When I finally awoke, I witnessed the most beautiful morning to ever grace my apartment. The sun was shining in the sky, no clouds in sight, and uneven think I heard some birds chirping by my window. It was going to be a beautiful day. As softly as I could, I reached over to my glasses to put them on before…
"Morning Butt Nugget!", Brim yelled out blaring two air horns.
The unexpected wake up call from Brim made me fall out of my bed again with a loud scream. This time when I hit the ground, I got a view of Brim in some sergeant uniform with an army helmet.
“What the hell Brim?”, I asked sitting up from the floor.
“You will address your sergeant as ‘Sergeant Brim’ you shit stain! Now say it properly!”, Brim commanded.
“What?!”, I asked frantically.
“That’s it! Drop down to your belly and give me sixty you maggot!”, He said blowing a whistle.
“Wait! Slow the fuck down! What is going on?”, I asked standing up.
“Okay, gonna cross that way of training off the list. That clearly didn’t work.”, he said ripping off the uniform to show his regular clothes underneath.
“That still didn’t answer my question.”, I told him.
“Right, so along with learning more magic to help out with you asking out that chick, I decided to learn other teaching methods because being honest, I never had to teach something like that before. So I gathered a list of teaching methods from various movies and shows to try and guide you through this.”, Brim explained.
“Are you sure if that is a good idea? Movies and TV tend to exaggerate that severely.”, I explained to him.
“Of course it is. It’s on TV so what could go wrong? Anyways, let’s get to work to train you. First things first, put some clothes on because I don’t know where your clothes are at and shaving you down there was hard to do.”, He said.
“Wait what?”, I said before looking down to see that I was completely naked.
“First rule about girls: Pubes are disgusting. Or at least that's what I saw in the porn videos I studied.”, he explained.
“You undressed me and shaved me without me knowing?!”, I said trying to cover myself.
“Oh calm down! Consider that a freebie with me doing it for you. Lord knows how much you would cut yourself if you tried to do it.”, Brim said crossing his arms.
“That is so wrong. How are you so calm about this?”, I asked him trying to grab a pillow to cover up.
“Because it’s nothing compared to what I see in hell. There are demons who fuck anything that walks or breathes. So a simple shave is nothing. Now quit complaining about a homie helping out a homie and get dressed please. We have a long day of training ahead of us. So much so that it could easily be a training montage if we wanted, but the author doesn’t want to leave out details for length.”, Brim said.
“Good Grief!”, I said getting up to go get some clothes.
After coming out of the bathroom with my clothes on, I saw that Brim had changed his clothes from his red varsity jacket and white pants to a black t-shirt and black khaki pants.
“Why’d you all of a sudden changed as well?”, I asked.
“It helps me get into character when I go for a training method. This one I thought would be the most casual so I figured we could start with that. Now, lets get into the first part of your training: Actually asking out this girl. Uh, Sunrise is her name right?”, Brim asked.
“Sunset.”, I corrected him.
“Right. Speaking of which, I was able to study the right magic to try and turn into an exact replication of her.”, Brim said.
“Whoa, that’s kind of cool. How does that work?”, I asked.
“I had to sniff her panties to get an odor.”, He said with a straight face.
“WHAT?!?”, I exclaimed in surprise.
“I’m kidding, I just used the images I got from her in your thoughts. I’m perverted but not that perverted.”, He clarified.
“Oh good grief don’t scare me like that.”, I sighed with relief.
“Don’t lie, you wanted to do that at one point. But that doesn’t matter now. Lets see if this works.”, He said before snapping.
All of a sudden, his body began to shift in shape, as well as his hair to grow into longer curls. His complexion changed from his red skin to yellow, as well as his hair to a deeper shade of red with a few yellow stripes. He even shrunk in size a little to adapt to her height.
“Well, how does it look?”, Brim asked.
It was almost perfect, except for one thing. Well, two big things.
“Um…..she doesn’t have uh…”, I said pointing at his chest.
“Oh damn! Still a little rusty from this spell. I have a tendency to make the boobs too big. No biggy, I can fix it.”, He said pulling out a safety pin and stabbing his chest.
His breasts began to deflate like a balloon until it reached the more familiar size I knew. I mean, from what I noticed. I didn’t stare at them. Well, not often.
We know you look at her tits. Everyone does.
Everyone?
Yes I said everyone. Now quit stalling. If they wanted to know more about her tits, they can look them up online. Rule 34 does its magic again.
Oookay? Anyways, he was now in a perfect form of Sunset Shimmer. The only difference was that he was still wearing the black shirt and pants.
“So, now I look identical to her?”, he asked.
“Yeah, that’s her.”, I confirmed.
“Good, now what I want you to do is talk to me like I’m her. Thanks to magic, I’ll even talk like her. You say exactly whatever comes to mind when you want to ask her out.”, Brim said snapping his fingers to make a book appear before holding it like Sunset does.
“This is really weird. This feels a bit creepy.”, I said nervously.
“This ain’t creepy, it would be creepy if you were to fuck me while I was her. That’s whenI would question if you were going to be a sex offender. But anyways, lets not dilly dally any longer and get to work. I’ll start it up first. Just speak naturally like I was her. Ahem- Hey Rocky! I wasn’t expecting to see you here. What’s up?”, Brim said with a perfect Sunset voice.
This felt weird. Like really, really weird to be talking to her in my apartment. But I tried my best to speak to him as if I was talking to her out in front of the MBC.
“Uh, hey Sunset. I-I-I was wondering if y-y-you’d be interested in-”, I said before getting smacked in the head with the book in Brim’s hand.
“Ow! What the fuck?!”, I exclaimed aloud.
“Do you know why I just hit you in the head with a book?”, Brim asked with his regular voice.
“What? No.”, I exclaimed.
“Were you rushing, or were you dragging?”, He asked with a face of frustration.
“Rushing or dragging? What are you talking about?”, I asked confused.
“Count to four right now.”, He demanded.
I was anxious to find out what would happen if I questioned him, so I unwillingly did as I was told.
“One two thre-”, I said before getting hit in the head again.
“Rushing or dragging?”, He asked again.
“Rushing?”, I asked nervously.
“Count again.”, He demanded.
“One, two, three , four.”, I said before he hit me one second later.
“Rushing or dragging?”, He asked once more.
“Dragging?”, I guessed.
“So you do know what I am talking about!”, He yelled at me.
“I-I don’t know how this relates to-”, I frantically tried to explain myself.
“Are you going to deliberately sabotage my band and cost us finals, or are you going to take your head out of your ass and count on MY FUCKING TIME?!”, He yelled at me.
“What are you talking about? What band?!?!”, I said on the verge of tears.
“Woah okay, I really got carried away with that role. Maybe learning from movies wasn’t such a good idea. But then again, that was me getting back from you hitting me multiple times so, sorry not sorry?”, He said shrugging.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”, I said in frustration.
“Okay, that was my fault. My bad. I guess what I’m trying to say is to fix your problem is to not stutter so much. I could barely understand what you were asking. Other than that, I think you can pull this off.”, He said ripping off his clothes to his regular attire.
I was so shaken up by the tactic that I couldn’t help but shed one single tear. If that’s what abuse victims feel like then I will support more MeToo movements because of it.
“Oh my dear god. Are you one of those single tear people?”, Brim asked softly.
After about an hour and a half of me near having a breakdown and with Brim trying to comfort me after losing control with him getting too deep in a character, he sat me down to discuss on where to take her out for that date.
“Okay champ. So now that we calmed you down, we can try and find a decent place for you to try and hook up with Sunset.”, Brim said in front of a board with the map of all places in Manehatten.
“Yeah, I agree, but why are you wearing a brown suit with yellow button up shirt with those ridiculous glasses?”, I asked pointing out.
“Because, that is what I call my board clothes. Plus, I really need to start wearing my prescription a bit more because my demon doctor is telling me I might go blind from overwork, screen time, and-”, Brim explained before I interrupted him.
“Place to go for my date?”, I asked trying to get him back on track.
“Right. So, you want to choose a place that is good enough to be filling, but at the same time not too filling to a point where you get sick afterwards/ And of course, you can't just take her to any trashy establishment because you don’t want some redneck trash to come by and interrupt because they want to hoedown with a showdown.”, Brim explained to me.
“Um, we don’t have rednecks in Manehatten.”, I corrected him.
“That’s not the point. The point is you can’t just choose any old place. The place itself will dictate if you seal the deal and have her spend the night with you.”, He said pointing at me.
“But I want to just ‘seal the deal’ not have her spend the night. I just want her to know how I feel about her and that I believe we should be together.”, I explained.
“That right there is the sound of someone who lacks the balls to seal the deal and make sure that the deal stands. You need to think more openly about that kind of stuff.”, He said chastising em.
“Okay fair enough. Why don’t we make it simple and just go for some drinks at the Pixie Tavern?”, I suggested.
"Hmm, strong choice. Strong choice indeed, you could be out on the town, sipping beers. Having fun and then BAM! Some drunk starts to fight you. Knowing your small stature and inability to fight back, you'd probably get your shit stomped and then you end up in the hospital and you end up getting with her because she feels bad for you. Quite possibly the worst way to get with someone. Next suggestion. ", Brim dismissed.
"Okay fine. How about I take her to dinner to the pier Harbor. It's nice and scenic with the ocean and its classy.", I suggested.
"Ah yes. The ocean. Full of beautiful seas, calming shores…...and secret evil mermaids out to slit your throat! They will appear on the boardwalk and slice at you with their fins. Arrrrrgh!", he screamed out with a slashing motion.
"Brim I think-" I tried to say before being interrupted.
"And then, the mermaids will turn to Sunset. Sunset will scream,'Oh Rocky! Please save me from this monster!', to which you will grab the nearest kitchen knife and jam it into the mermaid's eye socket, causing it to scream a deathly screech!", Brim said with a boasting tone.
"Brim.", I said trying to get his attention.
"And then, all the mermaids will gather and form into one giant mermaid that is colossal enough to swallow the whole city. All of Manehatten will be in shock and terror as the president calls off a ballistic missile, to which the colossal mermaid will easily swallow and spit out, demolishing everything in its path like Godzilla, but not really because of copyright laws and other bullshit. All of Manehatten will be decimated and all that will remain is the giant colossal mermaid and her name will be etched in history as-", Brim said before I finally spoke up.
"Brim! That isn't what is going to happen. You are sounding too much like Beet Farms in The Workplace.", I said trying to grab his attention.
"Huh, I really need to stop watching Kekflix. That character is too much for me to handle.", He said ripping off the suit back into his varsity jacket.
"Look, I get that you're trying to get me to make the best choice for Sunset, but your too erratic in what you are teaching me. Now I won't tolerate this any longer. I'm going out this door with a goal. And that goal is to ask out Sunset Shimmer to a date by the pier for dinner. Afterwards I'm gonna make my move and kiss her like I have always wanted and that will be that. There is nothing you can do to stop me or change my mind Brimstone. ", I said in an assertive tone standing up to him.
Brim spoke not a word. He instead smiled softly and began to slowly clap his hands together. His clapping got faster until he began to nod in agreement.
"What?", I asked him.
"Rocky, you earned the shot. Now get out of here tiger and go get that girl. I'm gonna stay here and smoke me a fat one.", he said sitting down on the couch I had just been sitting on.
His words of encouragement were enough to give me that determination to do just that. Without wasting a second, I ran out of my apartment and down my stairs to see if I could catch Sunset before she left for work. I had missed class today, but thankfully it was excused by Professor Wings for me to have that day off.
As quick as a flash, I ran over to the nearest subway to the street near MBC. That train ride had me anxious to get me out to see Sunset. I really didn't want to miss this chance, especially not after the stuff I had to go through with Brim to try and make me man up to gather the courage to make the move. Nothing was gonna get in my way, not even a bum asking for money or trying to give me a bum bump.
The train stopping was the trigger that sent me off on my frenzy to reach MBC in time to meet Sunset. Like a bullet in the chamber, I ran like I had no tomorrow. I managed to avoid getting hit by some random taxi driver that showed his appreciation of him almost hitting me. (Or what you call, giving me the finger) Not even that would stop me. I had a mission, and that mission was almost done.
Walking in the doors, I managed to find out where Sunset was at based on her class in accounting. Thankfully, I had managed to get there in time to see the end of her class from the door. When the students began to stand up, I darted behind a corner as to not seem like I was stalking her or something like that.
Once all of the students had passed, out came that Sunset Shimmer. I don't mean to get all sappy and gross about her, but today in particular was a day where she was very pretty. Her eyes glistened with the light in the school. Her slightly curly hair was enough to hypnotize you. Oh my god, I can still remember that day.
You can stop with the cheesiness any day now. I'm sure the reader can smell it with how bad it is.
Right, sorry reader. But anyways, now was finally my chance. As I approached her, she must have took notice and turned to face me.
"Rocky! I didn't see you this morning. ", she said to me waving.
"Well, sometimes when you get tired you sometimes tend to oversleep a little bit. How are you today?", I asked.
"Great. Got done with a few projects and I'm back on track with the class.", Sunset said.
"Well that is great. Hey so, I was thinking about maybe seeing if you wanted to go to dinner sometime with me at the pier. I figured it would be better to take you up on your offer when college isn't right after. But it's up to you Sunset. ", I said to her.
"Are you ...asking me out on a date?", she asked me.
Maybe that was her way of trying to mess with me, but it instead reminded me of Brim trying to trick me up. Instead, I called it.
"Yeah, I guess you can say that I am.", I answered.
Sunset was silent for a moment before letting out a smile.
"Yeah. I would like that. I'm not free tonight, but tomorrow night I have work off. I can meet you there at around seven if you like.", Sunset suggested.
"Okay. It's a date then. Seven o'clock tomorrow at the pier. I'm gonna be there.", I said before slowly walking away facing her.
"You better show up. It's not even April yet if this is a joke.", she said trying to mess with me.
"Oh trust me it isn't that. I'll be there. I vow it.", I said before accidentally running into a wall.
This made her laugh a little seeing me kind of bump into a wall. I collected myself quickly and moved on from it like nothing had happened. As that one Chili song once said,"Always moving on the higher ground". Something like that. But the lyrics kept me going strong as I walked home. I managed to make it to my dream to ask out Sunset and it became true. All that was left now was to not blow it tomorrow. I hope.