a pause. Through her own shadow, I could feel she was shuffling around a bit, as if examining the area.
"Who were you talking to anyways?"
"What? Uh, nopony! I mean- myself, I was talking to myself!"
"You're a terrible liar, child..."
Couldn't agree more...
"It's true, there's nopony here!"
"Hmmm, I'll be the judge of that..."
Poor stupid thing. I'll have to leave in a second, because it'd seem I'd be found out by the changeling queen as well-
"Ah hah! I knew I smelled the scent of an umbrum! Quit hiding, cowardly king!"
"Cowardly king?!" I roared in fury as I emerged from my hiding spot, the cloak of shadows now sparkling with unruly magic. The arrogant queen merely smirked, as if mocking me, which obviously didn't help my mood, "I will show you what a coward looks like, once I bring out the worst in you and make you look at a mirror!"
"No need, I have one to look at right now!"
I felt passionate glower rise in my throat.
"And what makes me a coward, little insect?" I asked in a low, cold and menacing voice, but if anything, I more or less annoyed her with the 'little insect' addressment.
"You being here is proof enough, ruffian! You were probably scared out of your skin when Twilight Sparkles and her little friends came to defend the Crystal Empire! You ran away, licking your wounds and you came back to plead for our help, didn't you?!"
Oh, this mare was really testing my patience! I felt so furious at her words, I wanted nothing more than to devour her whole, envelop her in a suffocating embrace while meshing our fanged lips together as I drown her mind in her worst nightmares!
...
Huh...Where did that come from?
"What?" the changeling queen spat, "Too hurt by the truth to move, king?!"
I gave her a sideways. Mare, if I told you why I appeared stunned, you'd probably be shivering, so shut your trap. Still, what were these burning emotions I experienced just a moment ago when I was in the heat of an argument with the insectoid mare. Had I gone through this before?
"Guys, can you keep it down a notch! Sweet Celestia, I'm surprised Tirek and Grogar haven't already heard us!"
The changeling and I turned to look at the pegasus filly who we had briefly forgotten about. We snorted almost in sync, which caused us to glare at one another before looking back at the pegasus.
"Why are you so stressed about others finding him here?" the changeling spoke first, eyeing the filly with justified suspicion.
"I-"
"Nevermind that. First, we need to discuss your bedding invitation, child."
"What? Ew, gross!" the changeling exclaimed next to me, her suspicioun now mixing with revulsion, which caused the filly to groan in exasperation and rub her temples with her hooves.
"For the last time, I don't want to have sex with Sombra! Since Sombra's back, I just wanted to-"
"Sombra's back and you want to have sex with him?! I thought I taught you better, Cozy Glow!" a raspy voice chided from somewhere down the tunnel which the changeling queen had come from. Before I could turn to see the newcomer, my hearing senses were brutalized by a scream that could put my Screaming Banshees to shame.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH...!"