//------------------------------// // We Will Suffer // Story: I Am Broken // by tarkus9 //------------------------------// I Am Broken She ascended, but all the same she fell. I was left to watch her rise higher and higher. My sobs were reduced to choking pleas of forgiveness as smoke and ash filled my lungs. My soot covered face was painted irregularly with shed tears and dried blood. All I could feel was anguish, perhaps some fear when faced with the realization that I wouldn't have anypony truly by my side for the next few centuries. The sphere of my vanity hung low in the early morning sky, it was dawn... And I hated it. Maybe Luna was right, why should I be so revered above her? We both held the same power in our hooves, but they tended to ignore her and everything she did. Did they see her as nothing more than a decoration? “Their ruler and goddess!” Too late did I realize that I spoke aloud. My shout echoed across the mountainside and came upon the heartland valley with such force that the earth trembled. As if sensing my sorrow, the sun kindled its flames and brought warmth to my body. The warmth was inviting, oh by my creator I lusted for its relief. Instead of my submission, all the sun felt was my anger. I stood and ran to shield myself behind as much debris as I could. My star’s love was replaced with the scorching heat of the still raging fires. It hurt to breath, but such things would not claim me. I was left in a world of ignorant mortals who only cared for power and their own comfort. At some point I caught myself contemplating childish revenge on those who could not truly be faulted. I asked myself constantly, “Was I not enough?” No, clearly not. I may have been her sister, but I was still one being. The hearts of the masses are clearly more comforting than the love of a wretched older sibling! My hoof sent cracks through what was left of the ash-covered marble floors as I lashed out with mixed emotions. Our fight really had destroyed the observatory. I did not require the telescope, which by now was nothing more than buckled scrap metal, to see what occurred in the sky. As the moon began to dip below the horizon, the sky flashed purple. Clouds seemed to glow lavender and even the sun was dimmed, but only for a mere moment. The flash dissipated leaving behind an indigo halo which gently caressed the retreating white sphere. It was a beautiful display, but it was ruined and defiled by my damned sunlight! My sister, the pony I cared most for in the world was gone because of that thing! I paced and growled, I gave into rage and let it control me for I don't know how long. “If it wasn't for you, she’d still be here!” I had at least taken care that my voice wouldn't cause any more disasters. If it wasn't for a lot of things she’d still be here. I turned my attention to the elements. They lay scattered around the tower, cast aside by myself when I lost the will to stand. For the first time in my long life, I found myself resenting harmony. What transpired earlier could not have possibly been a fair decision. The elements had minds of their own, the fact that they would consciously take my sister away from me was unbearable. I nearly did it. I was so close to hurling them off the tower with my magic, but something stopped me. I knew why I couldn't be rid of them, deep within my tired mind lay the answer. It was neither the fault of my sun, or the fault of our philosophy, or even the faults of our subjects that took my sister away. It was myself. Too obvious was the fact that in the months of late Luna despised my very being. I wouldn't dare to flatter myself by saying ponies preferred the day over the night, granted they were mostly diurnal, but day and night were merely metaphors for the real problem. Ponies preferred me over her, and this revelation came with a heavy guilt. The insufferable foals we called nobles were all too ready to lick the ground at my hooves, but they tended to just ignore Luna... hoping she might disappear. Perhaps Luna could be a bit temperamental at times, but she still had a kind heart and she really did love every one of them. As for the elements? This was not Luna’s punishment, it was mine for thinking I could wield them by myself. Luna will have a millennium to heal, but I will have a millennium to haunt myself with her memory. A fitting punishment, she was deprived of the thing she loved, and now I would be. That it was deserved came as no comfort. “I’m sorry.” My sorrow was renewed, I just kept repeating the apology over and over. I thought I was starting to make Luna happier, I really did. I knew she was depressed and so I devoted more time to making sure she was content with herself. The last few days were wonderful, I shirked court duties entirely just to spend time with her. We spent hours laying in the valley just admiring the world, we even played games like we did so long ago in our foalhood. The night before was perfect, she seemed so ecstatic when I promised to stay up late in the evening to be with her. Sleep wasn't needed, but the habit was well known to me. That night she forged a masterpiece. A vast starscape dotted with the occasional nebula and of course her perfect white centerpiece, but something was different. I noticed throughout our time together, that the moon seemed to possess a faint polychromatic aura that shifted and flickered. She looked at me and just smiled. It took me quite a while to finally realize that she matched the aura to my mane and tail. It was the sweetest thing she’d ever done for me, and her next words were even sweeter. “Happy birthday Tia.” It was actually a few weeks beforehand, but she confined herself to our old run down castle when a foal shied away from her. The timing mattered not to me, the only thing I cared about was that she sounded genuinely happy. So we embraced one another, well more like I pulled her closer to me in a crushing bear hug. All the more painful when my wonderful day, what I assumed was a wonderful day for her, was ruined. After I departed, she came for me in the night. I know not when, nor how that thing took her... I don’t even really know what it was. Luna was gone, and what stood in her place wished to obliterate me. It was like a snarling animal, it was like a demon. That’s what I thought at first, until that so called demon tried to help me to my hooves. It wasn't a creature at all, it was my sister and she was trying to murder me. “If only you succeeded. This will be much worse,” I choked out. Again the sun tried to comfort me. It cast its rays down upon my beaten body and dried away my tears. I was wrong to have insulted it, it was my only company now. “You must feel as awful as I do... you’ll chase your sibling for century after century, but the moon will always be just out of reach.” “How did we get into this mess?” I mumbled. It offered no reply, my stoic friend as always. Its warmth would caress but offer nothing more than understanding, it was enough. I shakily got to my hooves, sniffling and coughing. The fires had long since put themselves out, all that remained of the observatory now was charred wood and blackened stone, smoke clouds still hung in the air but the worst was gone. It was midday already, my mind had wallowed in pain for hours and to me it felt like a few minutes. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe time will fly? “No,” I sighed while looking up at the sun. “We will wait for a very long time.” "We will suffer."