//------------------------------//
// Ch. 3 :: The Voice 
// Story: Truth or Dare 
// by Tirimsil 
//------------------------------//

The girls settled down onto the huge, plush pillows the Princess had graciously provided. Rarity gave a content sigh and an immodest butt-wiggle, and all but fell asleep, snuggling into her roost like a bunny.

Rainbow Dash returned from the restroom. Twilight could not help but notice she seemed rather more glittery than before. She comfortably trotted back to her pillow and fell into it with eyes closed.

Twilight turned her head away and closed her near eye, blinded by the shine radiating from Dash. "... Right, so, if no one else has any business in the washroom, I believe I am the one asking first, and it's Rainbow Dash's turn."

"Aw man!" The pastel pegasus opened her eyes and moved to perk up indignantly, but thanks to the softness of her pillow, toppled half-off with her front hooves on the wood floor. "Remind me again, why am I first?!" She objected, attempting to ignore her slip entirely.

Pinkie Pie, who was bouncing up and down on her pillow like a trampoline, spoke in a bouncy, distorted voice - one word between each impact. "BeCaUsE... SiLlY... YoU'rE... AlWayS... NuMbEr... oNe!" On the next landing, she disappeared up to her neck in the pillow and stopped bouncing immediately. "Urk."

"Cheesy," Dash sighed, "... but I'll let it pass." With a struggle, she rotated herself to recline on her cushion nonchalantly. She raised her forelegs to move them behind her head and swiftly sunk into her pillow, her smug grin changing to a pout.

"Okay!" Twilight chirped brightly. "So: Truth or dare, Dash --" 

"PFFT!" Dash spat, waving a hoof dismissively. "Duh! Dare, of course!" She placed both forelegs back behind her head, now spreading out her wings as though hoping it worked like quicksand, and having more surface would keep her from sinking too much.

Twilight giggled. "I thought so." Her smile vanished as her mind's eye patted along the floor in front of her and found nothing. Her horn, the horn that could evacuate an entire city population by teleporting, gave a pathetic sputtering sound as she stopped feeling around. "Huh? Hey, where're the dare cards?" She looked to the sides and behind, this time with her regular eyes.

Princess Luna tilted her head. "I believe you are laying upon them," she conjectured. "It is common for small things to get lost in these pillows." She looked askance at Rainbow Dash, whose smile seemed a bit forced as her wings trembled to hold her full body above her pillow.

"... Oh." Twilight blushed deeply. Long ago, Fluttershy had insisted on a "Filly Talk" session in a private and undisclosed place. It turned out that every last one of them was terrified of the prospect of ever becoming a mother - they felt they could barely take care of themselves, let alone a family. Rarity, with her critical eye and flair for symbolism, named Twilight as the absolute prime mother material predominantly due to the size of her ass. Rarity was forced to cease speaking when she realized that she would need to embarrass Fluttershy and Pinkie - the latter of whom was just as wide in the back, please and thank you - and offend the petite Rainbow Dash to maintain this pattern of logic.

Besides, Pinkie was already sitting the Cake twins, Fluttershy was the mom of every animal in the local area, and Applejack was all of their moms whenever any of them needed somebody to cry on, so Rarity could shove that right back where she got it from.

Her face itching, Twilight got off her pillow and rummaged around within it, producing a long box of cards. Clearing her throat abashedly, she elegantly settled back onto her pillow - ignoring Dash's scowl at how easy this was for her, given her butt-to-pillow ratio.

Despite her seeming comfort, if it'd been her turn to tell a truth, Twilight would say she was a bit nervous. Like Luna, she'd never played any kind of Truth or Dare before, and had heard it could easily provoke friends to be mean or harmful to each other. She'd read a couple of self-styled "books" - how dare they, at best they were magazines - which purported to have "the best" questions to ask or dares to issue, and had refused to even stock them in her library, not even under Trifles & Tabloids, due to how callous, dangerous, or downright mean some of them were. Put the first thing you find in the trash in your mouth for one minute? Foals played this game. They might swallow whatever that is! ... Heck, Luna might swallow it if she thought the rules said to do so.

Perhaps the others might have noticed her hesitation in drawing the first card... but surely they heard her relief when she read it. "Oh, this is nice," she announced. "I was afraid the dares would be mean in this game."

Fluttershy beamed. "Nuh-uh~" She said, almost proudly. "I asked around first! I chose this game because they specifically told me the cards are... nice." She looked away, lowering her neck. "... The really mean ones are when there are no cards..."

"That's true," Twilight affirmed, nodding. Naturally, one would only need those title-usurping "books" if one did not already have card prompts. "Dash and Pinkie would go way overboard with improvised dares."

Finally having found balance on her pillow, Dash scowled, her wings spreading slightly, her feathers spread like cats' claws. "I would not!" she objected.

"All present pale in comparison to the cruelty of an older sister," Luna announced.

"... Yep, probably." Dash accepted. "So, what's my dare anyway?"

"Oh, sorry," Twilight began. "The card reads --"

But Applejack, as was her habit, cut her off. "Ya feelin' a little nervous, Dashie?" She teased, propping herself up with a grin.

"Oh shut up," Dash dismissed her, waving her off with a wing. "It's your turn next, see who's nervous then, ya jerk."

Applejack rolled her eyes and said no more, looking back towards Twilight and waiting.

"Oh, do I get to read the card now." Twilight sassed, scowling. She shook the card in the air as though it had gained dust in the interim and, holding it just below her eye line so she could look at her friends while reciting, read it aloud. "... Tell a short story for young foals to the group, doing all of the character voices."

As Luna smiled and blinked, Rainbow Dash leapt half-out of her pillow, forehooves on the ground. Pounds of glitter fell off of her. "What?!" She squealed with a blush. "That's stupid! I don't wanna do that! Give me something cooler!"

"Aww, what's th' matter, Dashiekins?" Applejack crooned in a motherly voice. "No good at yarn-tellin'?"

"I... I'm very talented, but I'm absolutely no good at anything involving yarn!" Dash croaked. "Or doing dumb voices..."

"That ain't what I heard," Applejack continued with a smirk, "I heard that them adorable voices o' yers're real extinguished."

"Exquisite, darling," Rarity mumbled, still half-asleep within her cushions. "Or maybe distinguished."

"That's th' one! That first one," Applejack admitted.

"You shut your mouth, AJ!" Dash spat. "Who told you that, anyway?! All specific 'n' shit --"

Twilight's heart stopped again as everyone stiffened and glanced at the Princess, who regarded Dash with a curious tilt to her head. Dash slowly followed their gazes, grimaced, and looked both ways. "Um... and stuff." she corrected herself meekly. "The, a-hrm, the real good story-teller's Twilight! She even does the songs!"

The Princess blinked and smiled a little.

Her heart starting back up, Twilight began to nervously hum Hearth's Warming songs to herself. Her mind began to alternate between possible scenarios wherein Applejack might discover Rainbow Dash's talent for cute character voices, and future punishments for Rainbow Dash's faux pas that were very severe but technically legal. 

"I believe," Luna began, and everyone fell silent immediately, "... that the modest bookshelves in this room should have a dedicated section for foals, should Rainbow Dash not feel comfortable devising her own."

Rainbow Dash paled and made a strange choking sound, unwilling to directly defy the Princess. "I..." she stuttered. "... but why though," she managed.

Luna blinked, slightly taken aback. "We may invite guests of any age to the Lunar Spire, of course..." she explained. "Families, for instance. Foals do not appreciate the same things as adults. Having a few silly toys and trinkets around covers edge cases."

"Got one!!!" Pinkie shrieked from the far wall, waving a book like she was using it help a plane land. Dash's ears drooped as Pinkie skipped over and offered the book to her from her chest out with a beaming smile, like a Hearts & Hooves gift.

"Mr. Kitty's Hungry Time," Dash recited the title in a monotone.

"I love kitties," Rarity mumbled into her pillow. Everyone else rolled their eyes.

"You've gotta read every word in this book," Pinkie Pie chirped.

Rainbow Dash sighed and accepted the book, looking down at the floor red-faced.





Mr. Kitty's Hungry Time
Written by Little Big Words
(C) AC 2005, all rights reserved
Published by


"Okay fine, skip those!!" Pinkie cried impatiently. "C'mon c'mon c'mon, and do the voices!!"

"There haven't been any voices!" Dash protested. "I'm the narrator, so it's my voice! Ugh! Good thing this's so short..." She sighed and turned the page with great reluctance.



Mr. Kitty was hungry. "Meow meow," he said.



"Hey!" Pinkie protested. "Cats never sound that bored."

Fluttershy nodded. "Forgive me for criticizing, Rainbow Dash, but they're much more passionate," she said sincerely.

"Meow meow!" Rainbow Dash repeated, more loudly.

"Little more nasally 'n' that," Applejack offered. "Th' feller Winona's always chasin' off the farm sounds just like Filthy Rich when he drops a bit."

"Try compressing your pharyngeal dorsum against your soft palate," Twilight offered, leading everyone else in the room to stare blankly at her. Twilight blinked back at them, her face reddening. If everypony she knew liked to talk so much, they should learn the names of their mouth-parts, darn it.

Rainbow Dash hid her own red face behind the book, growling. "MeEeOoOWwW MeeEoOoOooWwWww..." she eventually offered in a warble.

Everyone erupted in applause and cheers.

Rarity leapt up with a start, snorting herself awake. "What in the name of Lavan is all this noise?!" she squawked, rubbing at her eyes. "I thought Opal needed to be let out..."

"A bit vulgar, but intelligible!" Fluttershy praised. "We'll need to work on conjugating verbs for politeness. Remember your timberwolf call? This will be much easier!"

"I think I'll pass on learning cattish, Shy. I hope a timberwolf kills Mr. Kitty," Rainbow Dash growled. "Puts his head on a pike."

"He wouldn't be hungry no more," Applejack concluded, smiling ear to ear. "Keep goin'."

Dash grumbled.



But Mr. Kitty's food was on the table.
He hopped and he skipped and he jumped.
But he couldn't get up there.



"What a cruel thing to do to a kitty," Fluttershy bemoaned.

"Oh, you're reading a book -- yes, well, one should never encourage a kitty to traverse upon a table," Rarity preached. "Or there shan't be a thing left upon it once she's left." Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

Rainbow Dash adopted a wasp-like buzz.



"DyYyAaAarRrnNn! IiIi cyaAanNn't geEet uUup thEeEerRre!"



She coughed and scowled. "... he said." she continued in her normal voice. "I'm not surprised, the pudgy bastard."

"I... don't think that last line's in a book for foals." Twilight pouted.

"I concur," Rarity sniffed. "And I've yet to find a table that a kitty can't get onto. They can teleport, like unicorns. You look away and back again and oh, there she is, and there goes another glass..."

"Kitties are very sensitive about their weight," Fluttershy said. "Their ancestors were natural hunters, and they feel very inadequate if they are even a little bit tubby."

Everyone glanced at Pinkie, who was batting a wrapped candy between her forehooves like a cat with a mouse. She was a natural predator only of refrigerators.



Just then, Mr. Kitty's owner, Hairball, came by.



Rainbow Dash blinked. "Hairball is a filly."

"That's a pony's name?!" Twilight confirmed.

"We have heard worse," Luna mused.

"Rainbow Dash and I knew a girl in flight school," Fluttershy offered. "She was an exchange student. Her name was pronounced something like duweer, but it was spelled D-O-G-H-A-I-R... so everyone in school except me called her Dog Hair..." She finished sadly. "It does sound more like an Equestrian name, to be fair..."

"What?" Rainbow Dash cut in. "... That wasn't her name?! No wonder she hated me so much!"

"Unhappily, this filly really is named Hairball," Rarity reminded, "... which is quite simply dreadful, and we should get her misery over with quickly and continue with this book."

"My entire family has stupid names," Pinkie reminded everyone.

Rainbow Dash read over the next line, her face turning a deeper red.



"Hewwo Mr. Kitty!" said Hairball.



This led all of her friends to immediately erupt into uncontrollable giggles.

Rainbow Dash shrunk, beginning to fidget and squirm. Twilight knew the feeling, as her face had just been itching at the start of this round, and felt very guilty for joining in on the laughter. The Princess blinked and looked around at everyone with a smile, though she kept her composure.

"Is... is that... yer Cozy Glow impression?!" Applejack asked between guffaws. "It's a dead ringer!!"

Fluttershy craned her neck to look in the book. "O-oh my, that does look a lot like her..!" she whinnied.

"Mind she does not use the cat to banish all dogs from Equestria," Luna warned with a smile.

Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she opened them again.



"Teehee! Yew can't get up thewe, can yew?"



"She's just as mocking as the real McColt!" Rarity giggled.



"Nyyo I cyyaAan't," said Mr. Kitty, "AaAnd IiI yam verRrRy haAaAngry!"



"Hangry?!" Applejack hollered, falling apart into raucus yip-yahoos.

Giggling into her wings, Twilight had to admit that hangry was one of her favorite colloquial portmanteaus. Through her chortles, Twilight managed to get one of her eyes open. She looked to the Princess, who held a wing to her mouth bashfully, trembling with a repressed laugh.

Other than Luna, only Pinkie was keeping herself under control. "I don't know if Mr. Kitty knows what true hangry is," she said judgmentally. "Unless he stole Celestia's breakfast once."

"OHOHOHOHOOO!!!" Everyone jumped as Luna erupted into laughter, burying her face in her pillow self-consciously, blushing pink. Even through the fabric, her muffled hooting carried quite well.

Rainbow Dash took the excuse to recuperate, until Luna had gotten herself under control, before she proceeded with a face brighter than any reindeer's.



"Let me hewp yew!" Hairball said.
She gently picked Mr. Kitty up around his cute round tummy and put him on the table.



"Unlike Cozy Glow, Hairball is an idiot," Rarity judged. Everyone nodded.



And Mr. Kitty was able to eat as much as he liked.



"Th-this explains his corpulence..." Luna offered, still giggling.

Everyone jumped and turned towards a growl from Pinkie. "Dumb cat had better be getting his exercise, or he's making the rest of us round-tummied folks look bad..." she hissed.



But he made a terrible mess.
"Mr. Kitty! Yew made a tewwibuw mess," Hairball said. "My pawents are gonna be weawwy mad."



"Don't wanna piss off Cozy Glow's parents none," Applejack said, and everyone shuddered. Cozy's father was the loudest creature they had ever met.

Dash must have turned off her mind to power through the rest of the story, or else Twilight was sure she would have refused to read it as written.



And when Hairball's parents came home and saw the mess, she and Mr. Kitty and the person reading this book all got tickled.



There was a pause.

"Wait what --" Rainbow Dash said blankly, then squeaked as Applejack's lasso caught around her middle. Within an instant, Twilight's panic rocketed up and then vanished in relief; she was terrified that one day Applejack would land the lasso around someone's limb or neck. Fortunately, the only grievous injuries Applejack had inflicted so far were to inanimate objects.

"Yep," Applejack said, jumping over to seize Rainbow Dash immediately, "'n' ol' Honest Applejack lasso'd Rainbow Dash by 'er cute round tummy --"

"You better not!!" Rainbow Dash cried, struggling to get out, but unable to find a solid purchase while Applejack held her against her pillow. Her eyes were suddenly wide with terror.

"-- so's she wouldn't fly 'way none," Applejack continued, "On 'count of Applejack knows better 'n' anypony in Ponyville jes' where Missy Rainbow Dash is th' most ticklish."

"S-stop! Anypony else! Not Applejack!" Rainbow Dash yelled, trying to kick at Applejack with little success.

"Now, foal's books is supposed ta be edge-a-ma-cational-like," Applejack said calmly, still holding Rainbow Dash down. "And on account o' my tickle-touchin' is so extinguished --"

"Exquisite, dear," Rarity said over Dash's lion cub roars, then wrinkled her nose. "Or perhaps distuinguished -- er, have we had this conversation before?"

"-- that's th' one, that first one," Applejack said. "Y'all will be seein' th' proper technique just presently, what fer yer edga-a-ma-cation." Twilight could not stop her mouth from scowling. It just happened when Applejack put on that smug face and did that smug voice.

Twilight blinked. Did everyone else want to sock her as badly, most of the time, as she wanted to sock Applejack right now? She couldn't have... a punchable face, could she? About a week or two into their friendship, Rainbow Dash once did that thing where you pretend you're gonna punch someone in the nose but then stop short. Twilight had squeaked. Did Rainbow Dash still want to not-punch her in the nose?! She was the one who asked this dare, after all!

Twilight's blatantly irrational panic was soothed by the sound of Applejack's pompous drawl. "Now, I ain't got no wings m'self," the cheeky freckle-cheeked heckler said, now sitting on Rainbow Dash's behind and "cracking" her hooves like knuckles, "But it sure seems ta me they're mighty sensitive."

Immediately, Twilight felt her wings locking hard to her sides, the feathers spreading like a fan of blades. She saw the same movement from Fluttershy and the Princess. Rainbow Dash made a sound somewhere between an elephant trumpet and a sob.

Rarity gave a prim pout. "Mm, I've noticed this myself," she concurred. "I once mistakenly attempted to get Fluttershy's attention with a tug to one wing..."

"Oh my, yes!" Fluttershy opined uncomfortably. "The feathers can shelter our skin from the cut of the wind, but... the wrong physical touch can be... unbearable..." She shuddered as Applejack nodded solemnly.

Luna shifted on her seat a bit. "It is worse when they are wet... 'tis not so different from how one walks upon hooves, yet the hooves are quite ticklish."

"You might remember me screamin' when I broke my wing and had to go the hospital?!" Dash testified. "The pain broke my mind! Made me an egghead! Sensitive! Very! No touchy!"

"Don't worry, Dashie, I won't break nothin', won't hurt a darn thing 'cept yer pride," Applejack cooed. "I promise." And, as everyone else with wings shut their eyes and looked away, she started tickling Rainbow Dash's wings.

For the first second, Rainbow Dash just tensed and made those weird "kuh!" sounds. Then Applejack seemed to find the weak point - right around the bases - and she started shaking and laughing... or rather, giggling like Rarity and snorting like Pinkie Pie.

This soon progressed to girly shrieking, along with the snorts.

Everyone other than Applejack - even Luna - went wide-eyed at hearing such sounds coming from Rainbow Dash. "Most unexpected." the dark horse offered. "I had predicted cackling." Both her wings, and Twilight's, occasionally suddenly jerked; Twilight felt like invisible lightning was crackling at her sides.

"My word," Rarity cooed, her smile widening and eyes watering. "She was always a bit more effeminate than she let on!" she mused fondly, and sniffled. "She's so cute!"

Applejack let up after ten torturous seconds and extracted Dash from her lasso. Dash twisted away from her as she backed off and sat back down, squirming uncomfortably with her wings writhing. "Y-you..!" Dash rasped, her eyes watering. "I hate you..!" But Applejack smiled, because even if Dash might maybe have meant it, she had no breath to put any malice in it.

"Oh-oh-oh!" came Pinkie's voice from an empty pillow. When everyone turned to look, the pillow sprang up with her underneath it, wearing it like a massive hat. "Do me next! I wanna make cute piggy noises too!" And, without any tickling, Pinkie's nose - the only part of her face visible under her pillow-hat - began convulsing with oinks.

As her wings sensed the danger had passed and calmed down, Twilight rubbed her chin with a hoof. She wasn't entirely surprised to hear Rainbow Dash devolve into girlish squealing. She already knew from Fluttershy that Dash had been more of a girly-girl in flight school - "a fashionista", Fluttershy had said. This apparently stopped in the few weeks after Rainbow Dash first met Rarity. She furrowed her brows and considered the correlation.

With her head full of thoughts of Rainbow Dash hiding a tutu between her wings from Rarity, and pampering herself at the Ponyville spa on days Rarity wouldn't be there, Twilight blinked and remembered what was going on. "Oh!" She said. "I suppose that concludes Rainbow Dash's turn!"

"Your performance was marvelous, dear, after a shaky start," Rarity offered.

"Are you kidding!!" the red-faced blue girl shouted. "Did you see how... how... not cool I was?!" Of course they did. So what? It wasn't like Twilight was cool. If Applejack had tickled her wings, she would be crying and hiccuping and calling her a bully. Twilight was rather lame, if she said so herself - even as a Princess.

"Oh Rainbow Dash," came Fluttershy's soft tones, "I still think you're very cool. You're the coolest girl in the spa." Her voice became even quieter and she looked both ways before raising a forehoof and continuing. "Goooooo... Rainbow Dash!" She punched about half an inch forward to accentuate this.

Dash hid her face in her pillow. "Yeah sure. Thanks." she droned listlessly.