The restaurant was so quiet; you could hear a pin drop. On a mattress. In the next town over. Rarity was so angry, she looked like she was about to explode twice. Spike sucked up all the courage he could muster, and went against his every last instinct to open his mouth.
“I just remembered something Dusk,” he lied. “You forgot to bring your wallet, didn't you?”
“What do you mean, Spike?” Dusk objected. “I have my wallet right-” Spike covered his surrogate brother’s mouth with a claw.
“…So we have to leave right now, so we don’t have to pay,” Spike continued through gritted teeth. The mares said nothing, as they were too busy having a stare down. Well, Rarity was having a stare down. Pinkie just sat there smiling, retaining the best poker face in Equestrian history. Meanwhile, Dusk’s eyes widened in realization.
“That’s right!” he said. “I totally forgot to bring my wallet! Oh well, we’d better scram, Spike and I never really touched our food anyway. Thinking about it, I think we should go our separate ways at this point-NOT THAT I DON’T ENJOY YOUR COMPANY, PINKIE! It’s just that I’ve got some errands to run. It was nice running into you too, Rarity. I’m sososososo sorry for Pinkie’s behavior; she hasn’t been feeling herself today.” And with that, Dusk & Spike ran out the door faster than you could say, “What a freaking cop out.”
After the boys left, Rarity finally spoke up in harsh whisper.
”This. Means. War,” she hissed, a combination of ice, venom and steel coating her every word.
[I wouldn’t have it any other way, mule,] Pinkamena challenged, but Pinkie said otherwise.
“Actually, I don’t want Dusk coming in between us, Rarity,” the pink party pony proclaimed. “You were just being a real meanie-meanie pants about it, and with that kind of attitude, I don’t think you’re the kind of girl to be Dusky-wusky’s special somepony.”
“I’m going to the Boutique to freshen up,” Rarity said. “And I didn’t want you of all ponies to be dragged between me and Dusk, but you have forced my hoof. From this point on, we are enemies.” She turned her back and began walking out of the restaurant.
“Please don’t do this, Rarity,” Pinkie said, her emotions flickering back and forth, from an upbeat mood and a solemn tone of regret. “I really still want us to be friends.” She dashed up to the fashion designer and gave her the most well-intentioned hug she could give, crying softly. “D-don’t throw away our f-f-friendship just because of some s-stupid colt, *sniff* p-pretty please with sugarcoated dandelions on top?”
[What the buck are you doing?] ranted Pinkamena. [She’ll take advantage of your kindness and steal Dusk right under your nose!]
Maybe, Pinkie thought. But I know Rarity better than that. She’s the Element of Generousity, after all! It would be OOC for her to win Dusky-wusky unfairly, even if I gave her the opportunity.
[Whatever, it’s your funeral,] huffed Pinkamena. [Just don’t go crying to me when that slut comes around to brag about a mini-bookworm in her oven.] All the while, Rarity stared into Pinkie’s eyes, which showed nothing but pleading sadness. Finally, the marshmallow sighed in defeat.
“Fine Pinkie, we can still be friends,” she relinquished.
“WHOOPEE!!!”
[Buck me sideways. And here I thought life was going to get interesting.]
“But,” she interrupted, “That doesn’t mean I'll just hand Dusk Shine over on a platter.”
[I stand corrected.]
“I propose a contest,” she continued. “Whoever can win the honor of becoming Dusk’s Shine date to the Gala with her feminine charms by the end of the day shall indivertibly become his lover, and the loser will be forced to halt her advances. Agreed?”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” said Pinkie. “And in the end we’re still friends, right?”
“Of course.”
“Hip-hip-hooray! Oh, and one more thing Rarity,” she added.
“What is that, Pinkie?”
“Can I have one teensy-weensy hayfry from your head? I’m still super-hungry!”
Dusk Shine galloped through the streets of Ponyville, bumping into ponies and causing minor spills where he went.
“Thanks again for the bail, Spike,” he said when he finally caught his breath.
“No prob, bro,” Spike said modestly. “What are number-one assistants for?” His expression turned to that of concern. “But you’re still gonna go with Pinkie Pie, right? Remember, I called dibs on Rarity, and no living mortal can disrespect the dibs!”
“I still have no idea on who to take to the Gala, Spike,” confessed Dusk. “I mean, Applejack asked me first, then Pinkie went all psycho on me and guilt-tripped me into asking her, Rarity probably thinks we’re already as good as married, and Rainbow Dash just wants to clop me in public!”
“Then why not take Dash?” grumbled Spike.
“Spike!”
“Sorry. Where are we going again?”
“To the one pony in town I know who’s not gone completely bonkers,” said Dusk with determination.
“Oh, hello Dusk,” Fluttershy said timidly as she opened the door of her cottage. “Come right, if you don’t mind. I’m sorry if I was unprepared for your visit, but you didn’t plan a visit.” Dusk walked right in, and plopped on the nearest sofa in exhaustion. “Oh my, are you alright?”
“No,” said Dusk bitterly. “In fact, this is the worst day of my life. Being harassed, knocked out, tortured, and fought over by four different girls can do that to a guy.”
“Oh my,” said the yellow doormat. “That sounds serious. Do you know what can really relax my animals when they get stressed out?”
“What?”
“A nice massage and letting it all out with a long talk,” she said innocently. “Of course, I’m normally the one doing the talking, but in your case, I think you have a lot to talk about. That is, if you don’t mind.” Dusk Shine’s ears perked up at “massage.”
“That doesn’t sound too bad,” he said slyly.
“…And then she threw a hayburger at her face!” Dusk said while lying on his chest, Fluttershy’s hooves soothing his pinched-up muscles.
“Oh my goodness,” Fluttershy commented. “I had no idea that Pinkie had such… issues like that. She’s always such a happy pony! Do you think we need to have an intervention?”
“Oh, definitely,” agreed Dusk. “I need to have a talk with her, get some feelings out in the open. But first, a more important issue is at hoof.” He regrettably interrupted Fluttershy’s massage by rolling over onto his back. “Who do you think I should take to the Grand Galloping Gala, Fluttershy?”
“Well,” she said. “I think you should take Spike, she’s ever so helpful to you. Plus…” she leaned over to whisper. “I think she might have a crush on you. You know, like the ones you have on your teachers when you’re little? I think you could make her very happy by taking her, just for one night." Dusk burst out laughing at this.
“What? Did I say something wrong? Did Spike overhear me? SPIKE, PLEASE DON’T BE MAD!” Fluttershy hollered into the next room.
“As a matter of fact,” Spike said with a growl. “I did overhear you. And for your information Flutters, I’m a full-fledged MAN of a dragon, plus Dusk is like a brother to me!”
“Omigoodness!” Fluttershy squeaked, blushing furiously. “I had no idea! This is just like the time I first found Angel!”
“Uh, don’t worry about it!” Dusk said, trying to calm his crush. “It was an honest mistake, really! Spike gets mistaken for a girl all the time.”
“What?? I do NOT!!”
“Ignore him, he’s really ashamed about it,” Dusk lied.
“I think I see it,” commented Fluttershty. “I’m no stranger to being embarrassed.”
“Anyway, back on topic,” Dusk said, “Who’s would be your second option for the Gala?”
“Oh, umm… nevermind,” Fluttershy mumbled.
“C’mon Fluttershy, I need an outside opinion!” begged Dusk.
“Nevermind, it’s not important,” she dismissed.
“Please?”
“Well,” said Fluttershy. “If I was in your place, I would take… myself.”
“Do you mean a cloning spell or going it solo?” asked Spike.
“No, I mean you should take me,” she shook her head. “No, that came out wrong. I meant to ask Dusk to me on the date. No, it’s not a date! Well, it technically says it’s a date, but I don’t want to pressure you into thinking that it’s a date Dusk, but if it can be a date want it to be, even though I’m not sure if I like you that way or not…”
At the Gala, aka Fluttershy’s Woodland Wonderland…
I’d inhale deeply, smelling all the exotic flowers of the Royal Canterlot Gardens. I had to relish the scent, because on that night and only would every single flower be in bloom.
After taking all in, I would sing ever so softly in order call all the critters that lived there. One by one, the cutesy-wutesy animals would crawl out of their little homes, and I would introduce myself to each and every last one of them, even if it would take all night. There’d be blue jays, mockingbirds, wombats, hummingbirds that really hum, buzzards that really buzz, kolas, pandas, grizzly bears with their little cubs, flamingoes, door mice, toucans, owls, froggies, otters, and hundreds of others. We’d be such good friends, and I would love them all!
And they would all love me back.
Then, a woodscolt (Sorry, I’ve always imagined you as a woodscolt in this private little story of mine. Do you mind? No? Okay, then) would silently creep up on me, also drawn by the sound of my voice. He would step on a twig, startling me.
“Sorry,” the woodscolt would apologize. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you lost?” I would look around. Oh no, in all my joy in introducing myself to the wildlife, I seem to have forgotten my way back to the dance! I probably wasn’t even in Canterlot anymore. I nodded, not saying a word
“Well, you shouldn’t wander off on your own,” the woodscolt would scold me in a well-intentioned manner. “A young filly like yourself must be at least a little afraid of the dark.”
“But sir,” I would finally speak. “I’m not a filly, but a mare.”
“Oh,” he’d say bluntly. “In that case, I suppose you could take care of yourself. Carry on, then.” He started to walk away.
“Please don’t leave me!” I’d call out, galloping up to embrace him with trembling hooves. “Even though I’m a grown pony, I’m still scared stiff of the dark! Please, you need to stay here to protect me until morning.”
“Don’t worry,” he’d assure me, returning my hug with care and stallion-like strength. “I’ll be here to guard you always, my fair maiden.”
“Y-you really think I’m beautiful?” I’d say, hiding behind my mane just a little.
“But of course,” he’d say, placing a hoof under chin to adjust my eye contact to him. “I’ve just begun to know you, but I feel like we were destined for each other. I also feel we can do… this.” Then he would kiss me, our tongues doing some kind of intricate dance. His horn would light up, delicately untying the laces that held my gown together. My wings would gently lift from arousal, soon flapping us up into the sky. We would both be terrified from our inexperience with flying, but as long as we held on tight, nothing could come to harm us. Oh, how we would-
-Is it just me, or is this fantasy more realistic than I usually picture it?
Fluttershy’s eyes flew open as she realized that caught in her incredibly steamy scene of Fifty Shades Shy, she had accidentally locked lips with Dusk Shine in real life as well. And was he kissing her a little back in return? He was! He was enjoying this!
Omigoodness omigoodness omigoodness omigoodness omigoodness omigoodness… she thought as she jerked away. She flew up to her bedroom as fast as she could, hastily boarded the doors and windows, hid under the bed, and swore to Celestia never that she’d never go outside again as long as she lived. She never felt more embarrassed in as long as she could remember. With her luck, Dusk will probably think that she’s just plain easy and not worth it to be his friend, or worse, he might have become aroused and try to be a friend with benefits to her. The thought of being somepony’s personal hooker terrified Fluttershy, and now a thousand worst-case scenarios played through her mind. There was a knock on the door, the one where Fluttershy secured with a repurposed bookshelf.
“Fluttershy?” called the voice of Dusk Shine. “Are you in there?”
“No,” she lied, trying to disguise her voice. “Nopony named Fluttershy lives here! I heard she moved to the next town over about three seconds ago.”
“Fluttershy, could you come out of there? We need to talk.”
“No,” Fluttershy said stubbornly. “Go away!” She paused for a moment. “…please?”
”If you don’t let me in, I’ll just have to force myself in anyway.”
“Dusk, can you just leave me alone please? I’m asking really, really nicely.”
“Look,” sighed Dusk. “I want you to let me in so I can ask you to the Grand Galloping Gala.” There was the sound of moving furniture, and the door opened by a crack. One of Fluttershy’s eyes peered out.
“What did you say?” she asked with disbelief. Dusk Shine tore open the door, and got down to grovel at the tree’s knees.
“Please be my date to the Gala!” he said, trying to retain his dignity as best he could. “You’re my only hope!”
“…”
“Please, Fluttershy?”
“I’ll have to think about it, if that's okay with you. In the meanwhile, could you please leave me alone?”
“So what, are you just gonna tell all the rest of them no?” asked Spike as he rode Dusk out of Fluttershy’s cottage. “That you’ve chosen somepony else to take to the Gala, just like that?”
“That’s the plan,” said Dusk.
“You’re even gonna tell Pinkamena?” his surrogate brother pressed.
“I’ve… got a plan for that, too,” said Dusk a little uncertainly.
“Oh? And what is that?”
“I’m still kinda working on it. The point is that I’ve made my choice, and I’m not going to be treated like a bargaining chip anymore,” he announced with renewed confidence. Then, Dusk noticed something a little strange. “Hey, did you realize it’s been raining for like, the past ten minutes?” he wondered aloud.
“What? What do mean? If it was raining, we’d be wet already.”
“That’s what’s I was thinking,” he said suspiciously. He looked up at the sky. A patch of sunlight in the stormy clouds followed him where ever he went. With a closer look, he discovered that the hole in the clouds was manipulated by a lone pegasus.
“Rainbow Dash!” hollered Dusk. “Is that you?”
“You’re insulting me Dusk,” Dash said, popping her head from out of the hole in the sky. “Who else would be generous or awesome enough to operate a mobile hole through this rain, just to keep you dry? Speaking of which, could you move a little slower? This thing’s harder to move than it looks.” Dusk Shine was unmoved.
“You’re not trying to butter me up, are you?” he inquired.
“Naw, me? Why would I try to bribe you for the ticket?” she chuckled. “You still haven’t chosen yet, have you?”
“I never said anything about the ticket,” Dusk deadpanned.
“Oh,” said Rainbow Dash, feeling a little dumb. “Anyway, are gonna take me, me, or the best choice: me?”
“Fluttershy,” answered Dusk.
“Say again? Either I have some dust in my ear, or that’s a pretty weird way of pronouncing ‘Rainbow Dash.’”
“Rainbow Dash, I’m serious. I asked Fluttershy to be my date,” said Dusk, trying to hammer in his point.
“And she said yes? I doubt it,” retorted Rainbow Dash. Dusk Shine looked at the ground.
“Well,” he confessed, “She actually didn’t give me a straight answer, she just told me she’d think about it.”
“Now that sounds more like Fluttershy. She’ll probably chicken out in the last second. That said, you’ll probably want to have a backup date. And who else can you depend on more than ol’ Swagmaster Dash? ” She batted her eyelashes in a ridiculous manner.
“No,” Dusk said calmly. “There’s no way I’m changing my mind.”
“Fine,” she scowled as her beam quickly turned to a sneer, “Then I guess Fluttershy can keep you dry in the rain from now on.”
Dusk’s eyes widened. “Rainbow Mary Ann Dash, don’t you dare-” *FOOSH!* Before Dusk could finish his threat, rain started pouring down on him & Spike relentlessly.
“That could’ve gone better,” Spike commented.
Dusk Shine trudged through the streets of Ponyville, his thoughts full of bitter regret. Okay, calculated. For next time, I’m gonna tell the girl that I’ve already found a date, but I’m not gonna tell her who. Fluttershy has enough on her plate already. Yeah, that should do it.
“Darling!” exclaimed Rarity as she saw her one true love. She had apparently washed up from the incident back at the restaurant and dressed herself in a lavender poncho for the weather, complete with a custom saddle-umbrella. “You’re positively drenched.” Dusk looked down at his hooves. They were covered in mud and grime.
“It isn’t a far walk from my house,” he said. “I think I can afford to get a little wet.”
“Nonsense, my dearest!” the marshmallow proclaimed, levitating the umbrella onto his back. “We shall go to my place to freshen up. Besides, I have a new suit for you there.”
As Rarity searched for Dusk’s new threads in Carousel Boutique, a passing thought came to the purple unicorn’s mind.
“Rarity, you aren’t trying to bribe me into taking you to the Grand Galloping Gala by giving me top-of-the-line clothes, are you?” he asked.
“Hogwash,” she denied. “I simply cannot let a stallion of your stature go around walking in the muck, not to mention that I doubt that you bothered to purchase any formal attire yourself.”
“I do have my powder-blue tuxedo from my high-school dance,” the bookworm offered. Rarity cringed at the mental image.
“I… really don’t think that would still fit you, Darling,” she said with a polite laugh. “Now, the shower’s upstairs. Wouldn’t want to get mud on your brand new suit, would we?”
As Dusk turned on the water, he pondered about breaking the news to Rarity. ”Rarity, about the Gala…” no, that wouldn’t work. “Rarity, we need to talk about this obsession with me…” no, that would get me hit with a sewing machine. “I think that we need to see other ponies…” naw, that implies we’ve been seeing each other. How about- All of a sudden, porcelain hooves covered his eyes.
“Guess who, Darling?” a seductive voice whispered in his ear.
Dusk Shine had three reactions to this, each in this order:
Shock: Holy Faust, Rarity’s in the shower with me!
Arousal: Oh boy, I bet her mane’s wet again!
Panic: I am so bucked.
“I’m weally sworry ‘bout that outburst at the restaurant, Dusky,” one of the soaking wet unicorns baby-talked. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” Meanwhile, the other one was hyperventilating for the second time that day.
Don’t turn around, he commanded himself, keep your eyes shut, and whatever you do, don’t look at her mane.
“I know I can be such a naughty little filly sometimes,” she continued. “I guess I need a little discipline at those times…” She leaned closer to nibble his ear.
Don’tlookathermanedon’tlookathermanedon’tlookathermanedon’tlookathermanedon’tlookathermane…
“…Do you know how to discipline a naughty little filly, Dusky?” she said as she took a break from nibbling. “Well, do you?”
“N-no ma’am,” Dusk stumbled with his words. He didn’t dare move a muscle.
“No matter,” she said as she switched from baby-talk back to the sultry tone from earlier. “I can teach you that, along with oh so many other things, like how to reward those naughty little fillies for being… extra naughty.” She turned Dusk Shine around. “But first, could you open those beautiful eyes of yours for me, Darling? You haven’t so much as looked at me this whole time.”
“No thanks,” Dusk said robotically. “I’m perfectly fine being blind here.”
“Well then,” she said, a little disappointed. “I guess I’ll have to tell you where to touch me. Shall we play a little game of ‘Hot and Cold?’” Dusk, having an idea strike him like a bolt of lightning, teleported back to the library.
Coincidentally, that’s where Fluttershy was waiting for him to come home, as she had finally come to a decision.
What Fluttershy did expect was for Dusk to use the door.
What she didn’t expect was for him to appear out of nowhere with a very horny Rarity attached to him.
“Dusk! Rarity!” she shrieked. “Where did you come from? What are you doing? Why are you drenched from head to tail?” Dusk scrambled to his hooves, and took several deep breaths before answering.
“That’s quite *pant* a long *pant* story,” he explained. “But first, *pant* what are doing *pant* in my house?”
“Oh,” she blushed. “W-well, I didn’t really mean to trespass on your property, I’ll leave. You can get back to whatever you’re doing with Rarity” She started for the door.
“NO!!!” he abruptly shouted. “I mean, stay as long as you’d like. Besides, I never asked you to leave, I just wanted to know what you’re doing here.”
“Oh, I just wanted to tell you: Yes, I’d love to go to the Gala with you.” She paused for a moment. “A-as a friend! Not a date! I’m sorry; I’m not ready for a date just yet. Please don’t be mad. You’re not mad, are you?” Dusk’s reaction will have to be revealed at a later time, for it was completely overshadowed by Rarity’s.
“You WHAT??” she screamed. “Of all the ponies I know Fluttershy, why did YOU have to betray me like this? I thought you were my best friend!” she sobbed.
“I-I’m sorry?” stuttered a confused Fluttershy. “What exactly am I sorry for?”
“For stealing away Dusk!” the drama queen answered. “How could you? He was my true love!”
“Oh,” said Fluttershy. “In that case, you can have my ticket, if it means so much to you.”
“Oh nonononono,” Dusk interrupted. “Rarity just tried to ravage me in the sho-mmmph!” Rarity covered Dusk’s mouth with a hoof.
“And I owe you the upmost apologizes for that, my dearest,” she said in a deceivingly even tone, “but it is best not to bring that up in public, especially in front of Fluttershy here.” Dusk removed the muffling hoof from his muzzle.
“But I still want to go with her!” he protested. But before either mare could respond, the telltale sound of a party cannon rang out, and the room was instantly covered with streamers and confetti. Party guests stampeded in, bringing cake and gifts. A banner that said “DUSK-WUSKY + PINKIE-WINKIE 4EVER!” was hung high on the bookshelves. All the guests grabbed Dusk and threw him up into the air repeatedly as Pinkie Pie sang an upbeat tune of her own devising:
Dusk Shine the bestest boyfriend I’ve ever had!
Whoopie, whoopee!
Pinkie…
He's the cutest, smartest, all around best po-ny, po-ny!
Pinkie.
I bet if I throw a super-duper fun par-ty, par-ty…
Pinkie!
…he’ll keep his promise and go to the Gala with meeeeeeee!
PINKIIIIIIIE!!!!!!!!!
“Yes, Dusky-wusky?” said Pinkie as her unwitting minions finally dropped her interest of affection on the floor.
“I’ve had enough,” he said. “Spike, are you there? Where are you?”
“I’m right here!” called out a voice in the crowded room. “I came as soon as I heard about Pinkie’s party!”
“Alright. Everpony else, get the buck out of my house! I need some privacy.” One by one, the guests of the unwanted party walked out. The only mares left from the incident were Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had somehow slipped in, since they had caught word of Pinkie Pie’s party as well. “I said, everypony out,” he grunted. “What are you still doing here?”
“Well Sugercube,” said Applejack. “We believe we all have a right fer th’ ticket, an’ we’re not gonna leave ‘til ya come to a decision fer th’ Gala.”
“I’m just here because you said I could stay,” said Fluttershy.
“There isn’t going to BE a Gala,” he said with a sigh.
“WHAT?!”
Dear Princess Celestia,
I’m returning the tickets you sent me. I don’t care if you say if attendance is mandatory, I refuse to come. Possessing these tickets for a DAY has gotten me tortured, molested, flung into the air several times, rained on, kissed, and-
“I have an idea,” interrupted Fluttershy. “Why don’t we ask for five more tickets? That way, we can all go, plus Spike!” There was a brief silence.
“THAT’S THE BIGGEST LOAD OF MANURE I’VE EVER HEARD!!” Pinkie and Pinkamena said, both at the same time. “THERE’S NO WAY IN TARTARUS WE’RE DOING THAT!”
To make a long story short…
They did.