//------------------------------// // 03 - The Great One // Story: EQUESTRIA GIRLS: Sunset's Not-Saga // by Soufriere //------------------------------// Sunset Shimmer lay on her couch as her television droned out some daytime drivel ostensibly geared towards women, but she did not feel like it spoke to her. Granted this was how she felt about most things, but this show more so than most. She slowly stretched her right arm into the air to swat at imaginary elves. Across the room on the TV, the four older ladies around the table were talking about the relative merits of Orangeglow, the businessman who had announced his intention to run for Governor on a platform of punishing illegal immigrants. This struck Sunset as odd, since she was the only illegal immigrant in Aristeque of whom she was aware. Still, not worth worrying about. The building manager had finally popped in the day before, literally, with a contractor to fix the holes in the roof. How a single X of wood planks worked, she had no idea, but figured it was better not to question it. Better not to question any of the previous chapter’s events. Wait. What did her brain mean by ‘chapter’? Don’t. Think. About. It. She sighed as she absentmindedly regarded her body. With her right hand, she cupped one of her breasts, still hidden underneath her shirt, and played with it for about seventeen seconds. “Boing, de-boing, de-boing, de-boing,” Sunset chanted aloud to no one. That bit of fun over with, she decided she needed some food, as the contents of her refrigerator had been reduced to a single tube of wasabi paste and a box of baking soda. Her bare feet made ‘frrit’ sounds as they rhythmically separated themselves from the linoleum in her kitchen as she walked across, mildly miffed. Despite her best efforts, she was unable to remove all of the sticky left behind after Jackson met his untimely demise. But, wearing socks would have been worse. She slipped on some white socks, then her boots which rose far higher up her legs, donned Sasha (her leather jacket without an inner liner), and left her apartment. Sunset immediately found herself in Connemara Square Park, several blocks northeast of her home. She had no idea how she got there and frankly didn’t care. There were many people around, very flat people speaking in robotic voices about nothing in particular. Finding a bench, Sunset decided she would sit down and people-watch. However, before she could do that, she was approached by a girl she knew all too well and wasn’t exactly pleased to see. A blue-skinned girl with silvery-bluish hair and a blue skirt. She also looked oddly flat. “Hello, Trixie,” Sunset said with absolutely zero enthusiasm. Trixie did not miss a beat. “I’m going to stand here for five hours and explain to you in excruciating detail how superior I am to you in every single aspect,” she said in a robotic affect. Sunset stared at Trixie and blinked. “This feels almost seven years out of date. Was I really that much of a prick when I tutored you in junior high? Whatever. Your words are as empty as your future.” “Explain yourself,” Trixie retorted. Sunset did so. “I’m bored, girlie. This conversation is over.” Just then, a bald eagle swooped in. However, before it could sink its talons into Trixie’s head, a voice deeper than the Mariana Trench came out of the core of its being and the world around them distorted into a scorched mess. “There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension,” it said as it slowly hovered above Trixie. “You’re a damn eagle,” Sunset and Trixie said in unison. The eagle was not finished. “I am… APPUL.” At that, the eagle instantly transformed into the giant red apple Sunset had encountered in her apartment in the previous chapter. All Sunset Shimmer could do was watch as gravity took over and the apple crushed Trixie under its own weight. “Well, that was pointless,” Sunset remarked to no one in particular. “My thoughts exactly,” replied Twilight Sparkle, who had appeared out of nowhere, and seemed just as flat and robotic as everyone else. Sunset looked over to her in mild surprise. “How did you…?” “We must summon The Great One,” Twilight interrupted. “The who the what now?” asked Sunset. Twilight pulled out a flute and fluted out a dozen or so quick notes, then disappeared. All of a sudden the heavens parted and a celestial orchestra began playing “Also Sprach Zarathustra”. Sunset stared in mild confusion and, though she would never admit it, a little bit of awe until the giant floating head of Shaquille O’Neal appeared, smiling down on the world. “The Great One…” Sunset said more to herself than anyone. Somewhere off in the distance, Lyra Heartstrings barked. The giant apple turned its best side to face The Great One and, after a few moments of consideration, decided to nope its way out of the park, revealing a crushed Trixie on the ground in its wake. “Hey Trixie?” Sunset asked her former pupil. “You alright?” A sound like air slowly escaping a balloon filled the area as Trixie flew up out of the hole, circling around Sunset two or three times as her crushed form slowly uncrumpled, then promptly smashed into a nearby tree. “Yeah, you’ll be fine,” Sunset said as she flagged down a bus to get her back home.