//------------------------------// // Mourning // Story: The End // by Boltstrike58 //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle Rarity Rainbow Dash Pinkie Pie Fluttershy Applejack Celestia Luna You With a resigned sigh, you reach out and pick up the remote control. With the press of a button, the television shuts off, replacing a wall of darkness with a few names and some cheerful music with an empty square. Your chest heaves as you take it all in. That's it. That's the end. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is over. For the next few minutes, you simply sit there as your brain tries to process this fact. The fact that there won't be any more amazing adventures with the mares you've come to adore. That the magical world built from a simple children's show is over, and it isn't coming back. Oh sure, there'll be reruns, you plan on buying a box set of the entire series as soon as they release one, and there's even supposed to be another movie. Not to mention the massive archive of fanfiction you have saved on your computer. That sounds nice. But by and large, the series is over. You spend the next minute trying to fight it. You resist the impulse to break down and crumble. But your emotions soon break through the dam, and the moisture begins to gather at the edge of your eyes. With a deep inhalation, you start to tremble as the tears begin to fall. You're not a full, sobbing wreck at this point, but you're well past the point where you could've stopped yourself from crying. It's stupid, and you know it's stupid. It's just a show, a cartoon. They come and go, you've known that since you were a little kid. But then your brain decides to remind you of all the happiness a group of magical, talking, neon-colored ponies brought you. How amazed you were at the creativity of the fan base. How you wanted so much to be a part of that special group that you finally sat down and watched the show, realizing it was more than it appeared to be. How you tried your own hand at writing fanfiction for the show, and found you did okay. How the show somewhat filled that hole inside you, as deep as it is. And you continue crying. Because something so wonderful has just finished forever. You feel a small amount of pressure on your back, pressing down onto you. You flinch, remembering that you're alone in the house, but then you figure out just what it is. You close your eyes, squeezing more tears out of them. You know exactly what you'll see (or rather, what you wish you would see) if you turn around, but you have no desire to do so. Instead, you just bury your face in your hands. "Hey, buddy. It'll be okay." Of course Twilight's the first one to talk. She isn't your favorite, but it's only natural. "Just because the show's over doesn't mean we'll disappear." "Indeed, darling. You can always come back and watch us whenever you need us." You feel a gentle poking on the front of your leg as Rarity talks. You look up reluctantly, and see that the six have gathered in front of you. They're all smiling up at you, even as your eyes continue to drip. Rainbow Dash pipes up next. "Yeah! And besides, our awesome fandom isn't dying out. There'll still be plenty of stories to write and read!" Pinkie hugs your leg. You would reach down and stroke her mane if she were really there. "See?" she says. "There are so many reasons to be happy! You'll be fine!" "And you'll never forget the impact we had on your life. The lessons we taught you," says Fluttershy. "Doesn't that matter to you?" Applejack is the last to speak. "You'll always have those memories, sugar cube!" The six of them look up at you with beaming eyes, waiting for you to reply. They expect you to cheer up, but you find yourself not caring. Because nothing matters. "I don't want memories." Twilight looks taken aback. "What?" she asks. "Memories are life's ultimate cruelty. They exist solely to remind you of wonderful things that are gone forever. Moments and experiences that you can never get back, no matter how hard you try. It's like they're taunting you with how happy you were, and how you'll never get that feeling back. I don't want them." You know they're gonna be annoyed with you, the way everyone is when you don't immediately cheer up. What do you care, though? Rainbow Dash gently pokes you. "But we just reminded you, the fandom's not going away now—" she starts to say. You snap, jumping to your feet and shouting at them. "It might as well be! How long is it gonna last?! Conventions are ending, writers will eventually move onto something else, people will stop creating content based on it! It isn't going to last forever! What's the point?!" Now they all stare up at you, afraid. They may just be figments of your imagination, but they still react. They don't know how to respond as you rant and rave at them in fury. "W-well," Rarity stumbles, "you know there's going to be a G5—" "Screw G5! Screw future generations! Who cares?! It won't be the same! It won't be the same characters, the same world, the same anything! It won't have that spark, that magic, that whatever you want to call it that gave you so much life!" You're still crying as you scream, sadness and anger boiling together inside you to form the worst sensation you can recall in your brain. Applejack grits her teeth and speaks next. "Then you gotta move on," she starts. "Find other interests, find something else to—" "You know I can't just do that! I can't find something as vibrant, as wonderful as this show!" You fall backwards onto the couch, burying your face in your hands as you sob. "This show...I know it's pathetic, but it's all I have." "What about your friends?" Fluttershy asks, concerned. "I don't have any friends. You know that. You know I'm too unlikable, too much of a loser..." You stifle another sob as your mind reminds you that you really don't have real friends. If you did, you wouldn't be spending time like this, talking to imaginary horses out of a children's show. "That's not true!" Pinkie exclaims as she jumps up. "Nopony deserves to not have any friends! You must have somebody..." "I don't. All I had...was the ability to lose myself in your world. Your bright, beautiful world that's better than the one we're stuck with. It helped me forget all the times I failed, all the things I never got to do, and how miserable my life is. And now it's gone forever and I don't..." You can't stop yourself anymore. Your crying reaches its peak as you break down weeping. You'd normally be embarrassed to be seen like this, even in front of figments of your imagination, but now you don't care. You hunch over, letting the tears drip onto your legs as you tremble with each breath. "It's not fair...nothing could ever replace the joy you gave me...and I don't know how to live without it..." The six in front of you don't say anything, and for a moment, you wonder if your own mind has given up on you. You wouldn't be surprised, you gave up on yourself long ago. Then a heavier hoof settles onto your back, followed by a second, and you realize who's here. You imagine the trotting sounds as the two come around to the front to see you. "I'm sorry, my friend," says Celestia. "You're right, it really isn't fair. Everything has to come to an end. Shows, stories, even lives. It's one of the facts of the universe we live in. And nobody—and nopony—can change it." "Then what's the point...why do we even bother trying or caring? What does it matter if it's all going to end someday?" You've asked this question so many times, you've lost count. Because you don't understand what the point is if all you're left with in the end are memories and sadness. But nobody can give you an answer that makes you feel better. "There's no real answer to your question," says Luna. "You know that just as well as we do. People have been trying to figure out that answer since they were smart enough to ask questions." You nod, wiping away your tears, as much as you hate it. You don't have the answers, so why would figments of your imagination have any? Your heart feels heavier than ever in your chest as you slump in your seat. Not only does your brain lack the answers you're looking for, but anyone else--anyone real--you could ask is probably asking the same question. You're never going to find out the definitive answer, not as long as you're alive. You cry a little more, the others giving you a little bit of space. You're grateful for that, even if they're not real. "I don't want you to go...Please don't leave me alone." You know this is pathetic, pleading with figments of your imagination, but you can't stop yourself. They may not be real, but they're all you have. Twilight speaks up, looking at you with empathy."You know we won't be going anywhere. But that's not what you mean, is it?" You nod. Celestia asks a question. "Is it really so unbearable to let it go? Would you rather it had never existed in the first place, so you'd be spared this pain?" This is something you've considered before. "Sometimes, yes. Because I'll never stop missing it. The joy you get from something is temporary, but the grief you feel when it's gone is everlasting." "Perhaps you're right," says Luna. "But if you never allowed yourself to love anything, you'd be extremely miserable, wouldn't you?" "Well, probably, but..." You can't think of a response, not even an angry one. You feel too drained to argue with them anymore. Eight hooves place themselves on your shoulders, trying to be comforting to you. You feel your eyes start to drip once again. "You'll figure it out," Twilight promises you. "It won't be easy, but you will." You muster the will to look up, but the eight of them are gone. Left alone with your thoughts once more, you close your eyes and curl up on the couch once again. It's all you can do to let yourself cry again.