//------------------------------//
// The Tragedy of RainBow - Act I 
// Story: Robot Pony 
// by Dreadnought 
//------------------------------//


The Tragedy of RainBow
by William Neighspeare


ACT I, SCENE I
A desert place.
Thunder and lightning. Enter three Witches 

Apple Bloom
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Sweetie Belle 
When the hurlyburly's done,
When the battle's lost and won.

Scootaloo 
That will be ere the set of sun.

Apple Bloom
Where the place?

Sweetie Belle
Upon the heath.

Scootaloo
There to meet with RainBow.

Apple Bloom 
I come, Graymalkin!

Sweetie Belle 
Paddock calls.

Scootaloo 
Anon.

Enter Anon

Anon
You call for me?

Scootaloo
Nay.  We need you not now.

Exit Anon

ALL 
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Hover through the fog and filthy air.





Thunder. Enter the three Witches 

Scootaloo
A drum, a drum!
Rainbow doth come.

ALL 
The weird sisters, quite the band,
Posters of the sea and land,
Thus do go about, about:
Thrice to thine and thrice to mine
And thrice again, to make up nine.
Peace! the charm's wound up.

Enter two pegasus mares, one blue and one yellow

RainBow
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
Twenty percent cooler this day should be.

Flutter
How far is't call'd to Crystal? What are these
So wither'd and so wild in their attire,
That look not like the inhabitants o' the earth,
And yet are on't? Live you? or are you aught
That pone may question? You seem to understand me,
By each at once her chappy hoofy laying
Upon her skinny lips: you should be fillies,
And yet your beards forbid me to interpret
That you are so.

RainBow 
What the buck did you just say?

Flutter 
Oh, um, I just remarked that these three don't look like they belong here.  

RainBow 
Then just say it.  Geesh.  I can't understand you when you go all soliloquy on me.

Flutter 
Uh, RainBow, it wasn't a soliloquy, it was iambic pentameter.

RainBow 
Soliloquy, iambic pentameter, rhyme and time.  It's all the same thing.  I'm not doing it anymore.

Flutter 
We're sorry for going off track.  You fillies please continue.

Apple Bloom 
All hail, RainBow! hail to thee, thane of Griffon!

Sweetie Belle
All hail, RainBow, hail to thee, thane of Canter!

Scootaloo 
All hail, RainBow, thou shalt princess hereafter!

Flutter 
Witches, why do you start; and seem to fear
Things that do sound so fair? I' the name of truth,
Are ye fantastical -- 

RainBow 
Cut it out Flutter.

Flutter 
Could you please tell me what my future is?

RainBow 
Better.

Apple Bloom 
Hail!

Sweetie Belle 
Hail!

Scootaloo
Hail!

Apple Bloom 
Lesser than RainBow, and greater.

Sweetie Belle
Not so happy, yet much happier.

Scootaloo 
Thou shalt princess, though thou be none:
So all hail, RainBow and Flutter!

Apple Bloom 
Flutter and RainBow, all hail!

RainBow
You're saying I'll be Thane of Griffon and Princess?  Awesome!

Witches vanish

Flutter 
Uh, RainBow, we already have a Princess.

RainBow 
Oh, yeah.  Don't tell Twilight.





The Royal Castle of Canterlot
RainBow 
To kill Twilight or not to kill Twilight, that is the question.

Enter Lady Rarity

Lord Rarity
Are you going to kill Twilight or not?

RainBow 
I don't know.

Lord Rarity
But I want to be a prince!  
Wait!  I'd be a prince?  

RainBow 
Well, yeah.  I'm a mare, and you're my spouse, Lord Rarity.

Lord Rarity
I'm a stallion!  Me thinks I need my fainting couch.

RainBow 
But what about my problem?

Lord Rarity
Oh darling, just do the deed.  It would be - how do you say it? - "real cool."

RainBow 
Okay.