//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Rocket to WTF? // Story: The Dark Side // by Lord Xaos //------------------------------// The Dark Side A My Little Pony fanfic by Lord Xaos Chapter 9 Pinkie Pie had just released a twitchy, paranoid Rainbow Dash moment ago, and the first thing Rainbow did was fetch something shiny from her pouch. It caught some rays of sunlight and reflected them straight into Pinkie’s eyes. The spots before Pinkie’s eyes killed her vision. Still, she lowered the hoof she used to cover her eyes, and squinted, blinking furiously to focus on Dash. Dash was flying above Pinkie, pointing whatever she was holding in her hoof right at her. The object was throwing off her depth perception, and that, combined with everything else that was wrong with her (Namely: She had been kicked by Rainbow in multiple areas of her body, including several hits on her legs and at least once in her head, she was winded, and all with blinding spots before her eyes), caused Pinkie to fall to her side. The assailing Dash flinched at this sudden movement, her eyes turning into pinpoints and the pegasus hyperventilating a little bit, and for the one moment when Dashie fell out of Pinkie’s vision, she had somehow made it all the way over to her and was flying over her, menacingly holding the knife. Oh no…one of the conditions was that she wasn’t supposed to move. Did this count? Was Dashie going to kill her now? Pinkie’s mind swam with things to say, but as soon as she thought of one, another emerged and pushed the previous one aside, demanding precedence. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to move! You blinded me and… Please don’t kill me. That already happened once today! Seriously! I think. I’m so confused! *cry* Um…can I spend one of my lifelines to just say that last bit never happened? FOREVER! That last one was short and to the point, and might’ve shocked Dash out of...whatever she was planning to do. Pinkie couldn’t work up the nerve to do any of those things. She was staring up at death itself. She was having flashbacks to earlier this morning when she was killed by Herself. Wait. The knife! Dashie was holding the knife that Pinkie thought was used by the other Pinkie! It was the exact same sleek, curved shape! In hindsight, Pinkie wondered why the other Pinkie was using a blade like that when she had plenty of kitchen knives and skinning knives and scalpels that wouldn’t look as fancy as the knife she had seen. And now Dashie was here, holding the very same design. “You’re the one who cut off my tail.” Pinkie spoke aloud, almost numbly. Pinkie’s vision was clearing, and it was because of this that she could see the look of confusion on Dash’s face. “In the forest. It was you.” “…How could you not know? You looked right at me.” Dash asked. “I couldn’t see you clearly. And…your mane was strange. I thought you were the other Pinkie Pie” Pinkie stared at the knife Dashie was pointing at her. “L-look, I really, really, REALLY need to collect my thoughts to explain the situation here, a-and…and...” Pinkie sobbed once more “YOU PROMISED!” She was angry at Dashie now. “You promised if I let you go, you wouldn’t-“ ”You promised you wouldn’t move…although I guess you were surprised by my knife or something. You always were kind of a klutz. But now that this has happened, is this REALLY going back on my promise? I’m still listening to you.” Dash continued to hover above Pinkie. “I’ll give you time to think, but if I better like what I’m hearing.” Pinkie gulped and peered up at Dash. “It might be hard to hear anyway, Dashie…but just keep in mind that if I’m telling the truth about there being another Pinkie out there, you can’t afford to get the wrong one and end up lowering your guard falsely believing you are safe…You really shouldn’t take her on by yourself in any case, Rainbow!” Rainbow didn’t say anything. She obviously wanted Pinkie to start talking. This was hard. Pinkie had only a little time to recap the madness that had been her life ever since the nightmare, and present it in an easy-to-digest form. -She went to Dashie’s to make sure she was okay. (Depending on which Dashie this was, she might not remember that.) -She suddenly switched places with the other Pinkie, and became a pegasus pony in her world. (That last part had been becoming fuzzier and fuzzier as time went on, and flying sounded like the kind of experience Pinkie would remember for all time.) -She woke up, noticed her shadow was flying around on its own, and chased it into the forest until it just….gave up? Or something? -Then, she met the Evil Pinkie, who told her a confusing story about switching places and scaring her Dashie and plotting to go after the other Dashie. -Then Pinkie got made into an electricity-conducting blank flank, and died. Strangely enough, she got better. Yeah, hers was a hard case to make. And the Judge, Jury, and Executioner were all the same unbalanced, paranoid pegasus mare who was looking skeptical. Fortunately, Pinkie thought she had figured out at least WHICH Dashie she was talking to. (Actually, Pinkie couldn’t be sure there really was any other Ponyville. If the Everfree Forest just created that Sugarcube Corner and the Nightmares within…well, stranger things have happened. Seasons changing on their own, for instance. This Rainbow Dash was likely the same one that had been holding her just before she “switched places” with the other Pinkie. The “other” Rainbow, if she even existed, wouldn’t know her Pinkie Pie was evil….would she? Thus, Pinkie assumed she was dealing with her Rainbow.) Pinkie made an effort to control her voice. Because if she spoke too fast, she’d start sobbing again. And that would lead to her blubbering incoherently. “There is another Pinkie. I met her, and she said she …’switched places’ with me…somehow.” “Switched places?” Dash looked confused. I seriously have no idea what she’s talking about, but then again, I’m not sure Pinkie does either. “She kept talking about a ‘little bird” telling her this and that. I couldn’t begin to figure out how she did that, but…if I suddenly went crazy on you, like it sounds like I did I…I” Pinkie’s voice was trembling. So much for control. Went crazy? Why wouldn’t she know if she “went crazy” on me. Wouldn’t she be ther…oh. Oh. Oh shit. Dash’s eyes, which had been confused, suddenly dawned with realization. Pinkie had a little trouble making it whether it was fear or just shock. “I’m so sorry! It wasn’t really me! And…I-I’m glad you’re alive! I’m so glad you got away from me! I mean her! She’s not Pinkie Pie, she’s *hiccup!* she’s *hiccup!* she’s….MEANIE PIE! Look, I’ll work on the nickname later! *hiccup* It’s just…I really, really, really, really REALLY…*Sob*….reallydon’tknow *hiccup* whatIwoulddoifshe…*HICCUP!*” That last hiccup was so pronounced; the tremor throughout Pinkie’s body actually sent her flopping into the air. Rainbow, who was already shaken enough to loosen her death grip she had on the knife as well being surprised by Pinkie’s sudden movements, raised her hooves to protect her face while she screamed. The knife went flying into the air, right above Dash. Rainbow looked up to follow it, and barrel rolled out of the way. Pinkie took a moment to relieve what was going on-she was so used to her twitchy tail telling her about stuff. Her knees suddenly pinched up and Pinkie rolled to side, curling her body up as small as possible. The pink earth pony closed her eyes, leaving an after image of the knife falling right towards her not unprotected head … Pinkie let out a scream and shut here eyes. CLANK! Pinkie opened her eyes. And immediately felt dizzy. The knife was RIGHT above her eye…but it was caught in between the hooves of Rainbow’s back legs. If it had fallen even half an inch further, it would’ve gone into Pinkie’s eye. As it was, it was kind of throwing Pinkie’s eye out of focus trying to look at it. Rainbow grinned nervously. “eheheheh…” Pinkie and Rainbow stared at each other. Rainbow couldn’t think what to say. Pinkie sniffed a little, but couldn’t help but break out into a broad, goofy grin. Rainbow’s ears flopped behind her head, as if she wasn’t quite sure she hadn’t set off a bomb or something. Pinkie said something inaudible. “Um…what’d you say?” Rainbow asked. For their great vision, Pegasi were not gifted with similarly spectacular hearing. Pinkie cleared her throat and repeated. “You cured my hiccups.” Rainbow gaped at Pinkie. Then frowned. Then she rolled her eyes. Then, while her head was back, she broke into a toothless smile… …and began to laugh. “hahahaha…HAHAHAHAHA!” Pinkie, still grinning, suddenly felt her cheeks inflate once more and she opened her mouth to release a fit of giggling. “Hee Hee hee...Hehehehe!” Pinkie snorted, and that seemed to cause Rainbow to fall to the ground, rolling on the floor. The two ponies…beaten, bruised, and one with lines pressed into her sky-blue neck broke into uncontrollable laughter. This felt good… it felt like an eternity since Pinkie had last had a laugh. She always loved laughing, and making others laugh. For a moment, she nearly forgot about all the bad stuff that had happened today. She didn’t care if her sides were starting to hurt, she never wanted to stop. Best of all, Pinkie dared to hope that she had finally gotten through to Dash on some level. Pinkie was already planning in her head the details of her “We’re friends again!” Party she was going to throw Dashie. She wasn’t really ready to think about Sweets again, but she felt like this event simply had to be celebrated. Not just a normal party...some kind of fantastic, superrific party! Truly, laughter was won…der…ful…wait. Why was Dashie crying? Indeed she was. Somewhere along the way, Rainbow’s giggles had dissolved into sobs. Pinkie was concerned for her friend. “Dashie?” Dash became silent. She got up, but hung her head, hiding the view of her face. Pinkie could however tell that she was smiling. “….You really are Pinkie Pie. You’ve been so serious, I was beginning to wonder.” Dash looked up; wearing the saddest smile Pinkie had ever seen in her life. “And not just that, you’re the Pinkie Pie who’s my friend.” “H-hey…Dashie, are you okay? What’s wrong?” “And that’s the saddest part.” Dashie turned around and seemed to gather her thoughts for a moment. I understand what’s wrong with you now Pinkie…and…well, you’re still terrifying. I don’t even know what’s going to set you off. But…please, please, please PLEASE tell me you haven’t done it yet. “What’s the saddest part?” Pinkie asked. “Pinkie...” “Yes?” Dash turned around and looked at her intensely. “Where’s Sweetie Bell?” “Wha?” “I had a dream about Sweetie Bell last night…and then Rarity told me what happened this morning.” Pinkie just looked more confused than ever. “Pinkie, please tell me. Look, we can get a doctor to stitch your tail back on or even maybe it’ll grow back…maybe the other missing ponies got kidnapped by Diamond Dogs or something…maybe we can get you some help and its not too late….” Rainbow Dash became insistent. Pinkie had no idea what was Dashie was saying. “But right now, I need you to tell me Sweetie Bell is okay.” Pinkie’s eyes flashed with revelation, and she gasped. “Oh no! You mean…Sweetie Belle’s disappeared!?” “Please think, Pinkie! If you can remember anything…anything at all! Please tell me!” Rainbow’s voice became desperate. Pinkie, her mouth gaping…shook her head. “I-I don’t know anything. I haven’t seen Sweetie Belle since….three days ago, I think it was? I…I really don’t know anything! If you’re the one who cut off my tail, I don’t even know where the Evil Pinkie is or where to find her! I don’t even know where that was in the forest that I first met her, or if she’s even still there! I keep telling you she is a different pony from me, Dashie!” “Noooo…..no….” Rainbow backed away, her voice betraying unfathomable despair. “WAIT! We could at least try to look at the Sugarcube Corner in this Ponyville first! I mean, we have to warn Mr. and Mrs. Cake....and our friends…” Rainbow grew, if anything, more disturbed by Pinkie’s words. Her delusions are worse than I thought. This personality believes the Cakes are still alive. This Pinkie…this Pinkie is… “NOOOO!” Rainbow Dash screamed, her hooves placed over head like she reeled from some terrible revelation. Pinkie stepped forward. “Dashie, what’s wrong!?” “You….just…just….STAY THERE! DON’T FOLLOW ME!” Rainbow began to cry. She flew off, unable to take the hurt anymore. “Dashie, wait! SHE CAN CLOUD WALK NOW!” Pinkie called after her. But the sky blue pegasus was already out of earshot. Rainbow Dash flew away, crying her eyes out. The Pinkie she just confronted was the one who kidnapped Sweetie Bell. They WERE the same pony. And…she didn’t know. She had hidden the truth…from herself. The world was so cruel. So very cruel. Watching the rainbow blur fade out of existence, Pinkie Pie considered going after Dash. But, something else caught her attention. Her tail lay on the ground, forgotten. Unlike her mane, the tail remained slightly poofy, but the abuse it had taken was starting to cause the hairs to uncurl and unravel. Pinkie wasn’t sure what to do, but then recalled that brief mention Dash made that the tail might grow back. Pinkie couldn’t see her wound without a mirror, but she decided to look at the bit of pony skin that held the tail together. Pinkie wasn’t sure if it contained any hair follicles…she had to admit her understanding of her own anatomy was more than a little fuzzy. But, she knew from…from the cutie mark incident how thick the outer layer of a Pony’s hide was, and this seemed awfully shallow. It didn’t contain any of the….meat… from before. Maybe she should see a doctor. But…Sweetie Bell was still missing and…she couldn’t shake the feeling that Meanie Pie was still out there. Pinkie was just going to grab the tail and take it with her to Sugarcube Corner. …She DID need to work on that name. Evil Pie? Pinkie Bad? Nasty Pie? Murder Pie? Devil Pie? Death Pie? Pink Snooty, perhaps? Meanwhile, another Rainbow Dash was finding new and exciting ways to be frustrated out of her mind. She wanted to head straight for Sugarcube Corner, on the off chance that Pinkie Pie might be there. She flew in the general direction of the bakery, and from memory flew to where it always stood, where Rainbow found... …a Pharmacy. A pharmacy that was supposed to be on the other end of town from Sugarcube corner, no less! WHAT WAS GOING ON? She had given up trying to communicate with the other ponies, and recalled what Zecora had told her about the Darkest Grove. “The Bane of Darkness is something you must discover on your own. Because the nightmares inside the grove are made from your shadow self, the path to defeating it might guessed beforehand, but never known. However, the ‘shadow self’ is normally not something you can see. The shadow I speak of is a spiritual entity that exists not so much on the floor, but behind your eyes. There is a terrible and great enmity the Shadow has for its counterpart which cannot be put into words, which is why they will use the grove to create the most terrible nightmare they can devise. The Nightmares are made both of your own faults, and your own fears, And even parody your virtues, whatever helps the destruction of good or designed to shred you into tears. Accepting them as part of you might work, if you should. Destroying them in combat might bring salvation, if you could. Very few shadows are kind enough to create such Nightmares that are easily torn apart. A Shadow would never waste such a valuable opportunity to destroy your very heart.” “Wow….I can’t believe I even remembered her rhymes for that one.” Next, Zecora moved on to telling Rainbow the basic tips for survival. And although the Rhyming became really distracting, Rainbow basically got that what she was supposed to find was some sort of Nightmare world that was going to mess with your mind and leave you babbling and empty assuming you hadn’t already died. She had been expecting Demons….Horrors….Zombies. Or maybe just copies of your dead loved ones telling you what a big disappointment you were to them and how your friends secretly hate you and blah, blah, blah. Actually….if she was honest, what she was really worried about was meeting be a giant and terrible adult Dragon. But, come on! She’d definitely notice one if- “RAAAARRRR!” “DRAGON!” Rainbow Dash jumped into the air, and froze up, landing on her back and playing dead. It took her a moment to notice that somepony was giggling mischievously nearby. Pinkie Pie! Oh, there she is! Same old prankster, huh? I’ll admit, she got me good that time. “Hey, Pinkie.” Rainbow smiled, looking up at her friend. Pinkie kept giggling. “Okay, thanks, you can stop that now-" Rainbow was cut off as another pony spoke up. “Pinkie, please! You’ve been giving me heart failure all week! I-I really insist that you stop!” A soft voice rose in anger. “um..that is…if it’s okay with you.” “Aw..but, Fluttershy.” The pink earth pony chuckled, apparently trying not to grin and failing. “It’s all in good fun.” “I don’t find it fun. You jump out of nowhere enough as it is, and now you’re being really…loud every time I see you.” “Yeah…I’m going to have to take a rain check.” “Um, so you’ll st-?” “RAAAARRR!” Pinkie roared suddenly. Fluttershy squeaked and fell backwards, trembling. Pinkie grinned. “What? You said ‘if that was okay with me.’ And I decided that its not. You get it? RAAAAR!” Fluttershy pushed Pinkie aside, and ran away, crying. “I hate you, Pinkie! I h-hate you!” “Aw…that’s not very nice.” Pinkie pouted, still sounding playful. Rainbow looked after Fluttershy as she ran, and then turned to Pinkie Pie as she continued to laugh. She finally found her. She had to get her out of here…right? Take her back to Ponyville. But this IS Ponyville. And this Pinkie… “Pinkie…that was mean.” Rainbow couldn’t believe she did that to Fluttershy of all ponies. Pinkie had been the one to prevent Dash from pranking Fluttershy because the yellow-and-pink pegasus was so sensitive. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?” Pinkie sneered, looking right at Rainbow. Actually, even this sneer seemed to come in the form of a toothless grin. But Pinkie’s eyes were …less than friendly. “Nothing!” Rainbow said at the same time as a voice behind her spoke the same word. Rainbow turned to see a very scared looking unicorn mare she didn’t recognize. She had a yellow coat and a shiny golden mane and tail. She vaguely reminded Rainbow of Spitfire, one of the Wonderbolts. Rainbow took the opportunity as the two ponies stared at each other to wave a hand in front of Pinkie’s face. “Um…Pinkie, if you can see me, say something right now. Even RRAAAAARR!” Rainbow did her best dragon impression. Nopony seemed to notice her. That solves THAT riddle. Pinkie stared at the strange mare a little while longer, and suddenly broke into a smile. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” She hummed a happy little tune and trotted away. The unicorn seemed relieved. On closer inspection, Rainbow Dash noticed that Pinkie was carrying a bag from the Pharmacy she was just at. …Was she heading home? Was there a Sugarcube corner here? Did Rainbow even want or need to go there anymore? Still…Rainbow could think of nothing better to do than follow this Pinkie Pie and learn more about her. Across the darkest grove, there echoed a voice. Pinkie’s voice. “Hook, line and sinker.” Dash’s voice responded. “I’ll say it again. Your plan is stupid. There’s no way we can corrupt my container. The Element of Loyalty cannot be subverted like the element of laughter. Shadowjack actually has some good ideas for the Element of HONESTY, if you can believe that. But Loyalty? Nothing doing. I was trying to do something with Dragons, but she just fought a Manticore and a giant serpent AND was taught the Challenge by that damn Zebra. The fact that she is so dangerous to me now is the ONLY reason I even think to work with you. I still think we should follow MY PLAN.” “Hey! It’s MY nightmare! My rules! You were late to the party. Or maybe…you’re afraid I’ll hurt you too badly? Aw…Don’t worry, Sha-Dashie! I promise I'll be gentle." "......." "AND, you're going to make delicious cupcakes! All we have to do is wait for the other Elements of Harmony to chase after their friends and…” “Yeah, about that. I got word from Shadarity. They’re not coming.” Silence. For a moment. “WHAT? Impossible! How can these ponies be so BORING! Even I’m a little hard broken for Pinkie’s sake that only one of her friends in all Ponyville cared enough to come save her. I can’t believe it! They were all supposed to fly like moths into my flaming web!” “Its not that. It’s the Zebra. Again.” “Arrrgggg! Fine! We’ll just take the two Elements from the ponies we got. Get into position, AND character. NOW.” “Sigh…so, I’m supposed to NOT be suspecting “Pinkie” of taking Sweetie Bell now, and just be some kind of chump? Your script is confusing…” “NOW!” “Fine, fine. …Hey.” “What now?” “Its about that unicorn.” “Unicorn?” “Don’t play dumb. You know the one. The Blondie. She’s not actually from Ponyville. What kind of memory are you using to simulate her?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t keep track of all these dream ponies. I mean, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo got the drop on me today.” “BUT YOU CONTROL THEM!” “I do?” “THIS IS YOUR NIGHTMARE! YOU ARE THE ONLY PONY THAT COULD EVEN ALLOW ANY OF THEM TO BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!” “I am?” “…dude. That’s creepy. I’m just going to get this party started and stop talking to you.” “Okie dokie lokie!” Rainbow had been trailing her pink quarry for a while now, and she was starting to lull into boredom. Not having to stop even for other ponies getting in her way made it easier to just drift into her own thoughts. Which was why she didn’t notice when Pinkie Pie vanished into a crowd of Ponies. “…..” Rainbow blinked. “Oh crap, I lost Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow took to the air, looking around like crazy, but she could find no sign of the Pink-on-Pink mare anywhere. After five minutes of search, Rainbow began to panic. “Oh no, that might’ve actually been the real Pinkie Pie…possibly. Zecora said I was supposed to stick to her like glue when I found her and help her escape! How could I be-” Suddenly, a rainbow blur dashed past the sky blue pegasus. Rainbow blinked. “…over there?” Indeed, another Rainbow Dash had flown past her. Rainbow had a sudden impulse to race her clone, just to see who would win. She was the fastest pegasus in Ponyville. But! Was she the fastest Rainbow Dash? No…she should try and find out where Pinkie went…or how much time had past since she lost Pinkie Pie. ….oh dear. It seems that she was in fact, already racing this other Rainbow Dash. All those responsible thoughts that entered her head were completely ignored. …oh well, I can find Pinkie later. Right now, I got some stress to burn off, and honor to uphold! Rainbow easily caught up with her clone. Ha! I’m not even getting warmed up! Are you sure you’re really Rainbow Dash? There’s no way this can be your best, or even your casual speed! What’s wrong…slow…poke? Oh wow, you don’t look so good. Indeed, the other Rainbow seemed to have bags under her bloodshot eyes, and her movements were more sluggish than usual. She was flying, looking frustrated and just…haggard in general. Like she hadn’t slept properly in days. Rainbow Dash wondered what in the world had been happening to her, and wondered if like the other ponies, she was invisible to her doppelganger or the pegasus was just so tired she didn’t take stock of even her immediate surroundings. She also was wearing the strangest pouch on her chest. Suddenly, the other Rainbow turned and started to descend. With nothing better to do, the invisible Rainbow Dash followed suit. As it turned out, she was led straight to Sugarcube Corner, located roughly where the Pharmacy should be in the Ponyville Rainbow Dash knew, but on the wrong side of the street. Huh. Rainbow remembered that should couldn’t open doors as a “ghost” and flew after the other Dash, trying desperately to get through the door before… SLAM. Crash! “Ow…..” Rainbow moaned. She didn’t make it inside. From inside the shop, she heard Pinkie’s voice “Rainbow! You're finally here! Oh I've been so worried about you! You've been all mopesy-dopesy so I thought I'd ask you to come visit me so I could make you feel extra-super-special and cheer you up! But then you didn't show up when I thought you were going to and I was all sad that you were going to stay cooped up in your house all day but then you came in and now you're here and now we can have some fun!” Pinkie was wearing a white shirt and baker’s hat. This wasn’t her usual attire. The other Rainbow Dash merely looked at her blankly, before shaking her head and stumbling forward. “Whatever, Pinkie. What did you want me here for?” Other me is awfully huffy. I wonder what’s her problem is supposed to have been. Still, this Pinkie seems …well, normal-ish. For Pinkie Pie. Minus the getup. Or at least isn’t presently terrorizing Fluttershy. Maybe THIS is the real Pinkie? Or...my Pinkie Pie, rather. Arg! Why am I the only pony who can’t open doors! Rainbow fidgeted with the know…or tried to. The knob seemed awfully heavy in her hooves, and it was completely immobile. Even her crash a moment ago didn’t seem to make much noise. Rainbow was sure that Twilight would have a field day trying to explain all the physics of this “ghost” business. Maybe my innermost fear is being ignored or something stupid. Ha. Ha. ha. This is the lamest insanity-inducing nightmare realm EVER. Looking back inside, Rainbow saw Pinkie had a tray of freshly baked cupcakes she fetched from the oven, slathered in icing. “I made you cupcakes!” The other Rainbow, who was looking up at Pinkie because she was standing on her hind legs of hold the cupcakes in her fore hooves, started shivering. She began stumbling in retreat …at least Rainbow thought it was retreat, the poor filly moved as if she was drunk, unable to just head for the door. Still, something was wrong. “No...no...nonononononoNONONONO!” the other Rainbow looked around wildly. Pinkie just blinked like a moron. “N-no...no, I don't want 'em. Not gonna l-let you...lemme out of here, LET ME OUT OF HERE!” Okay…other me is crazy. Wait…what is Pinkie Pie doing just standing there? Pinkie merely tilted her head to the side quizzically, setting the tray down and lifting a few of the cakes out and plating them, bouncing over to the shivering Rainbow Dash and offering the plate to the pegasus. The Dash who was inside smacked the cupcakes away, sending the tray flying. “I SAID I DON'T WANT THEM! I know what you're doing, it's not going to work!” Pinkie Pie frowned at the discarded cupcakes, but in typical Pinkie fashion she just shrugged and went about cleaning them out, humming to herself. Pinkie…what are you doing? Other me is having a psychotic breakdown! You can’t be this dense! You just can’t be! “Maybe you don’t like the avocado icing?” “MORON!” the invisible Dash screamed banged her head repeatedly against the door. Actually…avocado icing is okay... why am I even thinking about this now? “That’s okay, I made plenty more so we can make some to your liking. Is that okay? Rainbow? Dash?” The crazy Dash was whimpering like an injured puppy. She could’ve retreated easily, which was what Ghost-Dash could tell she obviously wanted to do, except she had backed herself into a corner and seemed to be hyperventilating. Actually, if truth be told, Rainbow felt bad for the other Dash. She took it back. This Pinkie Pie was just… insensitive. But at the same time, she was scared for Pinkie. She’d never seen a pony act like this before, and Pinkie was being incredibly stupid. She might even have been genuinely ignorant and innocent, she just has a severe handicap reading between the lines…or even reading the lines themselves. The sad thing is, that fits Pinkie to a tee. I still remember what happened in Appleloosa. “I do?” “I am?” Arrrrg. Meanwhile, in another corner of town, a very lost Pinkie Pie suddenly gave a very loud sneeze. “Aw, come on! Don’t tell me I’m getting a cold now! Still, I guess this is yet another sign that I am in fact, still alive and not a ghost.” Pinkie waved a hoof in front of yet another bypasser. “Sigh…please let me wake up in my bed and realize everything was just a dream. I promise I’ll never troll Dashie again…” But seriously, that filly needed to loosen up sometimes. “Get Away…” Crazy Rainbow was fiddling with the pouch strapped to her body. “...just get away, getawaygetaway...” What’s in that pouch? Rainbow yelled once more, trying to get into Pinkie’s dumb, thick, skull. “Pinkie! Give her some space! You’re terrifying her and I think that-” Rainbow let out a gasp that no other pony could hear. Crazy Dash had given up opening her pouch with her panicky hooves. And instead, she had seized a nearby kitchen knife. A very sharp one. Holding it in her hooves, she pointed it at Pinkie, and issued a plea “Just leave me alone...please, Pinkie Pie...just *hic* leave me alone!” Rainbow froze. She wanted to shout, to scream, to call for help, tell Pinkie to get out of there, anything! Even if such things were useless before now. But she couldn’t find her voice. Her muscles hurt to move, but she still was able to start pounding on the door weakly. The door didn’t make much noise. She could hear Crazy Dash give another hiccup over the “din.” Rainbow knew her kicks were impossibly weak, but her entire system seemed to be shutting down. “N-no…not now. You have to act now, Rainbow Dash! NOW!” Rainbow bucked the door with her hind legs. Despite the additional force, nopony noticed her. Rainbow turned to face the window, licking her lips to try and rehydrate her dry throat. Inside, Pinkie-Pie looked at the knife being wielded by her friend for a moment, before giggling and bouncing over towards Crazy Dash. “PINKIE! YOU MORON! GET AWAY FOR HER! G-GET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! SHE’S NOT REALLY BAD, SHE’S JUST VERY DUMB!” Rainbow wasn’t even sure which pony she was yelling at. Pinkie came WAY too close to Crazy Dash and chirped “Oh Dash, you silly filly! You got me good with that one! Never one to turn down an opportunity to prank, hu-” One Rainbow let out an angry scream Another Rainbow let out a horrified one. A squirt of blood came out of the shoulder and stained Pinkie’s shirt as the knife sank in. “Dash…why…” Pinkie whispered when she realized what had happened. “I told you *hic* to stay away...WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST STAY AWAY!?” Crazy Dash seemed almost as horrified as her counterpart. Pinkie was still alive…Ghost-Rainbow began slamming her entire body into the door. “You…you…YOU HURT PINKIE PIE! GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU MONSTER! Wake up! Whatever your problem is, Pinkie hasn’t done anything yet! She just offered you cupcakes! GET AWAY! *hiccup* g-get away, please…” Pinkie didn’t answer. Rainbow was worried she was losing consciousness. Still…maybe Pinkie would faint and her doppelganger would leave, screaming like a maniac or even come to her senses and get Pinkie some help…although, she couldn’t shake the feeling she was being impossibly optimistic, but she had to cling to some hope. Then Rainbow heard something that made her blood run cold. “N-no, she's my f-friend...I c-can't...I...I” “What?” Rainbow just then realized what was going on. “YES! SHE IS YOUR FRIEND! FIGHT IT! DON’T LISTEN TO THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD! THEY ARE VERY BAD VOICES!” Rainbow was yelling herself hoarse. (And anybody who adds “pun not intended” to that paragraph is a terrible person.) “P-please...P-pinkie...run...just run...oh god, PLEASE don't make me do this!” “LISTEN TO HER! Pinkie! You have to get away…if you have any energy left, you need to use the last of your strength to get away from that crazy BI-!” Suddenly, Pinkie did just that. She shoved her hooves up against Crazy Dash, and pushed herself off the mare to roll backwards, shoulder still bleeding. When she stopped rolling, Pinkie just lay there. Both Rainbow Dashes looked at Pinkie. Ghost Dash was feeling some precious relief, but knew they weren’t out of the woods yet. Pinkie needed medical attention. Crazy Dash looked confused. Then, a look of anguish washed over her face. “Oh no. PINKIE! I’M SO SORRWwwwwy…..” She stumbled forward, and landed on her side. An emptied syringe dropped out of her and landed on the floor. As her consciousness left her, Crazy Dash looked up to meet Pinkie’s eyes across the way. Pinkie smiled playfully, her shoulder not seeming to bother her at all. “Now….you take a nap.” The pink baker said matter-of-factly. And indeed, Crazy Dash did. The last words she uttered were “I was…sorry…” Ghost Dash looked on horrified as Pinkie threw off her shirt, revealing a strange amalgam of an armored vest with strange liquid packs covering it. When she removed the Vest, she hauled the other Rainbow deeper into shop. Rainbow didn’t know what to think now. Still, she followed Pinkie’s movements through the mostly curtained windows, and noticed as Pinkie drug Rainbow’s clone down to the basement, a look of pure excitement on her face. “Pinkie?” Was all Rainbow could ask. She circled around the building, and went to a tiny half-window that was placed near the ground she remember seeing around Sugarcube corner before. It was covered with a curtain as well. However… Dash could somehow see through the curtain. The room had decorations Rainbow couldn’t, and didn’t want to, make out. However, she could very clearly see that Pinkie was strapping the other Rainbow to a rack of some kind. She locked the blue pony’s legs in braces, leaving her wings to hang free. Then, she opened the pouch that was on her victim’s chest with way more ease than its owner had, and pulled out a vicious looking polished knife that made Ghost Dash’s stomach turn. So THAT was what she was trying to find. Rainbow took a few minutes to take all this in, and had completely failed to notice when Pinkie had disappeared from her line of sight. And also that the curtain had just vanished. …the hell? Where’d Pinkie gOHMYGOSHSHELOOKEDRIGHTATMERUN!NO,WHATAMITHINKING?FLYAWAY!FLLLLLYYYY! Indeed, Pinkie was staring right at Dash, her face separated by only a few inches of glass! “AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Dash flew away, determined to get a head start away from Pinkie! Darkie Pie giggled. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?” She told her unconscious and restrained captive. And she ran out the door. This was going to be the FUNNEST game of hide and seek EVER. Even if her Pinkie Sense meant she was the undefeated champion and Dashie was the easiest pony to tail ever. The Hunt. Was on.