Dear Luster Dawn,
You have once again failed me. I send you down there to set up a festival for my sister and I yet you fuck up big time. I also told you to make some friends and all you did was try to seduce that one pegasus who is into rabbits. I put a lot of faith in you but you allow some giant bug thing to attack the town during the ceremony and do some damage to a few houses. I should have known better than to send you down there to take care of this and to make matters worse, it is my sister's protege who went and calmed that monster down. It is pretty bad that my sister's protege has to do what was part of your duties. She got the festival back on track while all you did was throw a fit and make me look bad.
You know what, I already said that I would make you stay down there but now I mean it. Screwing up like this is unacceptable and for the time being, I don't feel like having to deal with you face to face. When I feel like having to deal with you on a daily basis again, I will let you come home. For now though, you will be living in my old castle and you will make some friends here. Hell try to befriend that one that likes the rabbits so much. She reminds me of one that I spent over five years trying to initiate into my circle of friends. Now I highly doubt it but maybe if you throw yourself out to her and offer to clean up her animals' shit, maybe she'll put out for you.
Now I must cut this short because Starlight and I are having a freshly baked cake delivered to us in bed. Don't have too much fun down there Luster!
Disappointed in You,
Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle
P.S. I would like to know where Spike was. I thought he would be out helping you like he always helped me. Now listen and listen carefully, in the future you need to have him out helping you so you don't fuck anything up.
Dear Twibitch,
How the fuck was I supposed to know that some sort of monster was going to come in and crash the party? You sit there and act like I have the gift of foresight but I don't. To make matters worse, Starlight's fucking little angel goes and just talks to the damn thing and suddenly it transforms into a changeling. I also saw how Bright Beam, Starlight and that changeling were having a casual conversation and sharing a few laughs. If I didn't know better I would think that you probably set this up. I know for a fact that Starlight is friends with the changelings and all of you probably concocted some sort of plan to make me look like a fool and make her precious little ass kissing protege look good.
I suppose I should thank you for letting me live in your old castle but right now I can't bring myself to do anything other than curse your fucking name. Now tell me, how the fuck am I supposed to make friends with a bunch of inbred hicks who lack the intelligence to be in my presence? Outside of that pegasus that loves rabbits, none of them are worthy of having my friendship. Mark my words though, Bunny Girl's pussy will meet my horn before too long and then I will at least have one friend. Just leave me alone for now, I don't want to have to correspond with you any further.
Oh and regarding Spike, he was being a little asshole. He told me that he had to come along to make sure I did everything right so I grounded him and kept him confined to the castle. He should know that he is my slave and does what I say, not challenge my authority.
Hating Your Guts,
Luster Dawn
P.S. I saw you and your sister sucking face behind the school down here and I am disgusted by it. I actually feel ashamed to be the protege of a pony who commits incest with her sister IN PUBLIC. I swear, if you two didn't have infinite powers and if Equestria still had an ounce of morals, they'd demand you abdicate the throne or overthrow you in a coup. One day they will finally realize that incestuous sisters are doing nothing but hurting our image in the eyes of the rest of the world and do what it takes to fix that problem.
Dear Luster Dawn,
Tell you what, it took me many years to befriend the ponies I did so at least try to make some acquaintances like I did. Nopony ever said you had to like them but at least get to know some ponies because I'll be damned if I'm going to let you hide out in that castle and do nothing.
And regarding Spike, you are not to treat him like a slave nor are you to "ground him" and keep him confined to the castle. If I didn't need a quick way to communicate with you I would just take him home with me. Watch it Luster, if you keep this up I'll force you to move to the apple farm and have Applejack put your sorry ass to work!
Making Sure You Don't Hide Out,
Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Don't make me laugh Luster. Sure some ponies frown upon what my sister and I do but a majority of the country has taken the attitude that if it doesn't affect them directly that they simply don't care. Don't forget, both Starlight and I lived in Ponyville for a while and they eventually grew to like both of us AND we did stuff like that constantly down there so I doubt they're going to think anything bad about us! You however, they'll probably hate you solely for being a bitch in public.
Dear Bright Beam,
I am so proud of you! Even though you have been busy taking care of Vice-head mare duties, you were able to jump in and stop that changeling from leveling Ponyville and you saved the festival that was being held for my sister and I. I am glad to know that you were able to get Pharynx to stop wanting to destroy the town and then got to know him. He is pretty nice once you get to know him. My guess is that he was merely having a bad day but don't worry, he won't do this again. Again thanks for saving the festival.
Sincerely,
Starlight
Starlight,
Well I just saw that a creature was attacking town and I did what any good unicorn with powerful magic would do. I am glad to know that it was just a changeling rather than a legitimate monster but I like to think of it as a test. I think of it as a test that would show whether or not I could protect the school and I passed. I feel more confident now that if any dangers arise, I can protect the students down here....and if you ever need any help setting festivals up down here, let me know! I'm pretty sure that I will do a much better job than Luster Dawn will. I heard her grumbling and bitching about having to come down here.
Sincerely,
Bright Beam
P.S. I'm not sure if anypony else saw it or not but I saw you and your sister kissing passionately behind the Ponyville schoolhouse. Now I don't have any problems with it, hell I think it is cool that you and your sister aren't afraid to show your love for one another. I know Luster knows what you two do and doesn't like it but I think she is jealous because you two won't let her in on your activities. Oh well, I see nothing wrong with it and Equestria is way more accepting than it used to be so I bet nopony else will see anything wrong with it either.
Dear Bright Beam,
Well I am happy to know that you see nothing wrong with the activities that my sister and I partake in. This is another reason that you are such a great protege, you see nothing wrong with sisters sharing a special kind of love with one another. Now I'm sure there are some things you won't stand for, such as Luster finding a way to reproduce, but the fact that the love between my sister and I doesn't bother you is good to me!
Sincerely,
Starlight