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// Luster's Acquaintances (S1 E4) 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 2 (My Little Pony: Reign of the Goddess-Queens) 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Twibitch, 

Well I finally decided to do that fucking assignment you gave me, get to know some ponies.  Now naturally they aren't worthy of friendship but they are acquaintances and I tricked them into tolerating me.  You see, I told them that you would kill me if I didn't find some ponies to hang out with and surprisingly  they actually felt sorry for me.  Now yeah, that hasn't helped your image down here any but sometimes a pony has to lie to get things done. 

Let me start out with the sexy one.  Yes I did get to know Bunny Tracks and good grief she is retarded.  She barely speaks to other ponies and prefers to sing to those stupid animals of hers.  Now unfortunately the little bitch yelled at me for watching her ass as she walked but a day will come when I will initiate her and she will become my friend. 

Now for a true genetic defect.  I met this pegasus named Scootaloo and get this, the little bitch can't even fly!  Yep, her wings never grew enough to get her off the ground.  Now I call bullshit on that because there is this pegasus that takes steroids down here with even smaller wings and he can fly.  I think she is just too fucking stupid to fly and to make matters worse, she lives with her lesbo aunts, lesbos just like you and Starlight.  Despite her being defective, I got to know her and will spend time with her when it is necessary. 

Then there are these two little bitch earth ponies that come from rich families, Diamond Tramp and Silver Skank are their names I think.  I have heard that in the past that they were bullying little bitches but now they are all nice to everypony.  What a bunch of losers, at one time they knew they were the best but now they think they're on par with other ponies.  Oh fucking well, I decided to become acquaintances with them since I'm being forced.  Now despite them being earth ponies and being losers, I might try to make friends out of them someday.  I do think they're hot and my horn is really seeking rich girl pussy. 

Then there is this country mare Apple Bloom who is good friends with the defect that can't fly.  Dumb thing about her, her cutie mark resembles the defect's and a squeaky voiced white unicorn, her name is Sweetie Bitch I think, that is annoying as hell....yeah I decided to spend some time with her.  I had to put up with her non-stop bitching about how you took her sister away from her for years and was complaining about your mother and how she hated them.  Now I did get a bit of a laugh out of it but hey, I've made SIX acquaintances.  I heard when you got banished to this shithole you only made five so I'm up on you there bitch! 

Now that I've got to know some of these rejects and will be doing shit with them, could you give me a time table of when you'll let me come home?  Yeah I fucking hated putting up with you but dealing with these inbreds is probably going to be worse.

Making Acquaintances, 

Luster Dawn





Dear Luster, 

Look bitch, you are to address me by my title.  Perhaps if you ever become respectable and treat me with respect like Bright Beam does Starlight, I'll let you call me just by my name but for right now, I can tell that won't happen.  Now regarding the ponies you have got to know, outside of Bunny Tracks, I know all of them. 

Now I don't know what is wrong with Scootaloo and why she can't fly but if you insult her even one more time, I will come down there and paddle your ass red.  Regarding those rich earth pony fillies, I never was a fan of those bitches even after they allegedly reformed....I do have a feeling though that you'll probably befriend them first because they think the world owes them everything like you do and given nopony else will accept them, maybe they will put out for you. 

Regarding the unicorn, I get letters from her all the time and I just toss them in the trash, I have no need for her drama and the farm pony, she is decent....not a prize rooster but still way better than you.  Who am I kidding, everypony is better than you, hell Cozy Glow is better than you and she nearly destroyed Equestria, TWICE.   You know you better be good because one small part of me wants to free Cozy Glow and turn you to stone instead.  Yes she is a conniving little thing but at least she isn't a spoiled, self-entitled bitch like you are.

Now don't do anything to jeopardize hanging out with those new acquaintances.  If any of them stop wanting to hang out with you, I'll do to you what I did to that worthless guard or you'll wind up in the sculpture garden, capiche?

Surprised You Made Acquaintances, 

Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle

P.S.  Regarding Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, they were on my mother's shit list because they published embarrassing pictures of her in the local school newspaper so of course they were on her shit list.  They are on MY shit list too because one time they took advantage of me because of my popularity.  The little bitches got their whole class to do shit for them because they were close to me....and that is why they are on the list of ponies you must befriend.  I want to make them just as miserable as I'm making you.