The sun rose as it did everyday, the birds chirping happily as their voices filled the air. It was a peaceful morning and meant to be uneventful, though opening the door to my house made a frown appear.
A faint snoring joined the sounds of waking up, making my lips turn down in a frown. Well I guess Twilight fell asleep in my bushes again. Slowly I walked over to my garden hose, turning the knob to the coldest flow I could manage and as much pressure as the extra-dimensional pipes could produce. Soon I began my rounds of walking to each and every bush, peeking inside each one before finally only two remained.
My antics had gathered a crowd by now, a good distance away a mare was selling popcorn as a stallion was taking last minute bets. I waved for the pool to close as I stepped up the the left most bush, peeling it back slowly a sight scorched my eyes with its fury. I gagged and let the leaves fall back down as I soon glared at the offending shrubbery. It contained Lyra, a pony most well known to the town as 'Humans did it' conspiracy theorist. Since I had arrived more ponies didn't call her crazy, but still asked me if humans caused things like a missing shoe.
I held up the hose, moments away from blasting the bush before shaking my head. 'No I blasted Lyra last week after I found her first. Twilight deserves it.' So with many a groan of lost bits I stalked over and peeled back the branches. Curled up with a pair of night vision goggles in her hooves was Twilight. There was her fields journal which was settled a bit to the side, my foot scooted it away from the blast zone before I took aim.
The crowd waited with bated breath before I pulled the trigger and sent a stream of cold water right against her wings and fur. She awoke with a start before rolling in her back and kicking her legs like she was running. Her wings flapping and smacking against the dirt as her instincts kicked in. A chorus of laughter and a few whoops echoed in the air before I walked and started sliding Twilight towards the other bush and soon had the pair of ponies being pushed by a stream of water. I smirked as several ponies gawked as their sudden win was whisked away but one colt stood proudly as he had won the pot.
The two mares laid in a heap of hooves and wet hair. I snorted at the pair before walking back to shut off my hose. The mood already soured by this all I walked back into my house and slammed the door.
I stood in my front hallway and blinked as a pony stood at the door to my living room. "Who are you?" I asked it. It looked like a pony but was all black with compound green eyes. Dragonfly like wings buzzed on its back as it looked towards me.
"Oh it's me Carrot Top." It responded with a voice like a foghorn.
I blinked before opening my door to peek out and see the mare in question selling carrot products to the mob of betters and spectators. So with a frown I turned back towards the thing in my house, grabbing a flip flop from the floor. "Oi you aint senorita Top, seniõr. Yousa an impostor!" I stalked forward and held the flip flop before its nose. "Now are you gay or European?"
The changeling was startled as it looked at the footwear being waggled before it. Both eyes seeming to cross before it fell back onto its flanks. "Umm gay?" It seemed nervous, uncertain at its own response.
"Oh, why didn't you say so!" I yelled out happily, grabbing the thing by a hoof and dragging it to a door. Now if people say Equestria is bright, this door and the world beyond got it beat for days. It was neon rainbow with glitter and sparkles. It made me shiver at the sheer amount of it all. Slowly I opened the door before hoisting the changeling up by horn and tail before tossing it in and locking the door. "Hope they like it there."
With that bow accomplished I started down the hallway when a door opened up. A tall olive skin man stood there before frowning. "Were they not European today?"
"No Ricardo they weren't. Now please take your speedo and get back in your door."
"Well aren't you rude. Ricardo out!" He clapped his fingers before music began to play and the hall was filled with disco lights. His bulge swinging with his hips before he twerked back into his world.
I groaned out before locking the door again as a knock came from my door. It prompted me to sigh and slowly head back and open it. "Yes?"
A wet and angry Lyra and Twilight stood before me, both mares seeming to charge their horns. I frowned before reaching out to flick the tip of each as I sent their spells flying off into Ponyville.
Lyra's bolt hit Applejack's cart before freezing it and the mare running it into a solid block of ice. The mare inside seeming cross as she glared out from her icy confines.
The spell from Twilight was a bit different, it hit the side of a building. Barely missing Mayor Mare who was on her morning jog. The wall seemed to melt into a pool of goo before two eyestalks rose up from its mass. Quickly and quietly it slipped down an alleyway to escape experimentation or extermination.
So I stood before two mares who seemed like I'd kicked them in the family jewels. "This happens every Monday. Give it a rest! I mean seriously I've told you both I'm not interested in testing or experimentation. Now begone thot and nerd!" With that I slammed my door and began my morning as a resident of a multidimensional doored house.