//------------------------------// // Gallus – Envy and Jealousy // Story: One on One Philosophy with Discord // by CrackedInkWell //------------------------------// “Between the two of us,” I told Fluttershy as we walked out of that school dance… Enema Ball…? Amputee Ball…? The name of a dance party that I like so many of you didn’t bother to remember. The party just ended with the students causing a minor earthquake with a Yak dance. “Spike wearing a costume of himself while his face speaks through his mouth is something that I wouldn’t have done.” “Why?” She asked me. “It wasn’t chaotic enough for you?” “There’s a difference between being chaotic and having a lack of imagination. If Spike really wanted to be a proper DJ, then he should have worn one of those cheap unicorn with googly eyes costumes with a lot of heavy gold jewelry for some reason. Like everyone else is doing.” “That’s just DJ-Pon3.” “See! You get it!” She sighed before we exited out of the school. We walked out over the drawbridge across the moat when Fluttershy said, “Still, at least things turn out alright. And I know that dances aren’t your thing-” “On the contrary,” I told her, “I’m not against dances altogether, just the ones where everything goes according to plan and is perfect. This one, while it’s no Grand Galloping Gala incident, was still entertaining. And that’s good enough for me. Sure, Yona made a mess of things but that’s what made it all so sweet and interesting.” “I’m just relieved that everycreature had fun.” She told me. But then she suddenly stopped. At first, I didn’t know why until I leaned over to see what she was looking at. Her eyes were aimed towards the trees, but there was a very specific spot in which shadowed in the branches was a griffon hunched over. It didn’t take a stuck-up consoling Detective to piece together that it was Gallus, but what caught our attention was his body language. Hunched over, back against the school, his face buried in his talons. He was breathing shakingly which meant that whatever happened, it was hitting him pretty bad. “I should go talk to him,” Fluttershy said aloud, opening her wings. “Are you sure? Maybe I’m not that good with picking up subtle social cues, but he looks like he’s not interested in talk- and you’re gone.” No sooner had I finished that sentence that she had flown over to the tree. So, I slithered over through the air to see what was happening when Fluttershy started talking. I didn’t quite pick up what was going on, but it seemed that Gallus was in denial of something. When I did get within earshot, I heard something along the lines of: “I don’t wanna talk right now. I’m trying to deal with a couple of things, and I don’t need anycreature’s help.” “Help with what?” I asked, curling around the tree branch. My student looked at me with sharpening eyes. In the dim light of the night, I caught something. It was very small, and it shimmered for only but a brief second. But what I saw intrigued me. In his eyes, there was a shimmer of green, which could mean one of two things – either this was Chrysalis, which is impossible because I know exactly where Lady Insanity is – or… “Just leave me alone!” He snapped at us before flying away into the night. “Gallus!” Fluttershy called out and was about to go after him, but I stopped her by hanging onto her tail. “Discord, something’s wrong and we need to go after him!” “Not yet,” I told her. “I know you have some speech planned out, but this is not the moment to teach. After all… I think I know what his problem is.” “What?” “I saw it, in his eyes. He gave a look that I know anywhere. I don’t know what caused it, but I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on right now. He’s both envious and jealous at the same time.” Fluttershy blinked. “Envious? Jealous?” She looked up to where Gallus disappeared off to. “But why? What was wrong? Did someone hurt his feelings?” “Don’t know, but by the looks of it, he’s pretty hurt alright. He needs to be a good deal calmer before he’s ready to listen to anything. But don’t worry,” I told her, “when he’s cooled off, I’ll go talk to him. I think I’ve spotted an opportunity for a teaching moment.” “You think you can handle it?” I smirked, “Oh trust me, what I know, I think he needs to hear.” During my time teaching philosophy, I’ve learned that students tend to have a routine. For example, Smolder and Ocellus disappear every Friday with a tea set; Yona smashes a tree every Wednesday evening, and Gallus goes to Sugar Cube Corner for breakfast. So trying to find him wasn’t much difficulty on my part. At exactly 6:50 in the morning, all year round, Gallus would walk in, ask for a chocolate muffin, pay for it and get out. He remained faithful to this practice like an automaton on a Germane cuckoo clock. Even after his encounter of envy the night before, he walked into the bakery, asked for a chocolate muffin and paid a few bits for it. It was at that point that I decided to make my entrance. No sooner had he walked a little bit towards the door did he stopped to hear the sound of a music box slowly playing “Pop Goes the Weasel.” Gallus looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. He must have expected for something to suddenly pop out and scare him like Luna-in-a-Box. But when the tune finished – nothing seemed to happen. He gave a few looks around, shrugged, and proceeded to take a few more steps. “Why are you screaming?” I asked as I stood behind him. And predictable like his schedule, he screamed. It startled him so much he nearly dropped his breakfast. “Don’t! Do that!” He told me; his free claw clenched over his barrel. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!” “Maybe I’m still not used to these social norms,” I started, “but I might be under the delusion in thinking that what happened last night was considered rude.” He frowned, “You’re still on that?” At that moment, I could see the shining flash of envy. “Well since you’ve probably a little more chilled out now, I was hoping you could try to explain something in your own words.” My student raised an eyebrow. “Over what?” “What is the difference between Jealousy and Envy?” He blinked before his eyes shifted. “W-Why do you want to know?” “Because I saw something in you,” I said, slithering around him like a cobra. “Something that I’ve seen a few times before.” I leaned in closer. “You have a particular monster inside your head right now that’s eating away at you. And no, I’m not talking about some brain-eating parasite. Rather something that is easily detectable with having green eyes. Or to put it simply, you realized something that you want but can’t have.” “A-And why would you care?” He asked, jumping over me. “It’s none of your business.” He started to walk away. “Ah yes, because nocreature in the history of the world that has ever desired something and suppressed it had turned out great.” I flew up next to him while we exited the door. “And you still haven’t answered my question.” My student raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you already know the answer?” “Of course,” I nodded, “but I want to know if you do too. So, what’s the difference between Jealousy and Envy?” Gallus huffed, “This is one of those teaching moments where unless I go along with it, you’re never gonna go away, right?” “Pretty much.” One annoyed groan later, he answered while we went down the street. “Aren’t they two words that describe the same idea? That feeling when you want something, but deep down you can’t have it for whatever reason. Like, say that you’ve worked all day and all you get is a bit while someone else does the same amount of work and gets more.” “You’re on track. And while, yes, those words are indeed related to one another like brother and sister, they aren’t exactly the same being. Envy, from what I can get out of, is the emotion to covet something that someone else has. Jealousy is the fear that whatever something they have is stolen away from you.” “Didn’t I just say that?” “No, you got the spirit down but it’s a little confused.” “Oh, let me guess.” He rolled his eyes, “You’re basically here to tell me that if I do have those feelings then I should feel guilty instead of having them in the first place. That it’s irrational, stupid and I’m a bad griffon for having the audacity of holding onto them. Right?” “Quite the opposite, actually.” My answer was enough to nearly make him trip, nearly dropping his muffin again. “Wait- what!?” “Yep! I’m here to tell you that being envious is actually a really good thing, but you seem rather lost on what to do with it. Well, have no fear! Because the Philosophy expert is here to help!” His beak hung open for a good few moments before saying: “Okay, now I know you’re nuts! There’s no way in Tartarus that it’s a good thing.” “Ah, but do you know where that attitude comes from?” I questioned him. “Why do we think that Jealousy is a bad thing? Have you ever wondered how come that idea became so popular in the first place?” “Not really, no.” Gallus shook his head. “Field trip time!” I exclaimed, capturing us in a bubble and on my watch I pressed the rewind button on time. As things went backward, I told him, “Then let me take you back to the moment that the idea of Envy is bad came from. For this, we’ll have to go back in time. Back before Princess Bookworm was born, back before Luna was grounded on the moon, back before Equestria was founded at a time when the tribes were not quite united yet.” “Uh… Mr. Discord?” “Hm?” I noticed all the dinosaurs running backward so I pressed pause. “Okay, that’s a little too far back…” I pressed forward a little to try to get to the right scene in history before pressing play and our time bubble popped. All around us were trees of the Everfree. “There we go! Welcome to the year 99! Before Banishment of Nightmare Moon!” “So, what are we doing here?” Gallus questioned. “I don’t think Ponyville was even a thought at this point in… wherever this is supposed to be.” “True. For this, we’ll have to go up.” I said floating. “The lesson starts in the sky.” “Can I at least have breakfast on the way?” He asked, spreading his wings. While he ate, along the way we flew upwards towards the clouds, in particular, to Cloudsdale. “There’s a reason why I’ve brought you here,” I told him, “do you remember when I brought up Nietzsche?” “When you left us alone on the tallest mountain in the world?” He asked between bites, “How can I forget?” “Well, among the stuff he wrote, he argued that having Envy is essential for both individuals and societies as a whole. Only, he referred to Envy by using a Prench word that works just as well in Equestrian – Resentment. It emphasizes the humiliation we face in what we desire but cannot have. In one of his books, ‘On the Genealogy of Morality,’ he reveals the stunning conclusion on both Envy and Jealousy. To do so, he presents a radical interpretation of history. However, I thought that it would be more important to show you.” Soon we were above the cloud line and there was Cloudsdale in all its former glory. A gigantic city filled with towering white cloud columns, temples, racetracks, army barracks, palaces, forums, and crowded streets of Pegasi as far as the eye could see in every direction. While we fly, I began to explain to him: “Nietzsche opens up the argument that once upon a time in ancient civilizations, what was deemed positive or negative was defined in a direct and simple way by the powerful. In particular, those who controlled the military, or the nation’s financial, political, and religious authority, got to decide what actions and behaviors would be deemed as admirable.” Gallus raised an eyebrow, “Like what?” “Oh, lots of things. Thanks to these aristocrats’ attachments and tastes, stuff that was considered ‘good’ became a byword with what the powerful had valued. Things like winning everything, making lots of money, being confident in the bedroom, knowing everything, and securing fame were praised. Because these aristocrats were in line with their own made-up virtues, the powerful at this period slept quite well at night.” My student looked down at the other Pegasi below in the crowded streets. He frowned. “I guess that kinda makes sense. But what about everyone else? Just because they’re not rich doesn’t mean that they’re bad.” I smiled. “Many of them here, would agree with you. Luckily for us, this did not go unchallenged. A major part of the population you see was subjected to the whim of the very few on top. For they were too weak, too powerless and downtrodden to rise up in a revolution against them. This mass of stallions and mares who Nietzsche would sometimes with a dark sense of humor call them: ‘The Herd.’ These ponies increasingly wanted to avenge themselves against the powerful somehow. But at the same time, they lacked any means to do so without having power or money.” “Sounds like a creature I happen to know,” Gallus said dryly. “But I still don’t see how this has anything to do with Envy.” I stopped, hovering over a forum. “That’s because we’re about to witness the moment when things were turned up-side-down. For at some point, many historians still aren’t sure by who or how, someone in the Herd came up with an ingenious, if not insidious idea. Since these huddled masses can’t attack the powerful physically, they would use a more effective weapon. Do you know what that weapon is?” My student shrugged and asked me what. “Guilt,” I told him. “The likes of which that left countless aristocrats to lay awake in their beds at night. They came up with the ultimate weapon in this class warfare. And the army to lead that war, made their appearance here. At this very forum back when they started out so small.” “Who?” I told him to descend so that we can see. There is a corner of the forum where a bearded Pegasus with a small gathering grouped around. We stealthily made our way so that we would get a listen to what he has to say. The closer we got, the more apparent what kind of fellow this guy preaching is. He had a long, curly, unkempt beard with some desert robes waving a stick about. “Hear me!” The ancient entertainment began. “You Pegasi of Romane, covet not the behavior of the powerful! They are not good! Do not look to them for their greed for glory or money. Nor touch the unclean lust of whores. Nor seeking the knowledge of false prophets. Nor to seek fame through vanity! For they shall be the keys to the kingdom of suffering! Those who have power, do not look to them, but to the poor! They, the majority of you, are the path to paradise. For it is they who are noble in poverty. You who are not corrupted by teachers, for you are the sincerest of us all. You who walk not in the paths of lust, for you are chaste. And you, who are unable to rise in anger against your enemy, for you have mastered forgiveness! Be comforted you who are oppressed, for those who have dominion over you shall know justice!” “Okay, clear off!” A Pegasi praetorian guard shouted, pointing a spear at him. “That’s enough from you!” “Praise Celestia, as my message has been heard!” It was at this moment I decided to pull Gallus away. “What the hay was that about?” He asked. “What you’ve just witnessed was the beginning of what made those upper-crust ponies unable to sleep at night. From this moment on, the Herd would take their revenge by assaulting their consciences. A key to this overthrow started – at least to Nietzsche – the ideology that came from the cult of Celestia. This cult, for the philosopher, has brilliantly used their weapon of guilt to their advantage as a frightening instrument of revenge. Dreamt up by the weak so that they could make the strong feel guilty for their advantages that they have.” “So that’s it?” My griffon student questioned, raising an eyebrow. “They managed to change everything just by making a few ponies guilty?” “Ah! That is the cult’s genius strategy! To use euphemisms, they simply renamed the things that once were the bad stuff as everything associated with the powerful. All the while, sanctifying everything good with what the Herd was identified with.” “What’s a euphemism?” “Simply put, it’s the method of twisting the language into something more… presentable. To lie without being able to lie, as it were. Under this new moral scheme, being flat broke was turned into ‘noble poverty.’ Being uneducated became ‘sincerity.’ Not being able to bed whatever that walks changed into ‘chastity.’ And even not being able to take up revenge or justice on those that wronged you became ‘forgiveness.’ Because of how envious over what the Herd couldn’t have, the cult made the powerful feel untenably guilty because the paradise in the sky now belonged to the weak, the meek, the chaste, the poor and the persecuted.” “Let me guess.” He rolled his eyes. “As soon as they managed to convince everyone to switch the meaning of good and evil, Envy was changed into a bad thing so the cult couldn’t be overthrown again, right?” “You know this game!” I chuckled, eyeing a mosaic on the wall. So taking a claw to cut into the layer of reality, I stepped into the mosaic, gesturing over to my student to follow in all my squarey glory. He followed after me, he too turning into cubes. “Well, you could say that Nietzsche was almost impressed by this power grab by the cult. Especially how they used language as a tool to take control of what was impossible to move…. Almost.” “Almost?” “Truth be told, he frowned on the side effects that were unleashed upon civilization.” “Such as?” “Well, he once wrote, in an irritable tone, ‘The stallion of Ressentiment is neither upright nor naïve, nor honest and straight with himself. His soul squints; his mind loves dark corners, secret paths, and back doors.’” “So, in other words, by removing envy, you also remove being honest with yourself?” “Oh, the Apples would shout, ‘No duh Sherlock!’ But yes. To the philosopher, the psychological health of both individuals and society depends on being able to resist belittling what one wants but can’t have. It involves resisting the urge to deny the gaps in one’s life for the sake of inner convenience. For him, it is always better to say what one wishes to be and have than to twist one’s entire personality to avoid discomfort. “Oh! And speaking of discomfort!” I said before freezing the mosaic for a good thousand years, give or take a few hundred before being moved into a history museum in Manehattan before cracking out of it and falling over onto the floor. “Ah, that’s better.” “What the hay just happen!?” Gallus asked politely to the echo of the empty museum. “Well, I don’t want to pay extra for the time travel so… We took a long way home, but hey, we’re back… I think. Now, where was I again?” “Something about not being honest with yourself,” my student answered, shaking off the dust, “and being genuine about what you feel and want, I think?” At this point, he was slapping the side of his head for a cloud of dust to come out of his ear. “So, was that Nietzsche guy advocating for what those rich and powerful had in the past before the cult came about?” “Not really. But I can see why you might think that. His criticism seems harsh, especially towards the cult. You have to remember that the philosopher himself was never an aristocrat. He constantly lacked money, chances to get laid, an audience, real friends even. However, despite his suffering, he was committed to being honest with himself. He never shrinks away from admitting that he would love to be more heroic and braver but lacked that talent and skills to do so. Now, with that in mind…” With a clap of my talon/paw, the museum’s walls shook and contorted, corners folded in on themselves, columns bent over, the floor flipped over and the ceiling turned under until the setting changed entirely to that of the school dance from last night. We found ourselves being cradled in a chandelier above the dancers. “How the hay did we get here?” my student asked, looking all around. He noticed that we were at the point in the dance where Yona had rejoined the ball and was now teaching the school how to make a mini earthquake. And at a critical moment, we spotted Gallus of the past storming off, to which, I snapped my talon to freeze time. “So, with all of that in mind,” I told him, slithering out and floating towards the other Gallus that was heading towards the door. “Tell me, my student, now that you know what envy and jealousy are, and where the idea came from, what is the cause of getting green-eyed?” I questioned, “What exactly do you feel you want but couldn’t have?” My student glided down to the floor. “Mr. Discord, why did you bring me here?” “Because for two reasons. Firstly, I think this was the very moment when that envy hit you so hard, so personal, that you couldn’t confront it about it. This was the moment, I think, was when you did the unwise thing and ran away from that part of yourself you desired. You were presented with something that you couldn’t bear: to be honest with yourself. Now, what exactly could it be?” While Gallus stayed silent, for a brief moment, his eyes quickly glanced over towards the answer. I looked over and spied a particular pair – Sandbar and Yona dancing together. Ah, now it’s all coming together. “You know what?” I told him, “You don’t have to tell me. I can see it in your eyes, right now, that green-eyed monster lurking. Chances are, you were probably taught at a young age to be ashamed and guilty of having that emotion. Such a pity, really?” Gallus sharpened his eyes at me. “What do you mean?” he asked bitterly. “Envy, my student, is an important emotion that exists in everycreature for a good reason. And that reason? That feeling you have right now is pinpointing at what exactly you want. Do you hear that whisper in your mind? It’s a call to action that should be heeded. To be listened to. Because it contains an important message about what you ought to do for the rest of your life. Look past your humiliation, and you will the clues as to what you might do next.” He folded his arms, this time taking a longer look at the couple on the dancefloor. “Okay, fine! I am envious! I got it bad, so what do you want me to do about it!? I’m already too late to do anything at this point, again.” “If I were you,” I replied, pulling out a blank black book out of thin air. “I’d use this.” Handing it over to him, I explained: “This is an envy diary. Every time you feel that emotion that pesters about what you want but is out of your reach, write it down. Because the more you do so, the more you’ll piece together a future you that’s trying to get out. Once you identify what exactly you want, then you could, as Fluttershy would put it, take baby steps towards it. Sure, maybe you won’t get who you have a crush on, or get rich, or have respectability overnight. But if I were you,” I leaned in, “I’d take more realistic, manageable steps towards that version of your life you’re attracted towards.” Gallus sighed, “Okay but… what about now? Yes, there is something here that I want to have… but can’t… not…” he opened a wing towards his friends. “Which leads to my second reason why I brought you here. I’ve given you a rare, second chance. From now on, Gallus, it’s time for you to do something far more productive. You need to become more diligent, careful student of your most persistent envious feelings. It’s trying to tell you something.” Leaning up, I readied my lion’s paw to snap, “I suggest you start listening.” With a snap, everything moved again. From the corner of our eyes, the other Gallus had stormed out. “So, you're envious,” I told my student, “now, what are you gonna do about it?” Gallus looked between the couple on the dance floor and the other-self that walked out. He looked down at the book in his claw and sighed. “You’re right… I should have been more honest with myself. Especially with them… But it’s not gonna be easy.” “Maybe you won’t get what you desired,” I told him, “but no one has ever made progress by not even addressing what’s wrong and asking what to do about it.” “Thanks, Mr. Discord,” he nodded as he walked towards Sandbar and Yona while I made my escape before creating a time paradox by running into myself. So, I hopscotched towards the next day. I didn’t hear anything from Gallus until lunchtime when I heard a knock on my classroom door. So, taking my sushi bar with me, I opened the door with my tail. He blinked. “Am I interrupting something?” “Not really,” I told him, flying a prehistoric monstrosity, “just sitting down for lunch. You?” “Well… I’m gonna make this short. I just wanna come by and say… thanks.” I stopped, “Over?” “What we’ve talked about. I was talking to Sandbar and Yona all night and… well, once I’ve managed to open up the fact that I was jealous, they helped me out. Not in a way I expected to, they’re gonna be going on a date soon, but… let’s just say that they gave me a sense of direction. I still have a way to go, but at least the lesson you gave helped me figure out what exactly I should be doing. So… thanks.” I smiled. “Hey, if you’re in need of wisdom, you know where to find me.” He thanked me once again, and I returned to making lunch.