The Princess must have realized that Applejack was directly to her right, as Luna seemed suddenly cowed. "Ah," she mused, "I-is it... Our turn?"
"Oh!" Rarity yipped. "And it must be my turn to ask! Gimme gimme gimme." If these cards were so innocent as Fluttershy attested, Rarity was eager to ask the Princess about her favorite snacks or her favorite way to relax. Whether Twilight levitated the cards over to her, or whether Rarity stole them, is forever a controversy. Rarity certainly wished to leave the previous round a faded memory as soon as possible, however.
"Your Majesty!" Rarity styled, then bowed low, half off her pillow. "If you shall permit me to be so bold... Truth or Dare?" She held the bow, awaiting an answer. It would not have been proper to rise until addressed.
None came for about ten seconds.
"Er... Your Majesty?" Rarity repeated, still holding her pose. "M-my back is starting to hurt." She'd always had problems with posture. She was used to a very different sitting position, and was obliged to get up and pace while fretting over design choices and precious stocks.
"Truth..." Luna replied nervously, and buried her face in her forelegs. Rarity pushed herself back into her pillow; she noticed the girls all sharing anxious looks. Twilight quietly floated a paper bag over to herself, tucking it under her in case she might have needed it for one reason or another. But Rarity saw it - she saw everything, usually, sometimes - and she was sure it would prove a needless precaution.
"Excellent! Very well," Rarity approved, and she drew the next card from the Truth deck. Her half-lidded eyes scanned across it, plush lips turned up in a smile.
Over the course of four re-reads, slowly, but inexorably, Rarity's smile dropped and her eyes widened in horror. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she gave thanks to some force or another for having such a lustrously white coat, for then it was not so clear when the color drained from her face. Even this vain thought was soon silenced; she had only the scrolling marquees of the card's contents to counterpoint the dots all over her vision.
"What's wrong, Rarity?" Applejack called, sincerely. Oblivious as she may have been to the social order, she was at least deeply concerned for Rarity's emotional welfare. That was sweet of her. She could be so callous sometimes, but she was really a stone for them all at others.
"I can't ask her this." Rarity droned emotionlessly. There was no panic. There was no drama. These were for uncertainties and fear; fear was of the unknown. But Rarity was 100% convinced of her statement. It was a fact. She could not ask the Princess this question. She couldn't ask any Princess this question. It didn't matter that she knew Luna's answer (YES)... or, well, she thought she did. She wouldn't ask any mare in the room this question, not even Rainbow Dash (NO). There was no doubt in her mind. She remembered what happened when she told Twilight (SUN AND MOON YES) she had birthing hips - which she did, mind you. Not only did Twilight glow a brighter red than she'd ever seen, but Fluttershy (SHE'D BETTER BE) and Pinkie (I'D RATHER NOT KNOW) were mortified and became very self-conscious, sinfully stacked as they were. Rainbow Dash was very hurt, as though she'd been considered inadequate by comparison. No, Rarity (IT'S COMPLICATED) would rather not do that to her friends ever again.
"Yuh-huuuuuuh!" Pinkie called out - a foghorn in the night. She'd apparently utterly forgotten the previous round. "You gotta ♪ read ♫ what's on ♪ the caaard! It's not your fault how weird it might be!"
Then the plump one growled. "It can't be as bad as the last one." Ah, so she hadn't forgotten at all. But the last question wasn't the problem. The last answer was. That was entirely because of Applejack (NO).
"Oh dear, i-is it a bad one?" Fluttershy warbled. "I didn't check every card myself, I, I didn't want to spoil anything..." Rarity knew if Fluttershy had checked these cards she would have taken this one out, no question. She wouldn't ever have mentioned it, either.
Rarity considered distracting everyone and trying to swap for another card. She couldn't do that with magic - Twilight and the Princess would feel it and call her out immediately. She wasn't able to just vote to dismiss the card, because the Princess would need to agree to dismiss it, which meant she would need to see the card.
"Ahem..." The Princess was fidgeting bashfully. "M-Miss Rarity, please, do not keep Us waiting..."
Rarity closed her eyes and held the card to her chest. She imagined rivers running quietly. A nice lake. Luna holding Rarity's head under the water's surface by hoof. Really, it would be an honor to be killed by a Princess in such a personal and intimate way. Luna would surely have the finest undertakers style her mane and return glow to her face. Very well, if she was to die here, she would die among friends. So be it.
"If you insist, Your Majesty," Rarity said. It was completely unlike her to be so serene; the other Element-Bearers stiffened in apprehension, exchanging glances.
Rarity cleared her throat. She slowly breathed in, to steady her heartbeat. She would be remembered as facing her death with the same poise and grace as she faced her life. Or... hopefully much more than that, since she was known to overreact a teensy bit...
"Are you a virgin?" she asked as casually as she could.
"... oh shit..." Rainbow Dash muttered under her breath. Rarity wished she had chosen more poignant last words, but then, her own weren't much better.
The room was stiff, cold, and utterly silent. No one moved.
Luna stared down her nose at Rarity with wide, scandalized eyes, the terrifying visage soothed only by the fact that her posture on the pillow, and the distance, diminished the height difference. She did not move a muscle, not even that cute little wing tremble Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash had when they were shocked into silence - as indeed they were right now.
Ah, a nice final thought, Rarity considered. My last moments shall be spent admiring how beautiful and adorable my precious friends are, as it should be. We won't even have to get old and ugly.
Luna blinked, her eyes darting side to side, slowly developing a deep scowl.
Sweetie Belle might even throw a party when I'm gone, Rarity thought. Equal parts celebration and mourning. Maybe she'll forget all about me once she finds I've left her my business, my home, and my cat.
Luna looked down and started to shake. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy prepped their wings to take off. Twilight clutched at her heart.
Sweetie Belle, you are Rarity now, she thought, closing her eyes. May your beauty and grace outshine my own.
"NOOO!!!" Luna cried, and burst into tears.
Rarity opened her eyes, batting her lashes in confusion. She saw two mares flitter back down from the ceiling like fairies and three more gingerly poke their heads out from underneath their pillows. Twilight was breathing slowly into her bag.
Princess Luna was absolutely bawling, sobbing openly into her pillow. Rarity recognized this immediately. The Ugly Cry, she thought to herself in pity.
Luna looked up, her mascara running horrifically. "I-I thought we had something special! B-but it 'twere a one night stand and he didn't love meeeeeee..." she buried her face in her forelegs and wailed. Twilight began breathing into her bag much more rapidly.
Rarity set her jaw, changing in an instant. In that wail, she first heard herself, but angrily dismissed it. She refused to think of herself now.
She thought of Rainbow Dash - the invincible, unbreakable Hero of Loyalty who chose Rarity to reveal her broken heart to, fearing that Applejack would have hunted down the colt who dumped her and ground him into dust. Rarity wanted to do that too, of course, but Applejack was capable of it.
She thought of Twilight - the humble, second-guessing, sometimes self-loathing bookworm who had confided a crush of hers to Rarity but refused to admit it to her muse, convinced that she wasn't good enough for anyone despite all evidence to the contrary.
She thought of Fluttershy - the sweet soul who had never hurt anyone and had never asked to be so unbelievably blessed, whose only experience with boys was when Gilda of all creatures had protected her from a few colts in flight school who couldn't take no for an answer.
One of the possible reasons that Rarity and Fluttershy had always gotten along so well was because, as Twilight had mentioned to them on a few occasions, their Elements overlapped substantially. And so, like Fluttershy might have if she'd hesitated, Rarity leapt up, rushed to the Princess's side, and hugged her. "Oh my goodness, you poor thing. What vile wretch would play with a girl's heart like that!"
"Who'd dare -- a Princess -- desecration -- fudge," Twilight stammered, struggling to steady her breathing rate.
Rarity cooed and clucked over Luna, holding her and gently stroking her hair. "Does your sister know about this?"
"N-no! Do not tell her!" Luna yelped. "She, she'll just laugh like she laughs at everything else!"
Rarity gasped. "My word! Surely Princess Celestia would never dismiss her own sister's feelings over something so important to her! What heartless mare would do such a thing?" She looked up and wrinkled her nose. "... Does anyone else smell smoke..? Hmm." She shook her head and continued. "If anything, we shouldn't tell your sister because we don't need an angry Princess rampaging around Equestria demanding someone to levy justice unto!"
Luna blinked through the tears. "T-Tia does that too?"
"Eh-heh," Rarity laughed awkwardly, "I... I believe she would be furious to know someone had done this to you! When did this happen?"
Luna looked all around and mumbled something about a lot of moons ago.
"Was it another immortal figure?"
Luna nodded.
Rarity almost felt like throwing up again, but had to clarify a possibility. "... Was it Discord?"
Pinkie fainted again. Fluttershy looked like she was considering it.
But Luna merely shook her head. "N-no, 'twas a different relationship."
"... a different..?"
Luna swallowed. "Discord was a different relationship. Discord dated me to try to make Tia jealous. We did not have sex."
And there she went - Fluttershy was out too.
"I would very much prefer not to name the person I... slept with," Luna asked sheepishly.
"Oh, I'm sure we can all respect that," Rarity soothed, and everyone still conscious quickly followed with nodding. In her mind, Rarity was already plotting out how to uncover this juicy information. "... but did you say Discord was interested in your sister?" she confirmed.
Luna nodded. "It would be best not to mention it to either of them. They rather detest each other now. It... may have been a factor in the turning-him-to-stone business."
A chorus of "ah" resounded.
"Well! Your Majesty," Rarity announced, "I believe I can speak for everyone when I say we absolutely sympathize with you and are deeply touched that you were willing to share something so personal with us! Isn't that right, girls?"
Another series of anxious nods.
"Yuh-huh," Pinkie said, now awake and, having stumbled across the room, poking Fluttershy to rouse her as well.
"Yup," Fluttershy added, rubbing her temples with her wings.
"Then I vote we end the Princess's turn!" Rarity moved, and Luna nodded, smiling bashfully.
"That sounds like a good idea to me!" Twilight called, seizing the card Rarity had read and burning it with a thought, smiling from ear to ear.
Everyone turned with a start at the sound of a tiger-like growl. "I am going to have so many words with Discord he can't even begin to make them all fall out of my dialogue box!" Fluttershy promised.
From experience, each and every pony there knew this was a great many words indeed.
A blonde-haired, grey pegasus landed elegantly in front of her destination, joining a crowd of ponies staring at the spectacle and babbling to one another. Her eyes boggled every which way and her mouth opened in a little "o". She blinked a few times before she remembered to dig around in her mailbags.
"Excoose me," she said, "I has a package to delivers -- excoose me! Yous not listening to me." She sighed. "I bets you peeps don't even notice the house is on fires."
In front of the smoldering wreckage of what may have once been a two-story villa, three uncomfortably familiar fillies stood, with doctors still looking them over. Two scowled down at the ground. One made a scrunchy face with her eyes rolled up at the sky.
The red-haired yellow one spoke first. "Gyat-dingus-dangit Sweetie Belle, you cast that Rarity charm aginn, didn't ya?!"
The ice cream-looking unicorn clicked her front heels together, like she might escape from Oz. "What Rarity charm?" Sweetie Belle asked with a big grimace as Apple Bloom scowled at her blackened horn.
The peanut-butter-jelly pegasus curled her wings up like fists and began to growl nigh-unintelligibly. "Den trine hoffal end oss!" she slurred, then took several deep breaths as her friends, and the surrounding doctors, stared at her in horror.
"It's normal for her," Sweetie told them casually. "Selective apraxia of speech, worsened by stress." They nodded, making 'aah' sounds of recognition.
"Don't try 'n' have a lend of us!" Scootaloo hissed, trying again. "You know what chyem! That one that's supposed to glow when Rarity says something hypocritical, and it gets brighter depending on how hypocritical it is!"
"Oh right, that one," Sweetie said, fake-laughing. "O-okay so maybe I did. Maybe I keep count of every hypocritical thing she ever says. Maybe I cast the charm every time she leaves my sight."
There was a pause.
"This time my horn caught fire," Sweetie continued.
"Ya don't say!" Apple Bloom gasped. "Gosh, I hadn't noticed! Sure hope ya didn't set nothin' else on fire!"
"Ma n pa gonbem adazzer catsnike!" Scoots roared. "My folks're gonna put me on the barbie!"
"Barbie's Mattel, Scoots," Sweetie condemned. "We failed to buy them last time, but we'll get it next time."
"This's why I don't never invite you girls over!" Apple Bloom squeaked, stamping her mad little hooves and making mad little cracks in the earth, "My house?! Wood! Scoots's house?! Formerly wood! At least Rarity's house is fireproof!"
"It is?" Scoots doubted.
"Still standin', ain't it?" Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.
Sweetie Belle blushed with a grimace and clicked her heels a few more times.