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// 1 What's A Tulpa 
// Story: Hypnotic Hijinks 
// by Cyndaquil 
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You’d probably think I had my fill of pranks after the whole town faked a zombie apocalypse to teach me a lesson.

For a while I did go cold turkey.  I was so out of the prank biz, I didn’t even see one of the most obvious pranks ever, when I was the one being pranked.  

It was around the time I started teaching at Twilight’s school.  I was the cool teacher, the one they all looked up to.  Maybe that’s why a certain Griffin wanted to knock me down a peg.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I opened the door to my eight o’clock class, and no a bucket didn’t fall on my head.  I made my way to the desk, and no there wasn’t a banana peel on the floor.  I sit down, and no it wasn’t a whoopee cushion.  I opened a jar of peanut brittle, and there weren’t any spring loaded rubber snakes.  Finally I start writing on the chalkboard.  

A few students complain that I write too fast, that I’m erasing the old notes before they can finish copying.  I was actually good that day.  I still wrote fast, but I gave every pony, they weren’t ponies, I gave them all time to finish before I started erasing.  

I ran the eraser back and forth across the board, fast like I always do.  There are a few giggles.  I figure it’s just the girls passing notes.  I can let that slide once, I’m the cool teacher after all.  I continue erasing.  Then I pick up the chalk to start writing again, only the board isn’t clear.

My old notes were still there.  Now the students are laughing.  Like an amateur, I pick up the eraser and try again.  I do it again and again.  I press harder into the board.  

Now the whole class is roaring.  At last I decide to smell the eraser.  Gallus the Griffin, coated it with some sort of lacquer.  It smelled a little like that green stuff changelings spit up.  I know it’s Gallus because he’s actually pounding his desk and chanting, “I got you, I got you good.”

I turn around.  The students actually gasp a bit.  I must have really let it get to me, cause with one dirty look, suddenly its like I’m not the cool teacher anymore.  

Most teachers would say detention, or go to the principals office.  Not me, I look at him, starring ice daggers at the kid, and you know what I say, I say:  “It’s on.” 



Starlight Glimmer sat at her desk and wrote something in her notebook.  Twilight just kept looking at me with a sad face.  She was taking this way too personally.

“So that’s why you started a prank war with one of your students.”

“Didn’t you listen to anything I just told you.  He started it.”

“Seriously, is that your defence.  Gallus has fleas now.  We might have to shave him to prevent an outbreak; and as I understand it, that’s just the latest in a chain of pranks you’ve been pulling on one another.”

“Aw c’mon, the kid loves it.”

“He doesn’t love having fleas.”

“Hey, he clipped the feathers of just one of my wings while I was taking a nap.  Even with Zecora’s feather growth potion, I couldn’t fly for three days.  That’s three days of missed training for a star athlete.”

“So are you recommending I punish the student as well?”

“Nah, we’re square.  I did give him fleas.” 

At this point I was a bit worried. 

Starlight started searching for something in her office closet, so Twilight took over.  “We discussed how to deal with your behaviour.”  

Starlight pulled our a black box and placed it on the desk.  Twilight continued.  “Traditional punishments and reprimands have not worked in the past, and as you say, the students love you, and we’d hate for your potential to be squandered, because of one problem we can’t seem to resolve.”

“That’s why I recommended a somewhat unorthodox solution.”  Starlight finished.

I eyed the box suspiciously.  “Are you talking about mind control?”  Starlight seemed a bit unnerved when I said that.

“Maybe, sorta, how’d you guess?”

“It’s your goto thing, it’s what you’re known for.”

“What - No it’s not!”

“It totally is.”

Starlight pulled a string, and the box unravelled to reveal a funny looking device.  It looked like it had been cobbled together from a mishmash of parts.  It had a piano metronome in the front, a rainbow kaleidoscope with the lenses reversed and a candle facing one lens in order to project the colours outward.  There was a hand crank and a system of gears that operated the hammers on a xylophone, and it had an egg beater attached for some reason.

The gadget was clearly meant as a hypnosis tool.

“Hold on, you can’t make me do this, whatever it is.”  I was shaking my hooves at the idea.

“I won’t do it without your consent.  Also, we’re not going to alter you personality.  Twilight was very firm on that point.”

Twilight nodded.

“So what will this do,” I asked.

“The machine is just to put you in a trance, I’ll do most of the work by reading a script which me and Twilight have prepared together.  The goal is to give you a tulpa.”

“You want to give me flowers?”

“No, not tulips,” Starlight corrected, “a tulpa.”

“You want to give me a wig?”


“No, it’s not a toupee either.”

”it’s a companion created by mental powers who exists in your mind yet can think independently of you.”

“Okay, now that you explain it that way, IT SOUNDS LIKE A HORRIBLE IDEA!”

Twilight and Starlight both looked at one another, as though surprised by my reaction.

“This tulpa,” Twilight continued, “will be dormant until she’s needed or called upon, but she’ll also pop up whenever you’re about to misbehave.  She’ll be like you own personal Jiminy Cricket.”

“A voice in my head, no thanks.”

“You’ll still have privacy.  We’ll put safeties into the induction script.  Also, to sweeten the deal, she’ll do other things, she’ll learn foreign languages and be your translator, you can lend her your body for mundane tasks, as long as you’re a little friendly with her she’ll delight in solving problems and pleasing you.”

“Look, bottom line, the students families have heard about the pranking.  Gallus’ Grandpa actually laughed when he heard about the fleas, but the Yaks and Changellings are outraged.  I think this is the only way we can keep you on as a teacher.”

“So, is this permanent.”

“Well, it can be, but you might also grow out of it, like a foals imaginary friend.”

“Have you ever done this before.”

“Not exactly, Pinkie seems to have a natural tulpa.  She perceives it as a  tall white rabbit named Harvey.” 



I wasn’t to keen on the idea, but I eventually relented.  I didn’t want to let my students down.

They gave me the induction script to read over and approve, but that was like twelve pages, so we just got into it.  In retrospect I probably should have read that script, because I don’t remember a thing after Starlight turned on her makeshift hypnotic doohickey.  There were lights and sounds then it was like falling asleep.  For what was to come, you’d thing this would have been a bigger deal.

When I woke up, they told me it was done and the tulpa would probably manifest soon.  Twilight gave me a glass of water, and I left the office.

On the way out, I met Gallus.  He apologized for getting me in trouble.

“I’m so sorry, I thought we were having fun, being like friends even, and it just got out of hand.  Now my family is disappointed, and I don’t know if I can stay in school or not.”

The kid was on the verge of tears, I promised him everything would be okay, we hugged even.  Then I remembered the fleas.  He got me.



Later I did a little flying, and was lying down for a quick nap.  I saw this little wisp of light, fluttering around me.  

What is that?, I wondered, it’s like a breezie, and probably because I thought that it became so.  She looked just like me that one time Twilight turned us all into breezies.  I was totally the cutest one, not that it’s a contest, though I was.

She had insect wings with a complicated pattern of every colour in the rainbow.  It kinda reminded me of the kaleidoscope on Starlights hypnotic doohickey.

“Hello,” she said, sounding a little shy.

“Hi,” I answered.  “Do you have a name.”

“Well, your Dash right?  I was thinking Dot, like Dashes and Dots; or maybe Dance like Dasher and Dancer.  I guess that’s kinda lame.”  She turned her head blushing.

“Nah, either works.”

“Really, which do you like best.”

I thought about it.  “Dot, I guess.  Maybe Dotty as a nickname, even though it’s longer then Dot.”  

She did loops in the air, happy to suddenly have her own name.  I had to admit this thing was kinda cute.

“So can anyone else see you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“So you’re gonna pop up and nag me whenever I’m about to prank someone.”  Maybe I was a little too abrupt with her.

“I guess I’m supposed to.”  Weird thing, right from the start she didn’t seem to certain about it.

Anyway, I started scratching the fur on my neck with one of my hind legs.  The fleas were starting already. 

Dot knows what’s going on.

“Hey maybe you can drown them with some scuba diving, or fly high so they don’t get much oxygen, or I know, do a sonic Rainboom and blast those fleas off.”

I decided to give the last one a try.  Dot is so happy, she watches and cheers louder then Scootaloo, starts telling me how awesome I am.

Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.  



In the days that followed, Gallus was constantly looking over his shoulder.  

Up till then we’d been taking turns, I get him, he tries to get me.  He knew it was my turn.  The kid seemed a little disappointed when nothing came his way.  

Truth is I didn’t really try to prank him for a while.  I thought maybe I’d pull something on Pinkie, just to see if I could still prank.  Pinkie loves being pranked.

I got a cast of Gummy’s mouth, Gummy is her pet Alligator, by the way.  I got a cast by tickling the gators chin until he opened wide and getting to bite on this pliable thing the dentist gave me.  Then I had the joke shop whip up a pair of gator dentures.  The teeth weren’t sharp, though they looked like they were.

The hard part was trying to train the gator so it’d smile once, then start chasing Pinkie.

I was standing by the expressionless animal, pointing at pictures of Pinkie, and saying things like go get her, and making growly noises.

After twenty minutes of attempted training, Gummy blinked once.

“I have a suggestion.”

I jumped like four feet in the air.  “Who said that?”

I turn around, and there’s Dot.  “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

She apologized, blinking with her innocent little doe eyes.

“You here to tell me I shouldn’t prank Pinkie.”

“Actually…” 



That afternoon, Pinkie came home from her grocery shopping.  She’d met me on the way, and I’d given her a little something.  She told me I was so thoughtful.

When she opened the door to her apartment, she stepped forward and loudly announced, “Oh Gummy, I have your favourite treat.”  Proudly she held up a package of minced whatever it is alligators love to eat.  If it’s turtle then I guess I just won’t mention that to Tank.

The Alligator looked at her expressionless for a moment, then it smiled a big toothy grin.  

Pinkie gulped.

Suddenly the creature began running toward her, mouth wide open.  Pinkie dropped the treats and galloped in the other direction.

I rolled on the carpet laughing.  When I was done, Gummy was chewing on my tail with is harmless wax dentures.  Dot was laughing louder then me.

“Hey, I thought you were supposed to hate pranks.”

“I dunno, maybe.  I think I zoned out at that part of the hypnotic induction script.  Twilight made it way too long, and it read like a legal document or something.”

I eyed her suspiciously, then we both started laughing together. 



Of course having Dot around didn’t always add to the fun.

True she never really nagged me about pranking, aside from repeating Applejacks old line that pranking Fluttershy is just lazy.  She did, however, always want more to do.  So when we needed a volunteer to teach ballet, yeah apparently we have a ballet classes, I found myself raising a hoof to volunteer during the teachers meeting.

I tried to pull the hoof back down with my other hoof, but she had total control of it.  I guess she didn’t listen when Twilight read the safeties in her induction script.  Rarity or Pinkie might have volunteered too, if they weren’t so amused by the spectacle.  

Twilight asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Of course it is.  I’m just volunteering because I really love ballet.”  I said this while biting my own front leg to try and pull my hoof down.  As usual Twilight was dense when it came to sarcasm.  She even invited me to go see the Nutcracker next Hearth’s Warming.

The next day, I made my way into the schools dance studio, and took off my coat, scarf and toque.  It was a blistery winter day, but that’s not why I was covered up so.

Dot had me wearing leg warmers, a pink halter, and a polyester headband, though thankfully no tutu.  I looked like a pony in an 80’s dance into shape video.  Already in the class, doing warm-up stretches, were Ocellus, Smolder, and Silverstream.

While helping her with her stretch, smoulder told me she was just there to give support to nervous little Ocellus.  She said, “I’d never do anything as lame a ballet on my own.”

When I helped Silverstream with her stretch, she told me, “Smolder won’t admit it, but she loves ballet. Me and Ocellus only came to encourage her.”

Ocellus studied the screenplay, all diligent like,  and then turned to me, “I’m a little confused about the script.  Odette turns into a swan, I can do that, but then I have to dance with an evil twin.  Shouldn’t someone else be Odette, so I can transform into her twin?  And if we do that, then who else can turn into a swan?”

I laughed nervously, my way of showing I had no idea what she was talking about.  Thankfully Dot took over.  “Traditionally the transformation is shown metaphorically, through the dance.  I do like you ideas though.  I’ll consider them, though this is just the first class, and I can’t give you the lead role just yet.”  She gave a little wink, or I did.  Dot was controlling my body, I guess.

We do stretches for a bit and I’m thinking, ‘This isn’t so bad, it’s like the warm-ups before a show.  Wonderbolts are a kinda performer, so maybe ballet isn’t so weird after all.’

Pretty soon I’m actually having fun.  Or perhaps I should say Dots having fun.  She’s wowing the gals with moves, and I have no idea where she even learned them.  My body does a grande jete, a triple fouette, and the developpe.  Later, I had to ask Dotty what those moves even were.

The girls got really into it.  Silverstream was clapping her hooves, and chanting “Allegretto,” and I, I mean Dot, moved into the fast Allegretto tempo. 

Then Smoulder chanted, “Allegro.”  I moved even faster.

Wanting to play along, Occellus called out “Adagio.”

I stopped in my tracks and looked around.  “Adagio, where?”  

Ocellus was referring to the tempo, not the villain.

About that time I noticed something.  Gallus had wiped snow from the window, to stick out his tongue at us.  I stuck mine out, right back at him.  I tried to egg him into flying in closer, thinking maybe his tongue would get frozen to the glass.

Gallus then stepped back and pointed towards a tree in the schools courtyard.  I wondered why he was pointing there.  The girls all approached the window to look.

“Oh no!”  Ocellus sighed.  

“That jerk!” declared Smoulder.

Gallus had apparently snuck in and raided the lockers.  All our regular clothes were strung to a tree, and we only had ballet outfits to wear.  

“That rat.  He’s forcing us to go outside in sweaty ballet outfits.  My ensemble was bad enough, looking like the 80’s had barfed on me, but the girls were wearing tutu’s actual freaking tutu’s.”

“You know, we could just go outside naked.”

“No way, it’s 35 below outside.”

“Hey we joined the damn club.  Ponies were gonna see us in tutu’s anyway.”

“I’m doing it, Smoulder declared,” while removing her tutu.

“Let me do it.” Said Silverstream.  “I don’t mind wearing a tutu outside.  In fact, give me all your clothes and I’ll bundle up.” 



The next day we were in a disciplinary meeting.  Don’t look at me, I didn’t snitch.  Anyway, we’re discussing how to handle Gallus’ behaviour.  Pinkie is telling me about this guy she knows, and his gag factory when Applejack interrupts.

“We’re going to punish him, not Prank him!”  She declares.

“Aw c’mon, just a little prank, it’ll help the kid understand how it feels.  We’re a friendship school, isn’t that like a good lesson in… uh…”  Dot whispers the word ‘Empathy’ into my ear.  “Empathy.”

“Darling, I’m afraid Gallus’ lessons may have come to an end.”  Rarity spoke ominously.

“What’s that mean?”  I asked.

“Gallus’ may need to be expelled.”  Applejack sounded regretful, yet still spike matter of factly.  

“You’ll expel him just for a prank.”

“It’s not just a prank.”  Rarity cut in again.  “Stealing girls clothing falls under sexual misconduct.  It’s a far greater offence.”

“Oh come on!  Gallus was just pranking, his motives weren’t anything like that.”

“I know, but rules are rules.”

“Where’s Twilight!”  I demanded to know.  Why isn’t she here?”

“Twilight and Starlight both got called off on a friendship mission yesterday.”

“Shouldn’t we wait and…”

“The rules are clear, and they go over even Twilight’s authority.”

I begged Applejack to reconsider.  This was partly my fault, I admit, as a teacher I wasn’t the best influence.

Pinkie took out a rule book.  Her and Fluttershy seemed to be on my side.  After pouring over the rules for a few minutes, Fluttershy gave me a sad nod.  The sexual harassment policy was set in stone.

Pinkie, however, turned to a whole other section of the book, and pointed a passage out to me.  

“I invoke rule 27.”

“I approve, you may take recess to prepare arguments in Galus’ defence.”

“Wait, that’s it!”

“Yup, rule 27 is your right to call that recess.”  Applejack explained.  

Pinkie shrugged.



I was a mad at AJ and Rarity.  They acted like Gallus deserved this.  At least Pinkie and Fluttershy were trying to help.  

I stepped out of the office, for some air.  The students were all waiting outside.  Even the ones who were pranked begged me not to let Gallus get expelled.  I told them I was doing my best, and flew off.  Once alone, I called for Dot.  

“Hey pipsqueak,” I called.  “You got any idea’s.”

There was no answer for a while.  Maybe I finally grew out of having imaginary friends.  

I flew a little longer, feeling like I’d screwed up, feeling like I was helpless.

“One idea,” came a meek voice.  

I saw a wisp of light.  Soon my little Breezie tulpa buddy appeared.  She started flying ahead of me. She must be a product of my mind to be going faster then I can.  

Dot led me to Starlights office.  She knew where a spare key was hidden.  Someday I’ll have to ask how she learns these things.

She went into the closet, or rather I did, and grabbed it.

“Is this what I think it is?”  I starred at Dot.  

“It’s the hypno-doohickey!”  Dot flipped in the air.  She was giddy, cheerful even, confident in the answer she was offering.

I thought for a moment, then put my hooves on my hips, and looked her in the eye.

“I’m starting to think you’re a bad influence on me!”