//------------------------------// // Doo What You Must [Dark] [Horror] [Maud] [Mud Briar] [Pinkie] // Story: Fast Ponies, Faster Fingers // by TheDriderPony //------------------------------// “This is not the path to our usual Monday spot.” “Yes.” Their voices faded into the dense leaves as they continued to walk. Mud Briar was not one for making unnecessary small talk. He was quick to point of technical inaccuracies and false statements, but aside from that, he was content to let others do the talking. This was one of the reasons he felt he clicked so well with Maud Pie. She too could appreciate the concept of not filling the air with useless noise. Still, there were some times, however few, when he wished his marefriend would be slightly less laconic. Such as when she spontaneously changed the destination of their usual picnicking spot. The trees parted before them, revealing the sheer bluff of a cliff. At the bottom, a large jagged crack opened into a cave. “Technically, Thursday is our scheduled day to study rocks,” he reminded her. Perhaps she was merely confused. “We are not studying rocks today.” Maud gestured ahead. “Go inside. I’ve prepared something for you.” Though he was annoyed at the unexpected change in activities, Mud Briar complied. The interior was dark, too dark to see properly. It seemed like a perfectly ordinary cave, as much as any cave could be called ordinary since, technically, every cave was a unique structure. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he noticed a faint red glow in the distance. Making the logical leap that that was where he was meant to go, he followed it. After a brief narrow passage, the cave widened into a large chamber. In the gloom, he couldn’t tell its exact size but it was large enough that the limited red light did not illuminate the walls. He continued forward towards the light, when suddenly a loud noise like stone grinding on stone came from behind him. He jumped around to look but was forced into a squint as light flooded the cave. “Wow Maud!” he heard an excited yet oddly familiar voice echo from somewhere above him. “You were right! He walked right in!” “Of course he did. He trusts me.” That second voice, there was no mistaking it. “Maud?” He asked, still blinded. “What is going on? This is very confusing.” “That is understandable. Just wait. You’ll find out soon enough.” Mud Briar tried to open his eyes. The light stung, but he fought through it. The chamber was bright now, fully lit by a ring of torches. Though now it seemed less a chamber and more a pit. The path he’d taken was gone, blocked off by an enormous stone, and walls rose around him higher than he could ever hope to climb or jump. At the top of the walls stood Maud, looking as impassive as ever, and also her sister, Pinkie. “Pinkie Pie?” he asked, “What are you doing here?” “What am I doing here?” she echoed, “I’m helping out my sister with her relationship problems like a good little sis should.” He paused at that. Relationship problems? As far as he was aware, everything had been going as smooth as beech. He cut to the chase. “Are you breaking up with me?” Her reply was immediate. “No. Technically, the opposite.” Now he was just confused. Not only did her reply not make sense, but her technically also offered no further clarification. “I do like you, Mud Briar,” she admitted. “I like you a lot. But I love rocks even more. And someday, I know I am going to have to choose between the two of you.” “Technically, you don’t know that.” Mud Briar began to get nervous. If this wasn’t a breakup, then why did she seem to be speaking with such… finality? “It’s the most probable outcome. So I’ve decided to take steps to fix the issue.” Maud stepped back out of his field of vision. He could not see what she did, but the effects were obvious. On the far side of the pit, a portcullis he had failed to notice began to raise. Two glowing red lights burned out from within. From within the shadows, a monster emerged. Its body was feathered, but its tail serpentine. And there was no mistaking its evil gaze or beak full of fangs. A cockatrice. Mud Briar yelped and scrambled back, but all too soon he hit the far wall. There was nowhere to run. “Maud!” he cried, “Why is there a cockatrice here?!” “Technically,” she replied, “It’s not just a cockatrice. It’s an artificially bred subspecies.” “You would not believe what it took to manage that,” Pinkie said cheerily, “Thank goodness Fluttershy was willing to let me call in a few favors.” The creature bared down on him and Mud Briar could practically feel his extremities beginning to tingle. “Why?” he begged, “Why are you doing this?” “I’m fixing the problem.” Her emotionless voice, usually a comfort, now felt cold and distant. “I don’t have to choose between my coltfriend and my work if they are one and the same. So this cockatrice-” “I named him Bill!” Pinkie interrupted. “...Bill, is going to transform you into stone which I will spend years studying. No pony has ever done an in-depth analysis of the petrolizing effects of a cockatrice’s gaze, primarily due to a lack of specimens. Together, you and I will break new ground in the fields of geology. It’s going to be so much fun.” Mud Briar gasped at his hooves. They shone like diamonds in the torchlight. Possibly because they were diamonds, or technically, one solid piece of some unknown crystalline mineral each. A condition that was slowly creeping up the lengths of his legs. “By the way, did we mention it’s not a normal cockatrice?” Pinkie leaned over the balcony, grinning madly. “Maud said a standard one would be fine, but I convinced her to go the extra mile and get a cockatrice that could really make you something special. Go big or go home, you know?” Desperate as the crystal climbed his legs, Mud Briar tried appealing to the more emotional sister. “Please, Pinkie Pie! Don’t do this! I can understand Maud’s logic, but why would you help her in this?” “Why?” She looked genuinely confused. “Didn’t I tell you I was going to support you and her’s relationship? If this is what my big sister needs to be happy, then of course I’m going to help her. Now, would you mind getting in a better pose? It’s gonna be a real let-down if Maud has to spend all her time with you while you’re in this cowering fetal position.” Mud Briar could not reply, for his tongue was stone. Sensation slowly sapped from his body as he wondered what he’d done in life to deserve this. Hadn’t he been a good pony? A good coltfriend? He’d tended to his appearance, always picked her up on time, always walked her home. And was this where it got him? Stoned in a cave while she and her sister watched? As the last bit of crystal began to encase his body, he craned up his stiffening neck to catch her eye. Maud, his marefriend, the one who’d done this to him. But there was no regret, no remorse to be found there. Only cold passion and logic. And his heart stood still.