//------------------------------// // A Little Love and Some Accessories // Story: Life Is A Runway // by Split Scimitar //------------------------------// YOU ARE INVITED: Rarity For You BRAND NEW LOCATION! GRAND OPENING! Manhattan, NY, NY Please RSVP to either of the following: Cell: (xxx) DARLING Email: SpikeysWifey@CarouselDressCo.com “Who’s ’Spikey’?” I ask before I notice a kiss mark at the bottom of the card. A smudge test verifies that it is in fact real, and not a stamp. Since I already have both pieces of contact info, I use the phone to répondre. “Hello, you’ve reached Rarity! So sorry I’m unable to come to the phone! Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can! Thank you!” Electing not to leave a message, I decide to make preparations for my cross country trip anyway. But should I stop in Chicago? I tentatively look at the weather from here to Chicago and New York to see if it’s worth the pit stop. Since it’s the end of August, the chances of a powerful cell sweeping through Wild Onion City or The Big Apple are pretty close to 50/50, so really, what this planning session is doing is determining if I want to fly through a thunderstorm or two. N524VA is the only A319 remaining in Virgin America colors and with the VX interior, as the others are fully converted into Alaska Airlines colors, both outside and inside. Fittingly, this airplane is named dark horse. Given recent revelations about having equine counterparts in some parallel/alternate universe that is by some means accessible, the coincidence of choosing to keep this ship full Virgin America is rather apt, don’t you think? *Rarity would like to FaceTime* “Hoo-boy, let me see how stealthy I can be.” I say, answering the call and holding the phone up so I can flip to the forward-facing camera. “Hey Rarity.” “Max darling, why am I staring out a window?” “Sorry, I’m camera-shy. My face is oily.” “Well, I FaceTimed you for a reason! Now let me see your face!” “Ugh, fine.” I respond sarcastically. “There you are, darling!” She beams as I position my phone a little farther from my face. “I’m here. So, what’s up?” “Well, I assume you got my invitation, since you tried to call me earlier.” “I did, and,” I pause to show her the invitation, “is there a reason why you put a kiss mark on it?” I finish indignantly. “Umm, I think you’ll have to call back later, I have a very bad connection.” Not buying her one bit, I respond as such. “I’m not buying it, Rarity. I don’t care what the reason is, just be honest with me.” “Someone’s been spending too much time on the farm!” She singsongs back. “Anyway let me ask, have you been to Europe?” “Yes. Britain, France, and Germany.” “Well, don’t laugh at me when I say this, but I haven’t.” “No?” “Well, not technically. I went with my family when I was very young, probably before Sweetie Belle was born, but I haven’t gotten the opportunity to go back. Until now.” “How are you able to go to Europe within days after opening a new boutique?” “Most of the credit is due to my staff. Sassy Saddles, who runs my San Francisco store, will be in Manhattan a few days to help my Manhattan clerk get acquainted. She does a sensational job at it, almost better than me actually.” “You’re awfully brave admitting that.” “What can I say? She runs a tight ship, and she’s learnt very well from her past mistakes.” “That’s good to hear.” “Yes indeed. Can I count on you to take me across the pond?” “Sure.” “Oh, I knew I could count on you!” “When do you want to leave?” “A day or two after the grand opening?” “How long do you want to spend?” “A few days to about a week. I need to get some inspiration for summer!” “But summer is almost over.” “To survive in fashion, one must always stay ahead of the curve, my dear!” “I won’t argue. Do you need my assistance? Should I plan for New York immediately?” “No hurry, but I would like another driver. Applejack‘s been willing to drive, but she doesn’t like driving in the city. Same with Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer.” “No argument. Besides, I really never go to New York. I bought a house in Manhattan thinking it would be convenient, but I just lost interest in New York shortly after.” “Well, luckily you met me. I can give you incentive to come back!” “Yes and no actually. Rosalina’s good friends Mario and Luigi are from Brooklyn, and their parents still live there, but they actually are the standing monarchs in their kingdoms in the Mushroom World.” “You know royalty?!” “I guess so. And now that I think about it, Rosalina is a princess too. She watches over and protects the cosmos.” “How ever does she balance that with working in Hawaii??” “Her star children, the Lumas, report to her when there’s an emergency. Otherwise, they constantly travel the universe, exploring new places and conducting maritime patrols. It’s actually a beautiful system, since the realms of the Mushroom World have been able to enjoy a very long period of peace since the last catastrophic, or rather, cataclysmic event. I’d love to tell you more, but it’s a face-to-face conversation.” “Oh, is Rosalina coming?” “I think so. She expressed a lot of interest, since she can meet Mario and Luigi, if it allows.” “Well, I’d love to meet them too!” “I’ll pass the message on!” “Splendid!” “So, I guess I’ll ask to make it official, do you want me to come to New York tomorrow?” “Sure.” “I’ll try and fly in tomorrow evening. Dinner sound good when I arrive?” “YES, please!” “Didn’t know you’d be so excited about it.” “Oh come on dear! I haven’t seen you in a while. I’d love to catch up!” “If you say so. I’ll let you know when I leave tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you.” “Darling, you’ve just made my week!” “Glad I could be of help. I’ll see you soon!” “Don’t waffle! I want you here as soon as possible!” “I’ll do my best.” I smile back. “I’ll see you soon then!” She responds by blowing me a kiss. “By the way, who’s ‘Spikey’?” “What?” “Your email address. Who’s Spikey, and are you his wifey?” *Call Disconnected* Cackling internally, I make another call. “Hello?” “Hey, howzit?” “Hey, what’s up?” “Do you have a break in your schedule from about a day or two from now to the end of month?” “I can make space.” “Okay, well, can you make it to New York then?” “I can.” “Have you talked to Mario, Luigi or family?” “Not yet. I’ll try and get in touch with them tonight.” “Okay. I would love to meet up, and so they can meet Rarity.” “Oh, is her boutique opening this weekend?” “Yeah. She would love to see everybody there.” “Well I can definitely make my way over.” “You want me to book your tickets? I can send you the confirmation when I finish and you can change it as you see fit.” “That’s fine.” “You want to take Hawaiian 50?” “I won’t mind. It’s Hawaiian 51 I’ll probably like a little less.” “Not surprising. And could be worse. You could be on Hawaiian 90 and 89, which would add another hour or two, if you were visiting Mario.” “If only, but he doesn’t maintain permanent residence over there anymore.” “Fair enough. I’ll take care of your tickets then let you make changes, you can check Mario and Luigi’s schedules.” “I’ll let you know what they say.” “Cool. Thanks. See you soon then?” “Yes.” “Alright, bye!” “Bye!” With that, I go straight to Hawaiian’s website and book Rosalina first class on a 717 from Līhu’e to Honolulu, then on Hawaiian Flight 50 from Honolulu to New York-JFK. The second-longest flight set served by Hawaiian after Flights 90 and 89, both flights rival Los Angeles-London at 9 to 10 hours, up to and sometimes including 12 hours. Rosalina watched over and protected the cosmos before we met. I’m pretty sure she can survive the return flights, and in first class no less. After the purchase shows up on my statement, I send Rosalina the confirmation, having chosen seats 1E and 3C on each leg, that way she’s the closest to the boarding door. I mention that in the email, and once I verify it sent, I check other unopened emails and respond to one. Hello Max, Pinkie Pie gave me your email. I was hoping my housemate Octavia and I could open a client profile with you. I meant to ask you when you were in Miami, but it completely slipped my mind until now! Here is our contact information: Vinyl Scratch/DJ Pon-3 Cell: (xxx) DUBSTEP Email: WubADubDub@Music2MyEars.net Octavia Melody: Cell: (xxx) CONCERT Email: Octavia.Melody@Music2MyEars.net Please let me know if there’s anything I need to provide. I look forward to working with you! -Vinyl Scratch, DJ Pon3” “Ms. Scratch and Ms. Melody, Your client profiles are officially established! Following are some basic rules and guidelines: -All charters require a minimum of 4 hours notice, compensatory for and including where possible: time zone differences, dispatch time, availability of equipment, unplanned diversions or equipment changes, and other provisions not included in the scope of “immediate response.” -It is the responsibility of the client to notify of any changes to the itinerary and manifest, or any other circumstances that can and may affect such itinerary. It is the responsibility of the Pilot In Command (PIC) to notify clients of any changes in the itinerary not of the client’s request. -If a diversion must be made due to weather, traffic, emergencies, or other reasons outside of either the client’s or PIC’s control, compensation will be handled accordingly. If a diversion is made at the client’s request, it is still at the discretion of the PIC to take the best course of action for the safety and legality of the flight. The client may be responsible for any undue losses resulting from such delays. -Cancellations may be made by the client no less than 24 hours before the scheduled pickup. Failure to notify within that timeframe may result in undue delays and the client can be charged at the PIC’s discretion for costs including but not limited to: airport security, landing, parking, and fuel fees. -Requests for specific or special equipment may be made and are encouraged but cannot always be guaranteed. Any such requests can be adjusted within a reasonable and timely notification - up to 1 hour before outbound departure time, based on the PIC’s local time zone. It is the client’s responsibility to ensure that the request is made before that timeframe in order to guarantee the request can be fulfilled as well as guarantee an on-time departure. The client may be charged for any costs associated with any undue delays. -Any extenuating or outstanding circumstances considered to be “beyond the scope” of the terms outlined above are to be handled on a case-by-case basis at the PIC’s and client’s discretion. I’ll boil down the legal jargon for you: -4 hours minimum notice to request a charter. My local time zone is usually Pacific. -If you need to cancel, 24 hours notice, I can charge you depending on the degree of inconvenience if the cancellation occurs less than 24 hours before my departure. -Diversions outside of yours or my control will be handled accordingly. Diversions within your control still have to go through me. I still make the ultimate decision as to what we do, even if the changes in itinerary are urgent (authority of the pilot in command (PIC) as per 14 CFR 91.3). -Special equipment can entail things like if you need to rent a car or request a different type of airplane than what I originally assign. Text is the best way to reach me, and is my preferred method of communication, so I ask that all requests go that way. Contact information is included. (xxx) MOR2LUV - Normal Business Hours, Monday-Thursday (xxx) MIXALOT - After Hours Monday-Thursday (xxx) A321NEO - Friday-Sunday Any questions, comments, or concerns, please let me know! I look forward to working with both of you! Formally, Split Scimitar “Max” ATP - AMEL Commercial/Instrument - ASEL Complex, Tailwheel, High Performance, High Altitude Aerobatics - Advanced Complete list of type ratings available upon request. After adding both of their numbers and emails to my contact list, I text Rarity and ask if she needs any special equipment, “Do you need me to bring a car?” “Oh, that’s alright dear,” She responds quickly, “we’ll just use mine.” “Alrighty. Not even for the Euro trip?” “You want to bring one?” “I have a car stored at my place in London, so yes and no.” “Well, can we use one of mine?” “I don’t see a problem with it.” “Then we’ll use it!” “Yay. I’ll sort details out when I arrive. Cya!” After a quick meal for the day, I take my blood pressure before hitting the sack. Next morning, my alarm goes off mere seconds after I wake up. Unfortunately, the reason I’m up early is because I’m sweating, so after I snooze it, I force myself out of bed and open my curtains. Upon checking the METAR, I quickly become unsurprised. METAR KVCV 291200Z 00000KT 10SM CLR 32/00 A3018 RMK AO2 SLP220 T03201011 Right next to my METAR is my thermostat, which thanks to a mistake on my part was not switched on for the night. Oh well. Electing to run it at a higher target temp, I switch it on and shut off the snoozed alarm so I can take a shower. When I head out to the ramp, I almost regret taking a shower but still begin my preflight. Lights check, visual walkaround. No anomalies to report. Fuel looks good to New York with 2 1/2 hours reserve. Due to high-profile events taking place in the Hamptons this weekend, my usual New York airport cannot accommodate me. I planned to Westchester (HPN) anyway, since Rarity lives right by the airport. KVCV HELDE J6 HEC MARUE Q78 TOADD NAVJO Q90 WELKY JAVAS ALBRT BURKK BDF CADIZ WHETT TAADD DJB WUNDR LVZ SAX KHPN Departs 7:05. Arrives 15:23. Equipment: Airbus A319. As I complete the preflight and begin the pushback process, I hum a cheerful little ditty/chantey by ad libbing my sentiment from this morning. 🎶“Morning in Victorville’s sunny, Morning in Victorville‘s hot, And I know that this might sound funny, A big metropolis, it is not.”🎶 “Joshua Departure, Airbus N524VA, IFR to Westchester.” “Airbus 524VA, cleared to Westchester airport via as filed, on departure fly heading 010, climb and maintain 8,000. Departure this frequency, squawk 5252.” “Cleared to Westchester as filed, 010, climb and maintain 8,000, 124.55, squawk 5252, Airbus 524VA.” “N524VA, readback correct. Clearance void 30 minutes from now.” “Void in a half hour, talk to you soon, 524VA.” Set flaps 2 for takeoff. Nosewheel steering/ABS on. Beacon, nav, taxi lights on. Trim set for takeoff. “Victorville Airport information Romeo. 1401Z. Wind calm, visibility 10. Sky clear below 12,000. Temperature 34, dewpoint minus 1, altimeter 30.18. All runways restricted access, prior permission required. Advise on initial contact, you have information Romeo.” Yay, I can take off runway 35. 🎶“Lots of traffic, en route to Las Vegas. There’s an accident in Cajon Pass.”🎶 Landing, strobe, pulse lights on. Runway clear. Autopilot armed. Lined up, centerline good. 🎶“But Victorville is so gentle and still. You stop here just for petrol, or for Cracker Barrel.”🎶 Power set, airspeed alive, gauges in the green. 🎶“Morning in Victorville’s sunny,”🎶 80 knots. 🎶“Morning in Victorville‘s hot,”🎶 V1 🎶“And I know that this might sound funny,”🎶 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear… 🎶“But one thing is for sure, it is…”🎶 *BANG* *WHOOP! WHOOP!* *ENGINE FIRE!* *MASTER WARNING!* “Engine fire!” *WHOOP! WHOOP!* “Engine fire!” “Look at this, look at this! Equipment! I need equipment, we blew an engine.” Suddenly, the plane begins to roll. “Oh, shit!” I exclaim tightening my diaphragm as I stand on the rudder to assist the aileron and keep the plane upright. “Engine 2 fire suppression system ready. Engine fire shutdown checklist: -Autothrottle: disengage. -Operative engine: full forward. -Inoperative engine: throttle idle, start/ignition switches off, fuel/power switch, cutoff. -Fire suppression system: engage! Fire extinguished. Engine fire shutdown checklist complete. “Joshua Departure, N524VA, mayday, mayday, engine fire. Returning to Victorville, cancel IFR.” “N524VA, Joshua departure. Do you need emergency assistance?” “524VA, negative. All under control.“ “N524VA, Roger. Victorville your discretion. Change to advisory frequency approved.” “524VA, if able, can you change the aircraft but keep the same flight plan?” “N524VA, understand equipment change, same flight plan?” “Affirm, 524VA.” “Airbus 524VA, say new callsign.” “524VA, standby.” After a simple conversation about range and other things, I make the decision. “Joshua departure, Airbus N524VA, new aircraft will be ‘N924VA.’” “November Fife Two Four Victor Alpha, understand new aircraft ‘November Niner Two Four Victor Alpha.’” “Affirm.” “Roger. Say type aircraft for the new flight plan.” “N924VA is an Airbus A321neo.” “N524VA, Roger. Advise when ready to copy.” “Wilco.” “Okay!” I exclaim to myself as I breathe another sigh of relief. “Let’s get this thing on the ground, inspect the trouble engine, call Torque Wrench, and get going to New York. Hopefully it isn’t too bad. Of all the outlandish possibilities in the universe, why are all of the wretched things happening to me?!” I play the landing by feel on the brakes and recall the single engine taxi procedure used by Hawaiian and United, especially in San Francisco, to get back to the gate. Once parked, I tell myself, “Alright, shut down. Let’s plug her in, hook up the tug, and inspect the engine.” As I inspect the engine, wary of sticking my head in the chamber to check for internal trouble, my heart starts to race as I whisper to myself, “I’m not gonna have a meltdown. No one’s gonna see you having a meltdown.” Then, after my pent up anger boils over, I take a deep breath and then scream into the trouble engine, “LET’S NOT HAVE A MELTDOWN!” Steam vented, I quickly get N924VA up and running, reminding myself to call Torque Wrench for the engine fix, but first on the list is Rarity. “Hello, darling!” “Hey Rarity. I’m gonna be a little late to New York.” “You will still make it to the opening, right??” “I’m trying my best. I just had an engine fire right after takeoff.” “Oh my goodness! Darling, are you okay???” “I’m fine, and everything is under control, but… Ugh, this is a nightmare, Rarity.” “Darling, don’t fret! I know you’ll still be able to make it. I can’t wait to see you!” “I look forward to seeing you. If my airplanes would let me leave for New York.” “Oh, pfft. It’ll be fine! If I know you, you’ll make up for lost time.” “I hope you’re right. I’ll talk to you soon.” “Bye darling!” She says blowing a kiss and hanging up. Now for Torque Wrench. “Hello?” She answers cheerily. “Hey Torque, how’re you doin’?” “Not so bad. Yourself?” “Well, I could be better. I just had a compressor stall start an engine fire on one of my ships. Can you do a full check and repair on it?” “Is it urgent?” “No. I don’t need it repaired immediately. I just want to let you know that I need it done. No rush at all.” “Well, you’re my only work, so at least it gives me something to do.” “True, but you are on a salary plus commission. I pay you a flat rate plus labor costs at the price of being readily available.” “That’s part of why I wanted to work for ‘ya, don’t cha know?” “And I’m very glad I did. You’ve saved me so much. I owe Applejack big time for introducing us.” “Thank you. I’ll take a look at it when I can. Which ship is it?” “N524VA. It’s the A319 that’s in Virgin America colors. It’s all hooked up to the tug so you can tow it.” “Okay. Thanks. Glad you’re okay.” “Thank you. Oh, by the way, would you be willing to return to school and get your IA? I’ll cover all costs. And it’ll bump up your salary. You can do all my annuals then without me having to send ships away. Everything can be done on-site without leaving the aircraft’s home base.” “Sure!” “Oh, thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means to me! Let’s talk about it when we meet again. I’m gonna be gone for the next couple weeks or so; I’ll let cha know.” “Definitely!” “Thank you, Torque!” “No problem! We’ll see ya soon!” “Alrighty! Bye!” “G’bye!” After I hang up, I swiftly get going. “Joshua Departure, Airbus N924VA, IFR to Westchester.” “Airbus N924VA, good to hear from you. Cleared to Westchester Airport via as filed, on departure fly heading 010, climb and maintain 8,000. Departure this frequency, squawk 0316.” “Cleared to Westchester as filed, 010, climb and maintain 8,000, 124.55, squawk 0316, Airbus 924VA.” “N924VA, readback correct. Clearance void 30 minutes from now.” “Void in a half hour, talk to you soon, 924VA.” “Victorville airport information Victor, 1605Z. Wind 170 at 5. Visibility 10. Sky clear below 12,000. Temperature 37, dewpoint minus 1. Altimeter 30.20. All runways restricted access. Prior permission required. Advise on initial contact, you have information Victor.” Damn it. Now I have a tailwind. Oh well. It’ll still take off no problem. 80 knots. V1 Rotate. V2 Positive rate, gear up. Turn immediately to heading 010. Flaps up. “Joshua Departure, Airbus 924VA off Victorville, heading 010 passing 4.2 for 8,000.” “Airbus 924VA, Joshua Departure. Radar contact 3 miles north Victorville Airport. Proceed direct HELDE, climb and maintain 8,000. Glad it all worked out.” “Position checks, direct HELDE, climb 8,000, appreciate the support, Airbus 924VA.” En route to our cruising altitude of FL370, I decide to text some people about things. “Hey Applejack, did you get an invitation to Rarity’s grand opening?” “No. I didn’t need one.” “Ok thanks.” Texts to everyone else yield much the same response, except for Rainbow Dash, who doesn’t respond. Ah well, I’ll deal with it later. “Westchester tower, Airbus N924VA, RNAV GPS 16. This is Sparta.” “Airbus N924VA, Westchester tower. Understand at Sparta VOR. Confirm information Whiskey.” “We have Whiskey, 924VA.” “N924VA, roger. Report final approach fix inbound.” “Report final approach fix inbound, 924VA.” “Westchester County airport ATIS information Whiskey, 2345Z. Wind 130 at 12 gusts 18. Visibility 10. Few clouds at 3,200. Broken 4,500. Scattered 12,000. Temperature 22, dewpoint 10, altimeter 29.99. ILS and visual runway 16 in use. Landing and departing runway 16. Notices to airmen: runway 16 touchdown zone lights out of service. ILS Runway 16 CAT II not authorized. Advisory: all VFR aircraft contact clearance delivery prior to taxi. Advise on initial contact, you have information Whiskey.” “Okay then. If the TD zone lights are inop, increase visibility by 1/4 mile which means 3/4 SM or RVR 3000? No, 4000, RVR 4000 or 3/4 SM visibility.” Below 200 knots, set flaps 3. Localizer alive. Turn right to intercept, officially established, lower landing gear. 3 green, down and locked. Below 185, set flaps full. “Tower, Airbus 924VA at final approach fix.” “N924VA, Runway 16, in sight, cleared to land.” “Cleared to land 16, Airbus 924VA.” Glideslope intercepted, I’ll hand fly this approach. Before landing checklist. -Landing gear, down 3 green and locked. -Flaps, set to full. -Nosewheel steering and ABS, on. -Autobrakes, set to Maximum. -Spoilers, armed. Before landing checklist complete. 1000. 500. 400. 300, Minimums! 200, Minimums, Minimums! Environment in sight, normal maneuvers, normal descent to land. 100. 50. 40. 30. 20. 10. Touchdown!! Spoilers up, brakes on, 2 in reverse. Short runway, firm plant, brake hard. 40 knots, disengage reverse thrust. “N924VA, right L, L K M to Million Air. Remain this frequency.” “L K M, Million Air, Airbus 924VA.” -Spoilers, flaps, retract. -Brakes, off. Manual control now. -Landing, pulse, strobe lights, off. -Right L, left K, left M to Million Air. After landing checklist complete. Once parked and shut down, I order fuel and check in to claim my reservation. “Hello?” Rarity answers excitedly. “I’m ready for ya! Pick me up at the address I send you.” “I knew you’d make it in time! We’re all expecting you!” “Yay. See you soon.” “Bye dear!” Texting her the address, I wait for Rarity to show up by washing up. Hands and face along with some mouthwash just in case I am offensive. A few minutes later, a silver Lexus IS rolls in and parks right in front of the entry doors. The driver’s slightly bouncy curls give her away as she pops her boot open. Grabbing my duffel bag, I sling it across my shoulder and head outside, watching Rarity make space in her boot, not that she needs to. “Max, darling!” She exclaims excitedly as we embrace in a hug. “Hi Rarity.” I respond softly, almost coughing from the strong parfum she’s wearing. Now I’m getting more than obvious hints. “We’ll go home and you can drop off your things, then we’ll all have dinner.” “Everyone’s here?” I ask already knowing the answer. “Of course darling!” When we arrive, Rarity shows me where she keeps her keys and leads me in. Showing me to a bedroom unoccupied, I set my things down and take my time prepping my clothes for tomorrow. “Are we gonna drive into the city tomorrow?” I call out from the bedroom. “Of course, especially now that yer’ here!” A familiar voice calls from beyond the bedroom door. “I need a break! Drivin’ here sure is stressful.” “Hi Applejack.” I respond unenthused as she laughs and opens her arms for a hug. “‘Ya ready for dinner? We’re havin’ steak tonight!” She smirks. “Where’s the rest of ya?” I say with a Gaelic inflection. “Oh, hidin’ from ‘ya.” “Why?” “We’ll see at dinner!” The eight of us file out and pile in. Rarity gives me the keys to her Lexus as she takes command of her Rolls Royce Phantom. The two cars valet at The Ritz. Rarity puts her name down as I exchange hugs and hellos with everybody else. No new news to report, but Rainbow and Pinkie titter when they look at me. When we all get seated, we get seated at a long table, where upon me choosing a seat, Rainbow Dash and Rarity sit next to me. At the head of the table is Fluttershy at the local’s insistence because her birthday was 2 weeks ago. Opportunistically, the boutique’s opening serves as the perfect excuse for all her friends to take some time off to celebrate 2 special events. As orders get taken, I contemplate a glass of red with the bone-in ribeye I plan on ordering. Ultimately deciding against it, I settle for a bottle or two of bubbly, split with Rarity, since no one else I know would drink it. Now everybody seems to be in on it, because more and more of the table start staring and tittering, which escalates to giggles before the salads come. “Okay, is there something wrong? Why do you all keep laughing at me?” “Darling, it’s okay. Don’t let that bother you.” “Ok, fine.” Dash says amidst suppression of her own laughter. “We’ve been…” “Stop it!” Rarity barks. “We all agreed that this would stay between us! So help me, I will dig up all the dirt I have on you if you say anything!” “Okay! Geez Rarity!” Dash responds defensively. “I hope that you didn’t spread a rumor about me, did you?” I ask turning to Rarity. “No, darling! It’s fine. I’ll tell you about it later. When we’re not so… public.” The rest of the dinner proceeds without much else on anyone else’s minds other than what’s happening this weekend. Of course, once my own interest is piqued, I finally butt in. “Okay,” I say authoritatively after taking a sip of sparkling water, “what is it you need me to do? I mean, I’ll happily enjoy the festivities as much as the rest of you, but I do want to help.” “You’re our designated driver.” Rarity responds. “I’ll happily help you wherever I’m needed, even if all I know about fashion is color coordination.” I bite my tongue however upon realizing that the uniform I have on has a navy tie paired with black epaulets and pants. To that I gasp. “What’s the matter, dear?” “I’m wearing black pants and epaulets but my tie is navy.” “Oh! Don’t scare me like that! I thought you dirtied your clothes.” “Believe me, we would both be pretty distressed if that was true.” When our food comes, most of us dig in to cuts of cow, with the obvious exceptions being Fluttershy and Sunset, the former enjoying some sole and the latter cutting into… chicken? When the bill comes, I raise my hand to take it but Rarity is quick to pounce. Silly me for sitting close to her. “Max darling, I appreciate your generosity but please let me have this one!” “Please, just let me take care of it. I haven’t had a proper steak dinner in months. This is the least I can do!” “Would you two stop?!” Fluttershy calls from across the table. “You two are fighting like an old married couple.” Twilight adds. “Darling, please just let me cover this.” “Fine. If you insist. Just let me do the maths.” But before I can start the mental calc-ing, Rarity swipes the bill from my hand and places it on the table out of my grasp so she can run the numbers herself. “20?” I ask. No response. Must be giving me the silent treatment. She hands the sleeve to our waitress and sternly waits for it to come back. Now she won’t even look at me. “You know what? Fine.” I think to myself. “She has a lot on her plate right now, so I’ll just give her her space until she calms down.” Not thinking much about the bill after we leave, we return home, where I immediately get ready for bed, citing the events of the journey over, where Rainbow takes immediate interest. “You had a compressor stall??” “Yeah. Blew out just as I brought the gear up.” “What’d you take?” “Equipment-wise?” “Yeah.” “I had a compressor stall with an A319. I switched to an A321neo.” “BAHAHAHAHAHA!!” “No aircraft is safe from compressor stalls. Could happen for any reason.” “Yeah, okay, sure!” “What? You can’t get compressor stalls because you can just dump fuel on the chamber?” “Dude, do you know anything about jets?” “I’m type rated in over 15 different ones, and I have ATP single pilot privileges. I was joking. I’m sure Southwest would love to have you when you leave the Blues.” “Dude!” “What? I know how much you love the 737.”