//------------------------------// // Anime jokes. Ponies 265 & 266: Spur & Biscuit // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// The Appleoosa county fair had it all; stands with food, various rides & attractions, rigged games, it was all here. And in the middle of it all, Deadpool skipped around happily with cotton candy in one hand, and in the other was an Ursa minor plushie he got from beating the rigged games using a supernova laser that he totally didn't steal from Illuminations and helped some fillies get their own plushies. You know, we could've done something that didn't destroy an entire stall. No way! Explosions are awesome!!! You're going full Michael Bay again. EXPLOSIONS!!! "Relax, fellas." Deadpool spoke. "This is supposed to be a one time deal. We haven't been to the fair for so many years! Remember the last time we went?" You kidnapped the mayor's daughter. Yeah, but she was smoking HOT! You literally set her on fire. It still counts. "Hey, she was in league with Hydra, so it was a win-win." "No! We can't let Boofy out!" A brown, lengthy, Cozy Glow-looking pegasus filly spoke spoke. "No way! Bloofy will win first place!" A red, blue maned colt replied, walking into the buckball arena with a mysterious looking box. Deadpool shook a bit as he saw the box. "My 80's senses are tingling!" He spoke. "Either this is gonna be similar to Gremlins, or some popular anime that has achieved popularity through memes." He stopped as he saw the CMC enter, now grown up. "Oh no. This is bad!" How so? Rugrats: All grown up! "WE GOTTA GET THEM BACK TO BEING FOALS AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE HORRORS OF TAX SEASON!!!" Deadpool ran into the stadium. He stopped as he saw the adult CMC as the colt opened the box, and popped a small, purple dog-looking creature. Wade quickly sprinted and tackled the CMC out of the way. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!?" "Deadpool!?" All 3 asked in shock. "Uh, we can explain." Applebloom spoke. "Don't you know what's happening!?" Deadpool asked again. "We... made a wish to a magical flower and became adults?" Sweetie Belle asked. "No! Worse!!!" He pointed to you, the audience. "The readers who saw this episode will make porn around you! You're giving them the chance to make Loli stuff!!!" "Uh... who?" Scootaloo asked. "I thought it was because we made a bad choice as adults." As they said that, the weird pet of the foals began to squeak wildly, looking all nervous, before it's body began to spin rapidly, turning into a tornado with only it's head unmoving. "Also that. Get outta here!" Deadpool got up and got the two foals in his arms, running away. "Deadpool!?" The filly asked "You know those 3!?" "Yeah, I trained them to become ninjas WAY earlier in this fanfic, if anyone remembers." "Wait, they're ninjas!?" The colt asked. "They WERE, but SOMEONE never decided to use that!" Ok, no one like CinemaSins, Wade. But back to the chapter, Deadpool tossed both foals out of the door, and motioned everyone to get out. "Wait! What are you gonna do!?" The filly asked. "Gonna do what I do best." He cocked a gun. "NO!!! Don't hurt Bloofy!!!" "What? No! It's a tranquilizer. Bloofy will be unconscious for an hour or two. Now go! Get out! This will be over in a bit." He slammed the doors and locked the doors behind him, walking to the living tornado. "Alright, Boofy, this will be over in just quickly. Just-" He stopped in his tracks. "... Why do I hear boss music?" The spinning stopped, and towering over Deadpool was Bloofy, still having it's little head, but it's body had changed, becoming an ultra masculine body with huge pecs and fur on the waist area, covering up where its's junk should be. N-Nani!? N-Nani!? Deadpool quickly fired at Bloofy, the darts just bouncing off Bloofy's rock-hard pecs. Bloofy looked at the needles that fell to the floor at it's feet before looking to Deadpool, pointing one of it's huge fingers at Deadpool. "ウェイド・ウィルソン、死よりも悪い運命に直面する準備をしなさい。" "Damn Google Translate!" Deadpool yelled. "Alright, Bloofy, here's the way we can do it. Either you go back to your small, cute self and get into the box, or I'll have to explain to those 2 cute foals on why their pet ran away." He was answered immediately by a backhand that launched him to a nearby wall, crashing into it, making a huge dent that broke his spine. "... Ow..." He got up, his healing factor kicking in, though his body ached all over. Bloofy approached to him, each step shaking the floor. "愚かな死を免れ、私は侮れない力だと表示されないのですか？" "Ok, seriously, why does every anime villain need to monologue? You should know this by now; you beat the hero to a pulse, thinking you're victorious, and then the hero gets up, beaten, but becomes stronger." His leg was grabbed and repeatedly slammed to the floor, the force making his arms pop right out and fly across the place, blood spraying everywhere. "あなたがどれほど弱くて哀れなのか見てください！？私に反対する者は皆滅びて死ぬでしょう！" Bloody threw Deadpool across the stadium, making him roll into the middle before jumping into the sky, breaching into space, and fell down to the earth below, right onto Deadpool's body, turning him into a bloody pulse. "ははは！！！頑張りすぎて失敗しました。あなたとあなたの友人は私には何の意味もありません。私、おとなしい、今は鉄の拳で世界を支配します、そして誰も私を止めることはできません！" Bloofy turned and walked to the door, ready to attack Equestria like every villain has before. But he stopped upon hearing Deadpool gasp for breath, regenerating back to himself, albeit, his costume torn up, revealing more skin than before. "ああ？まだあきらめていませんか？あなたは私の尊敬を持っていますが、それはあなたを救うことはありません。" "私もGoogle翻訳を使用できます。そして、あなたは私の警告を弱めるべきでした、なぜなら私は私の強力なフォームの1つであなたのお尻を蹴るつもりです！" Deadpool lifted his arm into the sky and awaited. Bloofy approached to him, laughing as he cracked his knuckles, ready to beat Deadpool to a bloody pulse again. Everything stopped as something fell from the sky and landed in Deadpool's hands. In his hands was a large axe, surging with Electricity. The sky darkened as storm clouds came in, and lightning struck Deadpool, making Bloofy take a step back and cover his eyes from the blinding light. When it ended, he stared in shock as Deadpool had changed. His body surged with electricity, as he now wore Norse armor, his mask had metalic wings on the sides, and a large, red cape was on his back. "何！？" "Yes. I wield Stormbreaker, folks." Deadpool spoke. "Mjölnir isn't as cool as a huge axe wielded by a Horse headed alien." "これは何も意味しません！私はここで最も強力な存在であり、あなたは-" Deadpool threw the axe at Bloofy's head, decapitating the small, adorable head from the ultra masculine body. Surprisingly, no blood came out as the body fell... in fact, the neck was just an empty hole. Bloofy landed on the floor, unphased, yipping again. Deadpool approached with the box. "Come on, get in the box." Bloofy didn't hesitate, jumping into the box, letting the Merc seal it inside. "And alas! The day is saved! Thanks to me, Deadpool, and my mighty ax, Storm-" He was interupted as he was punched in the face as a horse headed humanoid took the axe away, getting the costume Deadpool had, minus the mask. "That's my ax, jackass." He spoke before swining it and flying into the sky. "... Right... sorry Beta Ray Bill... heh... Beta... he's a work in progress."