//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: Grasshopper Pie // by brokenimage321 //------------------------------// Pinkie--no, Grasshopper--allowed herself a contented sigh. All things considered, today had been a good day.  “How’d I do, girls?” she whispered under her breath.  You did alright, Poppy admitted, but what was with that tourist?  The gluten-free, sugar-free, low-fat hippie from Californeigh? Danni replied. Different strokes, I suppose. The real question is, though--why in Equestria did you have a batch of exactly those sort of cupcakes lying around?  I like a challenge, Poppy said defensively. What I want to know is, how in Equestria do you expect any of us to find anypony’s orders in those files of yours? Are you seriously telling me you can’t figure out a simple alphabetic, reverse chronological filing system? Danni snapped.  “Girls, girls,” Hops whispered. “It’s okay. I found Whirligig’s order in time.” With Danni’s help, Poppy muttered.  Oh, knock it off, you two, Mama cut in. Hops is on her way home. Let’s try and save the drama until after she gets back, okay? Okay ... No problem. Okay then, Mama said. I’m going to go and get Katy ready. Be safe. And Grasshopper felt a little light go out of her mind as Mama left the cave.  Grasshopper let out a long, slow sigh. It was only noon, but today had been a long day. She had her shift, of course, which had been hard enough on its own--aside from the drama with the cupcakes and the lost order form, Mrs. Cake had asked her organize and sweep up the storage pantry--and fifty-pound bags of sugar and flour were no joke (she had, of course, taken a few minutes to sing with the broom like a microphone, but that was just for fun).  But even after she had finished at the bakery, she still had more to do: Cynthia, back at the hive, needed more paints for a banner for somepony’s birthday that was coming up, and Hattie had asked for some tape to hang another poster in Pinkie’s room--so she had to run by the craft store on top of everything. But now she was headed home, the bottles of paint clinking cheerfully together in her saddlebags, and looking forward to a nice, long nap. Maybe even a little bath, if the underground hot springs weren’t too busy… In the back of her mind, her sisters were chatting amiably. Who did Mama say was on next? Katy? Yep. She’s going shopping for flowers to spruce up the place.  Lucky. Last shift, I had to watch the store for six hours. On a Tuesday morning.  Ooh... boring? I’ve seen cemeteries that were more lively... And then, Grasshopper heard a sharp intake of breath. Waitasecond, Danni cut in. Hops, what was that? Did you see that? “Yeah,” Hops breathed, a sudden tension in her gut.  She had just passed a side-street filled with ponies, like a dozen others in Ponyville. At the last moment, however, a flash of color had caught her eye--a terrifyingly familiar color, one that shook her to her core.  Grasshopper steeled herself, then turned to get a proper look. For a long moment, she stared wordlessly at what she saw, her mouth slowly falling open. Uh-oh, Danni said.  There, partway down the side-street, stood a second Pinkie Pie, watching her with wide, guilty eyes.  What are you waiting for? hissed Poppy. Get her! Hops took a purposeful step forward--and the impostor turned and ran. Grasshopper snarled and gave chase.  The other Pinkie was good--no denying that. She ducked and weaved with the best of them. But Grasshopper was better. Everytime other-Pinkie tried to juke her, Hops was right on her tail. For Hops, it was almost like the world fell away--there was only her, the fluffy pink pony she was chasing, and the blood pounding in her ears. And then, she found her opportunity.  The impostor tried to make a break for it behind Quills and Sofas. And she might have gotten away with it, too--if somepony wasn’t walking past at just that moment, their cart piled high with crates. After an instant of hesitation, Hops leapt from the ground to the wagon, from the wagon to the crates, and from the crates to the rooftop in three fluid jumps. She ran to the edge of the roof and scanned the alley behind the shop--and there she was. Crouched behind a row of trash cans, watching for her pursuer.  Hops growled and leapt.  The impostor didn’t have a chance. Grasshopper knocked her flat, then hauled her to her hooves and slammed her against the wall.  “Who are you? What are you doing?” Hops snarled. “You know you’re not supposed to be out here!” Other-Pinkie swallowed, then shook her head.  “You tell me right now,” hissed Grasshopper, “Or you’ll wish you stayed home!” Other-Pinkie tried to kick at her, but Hops was standing too close.  “You fess up…” Grasshopper snarled, then leaned in close. “Or I’ll tell Mama on you,” she hissed, her voice dripping with menace. The impostor’s eyes widened. She hesitated, then opened her mouth… “Pinkie?” someone asked, incredulously. “What are you doing?”  Both Grasshopper and Other-Pinkie turned to look at the newcomer. Twilight Sparkle stared back at them, head cocked to one side.  Grasshopper goggled at her, then released the impostor and took a step backwards. Other-Pinkie, for her part, dusted herself off and tried to look innocent.  “Hi, Twilight,” Grasshopper said slowly, her mind racing. “I--we—uh, we--” “We’re just... out exploring,” Other-Pinkie volunteered.  “Exploring,” Twilight repeated flatly.  “Yeah, exploring,” Grasshopper said, shooting the impostor a look. “Out in the Everfree. You know how weird that place is…” “And... you found something that made you… two of you?” Twilight said slowly. “Yep!” Other-Pinkie replied. “Ancient ponish curse, all that. You know how it goes!” “In fact,” Grasshopper said, pointedly taking Other-Pinkie by the arm, “we were just going to go see Zecora, see if she had any ideas that could get us back to normal!” “Uh huh,” said Twilight, nodding slowly. “So… what does that have to do with all that?”  “With what?” the impostor asked.  “That,” Twilight repeated, nodding back over her shoulder. “Back there.” And then, Grasshopper noticed that the adrenaline coursing through her was starting to wear off. And, as her head began to clear, the images that had been trying to get her attention for several minutes now finally reasserted themselves. With a growing dread in the pit of her stomach, Grasshopper leaned around Twilight and looked back at the way she had come. Behind Twilight stood a small crowd of ponies, eyeing the two Pinkie Pies with a mix of confusion and anger. As Grasshopper watched them, she grimaced. There was the owner of that fruit cart that the Other-Pinkie had knocked over, and that Hops had vaulted without a second thought. And there was the small knot of ponies the impostor had ducked behind, and whose backs Hops had run across to try and catch her. And there was the pony who had been holding all those packages--and that was the driver of that cart of manure— And Grasshopper realized, as her stomach sunk down to her hooves, that half of Ponyville had just seen her chase her own doppelganger through the town square in broad daylight.  Grasshopper wanted to puke. Instead, she forced a funny smile.  “Oh, we just got away from ourselves a little, that’s all,” she said. “Y’see?” volunteered the impostor, her voice shaking a little. “Got away from ourselves? Like a pun?” Grasshopper grabbed Other-Pinkie, hard, by the elbow. “Now let’s go see about that potion, me!” she said, her voice brittle as glass. “Then we’ll come back and say we’re sorry and all that. Okay?” The impostor nodded mutely, but Twilight shifted uneasily.  “Okay, I guess,” she said. “But, just so you know, there’s a lot of ponies waiting for an explanation…” “We’ll be back soon! Promise!” said the impostor. “Cross our hearts and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our—!”   Grasshopper jabbed an elbow in the other’s ribcage, and she fell silent. Hops turned and waved at those behind her, then goose-stepped Other-Pinkie down the alley, and into a side street.  “That was close—” the impostor began Without warning, Grasshopper shoved the impostor up against the wall. “What the cordyceps are you thinking?” she hissed. “I’m on shift right now! And what did you run through half of Ponyville for?” The impostor just scowled.  “You have ten seconds to tell me exactly what’s going on,” Grasshopper hissed, “or I’ll beat you so black-and-blue it’ll show through your shell. I don’t care if you are my sister.” The impostor shot her a poisonous look. “I’m not your sister,” she spat.  Grasshopper blinked. “Huh?” The impostor sighed, then closed her eyes. Before Grasshopper could so much as think, the impostor exploded in a burst of pink flame. Grasshopper blinked, then looked down at the pony she was pinning against the wall--and saw, glaring up at her with a mixture of guilt and fury, her little brother Luke.