//------------------------------// // Of Statecraft and Koniks // Story: A 14th Century Supplement in Celestia's Court // by Antiquarian //------------------------------// Celestia was ancient, but not so ancient that she was incapable of finding things remarkable. Take now, for instance, she thought as she sipped her dangerously caffeinated tea and did her best to mask her exhaustion behind a regal demeanor. I have contrived to convene a meeting with three of the most irreverent beings I know after a night of precious little sleep and long hours of unpleasant memories, and all three of them were here by pure chance. Indeed, the original roster for the meeting, held in the opulent Rosewood Room that served as a private conference chamber in the palace, had called for more moderated representatives of the Crown Loyalists and Centrists to be present. But Fancy Pants was needed in Baltimare to follow up on a possible lead for Colonel Query’s investigation, and Windforce was delayed on his return from a summit with the Foreign Minister of Maretonia. That had left their cohorts, Edmare Burke and Gerhardt Griff, respectively, to replace them. Both were skilled politicians, it was true, but neither were known for mincing words. “It’s a bloody disgrace is what it is!” spat the greying Gerhardt, his gravelly accent marking him as a native of the western reaches of the Griffish Isles. The green-clad Centrist griffon still dressed like a master shipwright, though he’d left the trade years before to pursue a career in politics. He traced his heritage back to the first griffon migrants to Equestria after the Great Diaspora and was militantly proud of the stock he’d come from. “Dodgy MPs taking in blokes what can’t tell a bog standard rotter from a proper git!” “Aye!” snorted Burke, flicking her fiery red mane over her shoulder. “But ya got ta hoof it to ’em, tha sleeveen dastards are a canny bunch,” admitted the cream-coated young mare in her Braelic lilt, green eyes flashing as she shook her head. “Ya cannae trust ’em ta sell crisps, but they’ll pull their socks up when it comes time ta vote.” Celestia fought the urge to blink owlishly as she unpacked what the two had said. Untrustworthy Members of Parliament deceiving ponies who can’t tell the difference between a vaguely unethical pony and a truly wicked one. But, for all that, they’re a clever bunch who, though they could not be trusted to sell snacks at a stand, will put the work in to swing the votes their direction. Sweet heavens, I’ve gotten out of practice since the Equestrian accent became more uniform. She took another sip of tea. Or perhaps I just need more sleep. Mason Grey sat forward, chuckling. The third individual who hadn’t been slated for the meeting originally, Grey had been invited at the last moment because of his business acumen and many connections across all political fronts, and because he had many holdings in the areas affected by the recent developments. “I’ll give the Populists this much,” smirked the middle-aged stallion, “it takes talent to spit horse hockey so convincingly.” Well, I understood that clearly enough, thought Celestia dryly. The room’s other occupant (and sole voice of calm besides the diarch herself) cleared his throat meaningfully. “Gentlefolk,” he sighed with Trottish stoicism, “if we could kindly maintain some measure of composure and decorum in the princess’ presence, that would be most agreeable.” “Ach! Lighten up, Pitty!” laughed Burke, replying to the heavyset purple stallion. “Grey’s only sayin’ what we’re all thinkin’.” Plum Pit raised a cold eyebrow. “I meant you and dear Gerhardt as well, Miss Burke.” Burke laughed. “Well I never! A Whig like yerself callin’ a Tory ta form on bein’ impolite ta the princess! Conservatism’s my bit, Pitty.” Pit smiled dryly. “Yes, well, in case you hadn’t noticed, recent events have turned the world upside down.” “I know!” lamented Burke. “I miss the days when it was you Labour lads as the Opposition and not these mad Populist larks!” “Don’t feel bad, Burke,” Mason Grey comforted her. “I’m sure this will all blow over soon and you two can get back to being bitter rivals in no time. Won’t that be nice?” Gerhardt scoffed. “How sentimental of you, Grey.” The stallion shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good feud.” His remark earned a chuckle from the others, and the tension eased in the room. Celestia was grateful for that. Burke’s and Gerhardt’s frustration was understandable, and Mason’s irreverence was to be expected, but they still had work to get done. And it wouldn’t do for the Sitting Government to just sit around griping, would it. Still, she mused, I suppose I should be grateful they work so well together. Indeed, the success of the sitting Government had surprised most every citizen in Equestria. The rise of parties like the hidebound Primarchists, the nativist Equestria First Party, and the agitating Populists had driven old foes into unusual alliances. Conservatives like the ‘Tory’ Crown Loyalists and liberals like the ‘Whig’ Labour Party found themselves comrades-in-arms against the rising power of the more extreme parties on the wings. At the last General Election, Fancy Pants had allied the Loyalists with his old Labour Party antagonists from the Opposition, as well as the moderate Centrists, in a bid to keep more dangerous elements from seizing the majority of MP seats needed to establish a Government. He’d succeeded, but few had expected the unusual coalition to last. They had been wrong. The Tri-Party Government, though not without its internal conflicts, had ably governed for nine years, surviving two General Elections and maintaining a bulwark against the more… militant parties that had emerged. It was a vital unity, especially in light of recent events. A rash of strikes up and down the east coast had crippled the port infrastructure and all the jobs that depended on them. Given the tremendous harm a prolonged strike could do, a coordinated response from the Government was needed. Now that the ire has been aired, we can finally get to the business of— The door swung open to admit Princess Luna. Or Luna can barge in and we can start over. That’s also acceptable. As Fritters began his explanation, Twilight was pleased to see that Spike had anticipated her needs and produced fresh parchment for notes. That taken care of, she settled in to listen. “Once upon a time,” he began, “in a magical land a fair ways east of Equestria…” “Wait wait wait,” interrupted Rainbow, earning a glare from Twilight. “I thought you were telling us about Celestia, not giving us a history lesson.” “One that sounds suspiciously Pinkie-ish for the intro,” muttered Applebloom, glancing at the pink mare. “To understand my relationship with Equestria, you need to understand her relationship with my other homeland,” the Konik replied. “And maybe learn some history along the way.” Rainbow moaned at the prospect, but Marble assured her, “Don’t worry. This history is right up your alley.” Twilight clapped her hooves at the word ‘history’ (even though she already knew it) and was about to tell Spike to get more parchment but, again, her Number One Assistant was already on top of it. She gave him a quick hug and settled back in. The interruption resolved, Fritters resumed, “Konikland is a beautiful country, a land of flowers and art and literature, of faith and philosophy, with music as old as Equestria and universities teaching the latest advances in science and magic. We were the first realm beyond Equestria to formalize a union of the Three Tribes, are the proud elder partner of the Konik-Griffuanian Commonwealth, and have rightly been called the Equestria of the Near East. Ours is a land deeply rooted in the Way of Harmony, in personal freedom, in civic-mindedness, and in unity.” His fond tone turned somber. “But my home is also a troubled land. We are ringed in by powerful neighbors. The Hoofburgs in the days before the Austail-Hungriffian Empire, the Terskayans, Germaney, the list goes on. At various points, each has been an ally, and each has been an enemy. With no natural barriers in our land to dissuade invasion, we’ve had to fight for each and every inch of our land for centuries.” He gave a wan smile. “We have a saying in Konikland: ‘Nasze wody zalewają tulipany.’ ‘Our blood waters the tulips.’ Ours is a culture of art and song, yes, but of war and death as well. Resistance to aggression is a way of life for us. Defiance comes as easily as breathing.” Twilight found herself leaning forward eagerly. She wasn’t the only one. There was something enticing about the plainspoken pride with which the Konik spoke. “In all of this, we have had only one consistent ally beyond our Griffuanian brethren: Equestria. As I said, alliances shift like sand in the Near East. The only occasions on which all our neighbors have allied with us has been against common threats, as against the Liger invasion some three decades ago or the Ottomane invasion of Hungriffy. Yet Equestria has always been our friend in dark times. Perhaps it is our kindred values of freedom and equality. Perhaps it is a product of the friendship in ancient times between the Royal Sisters and old General Skrzydlaty Huzar in the Crystal War.” He gave a fond smile. “Perhaps it is Celestia herself.” “You Equestrians revere Celestia, and rightly so, but I would venture that our own reverence for her equals and, in some cases, exceeds your own.” Twilight gasped in horror and recoiled, but Fritters just responded with a dry smile. “Heresy, I know,” he laughed, “but it is true. You see, Celestia never failed to come to our aid, even when it risked the wrath of her ministers. Equestria has always been our friend, but the Equestrian Government would often have preferred to leave us to our own misfortune.” “Why ever would they do that?” asked Rarity, horrified. Fritters shrugged. “Expenditures on foreign wars and diplomacy are seldom popular unless a clear benefit to Equestria can be demonstrated to both the populace and the State. More than once Government MPs, Opposition leaders, and even Prime Ministers attempted to block Celestia’s efforts to come to help us. They attacked her with regulations, laws, massed protest, holding funds hostage, all manner of political warmaking.” His eyes twinkled with amusement. “But the Princess is not so easily outmaneuvered. How many of you besides Twilight and the soldiery know why the REF was formed?” Only Spike’s claw went up, and Twilight winced. What do they teach in schools these days? “Well, I’m not surprised. It’s hardly something that the losers would want publicized, and Celestia’s not one to brag. In essence, Equestrian Law forbids Celestia from unilaterally controlling any part of the military except for the Royal Guard. There was concern when the constitution was first written that the monarch should not wield too much power, lest she become a tyrant.” “A sensible precaution,” remarked Jacques softly. “Agreed,” said Fritters. “Can’t say I blame them, given the Nightmare Moon fiasco.” Twilight and the other Bearers exchanged glances. “I’d call that a good deal more than a ‘fiasco,’” groused Twilight. “Yeah, it was more of a fracas,” said Pinkie. Fritters continued without seeming to notice, “I understand the reasoning, of course. On top of personally seeing the wisdom of it, I’m a Konik – our kings and queens are elected, and we’re no strangers to placing constraints on Royals. But the lack of absolute executive control severely limited her ability to act in military fashion without the Government’s support. Well, a few centuries back, we were facing the real possibility of annihilation by the combined forces of the Hoofburg Emperor, the Tsar, and the Germane Princes of the time. We needed aid, but the Equestrian Government didn’t want to risk Equestrian soldiers in a foreign war. Celestia, however, considered it a matter of honor to help us defend our freedom. Her Royal Guard, which she can unilaterally deploy, was not large enough, so she saw fit to create a Royal Expeditionary Force. I won’t bore you with the complex legalese and backroom deals she made, but the end result was an elite force of private volunteers drawn from every branch of the military. They would enlist as soldiers of the Konik military, the Equestrian Volunteer Force, and only be reconstituted as an Equestrian military unit after the war concluded – one which fell under the auspices of the Royal Guard and answered to Celestia alone.” He smiled fondly and shook his head in admiration. “She financed the entire unit herself. Darn near went bankrupt doing it, too.” “Good for the princess!” declared Applejack. “Can’t put a price on honor.” “True enough,” said Fritters, “but it wasn’t just a monetary price she paid. Her political opponents were none too happy with her, and in some ways she’s still paying off that political debt centuries later. Her opponents also took to branding the EVF and its successor the REF as Celestia’s personal ‘War Dogs’.” He smacked his peytral with his hoof. “What they mean as an insult we proudly bear as a badge of honor – a vow in blood and steel that Equestria will never leave the innocent without defenders. It is no less than our sacred duty.” “As for me,” he shrugged, “my own intimacy with Celestia is more banal in nature. Equestria’s alliance with Konikland is by no means one-sided. Many of our top scientists come here to share knowledge, our artists and writers teach in universities, and, of course, our soldiers come in droves. Some teach at war colleges, sharing their firsthoof knowledge of battle with your more peaceful land, while others lend their expertise on the battlefield itself. My father was a Hussar and fought alongside the REF at the Siege of Viennhoof. When the High Command came looking for officers to move to Equestria and repay our debt to your country, he eagerly volunteered.” “As such, my family grew up mostly in Canterlot. My brothers and sisters and I all have dual citizenship, and most live and work in Equestria. My father still teaches at the war college at West Pinion. My unicorn brother and his wife run a shop in Manehatten, while my two pegasi brothers are carrying on the family tradition of the Hussars; sometimes they’re in Konikland with the Home Army, but they often wind up attached to the Equestrian Lancers on joint operations. Two of my sisters married Equestrian stallions, one a naval officer and the other a farmer. The third sister, my twin, has a government job in Canterlot. And, me, well,” he gestured to the uniform, “I served as a Drapieżnik for years before a joint anti-slavery task force brought me into the REF.” His eyes twinkled with memory. “I first met Celestia as a young colt when she was reviewing the garrison. My father introduced the family, and when she got to me and asked my name, I blurted out ‘O mój Boże! You’re huge!’” They all had to laugh at that. Even Fluttershy managed a coy titter. Morning Song, who was no more familiar with this story than the rest of them, exclaimed, “You didn’t!” “Oh, but I did,” he smiled. “Kibitz, her steward, almost had a heart attack, to say nothing of my poor mother, but I think I amused the princess with my frankness. We got along famously after that.” He turned to Twilight. “And that is really all there is to it. I probably didn’t see nearly as much of the princess growing up as you did, but we’re close enough that I can treat her with scandalous irreverence.” “That’s really something,” Twilight giggled. “I can’t believe you said that to her face! But I’m glad your family is close to her.” Her thoughts drifted to a certain family member of hers. “You know, my uncle Red Lance fought at Viennhoof alongside the Hussars.” Fritters’ face turned solemn at the name. “I do know that, though I didn’t know he was your uncle. My father served with him.” “He did?!” exclaimed Twilight, sitting forward. “Yes,” said Fritters. “And you should know that Papa always spoke very highly of Colonel Red Lance. He wept bitterly when he heard he’d been killed in action. On behalf of my kin, I offer you condolences for his loss. He was a great pony.” Twilight felt moisture in her eyes, “Thank you, Fritters. That… that means a lot.” “No thanks are necessary,” said Fritters. “You deserve to know his honor. We Koniks understand such things. It should please you to know that my people regard the late Colonel as a Konik in all but blood, and his name is listed alongside the fallen Hussars who fought at Viennhoof.” Tears welled up, and Twilight gratefully accepted a kerchief from Rarity. “Uncle Lance always did say your people were among the finest warriors.” “It’s an honor I strive to live up to. Speaking of which,” with a flare of his magic, he picked up his spear, “let’s work on that charging attack of yours.” With that, the ponies were goaded back to their practicing. Though, in truth, it took little goading. After the example that had been set, it would have been harder to walk away than to stay.