“… and now it’s kind of like a race between Equestria and the eastern minotaurs to get a pony stuck in space so we can find out if there’s anything new over the sun. Isn’t it great?” Pinkie Pie beamed.
Rutherford gave her an unimpressed look from across the hut. “Hmm… Yaks not sure what ponies think so great about ‘space’ thing. Ponies and minotaurs not climb every mountain yet like yaks; why ground and sky not big enough?”
Pinkie tapped her forehooves together. “Well… Twilight says it’s because space has special properties that we can’t find anywhere else and that it would ‘further our understanding of the cosmos’ to go to space and then the moon to see what they’re like; Dashie says it’s just more adventure-y when you go somewhere that nobody else has been.” She glanced around the room, leaned in, and spoke in a softer voice. “But I happen to know that she also wants to find out whether Luna was literally banished to the moon and lived there for a thousand years.
“As for the minotaurs…” Pinkie shrugged, “Twilight says it’s really political but they basically want everybody to see that they’re big and strong like Equestria after they joined together into the Union of Minotaur Maze Republics.”
“I still have question about pony idea to go to space. Yaks know pegasus and dragons not able to fly to top of big mountains. How ponies think they get to space?”
“Twilight says we need a special vehicle for that, because going to space isn’t just as simple as going up anyway. We have to go sideways a lot, too.”
“That not make sense. Space not sideways. Sideways just mountains.”
“That’s why you go up first, silly. Up a lot, past the mountains, then sideways, and bam” – Pinkie punched one forehoof into another – “you’re stuck in space. That’s what Twilight thinks will happen, at least.”
Rutherford snorted. “Ponies silly. What about ‘gravity’? It what make yaks heavy. How pony not just fall back down?”
“Twilight says we need to get into ‘orbit’, and she used a lot of really big words to describe it but I figured out that it just means you got up and went sideways so much that you keep missing the ground forever.”
“That not sound hard…” Rutherford touched a hoof to his chin thoughtfully for a moment. “Yaks can do that. Maybe without vehicle at all.”
“Well Twilight said going to space is like a really tall mountain where the air gets really cold and hard to breathe at the top—”
“Hah!” Rutherford boomed. “Yaks strong. Yaks climb all mountains. Maybe ponies need yaks to go to space for them if ponies have trouble breathing. Yaks very warm, too. Yaks not have these problems.”
“You do have a point,” Pinkie replied. “But I still think you have to bring some air with you.”
“This matter settled,” Rutherford said as he stood up. “Yaks not let silly ponies and minotaurs leave them behind on ground. Tell ponies that yaks go to space! Yaks also figure out how to go to moon. Yaks tell everyone what it like after.”
Rutherford fixed his gaze on Pinkie. “Pink Pony, as Honorary Yak, you also invited to watch yaks go to space.”
Yaks Declare Intent To Land on the Moon
Eyewitness reports say yaks are raining down from the mountains in failed attempts to throw each other into orbit. (more on p.9)
Both Equestria and the UMMR had been surprised at the yaks’ announcement that they would run their own space program, a reaction that, in Twilight’s case, had quickly been replaced with a mixture of horror and concern as the implications sunk in. She agreed that Pinkie might as well serve as a ‘liaison’, which Pinkie inferred meant that Twilight was encouraging her to spend time with the yaks in the hopes that some measure of safety might rub off on them. Pinkie figured Twilight also secretly wanted to learn from the yaks’ attempts even though she outwardly denied that it could even be a possibility when Pinkie told her that yaks would be happy to help and that secrecy wasn’t necessary.
About a week after her first conversation with Prince Rutherford, Pinkie Pie found herself back in Yakyakistan. The yaks had promised a launch attempt later that evening using new technology.
The first things to stand out when she stepped through the gate to Rutherford’s village were the buildings. They didn’t resemble huts so much as large cabins now. There were also quite a few more yaks roaming around, some of which hauled large quantities of stone and other building materials. One of the yak guards at the gate had been assigned to lead her to Rutherford’s building.
After she and Rutherford had caught up on how each other had been, Rutherford brought up more recent events. “I have subscription to newspaper from Crystal Empire. Yaks know that ponies making fun of us even though yaks know kicking and throwing not work. Yaks try that for learning.”
Pinkie gave a chuckle and waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, yeah. Those silly press ponies make up their mind before they know everything sometimes. They’ll change their tune when you get to space.”
“Newspaper not have tune.”
“It’s an expression. Just don’t worry about them.”
Rutherford nodded. “Yaks still work on organizing themselves. Yaks not have big goal that yaks not able to smash like this before. Many yaks not used to change. Some yaks unhappy, say that I break with old ways.”
Rutherford puffed up his chest. “That not important though. Already, smart-yaks have thought of new way to go to space. It even involve some stomping. Yaks try it in couple of hours, when sun not so bright. Pink Pony come. I have one of smart-yaks agree to tell Pink Pony how it work. After, Yaks have celebration snacks.”
Pinkie giggled. “Okie dokie lokie!” With that, she hopped after Rutherford.
Pinkie Pie found herself looking at blueprints for what she thought might have passed for a massive party cannon, save a few important modifications. In the back of her mind, she discounted the notion that yaks knew what ‘safety’ really was as she inspected the flames drawn at the bottom.
“Yaks learn that yaks can store energy of fire in liquid like this. When liquid release energy, it become like air with power of many dragons. Yaks launch at angle to go sideways and up at same time. Yaks also aim away from mountains.” The engineer pointed at something in the middle of the structure. “Yak inside capsule here will go very fast when yaks remove pins. Pins keep liquid from releasing energy so yak only go to space when all yaks ready.”
“So what’s that, exactly?” Pinkie asked, pointing to a circle drawn within the capsule. There were several adjacent numbers that seemed to describe it.
“That space-yak. We use sphere in calculations to make math easier.”
Pinkie nodded. “Okay. That makes sense.”
The engineer continued. “If anything break, ponies not tough like yaks. Yaks ask Pink Pony to watch from building with other officers. Command building have great view.”
In person, the launch structure really did look kind of like her party cannon. It was long, angled sideways, and probably built to withstand one heck of an explosion on the inside. On the outside, yaks were stomping on a half-dozen bellows. The yaks seemed quite happy with their work.
As for the “strong building”, she had been directed to a small bunker that appeared to be made out of concrete a few hundred meters away from the launch structure. It seemed pretty far away, but she figured the yaks knew what they were doing and put it there on purpose. She did have a good view of the launch structure, though, through the open window. Rutherford and a few other yaks were already there when she arrived, and one of the yak officers told her that if anything unexpected happened, everyone was supposed to duck.
“Yaks started fire earlier. I hear liquid absorb almost all fire energy it can now.” Rutherford said, and straightened his stance and held a hoof out to the side. One of the officers passed him a can attached to a string. Rutherford held it to his mouth. “YAKS AT READY!”
Pinkie Pie realized that several of the yaks nearby had similar communication devices.
“Space-yak report ready,” replied one officer.
“Pin-yaks report ready to pull out pins,” another one said.
“Good,” Rutherford boomed back. He offered the can to Pinkie and smiled. “Pink Pony get honor of countdown.”
“Eeeeee awesome! I love counting down for important things!”
Pinkie cleared her throat, and in her yak-iest voice, began. “Ten— no, too long. THREE…
“TWO…”
All the yaks present visibly tensed.
“ONE...”
The excitement and pressure of the moment threatened to put her in overdrive, but if she called out early, the yaks might get confused. They did like music, after all, and they certainly knew what a rhythm was.
But Celestia’s Frown it felt like forever.
“LAUNCH!”
“Pin yaks report all pins pulled!”
Pinkie watched the launch structure intently. For the next moment, nothing seemed to happen. The yak engineer said it’d be like that, though, unless something broke. They had a pool of superheated water, so when the capsule started moving from the pressure, there would be more room for it to turn into steam which would make more pressure; so, as Pinkie understood it, the water was basically exploding and it wouldn’t sound like much until the capsule reached the end of the barrel. If it was anything like her party cannon, it would be loud.
That thought did not prepare her for what happened next. The space capsule came out fast enough that she could have missed it if she’d blinked. Large white clouds trailed it for quite a distance, with more and more angrily billowing out of the launch structure every moment.
Then came the ‘boom’. Pinkie found it unbelievably loud… and surprisingly hot. She thought it might be what a dragon’s roar sounded like if you took the whole roar and crammed it into one instant. No, more like several dragons’ roars. As soon as it came, it subsided into a low rumbling that only lasted for a couple of seconds. The wave of heat subsided about as quickly, but everything started to feel unusually humid.
“Space-yak going up,” called one officer.
“Space-yak going sideways very fast,” called another.
“Ooohh so exciting!” Pinkie Pie pulled out a pair of binoculars and focused in on the speck they were all watching. After what felt like mere seconds, but the rational sliver of her mind suggested was probably actually a couple of minutes after launch, she couldn’t make out the speck anymore.
“So how do we know if the space-yak made it to space?” she asked.
“That easy,” Rutherford replied. “Space-yak come back if not stuck in space. If space-yak not come back, space-yak in space. Pink Pony come: yaks have celebration snacks while yaks wait!”
The space-yak watched as the ground rushed closer through the peephole window in the side of her capsule. The launch had taken place just a few minutes prior. By the way things looked – namely, that ground rushing up already – she hadn’t come nearly as close to reaching space as anyyak had hoped.
The capsule met the ground about as peacefully as could be expected for a massive projectile travelling at terminal velocity. That is to say, bits of ground went flying violently in every direction while the capsule did its best not to crumple in on its passenger, made complete with a low-key, bone-jarring boom.
On inspection, the latch for the capsule hatch had clearly bent beyond use. The space-yak shrugged it off, turned around, and kicked at it, blowing the whole hatch and some of the surrounding metal off with her first strike.
She stepped through her improvised open-hatch into the fresh crater. Beyond the radius of said crater where the soil had been piled up, the space-yak noticed a bunch of little green shreds scattered around. Some of them were still falling from the air. She glanced around to see if she could still make out the mountains of Yakyakistan. Instead, she saw long rows of green plants stretching out for some distance and a little tan pony staring at her in horror.
“My cabbages!”