//------------------------------//
// Chapter-0 In the White Room... 
// Story: Growth 
// by Mister E 
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Journal entry number 1

One year, eleven months, twenty-nine days since my transformation.

I have decided to begin a journal to record what is happening to me. It may seem odd to do so at this late a date, instead of from the beginning, but I feel that now is the appropriate time. 

Things have begun to change.

To say that my life has been difficult for me since Discord has altered me, would be a gross understatement. In the beginning it was one fresh horror after another. Eating, drinking, seeing, hearing,   each was a nightmare. Fortunately, I had the support not only of my friends and family, but also that of the princesses, and of Discord himself. Ironically, it has been Discord who has proven to be the most helpful, having been through the same Hell himself. His advice on how to come to grips with my new perceptions have been invaluable. 

At first I had to use special ear and nose plugs, as well as enchanted glasses that Discord created, just to function outside of the 'White Room'.

Oh yes, the White Room. It's were I live now. It's a room outside of space and time. It's also a room completely devoid of matter. A room filled with nothing but pure energy. It's called the White Room, because that is all that can be perceived once you enter. It's like pure light that hasn't been refracted by coming in contact with anything. Imagine being inside a spherical mirror but having no body, then suddenly a light appears, that is what you would see, the White Room.

Gradually, over time, I became used to the sound of the Rot. It faded in the background. Like ponies that live by the sea getting used to the sound of the ocean all the time. The smell took longer. Truth to tell I'm still not completely immune to it. Mainly because different things rot in different ways. There is no one 'smell' to the Rot to get used to. But I've managed to become tolerant of certain foods, drinks, and the smell of my friends. The fact that I can even write in this journal is proof of that. The sound of the paper as it rots, the smell of the ink, reminiscent of rotting fish, it's becoming easier, in some cases almost… pleasant?

What I haven't gotten used to however, is the unfiltered sight of my friends.

My brain refuses to equate what I am seeing now, with my memories of them. I know intellectually that they have always looked like this. That I am just seeing them in a different way. A more 'accurate' way.  But that doesn't stop me from recoiling in horror, every time that I try to remove my glasses around them.

I should mention that it hasn't been much easier for them either. I don't go out much these days. I leave the day to day business of the castle of friendship, as well as the school to Starlight. She has really come into her own during my absence, despite her inexplicable friendship with Trixie Lulamoon.

The others come visit from time to time, coxing me out of my room. Forcing me to don my glasses, and offer up wain smiles and benign conversations. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my friends, and it's always good to see them, but I need to focus on my studies. Now more than ever. You see, I'm close to a breakthrough.

Discord gave me what I asked for. I wanted to understand how his powers worked. He gave me that understanding in the simplest of ways, he made me, to a certain extent, like he is.

Up until recently however, I have only been able to deal with these new perceptions with the understanding of my 'old' self. That is, I have been trying to deal with them in the terms of Twilight Sparkle the 'pony'. But, over time, I came to realize that if I ever wanted to come to terms with my new state of being if I ever wanted to have any semblance of a normal life, then I would have to cast away my old limited 'self', and expand my way of thinking. I needed to quit recoiling from the horror of my condition, and finally come to terms with it.

To embrace it…

End entry 1