Chapter Four
Good Intentions
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Another morning, and it was time to leave another hotel. That was life though; they occasionally stayed a few days in one city, but often it was onto the next town first thing in the morning so they could play another show by the evening. They were two weeks into the tour, which meant everyone was accustomed to this once more.
Which meant they all should’ve been downstairs on time, and yet, one of them was absent. “Shouldn’t Fluttershy be the one to handle check out, since she’s our manager and all?” Gilda asked.
“Give her a break, Gil,” Lemon Zest said. “She barely ever gets enough sleep. As far as I’m concerned, her getting to sleep in a bit is a good thing.” That was fair; it was the second week of the tour, and this was the first time that Fluttershy hadn’t been the one to check them out of their hotel.
“Yeah, but we gotta go,” Gilda said. “Besides, I don’t know how much sleep she got last night, if you catch my drift.”
“Watch it,” Rainbow warned. Whether it was true or not, she didn’t want anyone talking about Fluttershy like that. “Zest, you mind going and getting her?”
Lemon Zest sighed and walked back to the elevator. “Yeah, I’ll get her.”
No one was closer with Fluttershy than Rainbow, but Lemon Zest and Fluttershy were close in a different way than the two sisters were. They all knew that Fluttershy would have a guest, and out of all the girls, Lemon Zest just seemed the most comfortable with walking in on that.
For her own part, Rainbow wouldn’t really care, except that the whole situation made her angry. It wasn’t like Rainbow hadn’t had her fair share of random hookups, so she couldn’t really say anything, but something about seeing Fluttershy do it just rubbed her the wrong way. She was better than that, she just didn’t seem to see it these days.
Within a few minutes, Lemon Zest came down. She was followed by Fluttershy and another girl that Rainbow vaguely recognized from the night before.
She walked up to Rainbow with a CD and a pen in hand. “Hi, uhm, will you sign this for me.”
Rainbow wanted to refuse. She wanted to ask this girl if she even cared about Fluttershy at all, or if sleeping with her was just a way to get closer to the band. Rainbow wanted her to realize she was using one of the best people in the world for her own selfish reasons.
She wanted to, but instead, she just smiled and said, “Sure.” She took the pen and pulled out the CD book, scrawling a quick signature on it. She saw that the Lemon Zest had already signed one, and that despite her own contributions to the album, Fluttershy hadn’t.
She handed back the CD and saw the fan’s eyes go to Windfall and Gilda. “Don’t look at me,” Gilda said. “I wasn’t even part of the band when they recorded that.”
“Here, I’ll sign it,” Windfall said with a good-natured smile. Rainbow couldn’t fault him, not after she’d just signed it herself.
“Did everyone check out of their rooms?” Fluttershy asked.
“Everyone except you,” Rainbow told her.
Fluttershy nodded and went to the checkout desk to turn in her room key. The fan looked at Gilda again, who didn’t look up from her phone, and she seemed to have the good sense to not press for an autograph from her. She hung back and left the building with the band.
At least once they were outside, she walked up to Fluttershy to say goodbye. “I had a great time last night.”
Fluttershy smiled. “Me too.”
“You’re off to the next town then?”
“Yup. We’ve got another show tonight.”
“That’s so cool.” The fan smiled and waved. “Well, take care of yourself.”
“You too. Do you need me to call you a taxi?”
The fan smiled and waved away the offer. “No thanks, I’ll just have my girlfriend come pick me up.”
“Oh.” Fluttershy’s smile fell and she turned away. “Well, alright then. We should be leaving.”
The girl put her arms around Fluttershy and kissed her cheek. “Thanks for the great night! Bye!”
Fluttershy led the way onto the tour bus. Rainbow barely waited for the doors to close. “What the fuck!?”
“I didn’t know she had a girlfriend!” Fluttershy shot back.
Rainbow shook her head and quickly corrected herself. “No, I didn’t mean you! I meant, like, what the fuck is with her not telling you that?”
“Shit, she could’ve just kept not telling you that at that point,” Gilda said as she collapsed into a seat. “Bitch move.”
“Big time,” Lemon Zest agreed. She took a seat beside Fluttershy. “Hey, don’t worry about it though. You didn’t know.”
“Uh, maybe she didn’t mean it that way, though?” Windfall pointed out. “Girls are always calling other girls their girlfriends.”
“Not gay girls,” Gilda said. She shrugged. “I’m with Zest. It’s shitty, but it isn’t your fault.”
Rainbow sat on Fluttershy’s other side, so Windfall sat beside Gilda. Fluttershy sighed. “Let’s just… not worry about that.”
“Right,” Windfall agreed. “How long’s the drive today?”
Fluttershy checked something on her phone, then told them, “Three hours. Not too bad.”
“Cool.”
This was also life for a band on tour. The tour bus was a constant companion of theirs. It wasn’t so bad, though; they’d been successful enough that the label gave them a bus, at least. They’d toured out of Rainbow’s van at first, and that had been miserable.
They passed the time with lots of games – board games, card games, and videogames, whatever kept them occupied. And, of course, with conversation with one another. Rainbow waited a while to see if the conversation ever turned back to the girl Fluttershy had slept with, but it never did. Not surprising, Fluttershy had asked them to move on from that.
But Rainbow still had more to say on the subject. Maybe Fluttershy wouldn’t like it, but it was for the best that they talked about this. It had gone on for too long without anyone addressing it, and Fluttershy wasn’t doing herself any favors with her actions.
So she waited long enough to make sure Fluttershy seemed to be doing okay, then asked her if they could speak in private. Fluttershy agreed, and the two of them stood and left the others.
The back of the bus had a cabin people could sleep in if they needed to nap or were driving through the night. That’s where Rainbow led Fluttershy, and she closed the door from the others.
“What’s up?” Fluttershy asked.
Rainbow took a deep breath. She had wanted to talk to Fluttershy about this for a while. Indeed, she’d wanted to broach the subject before they even left for the tour, but she never found a good way to do it.
But if she had any hope that things would work themself out, it was clear that wouldn’t be the case. So she forced herself to look Fluttershy in her eyes, and she just hoped that she wasn’t crossing a line.
“I just… wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Is this about the girl?” Fluttershy smiled. “Really, I’m fine, Dashie.”
Rainbow ran her hand through her hair. “It’s not just that. I mean, it is, but like… Ugh.”
Fluttershy put her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Dash, whatever it is, you can say it to me.”
Rainbow looked up and tried to force out her words. What was it? She had the idea fully formed in her head, but not the words to express it. “Well, you know, she didn’t even seem as interested in you as she did in us.”
“Dash, I don’t even remember her name. I don’t expect her to be that interested in me.”
Rainbow winced. How could Fluttershy just say that as if it was okay? “I just, I don’t know… I worry about you.”
“There’s nothing to worry about. I’m a grown woman, Rainbow. I can have sex with people.”
“It’s not that you’re having sex,” Rainbow insisted through her blush. “It’s just, you know, these girls… a lot of them just want to get closer to the band. They’re using you, Shy.”
“I know that.” Fluttershy frowned. “Do you really think I don’t know that? I’m not some big musician, I’m no one special. I could stand to lose fifty pounds, and I’m constantly too exhausted to take care of myself. People don’t go out of their way to sleep with me. The only thing I’ve got going for me is being your manager.”
That was a lot heavier than Rainbow had thought it would go. But then, what did she think would happen? What good end did she see to this conversation? “Shy, that’s not…”
“Dashie, I know you mean well, but you don’t need to worry. I know better than to go getting attached or anything like that. It’s just harmless fun.”
Rainbow wasn’t sure of that, but she no longer felt like there would be any good in convincing her. “Yeah, of course. As long as you’re happy.”
Fluttershy smiled, then looked to the door. “We should go back to the others.”
“Yeah, alright. Sorry I just made things awkward.”
“Don’t worry, Dash.”
Rainbow sincerely wished she could obey that order so easily. But all she could do was follow Fluttershy back to the others and hope that somehow things would work out for the best.
“Sounding pretty good,” Rainbow announced with a smile.
“I think I’m still coming in a little quiet,” Windfall said.
“All good on my end.” Lemon Zest punctuated her comment with a little drum roll.
“Same,” Gilda said. “But I agree with Windfall, he was quiet.”
The sound mixer nodded and adjusted some dials. “Gimme some chords.”
Windfall began strumming, and he adjusted the volume as he did. After that, the band played another song together to make sure everyone’s instruments were well set. It was only a soundcheck, but that’s why it was so important to make sure everything was perfect now.
“That sounded better,” Windfall said when they finished the second run through.
“So we all good?” Gilda asked.
“I think so,” Rainbow said. “I’m happy with it.”
“Me too,” Lemon Zest said. “Anyone want a drink?”
“Maybe in a bit,” Gilda said as she took off her bass. “Dash, you got a minute?”
Rainbow frowned, not sure what Gilda might want but sure she didn’t want to deal with it. “Yeah, of course.”
Lemon Zest and Windfall left the stage so Rainbow was alone with Gilda. Truthfully, she didn’t like for anyone to be alone with Gilda, but if someone had to be, she was glad it was herself. She didn’t expect Gilda to do anything as crass as physical violence, but she did expect something every time she saw their new bassist singling anyone else out.
“What’s up?” Rainbow asked. “Something wrong with the soundcheck?”
“No, it’s not about that. It’s about Fluttershy.”
Rainbow frowned and narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t even fake a casual tone at that. “What about Fluttershy?”
Gilda seemed oblivious to Rainbow’s tone. “It’s… I was just, you know, wondering… So how long has she been out of the closet for?”
Rainbow gritted her teeth. “Why?”
“Nothing really, just kinda wondering. I’ve never actually known anyone so, I don’t know, open?”
“Is that a problem?”
“What?” Gilda shook her head. “I never said I have a problem with it.”
“Fluttershy’s gone through way too much shit to need anything about being gay.”
“I don’t care that she’s gay!” Gilda threw out her arms. “What the fuck, Dash? I was just asking a question, I’m not some homophobe!”
“Then why do you care? What’s it matter if you don’t have a problem with it?”
“Maybe because I’m bi and I thought it was fucking cool to meet someone who’s that open with liking girls. But you know, if this is gonna be your attitude then fuck off, I’m not gonna deal with you accusing me of shit.”
Rainbow was too stunned to stop Gilda from walking off, and even if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t know what to say. As usual, Rainbow had run off her mouth without understanding what was going on, and now all she could do was watch the results of her actions walk away.
With a sigh, Rainbow left the stage. She saw Lemon Zest running after Gilda. Great, it was obvious enough that Rainbow had fucked up that someone else was getting involved too now.
Meanwhile, Windfall looked at Rainbow. “Uhh, everything okay?”
Rainbow sighed and took a seat next to him. He passed her a can of beer, so she opened it and took a sip. “I don’t know. I just try to do the right thing, and it always blows up on me.”
“Well, there’s something to be said for good intentions, right?”
“I guess…”
Windfall drank some of his own beer, then finally asked the question they both knew was coming. “So what happened?”
Rainbow sighed and sunk into her chair. “Gilda was asking questions about Shy being gay, and I thought… I don’t know, that she was making a big deal out of it for nothing.”
“Why does she care?”
“Exactly! That’s what I was thinking, why the fuck does it matter, you know? But then…” Rainbow deflated. “Well, turns out she actually has a reason.”
“So it was just a misunderstanding then.” Windfall shrugged and wore a grin. “No big deal, you just gotta sort it out.”
“She’s pretty pissed at me.”
“Pretty sure Gilda’s pretty pissed at everything all the time.”
Rainbow chuckled. “She always was, huh? Even back in middle school.”
“Especially back in middle school,” Windfall corrected. “If anything, she’s chilled out a lot since then.”
“I guess. But back then, I don’t know, I guess I was pretty pissed at everything too.”
“Ah, puberty.”
“Yeah.”
They sipped their drinks in silence for a few moments, the weight of her actions slowly sinking onto Rainbow. She’d screwed up twice today, and it was still early yet.
“Hey, Dash?” Windfall frowned. “You know Shy isn’t the same as when we were in middle school, either. She’s grown up a lot, and I don’t think she needs you to protect her anymore.”
“You just… don’t know her like I do.”
“That’s not fair.” Windfall looked Rainbow in the eye, then turned away. “I’m not as close to her as you are, but I do know her. And I knew her back then too. In those days, yeah, she needed you to look out for her. But now she’s stronger. She can take on the world, you know?”
“But just… what if she can’t? What if she still needs me, and I don’t do anything to help?”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be there for her. We’re all here for her, and Gilda is too, whether you believe that or not.”
“Tch.” Rainbow drank her beer.
“I’m just saying, you know, you don’t need to baby her.”
Rainbow sighed. “Lightning Dust told me the same thing.”
“I’m not saying me and Dust are the smartest people out there, but I think if we both see it, well, that means something.”
“Maybe.” Rainbow finished her beer and stood up, tossing the empty can into a nearby trash can. It missed, but she didn’t bother to get it. “Thanks, Windfall.”
“Anytime, Dash.”
Rainbow sighed in resignation. “I think I should find Gilda.”
“Yeah, just clear the air.” Windfall tossed his own empty can into the trash, landing his shot perfectly. “Everything will work out.”
“Maybe.” Rainbow walked in the direction that Gilda and Lemon Zest walked off. She looked around, but didn’t see either of them. Instead, she found Fluttershy.
“Hey, Dash,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“Hi, Shy. You seen Gilda around?”
Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “No. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. She just…” Wanted to talk to you? Even after what Windfall had said, Rainbow couldn’t bring herself to admit that. “I saw her and Lemon Zest wandering off, and I wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”
Fluttershy gave her a knowing smile. Did she know that wasn’t entirely true? “Rainbow, you can’t keep doing this.”
“Er, doing what?”
“I know you don’t like when Gilda’s alone with us, but she’s part of the band now. What happened in middle school is over and done with.”
“Yeah, but –”
“No buts, Rainbow.” Fluttershy smiled. “You need to learn to trust people more. Sometimes people deserve second chances.”
There was someone else that Fluttershy had tried to give a second chance. That didn’t work out so well. “I guess sometimes people deserve second chances, but other times… well, some people just don’t change, Shy.”
Fluttershy’s tone became darker. “Are you talking about Gilda or Sunset?”
Rainbow frowned and answered automatically. “Gilda.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Sunset deserves more credit than you give her, and you definitely shouldn’t hold her actions against Gilda.”
“She threw a glass at you.”
“It wasn’t at me,” Fluttershy pointed out for what felt like the hundredth time.
Rainbow shoved her hands into her pockets and turned away. “Whatever. This isn’t about Sunset.”
“Okay, Dash. But you still need to give Gilda a second chance. She’s part of the band now, whether you like it or not. This attitude of yours isn’t helping anyone.”
“Yeah, alright.” Rainbow smiled, but she didn’t buy into it for a second. All she needed was one reminder to set her mind straight. “I’m sure Zest and Gilda are fine. I’m gonna go head to the dressing room.”
“Alright, Dash. I’ll come back and check on you in a bit.”
Rainbow smirked and kept her eyes on Fluttershy as she walked backwards. “I’m fine, Shy. You worry too much, you know that?”
Fluttershy smiled. “So I’ve heard.”
Rainbow turned around and made her way to the dressing room. To hell with finding Gilda, and to hell with what Windfall thought. All it took was one reminder of Sunset, and Rainbow’s course was set.
Maybe Fluttershy didn’t need to be protected in the same ways anymore, but she still made bad decisions sometimes. She was too trusting, and it had already blown up in her face in a major way with Sunset. Rainbow wasn’t done protecting Fluttershy, and she wouldn’t let Gilda or anyone else hurt her again.