//------------------------------// // Chapter 32 - Bad Medicine // Story: Further Tales From Day Court // by Blade Star //------------------------------// As much as it pains me to say it, I am not a young man any more. I turned sixty one last year, and realistically, I’m getting close to retirement age. And while once upon a time, I was a gifted soldier with quick reflexes, nowadays, I’m just an old boy past his prime. As such, I’m starting to come across all sorts of little niggles with my mortal coil. I bruise a bit easier, I certainly can’t keep up with ponies at a run, and of course, I find myself needing reading glasses for anything smaller than newspaper headlines. Of course, it’s the natural order of things. As the good book says, there is a time for everything, and while I don’t plan on dying any time soon, I do know I have to take things a little easier. I certainly think I’d have a harder time taking on Tirek as I did when he first got loose, and there’s no way I’d be up to that same hand to hand combat I saw in Canterlot during the Storm King’s invasion. I’m not infirm by any means mind you; I can still hold my own, I just have to remember, and occasionally remind myself that I’m not a young man any more. Today’s chief complaint was my back. I’ve had some pains in there for a few days now. I think it’s partly my own fault due to bad posture over the years, but I also think it’s being caused by the mattress on my bed. It’s high time Margaret and I get a new one really. It wasn’t exceptionally painful, but getting up and sitting down was causing me to noticeably wince, and I had a hard time bending down or kneeling. Luckily, in my job, none of those are really required much. Still, it was damn annoying and irritating. While I might have accepted my mortality, that didn’t mean I liked being reminded of it in every waking moment. I had hoped that it would just go away on its own, or at least that the pain would lessen. But if anything, it was getting worse as time went on, and I was now left with little choice but to go to the doctor’s office. “It’s about time you did,” Margaret said to me over breakfast. “You’ve been moaning on and on about your back for the last two weeks. I’m amazed you haven’t gone already.” Picking up a copy of the local rag, I rolled my eyes. “Come on, dear,” I replied. “You know how I feel about doctors and hospitals.” Margaret sighed in exasperation. “I know, I know,” she said. “But Ponyville General isn’t The Manor. They’re qualified up there, and Dr Horse really knows his stuff.” The Manor, was The Manor Hospital in the Midlands; the local A&E department when we were still living there. I both hated and feared that place for one simple reason; every single member of both my family and Margaret's who had gone in there, had come out in a box within seventy two hours. The place was infamous for its poor management, poor sanitation and general incompetence on the part of its staff. Margaret’s dad died in there as a result of both hospital infections, and also because the idiot nurse who was supposed to be looking after him screwed up his IV drip, missing the vein completely, and didn’t notice until he was so dehydrated it was far too late. Then when he went into arrest, despite the DNR the old man had, they jumped up on him and broke most of his ribs, making him look oh so peaceful for the Chapel of Rest. So yes, I don’t much care for hospitals, doctors, or anything medical really, and do my best to look after myself, only going to see a quack as a last resort. “I’ll pop in and see Nurse Redheart tomorrow,” I promised. “In the meantime, at least take some paracetamol,” my wife suggested. “It should take the edge off. I’ll get some for you.” Getting up, she went into the hall and headed upstairs to the bathroom and rooted around in the medicine cabinet. We’re both getting to that point where we have something of a pharmacy of our own in there now, particularly with the blood thinners the memsahib’s on. Returning a moment later, she tossed me a packet of Equestria’s version of Neurofen. It did help a little, at least dulling the pain, but it was still pretty uncomfortable. With any luck, a visit to Ponyville General tomorrow should land me with something a bit stronger. Who knows, Horse might even hook me up with some of his own stash. Celestia knows he owes me for bailing him out the last time. So the next day, after breakfast with my wife, I grabbed my coat and set off for Ponyville General Hospital. It honestly surprises me that Ponyville has its own hospital. I mean, I would understand the place having a doctor’s surgery, and possibly even an on-call doctor that made house calls, but it always struck me as a little disproportionate for the small town to have a fully fledged accident and emergency department. Although I suppose, given the alarming regularity with which weird stuff happens around here, it does sort of make sense. It certainly explains why the place is outfitted to cope with a level three biohazard contamination event, and has enough staff to cope with a Holby City series finale. Anyway, I set out to drop in at the walk in clinic. The hospital is on the other end of town, quite on its own really, with pretty large grounds around it. I think at one point it may have been a country estate, and later converted to serve as a hospital. It certainly didn’t look like the classic pseudo post-soviet 1980’s concrete monstrosities that passed for hospitals back home. Although I must confess, I do miss socialised medicine. While Equestria doesn’t have the same problems as the Americans, buying health insurance has become something I’ve needed to add to my annual to do list. At this time in the morning, it was pretty quiet. Few ponies were up and about in the early hours on a Saturday. There were a few ponies about though, particularly pegasi buzzing about in the skies. I had no doubt that the Apples would also be up and about tending to their farm, while Fluttershy would be giving breakfast to all her animal friends. Speaking of, she’s really come into her own this past year. For a good long while, she had her own sort of mini vet clinic operating out of her cottage that also served as something of a hotel for all sorts of animals. But with the opening of Sweet Feather Sanctuary, her own animal sanctuary, built not too far from her cottage, she’s really gone all in for the All Creatures Great and Small business. The place is only rivalled by Canterlot’s own royal gardens in terms of the sheer variety of animals. There’s everything from common garden birds, rabbits, birds of prey, to bears, snakes, and even elephants and giraffes. How she manages to care for them, I have no idea. Remember, she also has to devote a good chunk of her time to her new career in teaching at the school too. And don’t even get me started on taking care of Discord. In short, that’s a whole lot of plates for one mare to be spinning. Although, having said that, they all do in one way or another. Twilight has her job as princess, librarian, and headmare. Applejack runs her farm, plus teaching. Rarity has her own little mini fashion empire, plus caring for Sweetie Belle. Pinkie has her job at Sugarcube Corner, never mind planning parties for pretty much everypony. And Rainbow Dash is an active duty Wonderbolt on thirty minute standby, plus the captain of the local weather team. Honestly, all of them need to really look at getting some ‘me’ time at some point. And that’s forgetting the occasional save the world scenario they get caught up in. But back to Fluttershy, my daughter’s best and first friend in Equestria. She really has been running herself ragged of late. I mean, feeding and caring for all those animals would be enough on its own, but she even has blooming group therapy sessions for them. No pony, not even an element of harmony can keep up that pace forever. It was as I was pondering this that I became conscious of the signature whooshing sound of a pegasus in flight, and it seemed to be getting awfully close for comfort. If I’d only looked up a couple of seconds earlier, I might have had a chance to dodge. “Lookout!” Derpy called as she spiralled down towards me. The pegasus mare, her saddlebags still streaming mail from both sides, had corkscrewed down and was now flying pretty much right at me at a speed far faster than I was comfortable with. One of the many ‘benefits’ of old age is that your reflexes go. So by the time I’d processed the impending disaster, the adorable little pony had ploughed into me at a good twenty miles an hour, sending me flying onto my back and knocking the wind out of me. “Argh, sod it!” I snarled, more to myself than anything else. I could never be cross with Derpy. She’d effectively tackled me, hitting my right in the chest, sending us both flying temporarily, and landing me a good few feet away on my back, with a now very bewildered pegasus pony sitting on top of me, looking like a perplexed St Bernard. “Oh, sorry, Mr. Owen,” she said apologetically, as her two eyes briefly aligned themselves to look at me, “I think I overloaded myself back at the post office. Are you okay?” I groaned a little, gently nudging the pegasus off me as I sat up. “I’m fine, Derpy,” I replied, fairly confident nothing was broken. “Are you alright? You ran into me at a fair rate of knots.” Derpy smiled, instantly making me feel better. “Oh I’ve had way worse crashes than that,” she reassured me. “It takes a lot more than that to put a mailmare out of commission.” Smiling, I got to my feet, wincing as my back decided to shoot a new wave of pain up my spine. “Here,” I said, as I stretched a little. “Let me give you a hand clearing up.” So the two of us set to work, picking up letters, in what I’m sure was a gross violation of data protection laws. I was starting to feel a touch sore in my gut by the time we were done, but I was none the worse for wear really. Like Derpy, I’ve taken worse knocks over the years. I couldn’t help but find the whole thing a little funny. Just one of the surreal every day events that has become part of my life now; literally running into an adorable four foot tall pegasus. Some ponies get cross with Derpy when she crash-lands or makes a mistake, but I really can’t see how anypony can be so black hearted. I still remember having to physically hold back Bones from knocking Blueblood inside out after he called Derpy a stupid wall eyed retard to her face. She’s a really sweet gal, and when it comes down to it, is very good at her job. She has a kind heart too, caring deeply for her daughter, the equally adorably unicorn filly, Dinky. The two of us got to talking about the adorable little girl as we finished collecting half of Ponyville’s mail that had been scattered from here to Timbuktu. “Dinky’s really enjoying school,” Derpy was saying. “She really gets on well with Margaret, and Cheerilee too. And ever since the Cutie Mark Crusaders were able to convince Diamond Tiara to not be such a bully, school has gotten a lot better for them.” Ah yes, my wife had told me about Diamond Tiara. Until not so long ago, she was quite the mean little bully at school, along with her best friend Silver Spoon. The both of them came from what passes for money in Ponyville. Diamond’s father was Filthy Rich; owner of Barnyard Bargains. And while he doted on his daughter, the problem was his wife, Spoiled Rich. She was the one with the real mean streak, and was in general an abusive parent, being cold and distant toward her daughter, resulting in the bad behaviour towards her classmates, including Dinky. But Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were able to help her and redeemed her somewhat. Ever since then, things have been pretty quiet at the school. “Oh, it’s always nice to see the kids getting along,” I said as I passed her the last couple of letters. “And how have you been keeping, Derpy? I know I haven’t had a chance to chat in a while.” The pegasus shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, not too bad I suppose. Although I got to see Princess Celestia and Princess Luna not so long ago. The two of them were at a post office when I was making a delivery, and the post master asked me to make a quick delivery for them. It was kinda strange really. Princess Luna posted a letter to Princess Celestia, but they were standing right next to each other. So the letter just got stamped and I handed it to her. She seemed really excited about it for some reason.” I smiled at that. “That’s just Luna’s way, Derpy,” I reassured her. “You know with her having been gone for a thousand years, there’s quite a lot of mundane stuff that we all just accept that she finds fascinating, and I know the postal service is one of them. She even has quite the stamp collection going. But you didn’t hear that from me.” Luna’s stamp collection was indeed something of a state secret since she told her big sister about it. Celestia of course, found her younger sibling’s antics endearing, but the giggling was not taken well by the Princess of the Night, who ordered me to tell no one. Naturally, I still use it from time to time to tease her, as does Discord, who found out in his own way. Derpy certainly didn’t laugh at it, but was instead just a little touched that her princess would take such an interest in her profession, which is sadly so often overlooked in this modern age as just another convenience. After making sure Derpy had all her mail squared away again, I sent her on her way to continue with her rounds, although she was kind enough to hand deliver some of my own mail, which both saved her a stop on her route, and guaranteed I picked up my new mail promptly. Heading back on the path, I continued on my way to the hospital, and butterflies once again decided to nest in my stomach. I did my best to ignore it. Like Margaret said, this wasn’t the NHS I was dealing with her. The doctors and nurses had actual qualifications, could speak proper Ponish, and didn’t spend all their time huddled outside around burning rubbish bins demanding yet more money from the government. I soon found myself in front of the large stately home that now served as the hospital. A large red cross on a white background was displayed prominently on the front of the building, reminding me of an old field hospital from the last war, and with the traditional red lantern hanging by the door. Just as police stations have a blue lantern, in days gone by, a doctor’s office would have a red one. The resources inside were far greater than any RAMC establishment and would certainly have shamed The Manor. Automatic doors, an uncommon sight in Equestria, slid open as I walked into the clean, well kept lobby. It was fairly quiet this early on in the morning. Ponyville’s population doesn’t exactly have heavy medical requirements. It wasn’t like back home, where you had an ageing population that were stretching all services to breaking point and hogging all the appointments and antibiotics. Here, it was quite possible to simply stop by the free clinic that they had each day with Nurse Redheart or Doctor Horse. And if anything serious did come up, they were quite good at pencilling you in for an appointment in the near future. I found Nurse Tender Heart on the reception desk, the youngest of the two senior nurses, and far less intimidating that Redheart, who reminds me of an old school matron. She was dealing with my old enemy paperwork as I walked in, a pencil grasped in her teeth. She set it down as I walked up to the desk. “Good morning, Mr. Owen,” she said brightly. “How can I help you today?” “I’m just looking to see whoever is running clinic today, please,” I said, leaning slightly on the desk to take some pressure off my back. Tender Heart nodded. “Well, Nurse Redheart is on duty in the clinic today. She’s with another patient right now, but she should be free shortly. I’ll take a few details from you while we wait if that’s alright.” “Sure,” I replied. Tender Heart pulled out a clipboard and set to work. She confirmed a few details, my age, date of birth, a few lifestyle questions, such as smoking and alcohol intake, and finally took a brief summary of the reason for my visit. It saved Redheart having to ask a load of questions and kept appointments moving. I explained that I’d been having some back pain for the last couple of weeks. Tender Heart dutifully jotted all of this down and then invited me to take a seat while her colleague finished dealing with another patient. I wasn’t kept waiting too long. I barely had time to pick up one of the nearby magazines that were left around for patients to read when the door to the exam room opened and Cranky Doodle, one of Ponyville’s two resident donkeys came out, followed by Nurse Redheart. The grouchy old coot is pretty much a neighbour of mine. He lives just across the way with his wife Matilda. We get on well enough as neighbours, but he prefers to mostly keep to himself. Redheart said something to him that I didn’t bother listening to. It wasn’t really my business anyway. After she sent him on his way, she called me over. “If you’d like to come this way, Mr. Owen,” she said sternly as she picked up my chart from Tender Heart. Like I said before, Redheart is your classic old fashioned hospital matron. Her word is very much law under this roof, and there was no way I was going to keep her waiting. Getting to my feet, I followed her inside. The exam room was just what you’d expect; a fairly small room with a hospital bed in the centre, as well as a small desk for Redheart to work at. The walls were covered with cabinets, mostly locked, which held various medical tools and equipment. Following her inside, Redheart closed the door. Despite her smaller size, she still had the ability to intimidate, and I once again remembered my fear of hospitals. “So, I understand you’re experiencing some back pain?” she said, as she glanced over my chart with a practised eye. “Yes,” I replied, sitting down on the slightly too low bed, and wincing a little. “I’m fine standing up or sitting down; it’s moving around that does it, things like getting on and off the train at Canterlot.” Redheart frowned. “Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that most of the seats in Equestria weren’t really built with you in mind,” she said. “I know you have your custom made furniture at home, and presumably you have something similar in your office, but a lot of day to day activities would put a real strain on a biped.” She did make a good point. Most places we went to weren’t exactly suitable. Chairs and benches were too low, and don’t even get me started on those cushion seats ponies seem to be do fond of. Then there’s all the ducking I have to do to get through some lower doorways. The castle isn’t too bad, considering I’m about the same height as Tia, but a lot of other places did have me hunching down somewhat. I suppose being shorter at five foot, it was less of a problem for Margaret. “So what do you suggest?” I asked. Redheart thought. “Well, sadly, I can’t redesign all of Equestria to accommodate you,” she said with just a hint of sarcasm. “However, I can suggest something for the pain and to help reduce the inflammation.” Pulling out her prescription pad, she jotted down a few things before tearing it off and handing it to me. Curiously, I could actually read her writing. “I can prescribe a herbal remedy to help deal with the pain, and a cooling lotion to reduce the inflammation.” “Grand,” I said, taking the sheet of paper from her. “So I take it just get this filled out at the pharmacy then?” Redheart smiled. “In a manner of speaking,” she replied. “You’ll find everything you need over at Zecora’s. She’s been most helpful recently with remedies for more than couple of my patients. I’m trying to convince Dr. Horse to let us hire her as a pharmacist.” “Wait,” I said, with no small amount of surprise. “So you’re telling me I have to trek all the way into the Everfree Forest, risking timberwolves, cockatrices, and a massive ursa major just to fill my prescription?” “You always said we were better than the NHS,” Redheart replied. So, with a prescription in hand, I once again set off on a journey. It would be quite a trek to Zecora’s, the Everfree’s flora and fauna notwithstanding. I was on one side of Ponyville, away from the Everfree and closer to Canterlot. The hospital, as I’ve said, is quite out on its own, away from the town proper, being a former estate. I really must ask Celestia when I get a chance which noble it was who once owned it. The Everfree Forest though, was on the other side of town, as was Sweet Apple Acres and Fluttershy’s cottage, meaning I either had to go back through town or go on a bit of a walk. Well, Margaret’s always saying I could use the exercise, considering how much of my job involves sitting down in a comfy chair, so I opted for the longer route. The advantage was that I wouldn’t have to go back through a now busy Ponyville; it was market day after all, and I could enjoy the scenery of the surrounding beautiful countryside. It was an gorgeous sunny day after all. And when was the last time I just went for a walk? Given all that had gone on over the past couple of weeks, it would be nice to just relax and be alone with my thoughts for a while. There were a few paths and roads that skirted around the edge of Ponyville, and I took one of these as I left the hospital grounds. Being nestled as it is, deep in a valley, Ponyville’s surroundings as mostly open flatlands, in contrast to the hilly Welsh countryside I’d previously lived in before we ended up here. Trust me, up and down repeated ad naseum is not a recipe for a relaxing stroll. I always used to joke that the Dutch holidaymakers who would visit the area every summer only came for the novelty of the hills. The weather was warm, but there was a slight breeze blowing to make sure you didn’t get too hot, and the grass was soft underfoot. I’ll always maintain that England is God’s own country, but Equestria certainly comes a close second, being just as much a green and pleasant land. A few birds flittered to and fro overhead, the odd squirrel or rabbit would occasionally appear in front of me, and on the wind, I could hear the clock in town striking the hour. Before too long though, I came around to the other side of Ponyville, having crossed the river, and approached the foreboding Everfree Forest. I’ve been in there once or twice, but I always avoid the place if I can help it, more so now that the Tree of Harmony was no longer holding back the woods in its new form. Starswirl had said that he’d done something to rein the place in, and he did create the Tree after all, but I still didn’t like the looks of Equestria’s answer to the Wild Wood. And just like in The Wind in the Willows, while the place itself isn’t evil or anything, and plenty of the creatures within are harmless, there are others who would eat you as soon as look at you, or worse. Still, Zecora had been out here, on her own for years, and remained quite safe in her home, so obviously it could be done. And I’d been alright when I first found myself in there. So, swallowing my fear, and noticing that it was far less than my fear of hospitals, I pushed a few branches out of the way, and headed inside. There’s not really too much I can say about my trip through the Everfree Forest, apart from the fact that it was uneventful. I could give you a blow by blow account of the trip, but I think it would be rather boring, given that the highlight would be that I tripped on a exposed tree root at one point and almost lost my balance. Other than that, apart from the feeling of slight dread that I felt whenever I went near the place, it was all quiet. I suspect things got noticeably safer as I neared Zecora’s home. It was a well known fact that she could look after herself in this place, and most predators gave her a wide berth as a result. In reality, the trip was probably no more dangerous than walking through the woods in America. Sure there were bears, or wolves or cougars (and not the fun kind), but the odds of you running into one were pretty remote, and even if you did, they’d tend to leave you alone unless provoked. I didn’t see or feel anything prowling around near me. And let’s not forget, a few months ago, Twilight and her friends came here on a camping trip of all things. And with Starswirl and the restored Tree keeping the forest’s wilder nature at bay, the place was in reality, as safe as White Tail Woods, just a little darker. Amongst the darkness though, there was the shining light given off by Zecora’s home. It was somewhat like Twilight’s old library, in that it was partly built out of a vast old tree, adorned with small lanterns. It looked a little unsettling at first, with gnarled, twisted branches, and the door and two windows seeming to form an eerie face. I can certainly see why some ponies once thought Zecora to be a witch at one point. Still, while she could be enigmatic at times, she was definitely one of the good guys. Her knowledge of potions is more than impressive. She’s treated Poison Joke contamination, an outbreak of Cutie Pox, and even once gave Twilight a potion that allowed her to see past events and learn about the Tree of Harmony. So I was fairly confident she could whip up something to deal with some back pain. Either that or I might ask Fluttershy where Treehugger is. Knocking on the wooden door with my knuckle, I called out to the zebra inside. “Zecora, it’s Roger. Nurse Redheart sent me up here.” A moment later, and the door opened to reveal Zecora. She’s the average size for a pony. Although unlike a pony, her hide is the classic black and white stripes. Her mane is done up in a mohawk, giving her an extra couple inches of height. Around her neck and forelegs are gold bands, and her cutie mark (at least I think it’s a cutie mark, for all I know it may just be a cultural thing, but I’m too polite to ask) was a spiral pattern. Her blue eyes fixed themselves on me for a moment as she smiled up at me. “Roger, welcome to you,” she said in that African sounding accent of hers. “Come inside, and I shall fetch you a brew.” God I love that clever on the fly rhyming of hers. The zebra stepped back from the threshold, allowing me inside. Zecora lives very simply. Her home is just a single room, centred around a large stewing pot, in which she always seems to be mixing something or other together. Along the walls were shelves filled with all sorts of unusual ingredients. It hard to determine what was used for potions, and what was just provisions for living out here. For decoration, there were a variety of Zebrican works of art, mainly masks, as well as what looked like a dream catch from the buffalo. Finally, on a sort of raised platform, which reminded me of the compartment in a camper-van, was a hammock like bed. Zecora returned to the pot in the centre, under which a fire was steadily going. Setting out two cups with tribal designs on them, she grabbed a ladle in her teeth and carefully poured out two servings, one for me, and one for herself. She pushed one cup towards me with her nose. “What’s this then?” I asked, taking a look at the hot, golden red liquid within. “A pleasant new herbal blend. With the added bonus of helping injured bones to mend.” I took a sip of the liquid and quickly felt the effect. It tasted not too different from any other herbal tea I’ve come across, but that was the last thing on my mind. Why you ask? Well, simple; my back pain was gone, as in poof, vanished. I’d only taken a brief sip of whatever potion she’d cooked up, and it had worked like a charm. However, as I enjoyed this new, pain free existence, I became cognisant of one rather important fact. I’d not had a chance to tell Zecora precisely why I was here, and the prescription Redheart gave me was still in my jacket pocket. And yet Zecora clearly had this stuff waiting for me just as I walked in. “How did you know I had back problems?” I asked in surprise as I set my cup down. Zecora chuckled. “You are not the only one who sometimes over exerts. Sometimes, after a long day of work, I find that it is my shoulder that hurts.” True enough, I suppose, I thought to myself. Zecora may live very simply, and more in harmony with nature than anypony else, but it is a difficult and demanding life at times, I have no doubt. She was kind enough to provide me with a decent sized pouch of tea leaves to tide me over, but counselled me to heed Nurse Redheart’s advice and try to avoid putting any unnecessary strain on my back. After all, this remedy of hers was a treatment, not a cure. It seemed a bit rude of me to just take off and leave, so I opted to stay a while and chat with the zebra. She may come across as mysterious and enigmatic, but she reminds me a lot of Celestia, having quite the mischievous side to her and is wonderfully friendly. We swapped a few interesting stories; Zecora had plenty of them from her time teaching Apple Bloom about potions, apparently the filly is well on her way to becoming a skilled chemist at this point. We also talked about our mutual friend; Discord. He seems to like Zecora too, what with her being something of an outsider like himself, and he certainly enjoys her willingness to occasionally step outside social norms. Eventually, the subject of Fluttershy came up. I think we were talking about that sanctuary of hers. I suggested that maybe Zecora could consider offering her some advice or maybe lend a hoof from time to time. While she is a medicine mare by trade, she also knows a fair bit about animals due to the amount of time she’s lived amongst them various creatures of the Everfree. “It was not the amount of work that strained the poor mare. It was that companion of hers, the cousin of a hare.” “Ah, you mean Angel, Equestria’s only lapine psychopath,” I replied with a smile. I honestly think it’s due to living with that rabbit for so long that she was able to reform Discord. While he’d never admit it, the two are disturbingly alike. Both love being the centre of attention, both adore Fluttershy and seek her approval constantly, and the both of them can throw right tantrums at the worst moments. “Your opinion of him is indeed quite true,” Zecora replied, sipping on her tea, “But I think you’ll find the two have a better understanding, now that they’ve seen life from a different point of view.” “What do you mean?” I asked curiously. “Each of them did not understand the other’s motivation,” Zecora went on. “With my help, they got to experience their lives in a different vocation.” See, this is where talking in a combination of rhyme and riddle can make you a bit hard to understand at times. I eventually managed to get the full story out of her. And what I found was rather alarming. Fluttershy and Angel had been having a bit of a tiff, with Fluttershy not able to spend as much time with him as she used to, due to her commitments at the sanctuary, as well as her teaching job. With a grumpy Angel on her back, Fluttershy went to Zecora’s to get some more concentrated carrot extract for her stores. Zecora saw how the two were in such a state of disharmony and offered a potion that she promised would help, giving only the advice to take it back at the cottage. Angel however, didn’t heed that advice and took a swig on the way home. It turned out that the potion somehow switched the two creatures’ minds around, putting Fluttershy in Angel’s body and vice versa. Now, how do I best describe my feelings towards this? Ah yes. What in the name of Celestia herself?! Okay, it wasn’t technically illegal, as there’s no legislation against the particular potion Zecora cooked up. But the fact that she gave the pair this potion without telling them what it did, or the way to undo it (i.e. solve their friendship problem), left a lot to be desired. Add to that the fact that Fluttershy, in Angel’s body, had almost been nabbed by a hawk and was entirely exhausted by the end of her ordeal, and you had one very cheesed off legal advisor. Zecora however, was quick to reassure me that she had kept a careful eye on the pony and rabbit and did eventually explain to Fluttershy how to undo the effects, as well as having an antidote if needed. And to be fair, she did recommend taking the potion in the safety of Fluttershy’s cottage, so I could hardly blame her for that. Still, it was a touch irresponsible, but no more than any of Twilight’s little mishaps. So it seemed a bit hypocritical of me to take any action against her. Her goal was honourable enough, letting each side see the other’s point of view. It was only because they’d drunk the potion before they got home that there were any problems. In the end, given that Dr Fawn had already advised Zecora not to do anything so rash again, and as the outcome was ultimately good, I decided to let things lie. There’s a world of difference between the letter of the law and its spirit. And while Zecora’s version of couples’ therapy was teetering on the edge of Equestrian law, it was still on the right side. And speaking of couples’ therapy, I would soon find myself involved in mediating a dispute of my own, between three very unlikely characters.