When I came to Equestria, they told me
"Equestria is paradise, but you'll have to change your carnivorous deeds.
You'll see no more meat for the rest of your stay.
You'll be living like a bird on sunflower seeds.
Breathing fresh air, and hanging with ponies
At work and at play."
"But at night Luna will send these wonderful dreams.
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettucine, or a sugary treat.
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat."
How can Equestria be Paradise?
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
They're Heaven on Earth with an onion slice,
I'll be particular, I'll be precise
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer.
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer, 'cause
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
You talk to the average Equestrian and
They eat the same food again and again and again.
Warm beer and stale bread,
the taste could gag the dead.
It's all you can get at an Equestrian inn.
It's the same for this human these days
So I'll head for Earth to get what I need.
Not just Havanas and bananas and daiquiris,
But that American creation on which I feed
Equestria may be a Pony paradise.
But I'd suffer any hardship and pay any price
To get one medium rare with mustard'd be nice
But there are no cheeseburgers in Paradise!
Without cheeseburgers, it ain't Paradise!
I'm only human in every virtue and vice
so how can Equestria be Paradise?
I'll be particular, I'll be precise.
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57, and French fried potatoes,
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer
To get a small piece of Paradise
Yeah, a cheeseburger is Paradise!