//------------------------------// // Through the Hoops, Through the Portal // Story: Traveling A New Road // by Longhaul //------------------------------// 1. Through the Hoops, Through the Portal “Please have a seat, they’ll be with you shortly.” Nodding my thanks to the pony seated behind the ornate desk, I sat down in one of the plush chairs in the empty waiting room. My nerves were evident as I fiddled with the folder in my hands, the enclosed papers containing additional information along with the CV I had previously provided. It was a stroke of luck that I was even able to get this far in the process; from what I had heard, there were literally hundreds of thousands of applications, and that was just from my country alone. Thinking to myself, as I sat in the waiting room at the top of one of the tallest towers in the city, I resolved that no matter what happened today, I would be happy that I had at least made it this far in the process. *~*~*~*~* My journey to this place began several weeks ago. It began innocently enough with reports of strange beings being sighted in different parts of the world. Tales flew about creatures that resembled miniature horses, some with single horns on top of their heads, others with wings and the ability to fly. Naturally, most of these were attributed to vivid imaginations and consumption of the local hallucinogen of choice, and quickly dismissed as fallacy. It wasn’t until the appearance of a taller equine-like creature, sporting both large singular horn and wings, appeared at the nation’s capital that these sightings were taken more seriously. She introduced herself to the nervous security and law enforcement forces as Princess Luna Nocturnis, co-ruler of a land called Equestria with her sister, Princess Celestia Solaris. After making initial diplomatic contact, both of these “alicorns” (as they identified themselves) were soon addressing the nations of the world at the United Nations building, seeking to establish relations with this strange world their inhabitants had reported visiting in recent times. Some of the more ambitious of the world’s leaders attempted to conquer this strange land with military might. Watching an entire army battalion being essentially wiped from the face of the earth by not an army, but one lone alicorn with a nasty temper, sent the message that these creatures were perhaps not to be trifled with, but rather approached with friendship and kindness. After a few months, when things had calmed down, the princesses sent forth word that they were considering allowing some humans to live among the ponies, and that those interested should submit an application, along with an accounting of all education and employment, and those that passed initial screening would be contacted for a face-to-face interview. I figured I had nothing to lose, it might be a nice change of pace from the life I currently knew, and you never know what will happen unless you give it a shot. I made my submission and waited. I received a box in the mail a couple of days later. The box contained a candle, with holder, and a note. The note said to light the candle, and await further communication. I admit, it was a bit unnerving at first to see a candle burn without melting away, and the greenish flame was unlike anything I had seen since I had worked at the copper manufacturing plant. Still, if nothing else, it would have made a nice conversation piece. Three days later, a scroll popped into existence from the flame and dropped on my desk. I had been selected for an interview, and was given the date, location, and time. So this is really going to happen, I thought. I prepared myself to give the best possible impression I could, and made sure all of the information that they could possibly ask for was correct and in my possession. *~*~*~*~* “They’re ready for you now,” the receptionist pony said, indicating a set of large wooden doors. Thanking her, I stood up, straightening my clothing and checking to ensure that everything was as close to perfect as I could manage. Taking a calming breath, I steeled my resolve and knocked upon the doors. “Come in, please,” a voice called out. I turned the knob and entered, seeing both Princess Celestia and Luna sitting behind an even bigger desk than the one out front. I saw their smiles slip a little bit when I entered, and it took all of my will to keep my own smile upon my face. Well, so much for this, I thought. Perhaps I’m not what they want after all. I bowed reverently when I got closer. “Your highnesses, thank you for seeing me,” I said, maintaining a cheerful demeanor. The princesses both nodded. “Please have a seat,” Princess Celestia said, indicating the chair with her hoof. I sat down, clutching my folder perhaps tighter than I realized. I loosened my grip to prevent damaging the contents. “As we explained in the scroll we sent,” Princess Luna said, “this phase will further determine which candidates will be selected for our pilot program. Following the interviews, we will be conducting thorough background checks on every applicant. Are there any incidents that we should be aware of that will turn up in our search?” I shook my head. “Short of past traffic violations, all of which should have been expunged by now, I have no type of criminal record.” Luna smiled a little. “Excellent.” She and Celestia looked over copies of my CV. Celestia flipped the pages with her magic. “You’ve held quite a few jobs in your time. Did you not have a clear career path in mind for yourself?” Celestia asked, her brow arched, studying me and my reaction. I sighed inwardly, hoping it didn’t reflect on my expression. “I had a few aspirations when I was younger, mostly boyhood dreams and the like. I wasn’t able to fulfill them in the manner I wanted to, but I did at least make some effort to realize them. It did take me a while to see what I truly was happy doing, and as you should be able to see, most of the jobs I held had that element in common throughout my employment history.” Celestia nodded. “I see. And, it isn’t like humans have cutie marks to guide their destiny along, either.” She shifted a few papers. “Do you have your medical history and copy of latest physical?” “Yes,” I replied, handing her a stack of papers. “These are the results of my latest DOT physical, I hope they’re satisfactory. I also have results from visits with my primary care doctor.” “Yes, this will do nicely.” Celestia and Luna studied the papers. After a short while. Celestia set the papers down on the desk. “Now, do you have any questions for us?” Luna asked, studying my reactions carefully. I thought for a moment. “I was curious as to what the overall goals of this program were, and if there was any special criteria you were seeking.” Luna nodded. “A fair question indeed. Simply put, there have been lots of questions about your world from our subjects, and we thought that by introducing your species into our world gradually, with a few select families, our little ponies could see and talk to you, perhaps soothing fears and learning about you in the process.” “And while my sister did indicate that we are seeking families to raise human children in our world,” Celestia added, “we are also seeking single individuals so our ponies can get a fuller picture of how humans live and interact.” Slightly relieved at hearing that, I nodded. At least I wasn’t completely out of the running yet. “And you will provide assistance in getting established in Equestria, I take it?” “Correct,” Celestia said. “A house will be provided for the selected candidates, who will be placed strategically in a town of our choosing. A small stipend will be provided for the first month, after which we expect the candidates to have gained employment and be self-sufficient. Of course, we will assist in a small way if unforeseen circumstances arise.” “We have gained knowledge regarding how humans in general live,” Luna added, “and to that end we are making arrangements to provide for those chosen, so their arrival will not be complete culture shock.” “Will a list be provided of what can and cannot be transported into Equestria?” “The chosen candidates will be given a list, yes. Bear in mind that any contraband that is attempted to be smuggled in will result in instant disqualification, at the very least.” Luna looked stern at that last part, no doubt still remembering the attempted invasion. I had no doubt about what might happen in that case. I thought for a moment. “I believe that covers everything I was curious about.” Both princesses smiled. “Excellent.” Celestia began gathering up the paperwork. “We have many other interviews to conduct, but we expect the process to be complete within the next three months. Keep your dragon-fire candle burning, and we will send word when we have made our decisions. You will be notified even if you are not selected.” The princesses rose, and I did likewise. I shook each princess’s hoof in turn, with a slight bow to each. “Thank you again for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.” “Thank you for coming down today, we will be in touch,” Luna said cordially. I turned and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me. I saw two other candidates waiting as I said a quick thank-you to the receptionist and headed for the elevator for my ride to the ground floor. My mind wandered while waiting for the elevator to arrive, and thought about what it would be like to start over again in a completely different world. This was much different from a cross-country move, which I had done twice before, once east-to-west, and once north-to-south. I would be a complete outsider, a foreigner in a foreign land, learning new customs and way of life. I began to wonder if I was indeed over my head, and up to the task. The ding of the elevator interrupted my thoughts, and I stepped inside for my journey back to the lower levels. No sense fretting about it now; it wasn’t even guaranteed I’d be selected for the program. The doors slid shut, and the elevator took me back down to the ground floor. *~*~*~*~* Six months came and went, and still I waited to hear word about the aftermath of the interview. I had figured they would have been swamped with applicants, each seeking their own place in history – after all, how great would it be to lay claim to being chosen to live in an entirely different world? That’s a science- fiction fan’s dream come true. Because of this, I figured the selection process would take a longer time than what could be counted as ‘normal’ by Earth standards. My daily routine continued, and I even started to bank some extra money and pay off my debts. It wasn’t because I had it in my head that I would be chosen, rather it was a sound idea and something I should have been doing long before this even took place. At least now, I had added incentive to clean the slate. Day after day, the dragon-fire candle on my desk continued to burn, but never lost any mass due to melting. The sun hadn’t even risen fully on that Sunday morning when I heard a loud thump coming from the area near my desk. Grumbling, I stumbled out of bed and threw a pair of shorts on, and walked out to see what had fallen over this time. I was stunned to see a pile of books and papers, standing about nine inches tall, next to the candle. A scroll sealed with wax lay on top of the stack, bearing the seals of both of the princesses – a sun motif for Celestia, and a moon for Luna. Carefully, I broke the seals and unrolled the scroll. It read: A good day to you, After a lengthy and careful process, we are pleased to announce that you have been selected for our residency program in Equestria. We had received many applications, and conducted scores of interviews, and you scored within the upper percentile in each facet of our criteria. In this packet are the papers necessary to begin the citizenship process, along with books and pamphlets for you to read in an effort to prepare you for the customs and lifestyles you will be experiencing upon your arrival. We have also enclosed a list of items that are forbidden to cross into our world, along with recommendations for items you should bring for your own personal comfort. You have been selected to reside in the town of Ponyville. Proper housing is being secured and will be ready upon your arrival. We have arranged your arrival date for six months from the date of this letter. As our calendars are similar in design and length, we trust this should not pose too great an inconvenience in getting your affairs in order prior to departure. We will also arrange for transportation of your goods into our world. Once again, we bid you congratulations, and eagerly look forward to welcoming you as one of our newest citizens to Equestria. Most sincerely yours, Celestia Luna I re-read the scroll to make sure there was no misunderstanding, and that I hadn’t missed a word. Nope, sure enough, it was really happening. Being too excited to go back to sleep, I instead made a lovely celebratory breakfast and coffee, and while I ate, I read through some of the literature that had been provided. *~*~*~*~* Six months may seem like a long time, but as I knew from past experience, time had a way of sneaking up on you, leaving you scrambling at the last moment. I was determined to not let that happen. I carefully made a list of things that needed to be done, and their approximate completion dates. I also had to begin the arduous process of sorting through the things that I had collected during my life, and deciding which would come with me and which would be forever discarded. Of all the tasks I faced during that six months, this was perhaps the hardest one of all to complete. And, as I had expected it would, the actual day of the move came all too soon. “Here’s the last one,” I said, placing a cardboard box on the tail end of the wagon. Yes, wagon. A rather large wagon pulled by a tall pony. He’s what they call an ‘earth pony,’ having no wings or horn. He was gray-furred, or at least I guess it was called fur, and had a brown mane and tail. He wore a battered Stetson-style hat on his head, and busied himself positioning the things I brought out of the apartment, securing them tightly inside the wagon. He had a unique design on his flanks, what I learned from my reading was called a ‘cutie mark,’ and his was of a wagon wheel with a set of wings. He told me the other ponies all called him Longhaul, and back in his younger days he carried goods across the whole of Equestria. Having been a cross-country driver myself, we hit it off pretty well, swapping stories about our lives on the road, and the strange things we’d seen, although nothing I could tell compared with some of the encounters that Longhaul had during his career. I mean, sure, I’d hauled produce and been bonked on the head by crates of broccoli and heads of lettuce when the loads shifted, but at least a gang of ravenous rabbits never attempted to hijack my load. “You sure that’s all there is?” Longhaul asked, looking over the load as he slid the last box into place. “I was expecting lots more than this, given the stories from the other moving ponies.” I shook my head. “Nah, I’m only taking the essentials. I figure I’ll be acquiring more stuff once I get settled in.” Longhaul nodded. “Gotcha.” He secured the load with straps. “So, what’s left to do?” “Just got to lock up, turn the keys in to the rental office, and then we’re ready to cross.” I stopped and looked around. It was just after noontime, the day was clear and bright but not too warm, and as I looked around, it was finally sinking in that this could be the last time I ever set foot on the world I had known as home. The enormity of it hit me and I felt tears forming I my eyes. I blinked them away quickly and drew a shuddering breath. I felt a hoof nudge my arm. “Hey, you okay?” Longhaul asked, his voice filled with concern. I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I passed a bottle of cold water over to Longhaul and sat down on the steps leading to the apartment. “Let’s just take a quick rest before we head out.” Longhaul took a drink from the bottle, holding it quite well for a creature with only hooves. That was going to take some getting used to on my part. “So, what made you want to leave all of this and come to Equestria?” he asked, adjusting his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes. It took me a minute to ponder my answer. “Humans are strange creatures. We’re always on the lookout for new experiences, wanting to try new things, just to see if we can do them. Some do this for financial gain, some for the excitement and thrill they get out of it … me, I just thought it would be a nice change, and I really don’t have much here anyway. Why not see what I could do somewhere else?” “If that’s the case, then why go somewhere completely unknown? Staying here and moving to a different town or city would be a change,” Longhaul countered. “’Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.’ Yeah, it would be a change, but would still be familiar. And, I suspect after a short while, it would feel exactly the same as it does now. I wanted to go somewhere completely new and learn it from the ground up — the customs, the inhabitants, the ways to make a living. I guess it’s more of my last hurrah — do it now before I get too old to do anything.” Finishing my water, I stood up and walked back into the apartment, taking a careful look around. After making sure I hadn’t left behind anything I wanted to take, I secured the apartment and walked back outside to Longhaul. “This won’t take long, I’ll be back in a minute.” Having turned in my key, I went back to where Longhaul was waiting with the wagon. He had hitched himself up and was ready to get moving. About a month before the move, I bought myself a bicycle and began riding regularly, in an attempt to get used to it as it would be my preferred method of transportation in Equestria. I mounted up and pulled alongside Longhaul. “Okay, let’s head out, we’re losing daylight.” With a mighty tug, Longhaul got the wheels on the wagon rolling and we made our way to the portal. It was explained in the literature that I received that the portals were an experiment gone awry, which was the reason for the random appearances at various points across the globe. The princesses managed to refine the spell that created them, allowing for more pinpoint placement, which meant that when the day arrived for the move, there was a portal waiting along a quiet side road not far from my apartment. All the better from a security standpoint. Two stone-faced guards stood by the portal entrance. Longhaul and I slowed our approach, and came to a stop when instructed. One guard went over to the wagon while the second approached me. “May I see your access papers, sir?” the guard asked in an official tone. I quickly passed the paperwork over to the guard, who took them in his magic and nodded after giving them a cursory glance. “Okay, please wait here while we finish our inspection. Won’t take too long.” The guard returned to the wagon to aid his partner. Word had spread about one couple that had attempted to smuggle some contraband across the portal. Their stupidity was rewarded with a complete revocation of their citizenship offer and a stint in the Equestrian prison system, before being returned to Earth. I shook my head when I learned about this, wondering just how stupid my fellow humans could be, and cautioning myself to not think too hard about that lest I get an answer that I might not like. After a few minutes, the guard returned to me and passed my papers back. “Everything checks out. Welcome to Equestria.” He smiled and gave a signal to his partner, who lit her own horn and directed it at the portal entrance. The portal, which had been a hazy, opaque oval shape framed by a ring of gold, suddenly became clearer. On the other side stood small, modest houses, dirt roads, and just at the entrance, a welcoming committee of ponies. A pony mare with gray hair and glasses stood in front of the group, bearing a nervous smile. Longhaul let out a low whistle. “Wow, looks like the entire town came out to greet you. Just remember not to say anything stupid,” he quipped. I chuckled and gave him a slight nudge. “Guess we’d better not keep anybo—err, pony waiting.” Dismounting my bicycle, I pushed it along while I walked alongside Longhaul, crossing through the portal slowly. The guards followed, and once we had made it to the other side, the portal vanished without a trace.