Where did he go?! You had to watch your back, your sides, below, everywhere. If the fight was still on, then Discord could make any kind of entrance he wants. He could dive in like a meteor, he could drop in Godzilla style, he could come through the ground, he could even… float down on an umbrella dressed like a British nanny, ok then.
“Deary me, what a frightful wind that was.” Discord said in a polite tone as he gently landed beside you as he greeted you with a warm smile. “Anon, how are you today? Not getting into TOO much trouble I hope.”
You just shake your head slowly at Discord, the shame of it all. “Really, Discord? What’s next, a spoonful of sugar? We’re supposed to be fighting here, y’know?”
“Oh, I know, but I just had to take a moment to properly congratulate you first.” Discord said as he gently tossed the umbrella away and began to clap. “You actually caught me off guard with that baton, bravo.”
Wut? “You’re congratulating me? Yeah, ok…” You jump into a fighting stance, prepared for any attack Discord might be planning. “You should already know I’m not falling for your tricks.”
“No tricks, Anon.” Discord said as he walked past you, arms behind his back. “That would be the first time anypony has managed to properly counter my chaos with some of their own. Makes me proud, Anon.” Discord then looks back at you with a cool grin. “You know that, right?”
“What do you mean? I’ve countered you before.” You remain at the ready. He was obviously getting ready to pull some kind of bullshit.
Discord waggles a talon at you as he turns around. “Not like that. Anon, haven’t you realized it yet? Or did you truly think you could actually beat me with not only chaos magic, but MY chaos magic.”
What does he mean by that? You’ve managed to hold him off so far. And if what he said about you countering him is true, then you must have some upper hand against him right now if he has to rely on such a simple trick of trying to catch you off guard through conversation. “What are you getting at?”
“Anon, what do you think I’m getting at? Aside from a minor slip, this happens to be my pocket dimension, my magic, my reality. I could have beaten you at anytime. I could have pulled this entire arena away like a rug, transformed you into something squishy and weak, or I could have even disabled your horn. But that wouldn’t be fun, and that wouldn’t teach you the lesson I’m trying to teach you now.” Discord said, his tone becoming more serious with every word.
Your eyes widen. Holy shit, he could have done all those things, things you didn’t even think of doing since you just wanted to overwhelm him with power. But what did he mean by teaching you? Did it have to do with him congratulating you? Wait, was he training you? Did it have to do with this fight? Wait, that’s why he pulled the whole teaching thing, wasn’t it?! This wasn’t a class just for your classmates, this was for you too! I-if that’s the case, then… “So, you’ve been letting me think I had a chance the whole time just to teach me something about chaos? Discord, why? I already know a lot about chaos magic, so what is this all about?”
Discord scoffed as he began to scratch at his forehead, annoyed. “Everything, Anon! It’s the very reason I gave you that upgrade in the first place. All that power and you still nearly get yourself destroyed!” Discord was becoming angry, emotional, as he stomped up to you, pointing at you with his talon. “I can forgive the chimera, that was Celestia’s fault! But the Storm King?! You could have easily destroyed him or sealed him right upon meeting him with one charge! And yet you went with what Twilight told you to do! Twilight, who doesn’t even use chaos magic! And don’t tell me he could see the flow of magic around him, that doesn’t matter either. You have the power to shift reality if need be with one singular charge and you not only nearly got yourself destroyed, but Fluttershy as well! The limits I put on your horn was for you to try to be more creative with your abilities with the few charges you have, and even then, you needed a push with the manipulation of your own sanity so you wouldn’t be beat by the likes of some silly dragon or the ‘Storm Ravager’. I’ve given you so much, and yet you squander it every time. Well, Anon, even my patience can be tested. It may be considered a vice to some, but you and Fluttershy are like family to me. I can’t lose either of you, is that clear? Do you understand now why you mastering your power is crucial?”
Oh god, it was like actually being scolded by your father. You didn’t even realize he was really taking things that hard, that he was still thinking about what could have happened back then. He didn’t do it to be an ass or to be intrusive. He really meant it, he did it all so you wouldn’t get hurt. You barely even knew what to say to him. “D-Discord, I… Look, I didn’t know it was… That bad. Did I… Did I really worry you that much? I-I mean, I… No, I didn’t, Tempest did. And I guess I never really bothered to utilize my magic in, like, a way that could decimate completely. Discord, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, I know you are. But you’re wrong about decimating your foe as well. You’re supposed to toy with your meal before you utterly crush their hopes and dreams.” Discord said as he closed his talon tight like a fist. “But I digress. Anon, all I want, aside from the usual, is for you to be safe, to be responsible in your irresponsibility, and to, for the love of all things me, stop being such an entitled nincompoop! Do you ever see me acting that way?”
“E-er, I mean, sorta? Heh, we’re both entitled nincompoops, eh?” You look to Discord with a smile. He was probably right though, you were really losing yourself again. It wasn’t just about relaxing and trying to get your mind out of the trouble you’re in, but you also had to trust in your friends too, and also be a friend to them. It wasn’t just about you. A lesson you somehow keep forgetting.
“Speak for yourself.” Discord said as he pulled at his skirt like window blinds to roll it up, bringing himself to his normal self. “I’m still the best there ever was, and always will be. Now then, we still have a show to put on for your class, and I can see your little lovebird trying to figure out what we’re talking about. Remember, Anon, chaos can only truly counter chaos with more chaos. Do me proud, son.” Discord said as he entered a battle stance. “Alright, make some words or whatever, the fight is back on.” Discord said to the announcer, who was just staring silently.
“Ah, right, right, ahrm.” The clone looked to the crowd, and began to resume his commentary. “Fillies and gentlecolts, after a brief time out, the battle is on again! Anon and Discord are sure to really bring the heat on now! I’d suggest holding on to your seats, because things are about to get wild!“
“Alright, Discord, here I come!” You jump backwards and throw a giant water balloon at Discord.
Discord just stands there, takes the hit, and then raises an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? A water balloon? What is that supposed to do?”
“This! HAHA!” You pull out an electric guitar out of nowhere and start to play a rad metal version of the MLP theme.
“Anon, when I said to put on a show, this isn’t what I had in mind.” Discord said as he stood there, still confused by your wild playing. Though the crowd seemed to be loving it, even Diamond was suddenly fawning over you.
Heh, was he really going to stand there?! Then he was right, you just had to be more creative with your magic, while also making sure to bring in a decisive blow. In other words, confusing him with your song before striking him down with a surprise attack! You call out the final lyric of “FRIEEEENNDDSSS” As a giant lightning bolt is fired off towards the soaking draconequus.
“You kids and your new fangled music. Let me show you how it’s done!” Discord, almost immediately, pulls out a trumpet and catches the bolt of lightning as he begins to play a terrifying cacophony of a trumpet solo.
Wait, shit! He was going to send the bolt back at you! You quickly turn yourself into rubber as the bolt is blasted back through the trumpet. With your body now being rubber, the lightning is quickly nullified.
“How shocking! You managed to negate my counter attack. But now it’s time we heat things up!” Discord said as he snapped his paws. In an instant, a ring of fire appears around you and begins to quickly enclose upon you.
Ah! But you were ready for this one! Discord’s pun pretty much alluded to some sort of fire attack. “Sorry, Discord, but you need to chill out with those puns. Makes you too obvious” You immediately jump back, removing your rubbery skin as an ice clone is created of you. You then quickly buck the ice clone through the ring of fire and towards Discord.
“Oh, an ice sculpture, how quaint. But I’m going to give it a smashing review that-” Discord conjures a baseball bat to slam the ice sculpture back into you. But the moment the bat makes contact, it and Discord himself are instantly frozen in ice. The ring of fire then dissipates.
“Holy hell, it actually worked! Hah! Thank you Mortal Kombat.” You said to yourself as you dance trotted over to Discord, the crowd cheering as you did so.
“Oh no! Somehow, Anon has turned Discord into a block of ice! How the tables have turned! It looks like Anon is about to FINISH HIM now!” The announcer called out.
“Oooh, a fatality, always wanted to do one of-” But as you talked to yourself, suddenly the text saying ‘here comes a new challenger’ appeared above you. “What, huh? New challenger? What is that suppOOH GOD! NO! AGH!” Suddenly, a monstrous four armed Discord grabs you and starts beating the living shit out of you with two other fists before slamming you to the ground, jumping up, and then coming down on you before hopping off and posing to the crowd.
“Pain… S-so much, pain.” You barely roll over on your back and look at the celebrating Discord. H-holy shit, where, how?! R-right, he can b-bend reality… Ngh. Dammit, you should have realized he knew what was going on after his clone made such an obvious quote. You missed the tell.
“Oh no! Anon is down!” Scootaloo cried out as she looked to Diamond. “And he got pounded real good too! How is he supposed to get up from that?!”
“I-I don’t know. D-daddy Discord just hit him really hard, that's all. It's nothing! Anon! ANON! You have to get up! You can’t let him beat you now! I know you can do it!” Diamond called to you, hoping you could hear her.
You could feel it though, Discord did a number on you, you could swear a few bones in your body were broken. Even though you could hear Diamond, you really couldn’t move to make some sort of counter attack. Y-you should have expected Discord was going to come hard after seeing that text. What were you supposed to do? How were you going to fight back? The only way you could even think of beating that was to… Oh wait.
“D-Discord, y-you haven’t beaten me yet.” You say as you slowly try to stand up, coughing up a few teeth as you do so.
“Hm?” Discord stops his posing towards the gasping crowd as he looked to you with a smirk. “Oh? Well, I think I know I’ve beaten you. You should have heeded my words, Anon. You seem a little too broken now to do anything.”
“N-not yet… I still got… This.” You use your magic to summon a few bits. And what do you do with them? You eat them, of course.
“Did you just…? Anon, I know I wanted you to be chaotic, but that’s just dumb. What is that even supposed to…” Discord then looks up and sees the same text you saw before. “Hm? Isn’t that the gag I justOH GOODNESS GRACIOUS!”
Suddenly out of nowhere, you shoulder charge right into Discord, hit him with flaming green skull, shoulder charge him again, and then combo into three warhammer hits before slamming it right on top of him, turning him to mush in the ground. You just appeared out of nowhere, wearing a skull mask. Ha! All you needed was an extra credit to get back in the game! “You are pathetic!”
“W-well, I certainly didn’t see that coming.” Discord said weakly and near broken, splishy splashing as the little puddle he was. “I-I suppose this is what it feels like to be tenderized.”
“Liquefied is more like it! Geez, are you alright? I didn’t mean to crush you that bad.” Like seriously, he didn’t see that coming at all. “You really should leave the pop culture references to me though, I handle them better.”
“It seems so… H-however…” The puddle of Discord does not hesitate for even a moment as he begins to quickly envelope your hammer. Before you can even react, Discord, now the hammer itself, swings himself right into your side, sending you towards the edge of the arena. “I just can’t help but take a whack at it sometimes! HAHA!”
Oh god, you weren’t expecting that either. You just slammed right onto the ground and nearly rolled right off the arena. Shit! You had to get up! You quickly go to get up on your hooves when you noticed Discord, in his normal form, was already standing right in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smirk. “Ngh, s-shit…”
“Better, Anon, better, you managed to counter me twice. But part of your training requires you to think speedily, as an opponent such as myself is quick to recover. I congratulate you, Anon, I think you’re getting the hang of things, but you just can’t seem to learn to always expect that your opponent ALWAYS needs a little more chaos in their lives. Now, I’m going to give you one last chance. Throw something at me, throw it, and I’ll undoubtedly counter it, and then… Well, either you do what I expect you to do, or you actually manage to throw it back at me. Move quickly, Anon, I’m not going to give you too much time to think of something.”
“Oh no! Anon is on his last legs! Unless he thinks of something quick, Discord will have the victory!” The announcer yells out.
“Anon! Do something! Throw him off the ring! You’re so close! You can win! YOU CAN WIN!” Diamond yells out to you from the other side of the arena.
Ring him out? How in the fuck were you going to do that without him countering you?! He was expecting it, he was expecting you to throw something out at him. What could you do to win?! He had enough knowledge to counter even your pop culture spells! There has to be something, something around, something you could use. If not to beat him, but at least ring him… Out? Wait, his words, his words from before. He said he could change reality around him and even pull the ring out from under you. He also said your magic was his magic. So… “Well, Discord, I guess you were right. I guess beating you wasn’t an option.”
“Don’t feel too bad about it, Anon. I told you you had no real chance. I just want you to use this to better yourself. Also, your class really needs to learn to cheer for the winners. I just have no idea what to do to get them to cheer for me.” Discord said as he looked back at the crowd, who was booing at him for the most part.
“Yeah well, I am the hero colt to them, so, y’know. Discord, I really do see what you mean now, and I’m sorry about how I’ve acted lately, getting crazy with Chrysalis and all that jazz, getting mad at you at the drop of a hat, it just isn’t right. Do you forgive me?” You ask him.
“I do” Discord said as he began to look at a bag of clubs. “Hm, now should I use the nine iron? Or the putter?”
“Discord, c’mon, I’m serious. I really mean what I said. Discord, there was even something I wanted to tell you, if you don’t mind me saying it now.” C’mon, c’mon…
Discord was eyeing the length of a 3 wood. “Ohh, this could do nicely. Hm? Oh, yes yes, say whatever you like.”
“Well, Discord…” You slowly began to squirm towards the edge of the arena, and gently placed your hoof right at the corner. “The thing I wanted to say was...PSYCHE!” Using a mixture of your hoof and your magic, you press down on the edge of the arena so hard that you send it directly into the ground in a way that is more like phasing through it, causing both you and Discord to fall right onto the dirt. And that meant…
“Holy Toledo! Anon just pulled a power move! But what a shame of a power move that was as both our fighters are disqualified! That’s right, folks, the fight is over without a winner due to the lack of anything to even stand on! A shame, but amazing play nonetheless! Let’s hear it for our two fighters, yeeeeeeeeahherrmmm…” The announcer tosses his microphone away as he just walks off. “No seriously, how anti-climatic. What even was that?”
The crowd didn’t know how to react, neither did Scootaloo and Diamond.
Discord just laid there, on his face, mortified about what just happened. “How? How did I not see that coming?”
“I took advantage of the one thing you weren’t expecting, me willing to make the fight end in a tie.” You say as you lay on your back, chuckling.
“Ooooh, I really didn’t see that one coming. How detestable, how rotten, how underhooved…” Discord, at first sounding so defeated, then began to giggle. “Finally, a real good use of your magic. I’m proud of you, Anon. You did the right thing.”
“I did? Heh, thanks Discord. You did really good too, y’know? I’m glad you gave me this chance to actually fight you, even if you were just testing me. I promise, from now on, I’ll use my chaos magic better. And for sure, I promise not to give you such a hard time anymore. But you gotta lay off too sometimes, you can be a real ass.” You tell him.
“As if I’d agree to that. No, you do what you like. I’ll remove the upgrade from your horn, but you still remain with the two charges after today. Also, never mention this to anypony. Discord does not tie with anypony, not even you, Anon.” Discord said as he narrowed his eyes towards the sky. He really did not enjoy a tie, even if he was so proud of you.
“Deal.” Well, at least that’s done with. The upgrade was gone.
Discord, fuck man, you don’t need to repeat yourself on what he does for you, you know it. Just, this time, Anon, try not to fuck up. You’re not one of those guys who always have to stick with the status quo. Do it, just… Relax. Well, you were going to see Tempest after this, so relaxing shouldn’t be too hard. You wonder how she’s doing. Hm...
Whatever, the thing is, you have to really utilize this training, utilize Discord's teachings, and not be as much as an ass as you have been. And this time, you have to REALLY actually do that, no excuses.