//------------------------------// // A Better Way to Be (Wed) ('The Big Mac Question') // Story: Endgame of Chaos // by Azure129 //------------------------------// Discord had decided weddings were fun—not as fun as a proposal could be, apparently, but Big Mac and Sugar Belle’s ceremony certainly had a few memorable moments too. There was decorating and fancy, funny outfits, and of course Discord had been particularly satisfied by the singing apples he’d created (though he’d silenced them once the reception was underway and ponies started dancing and playing music). And now he wanted to linger on the edges of the small gathering, observing. Ponies always threw parties and were happy at them, but this was a different kind of happiness, and Discord found he liked it in a different way. There was a lot of love here along with all the friendship. Maybe that new mix was what had him so intrigued. The chaos master couldn’t observe for too much longer though—here on the outskirts Discord had sensed some familiar sources of magic approaching. And as a personal favor to Big Mac and Sugar Belle he was going to make sure those three particular sources of magic high-tailed it out of here asap. Discord stood in front of a tree so he couldn’t be seen as he heard the creatures approach through the bushes nearby. “See, what did I tell you? Oh, smell all that love in the air!” Chrysalis hissed. “And so many ponies gathered in one place, so much magic…” Tirek chuckled. “Plus tons of great presents and snacks for us to swipe!” Cozy Glow giggled. Discord heard them move forward, then he stepped out from his place behind the tree and came face to face with the three familiar foes. The chaos master’s look was dry, his eyes hazed, his mouth in a rare, straight, serious line. The trio gasped and stepped back, then all of them narrowed their eyes. “Ugh, him again?” Chrysalis spat. “Shouldn’t you only be spying on your pony friends instead of us too, Discord? “Discord.…” Tirek raised his nose in the air. “I should have known you’d be weak enough to be part of such a frivolous affair!” “And wearing a bow tie too.” Cozy Glow shook her head. “It’s hard to imagine you’re the same guy who took over Equestria a thousand years ago like I learned about in school. How the mighty have fallen.” They laughed. Discord snapped his fingers. The trio stopped laughing now that each of them had a bowtie stuffed in their mouths. “Get out.” The three villains blinked and glanced at each other with raised eyebrows then spit out the bowties and looked back to Discord. “Absolutely not!” Chrysalis stamped her hoof. “There is a feast of love out there, and I’m starved!” “And I could use some magical bulking up.” Tirek flexed his muscles. “If we’re going to conquer Equestria soon I want to be at my best. And there are so many ponies out there to take magic from in this remote location.” He smirked. “And I’m just bored of not seeing ponies scatter in panic!” Cozy Glow added with a too-cheerful smile. “And, golly gee, you can’t stop all three of us, Discord. Guys, scatter!” Each of them dashed forward in different directions to get around Discord. They each got a single step before a snapping sound broke the air and all of their legs were secured to the ground with pink taffy. “How dare you detain a queen!” “Oh no, what if it gets in my hair and I have to cut off some of my curls? I can’t be cute and manipulative without my curls!” “Wait, I think I’m strong enough to break free! Queenie, Cozy, each of you grab an arm and I’ll pull forward to get out then free you too! Then we can take him down together!” Cozy Glow nodded with a smirk and grabbed one of Tirek’s arms as Chrysalis did the same. The look on Discord’s face remained serious, though he did raise an eyebrow slightly. They were working together—truly cooperating and trying to help each other…even if it was for an awful goal. If he had more time, maybe he could have talked to them, reasoned, staged a hilarious but serious intervention, or even just played with them more with his chaos to see how they would respond as a group. But the chaos master just couldn’t: Big Mac and Sugar Belle had to come first today. Discord snapped once more just as Tirek got free—he made the taffy disappear and the three ended up falling forward onto a floating cotton candy cloud right in front of him. They managed to sit up. “Are you three through?” Discord’s voice was still level—no humor at all. “Never!” Chrysalis hissed while Tirek raised an eyebrow and rubbed his shoulder and Cozy Glow just shrugged. “Well, learn to be,” Discord continued, “because you’re not going near that wedding.” They all opened their mouths. Discord flew up with a scowl, his voice low and deep. “Quiet!” His eyes flashed red. The three villains closed their mouths, eyes a little wide. Discord landed, his gaze dull and tone casual again. “You three want to attack Equestria? Fine, bring it. I’m ready and so are the girls. But not here, not now. You turn around and leave these ponies alone on this day…or I might lose my temper.” “Please—you’ve grown soft,” Tirek challenged (though maybe with not as much confidence as usual). “Not. About. My. Friends.” Discord’s eyes narrowed again. “I am the master of chaos. You each have one power, but I have all the powers.” He started snapping over and over and over, making random bits of chaos appear, each more deranged and unusual than the last. “I will bury you in my magic. And before you can escape it, I will go to your little not-so-secret hideout, I will get Grogar, I will tell him you have the bell and the book, and I will lead him to you three. And during whatever happens next, I will make saving these little ponies my priority far beyond saving you three.” He stopped snapping—for a ten foot radius around them, everything was a madman’s dream, and Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow were huddled close together on the safety of their cloud. “Now…I am going to snap my fingers one more time to make everything disappear. And when I say ‘leave’, you three will go. Got it?” The trio glanced at each other. Cozy Glow bit her lip. “Okay, I know unstable creatures because I am one a lot of the time, and he is definitely unstable right now.” “Perhaps we should prepare for a surprise attack some other time…” Tirek mumbled. “But I want all the love…” Chrysalis whined until Discord’s eyes flashed red again. “Er, I mean…taking so much here would probably give away our position and big plan. Maybe we should head back before Grogar suspects we’re out on our own doing anything.” Discord snapped. All the chaos disappeared including the cloud. The trio landed on the ground and quickly stood. They started to back up but Discord held up a hand. “Wait a minute, I didn’t say to leave yet.” He snapped—a cupcake with an apple slice on top appeared in each of their hands and hooves. Discord almost smiled. “A cupcake for each of you from the party. It is a wedding, after all—everyone should celebrate even if they weren’t invited. Consider it a parting gift.” Chrysalis wrinkled her nose and opened her mouth to speak. “Trust me, these are all made with a lot of love,” Discord quickly interjected. Chrysalis smelled the cupcake, and her look relaxed a little. “Is this a trick? Are these laced with some kind of friendship curse, perhaps?” Tirek raised an eyebrow. Cozy Glow rolled her eyes. “That is so not how friendship works. We learned that on, like, day one of friendship school. This cupcake is just some goody-goody stunt any sappy creature of friendship would pull to throw off a bad guy.” “If you want to look at it like that, fine,” Discord replied with a sigh. “I just thought you three might like to be included in this special day, to see how it feels.” He turned to glance back at the festivities not far off. “There’s a better way to be, you know.” “To be…what?” The three asked at once. “Just to be.” Discord glanced back at them. “Enjoy your cupcakes on your way home. I won’t be so generous if you show up here again.” As they started to turn away, Discord snapped his fingers and made them disappear in a flash. With a heavy sigh the chaos master moved closer to the party and settled on the ground under a large apple tree by the buffet. Big Mac and Sugar Belle were dancing: Big Mac hadn’t taken his eyes off of her since the end of the ceremony. Discord wondered if being married would mean Big Mac would have less time to hang out with him and Spike for guys night. The idea was disheartening, but maybe Big Mac would also have him and Spike over for dinner to let them get to know to Sugar Belle better. And Discord could introduce her to all sorts of chaos, so maybe this new situation was okay, especially if it meant adding a new friend into his life. Discord had really come to enjoy making new friends these days… And maybe that melodramatic bad guy trio could too… “Discord, there you are!” Discord smiled as Spike approached him from the crowd and sat down next to him on the grass. “We thought you might have gone home now that your apples aren’t singing anymore.” “Perish the thought,” Discord waved him off. “This whole affair is still fun even without my apples. You know, I’ve never been to a wedding before—well, never as an invited guest anyway, though as a party crasher I was legendary.” “Glad this could be your first formal introduction to weddings then.” Spike’s smile warmed. “And thanks for your help today, Discord. What you did was definitely a little different than what Big Mac and I expected. But even if it was chaotic, that day turned out perfect somehow. Better than any of us could have planned, actually.” “Of course it was!” Discord held his head high with a proud smile. “Chaos and perfection aren’t mutually exclusive, you know. In fact, they’re more similar than you realize: just look at me, absolutely flawless.” Discord gestured to himself and chuckled. Then he sighed and slumped. “But I suppose I won’t have another proposal to help out with for a while. Not until yours at least.” “You’d help me with mine one day?” Spike blushed, his smile glowing. “Absolutely!” Discord replied, with maybe a smidge too much giddy enthusiasm. He quickly pulled back and finished with a shrug, “I mean…if you truly needed my help I suppose I couldn’t refuse.” He glanced at Spike to see the little dragon eyeing him with a grin. “What?” “You believe in love, Discord.” Discord bit his lip for only a moment, but then instead of going on one of his usual rants against that fuzzy emotion he merely sighed and replied,“So?” “You finally admit it! Yes!” Spike flew up, claws clasped together, smile beaming. “I knew Big Mac and I would get you to officially come around! Trust me, it’s a lot of fun being a hopeless romantic.” “I am not a hopeless romantic,” Discord held up his hands to Spike, “but I have come to appreciate the chaos of love.” He crossed his arms and held his head high with a smile. “Fair enough.” Spike landed and considered. “Would you ever want to get married like this, Discord?” “I am too much for any one mare to handle, and they all know it.” The chaos master flew up. “I prefer being the wing man, as they say.” He snapped to give himself full scale alicorn wings then snapped them away. Spike chuckled. “Well, we’re happy to have you as wingman and as our friend, Discord.” Discord nodded. “Yes…I am too.” He glanced out at the party, the orchard, all the smiling ponies. “This is nice—all of it. I’m…proud to be here, to be part of this moment.” “Yeah,” Spike sighed dreamily, “I wish this day could keep going, just like this.” Discord took a deep breath and swallowed. Then he made himself smile a little and crack a joke. “Not unless Celestia goes bananas while she’s still on the throne and pulls a Daybreaker on us.” Spike laughed, and eventually Discord laughed too. There was some commotion from the center of the reception—a quick glance over showed Sugar Belle was standing on a platform with her bouquet. Spike’s eyes lit up. “Hey, she’s throwing the bouquet! Come on, Discord—tradition says whoever catches it gets to be the next one married!” Discord floated up. “Again, not really my thing, but I’m always happy to help a friend in need.” Discord snapped Spike onto his shoulders and then snapped them into the center of the crowd where his height made it easy for Spike to snatch up the flowers one Sugar Belle threw them. Everything was good right now. Discord wished nothing had to change either…even though, if change never happened at all, he wouldn’t have been here right now free from anger and stone in favor of friendship and happiness. Change was messy but necessary, and sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. Quite chaotic. Discord hoped that fact would help him cope alright with whatever would come next. Twilight’s coronation was in two weeks—he had to be ready. For now though he enjoyed the day. Any fighting could wait, but this time together was rare and perfect and had even included singing apples. What could have been better? The wedding party continued. In a certain lair, three creatures sat in a circle pouting and scowling and staring at three cupcakes. “It could be a trap,” Tirek grumbled. “Or a stupid prank,” Chrysalis hissed. “It’s just a dumb cupcake,” Cozy Glow sighed. “Trust me, this level of cutesy stuff is right on par with Twilight’s version of friendship. It’s boring.” Yet the three of them didn’t leave or look away from the pretty cupcakes topped with buttercream frosting and an apple slice. “I mean…” Tirek started, “they look good and the food out here is horrible.” “And they were made with love…and there’s not much love out here for me, of course,” Chrysalis licked her fangs. Cozy Glow’s stomach grumbled. “And I am a little hungry. And I do love sweets.” The trio shared a look. “Just a bite…to keep up our strength.” “That idiot Discord wouldn’t have to know…” “And I’m a growing pony and a kid.” They looked at the cupcakes again. So this state was what they had come to—fighting to resist a simple dessert while Discord ate and was offered probably dozens of cupcakes freely out in the open instead of hiding in caves and bushes and shadows. “Grogar never gets us sweets…" Cozy Glow added with a pout. “Grogar never gets us anything.” Chrysalis pouted too. Tirek scoffed. “Grogar—“ “Grogar. What?” They turned, eyes wide, to see Grogar stride into the room with a dark look. Cozy Glow flew forward with her cutest smile. “Uh, he was saying Grogar isn’t around! Otherwise we’d offer you one of these yummy cupcakes we picked up.” She gestured to the cupcakes with a plastered-on smile then elbowed Tirek and Chrysalis who winced but quickly nodded. “Oh, yes, just a little teamwork training by…gathering and sharing dessert,” Tirek explained. “We figured we deserved some sort of treat after everything we’ve done for you so far,” Chrysalis couldn’t help adding with an edge of impatience to her tone. Grogar just eyed them all for a moment. Then he plowed past them, stomping through the cupcakes. “There are better ways to be a team than stuffing your faces, and you know it. Don’t bring this absurdity into my presence or our lair ever again. You are villains—do not be failures.” He turned and stormed away, leaving behind only a pile of cake and frosting mush. Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow just looked down at the cupcake remnants and sighed. “They…they probably tasted too appley anyway,” Tirek tried. “And siphoning love from living beings as opposed to food is more nourishing.” Chrysalis swallowed. Cozy Glow scowled. “Adults are stupid and cupcakes are stupid. And there’s only one way to be—the way we are. And we have the bell and the book.” She flew away. “I’m going to bed.” Chrysalis and Tirek watched her with frowns but then quickly cleared their throats and resumed their scowls. “I should get started on my cocoon for the evening.” “And I need to do a few bench presses before bed.” They went their separate ways as well. Grogar’s private cavern was dark except for the light of the Eye. Grogar stood before the orb, watching. His gaze was hard and piercing. “No more failures. I suspect one too many already exists…” Images outlined in light flickered over the Eye; different monstrous forms etched in light fading in and out. And in the end one form lingered: it bore a very draconequus-like shape until it too faded away. Grogar almost smiled—and then his look went black once more. The light of the Eye went out.