Truth or Dare

by Tirimsil

Ch. 2 :: The Rules

The Lunar Spire was a work of art in more ways than one. The center room was massive and opulent; as few had ever been in Luna's private quarters, one could not be sure if even the Princess herself slept in finer luxury. Of course, it was decorated to Luna's sensibilities; where the Solar Terrace was bright, lacy, and may have delighted Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle, this place was dark, elegant, and almost sensual, with lavish curtains ranging from black to eggplant to crimson, often trimmed with gold and cut in sharp angles. Twilight seemed to recall that, once Luna had returned to her duties, the papers had "subtly" equated her initial revision to the parlor of a succubus and she had made some hurried adjustments.

It was framed so naturally, so perfectly, that one could easily pretend there was not any such vulgar thing as an extravagant bathroom hidden in one side of the tower. When they arrived, Luna watched Rarity scour the walls looking for it, and smiled at her overwhelmed... whatever that noise was she made when she found the door and poked her head in to look around. The Princess assured them that they were all free to run as much water as they liked, as the squeak of a faucet and Rarity's manic laughter resounded from the shower, muffled by the thickness of the walls. "It is precisely what it is for, after all," she told them as Twilight nervously fished out her notepads and projected the cost to the treasury.

And here, in the prestiged Lunar Spire, where only a handful of ponies had ever been, for the Warden of the Night was not one to openly acknowledge friends...

The girls, sans Rarity, stopped admiring the Princess-sized sit-pillows for a second, so they could be horrified that Fluttershy and Luna were chatting quite comfortably over goldenfern tea.

A beautiful doe, reddish-pink with rosy hair, had come fearfully into the room with a small cart covered in tea packets -- twenty-one, as we might recall from earlier -- and hadn't said a word beyond "Tea, Your Majesty..." Luna had moved the packets to the table, given her a nod, a smile, and a "Go and be well, Riverrose", and she had exhaled in relief and bowed out of the room, somehow taking the cart with her in the process.

"Oh my, I didn't know there were deer in Equestria..." Fluttershy mused. "We've never met one before."

"I haaaave!!" Pinkie called, then shrank with a grimace at Fluttershy's scowl and Luna's even stare. "... N-never mind! Just being Pinkie! Haha..." And she quieted.

"You haven't?" Luna blinked. "That can't be right, I was certain you'd bumped into a few before... Is there not a tribe right in the Everfree Forest?"

Fluttershy stared at her with wide eyes for a moment before replying. "Not that I know of... Maybe they're very... shy?" she offered.

"... but there was that Fern Gully-like incident, Twilight Sparkle cut down that tree, and --" Luna suddenly blinked rapidly and shook her head. "Oh! Oh, forgive Us, wrong universe -- er, forget about that! So, about Fancy Pants..."

"Of course," Fluttershy said, utterly ignoring that the Princess had just momentarily lost her mind. "I can't believe a pony would ask that of you," she sympathized. "That seems very uncharacteristic of someone anywhere near so polite and thoughtful as Mr. Fancy Pants."

"You find him polite?!" Luna squawked. "He has been a thorn in Our side since We returned from the moon. We almost wish to go right back there just to be rid of him."

"Really?" Fluttershy asked with wide, surprised eyes. "He's always been so genial to us... He's particularly kind to Rarity --"

"I shan't be surprised!!" Luna cut her off, but Fluttershy listened patiently. "Rarity is a starlet in Canterlot, you know; her incredible etiquette, despite her humble upbringing, lead the tabloids - and, I fear, Fancy Pants - to exploit her as a trinket! A 'tamed savage', they call her."

Applejack piped up. "A tamed wut?!" Fluttershy gasped and did "cut! cut!" motions to Applejack with her wings.

Luna put a wing to her mouth, knocked off-guard. "I -- I. I." She looked both ways anxiously.

"Oh, Applejack! Princess Luna doesn't think of you as a savage. The tabloids do. The same tabloids who are so unfair to the Princesses and to everyone else," Fluttershy cooed.

Realizing her horrible mistake, Applejack tugged at her hat in a cold sweat and backed down. "Oh! Yeah, them uh, them papers is full of it," she said simply, and shut her mouth as Luna nodded.

Rainbow Dash knocked at the bathroom door. "Rarity, are you about done in there?" She sighed at the sound of rain and singing. "There's no way she can hear us. Hope we get to play before it's time to go to sleep."

"Th-that provides our group with an opportunity," Luna fidgeted, "F-for as We said in Our letter, We... do not know the rules..."

"Did somepony say 'read the rules'?" Twilight chirped, and began to rip the game box apart to get at them.

"We do not understand..." Luna said, tapping her wingtips together like a shy little girl. Twilight's heart stopped for a second, rapidly envisioning fifty of her one hundred and twelve accounted-for disaster scenarios. "On one's turn, one opts either to speak a truth or to perform a dare, yes..?"

Twilight nodded slowly. "Y-yes." She'd never appreciated before how nice nodding felt. She hoped she might be able to continue to nod tomorrow. "On each player's turn, the pony across from her - we're an odd number, so it won't be directly across - will draw either a Truth card or a Dare card, as the player selects. The player must then either answer the question on the Truth card, or fulfill the conditions on the Dare card. There are no take-backs or do-overs once the card has been read unless all players agree to retract the card."

"I understand this much. But... one does not earn points by speaking truths or performing dares?" Luna finished, her head tilted to the side.

"Nope!" Pinkie honked. "This game's just for fun!"

"But doth fun not require the receiving of points?" The Princess asked in a small voice. She looked quite lost. Twilight's throat tightened up.

"Well, sure ya can use points in a game," Applejack consoled her. "But then it gits ta be a competition, as everypony'll want th' most points. That's a, uh, a particular weakness of m'self 'n' Rainbow Dash." She gestured to the pegasus next to her, who nodded solemnly.

"I am a jealous god," Rainbow Dash rumbled in her most serious tone.

"I reckon this game just doesn't want ta turn into me versus Rainbow Dash 'n' me versus Rarity like ev'ry other durn game we play," Applejack chuckled.

"So this game..." Luna pieced together, "... is not a game that... one wins?"

The girls placed their hooves to their mouths and thought about that.

"That's right!" Pinkie Pie eventually volunteered. "It's like a party or a sleepover! Everypony has fun. Nopony wins!"

Luna perked up. "A game with no winner... then, perhaps, it also has no loser," she inferred, leaning forward off of her pillow. "Then none should be slighted by the perception of a poor performance, for there is no metric to grade one."

"That's right!" Pinkie continued. "Absolutely everyone is equally appreciated!"

Luna slammed her forehooves down on the wooden floor, startling everyone. "I would be most delighted to try this game with you at once!!" she barked, then looked away from everyone, blushing. Fluttershy smiled.

"That depends on if the hitherto unknown Princess of Magnificence ever gets out of the freaking shower," Rainbow Dash pouted. "Some of us need to use the other facilities."

Applejack opened her mouth and Dash put a hoof over it. "I am not doing my business while she's in the shower," Dash grunted. Applejack rolled her eyes.

Twilight returned to the rules. "To determine the turn order... " She began rapidly mumbling to herself. The others stared at her, waiting for explanation.

Twilight blinked at the paper with a terse scowl. It listed seven incongruent means of determining turn order, followed by the rough equivalent of "who gives a crap." She was on her own to decide.

Twilight refused to bring up the Princess's age or height, so ordering by that was not acceptable - also, she would either go first or last in either case. If they went alphabetically, Twilight would either be first or last. Whoever went first or last would have a substantially multiplied embarrassment coefficient and that absolutely could not be Luna or herself as Twilight would immediately die in either case.

Then she remembered that, when no one was looking, she had arranged their sit-pillows in a circle by order of standard hue index. Yes! That was perfectly sensible and no one would be confused. Obviously.

Fortunately for everyone else present, as soon as Twilight opened her mouth, Rarity trotted back out, giggling like a filly ten years younger. "I'm so sorry to keep everyone waiting, but you all simply must try this shower first thing in the morning!" She paused and remembered what was going on, wincing with a grimace. "O-of course, the Princess has her own splendid facilities, I'm certain..."

"I am pleased you approve, Miss Rarity," Luna greeted her. "I insist that my guests enjoy equal comfort to my own. We are currently attempting to determine turn order."

"Oh! Well, let Rainbow Dash go first, she's used to that. We can go clockwise from there." And Rarity sat back down upon her sit-pillow, squealing with delight. "These are especially wondrous right after a shower. Oh my~"

Twilight glared at Rarity. She loved her ingenious spell-weaving. She hated her asinine thunder-stealing.

"Wait-a-minute!" Rainbow Dash interjected. "I... I'll be right back." And she disappeared into the bathroom.

Without taking her eyes off the purple-maned thief, Twilight wrote down the seating arrangement and turn order.