Birds chirping.
Water babbling over a brook.
The swish of trees swaying with the morning breeze.
Shawn had never once regretted his decision to buy that "Sounds of Nature" alarm app for his phone. Ever since he had, he always woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. As usual, he decided to wait and listen to the soothing melodies for a few more minutes before getting out of bed.
A rooster crowing in the distance.
The scurrying footsteps of curious little critters. Huh, that's new...
The dewy grass tickling the back of his neck. Wait...
He bolted upright with a shout, scattering a small family of chipmunks that had been investigating the strange creature sleeping on the entrance to their burrow in the middle of a field. To their credit, they didn't scurry very far from his violent awakening before turning to scrutinize him with impatient stares.
Shawn, on the other hand, was beginning to hyperventilate as the confusion of waking from a deep sleep wore off and recent memories flooded back. He remembered The Sha- no, The Nightmare. Lots of light and noise, as if from an explosion...
"Gus..." He stood, truly beginning to panic, "GUUUUS!” Had the explosion totally annihilated the complex, killing his best friend? No, Shawn wouldn't have survived that either. Had it flung him out of the building and into the wilderness?
No way... Besides, I'm not even in a fridge. Or a desert. Someone must have dumped him in the woods while he was unconscious... again. The Nightmare, perhaps?
He patted himself down, feeling only a few scratches and bruises, as well as a wicked sunburn on the left side of his face. His jeans were ripped and his favorite green polo had a hole burnt into the left side. At least his sneakers had made it through relatively unscathed. Walking home barefoot would have been unpleasant.
"What the hell happened?" He muttered. The sound of his own voice helped calm him as he paced. This wasn't the first time he'd woken up in a strange place in the middle of a case. First time an alien ghost was to blame, though.
Ok, Shawn. Do what dad taught you: Calm down... Check. Take inventory... Check. Observe your surroundings... He took a deep breath and looked around.
He appeared to be in a field, littered with debris that looked like it had come from... whatever that machine had been. To his left was a line of very ominous trees. To his right-
"What..."
Flatlands, as far as the eye could see, interrupted only by the occasional shrub. Not a cloud in the sky. What truly caught his attention, however, was how... picturesque everything was. Had the grass not been waving in the breeze he would have sworn he was looking at a painting. Everything just looked so perfect. Too perfect.
"Ooooook... That's a little creepy." Still, a second look at the dark tree line convinced him it was the far better option.
He checked his pockets and breathed a sigh of relief to find his phone and wallet still there. However, relief quickly became annoyance at seeing a total lack of bars on the top left corner of his phone. Figures.
Annoyance turned to mild concern when his GPS completely failed to discern his location. And mild concern evolved into outright panic when a closer look revealed a lack of GPS signal altogether. Is my phone busted? He smacked it a couple of times against his hand to no avail. Well, it's not like the satellites disappeared. That explosion must have shaken something loose. He noted that the time read 2:30 AM, and looked up at the sun, which was nearly directly overhead. Yup... busted.
The deduction left him unsatisfied, but it was the best he could come up with. He wished Gus was there, sure that his friend would chime in with some obscure bit of normally useless knowledge that would help in some strangely coincidental fashion. Or at least lighten the mood.
Shawn put the phone away and looked around one last time before letting out a shrug. Flipping a mental coin to pick a direction, he started walking (to the relief of the chipmunk family he'd displaced), keeping the tree line in sight and to his right. He didn't really want to stay near the forest, but he was sure he'd be going in circles within minutes of walking out into those featureless flatlands without a working GPS. As he walked, he started thinking back on everything that happened, but nothing new popped out at him. It was frustrating. Being able to remember tiny details of everything he saw was only helpful if he could fit them together into something that made sense. But none of this was making any sense. Eventually, his thoughts came back to The Nightmare. It... She?... Had obviously caused that explosion on purpose, but she had said nothing that gave him any clues as to why she'd done it.
After over an hour of walking, Shawn finally caught a break. He almost missed it, having been so deep in thought, but there was definitely a thin trail of smoke rising from behind a hill almost straight ahead. And... "Is that a road?" He whooped and ran forward. It wasn't so much a road as a beaten path. Still, those were definitely hoof-prints in that mud. And where there were horses and smoke, there would be people. Hopefully, nice people. With food! And a landline! He sniffed... And a shower!
Still laughing, he turned to follow the path away from the forest. Again, he found himself with time to think as he walked and a closer look revealed the hoof-prints looked a bit small for a horse. Maybe a donkey? It would explain the lack of cart tracks. Donkeys usually carry stuff in saddle-bags, right? Might help if I knew anything about pack animals. Or tracks.
The thought was side-tracked as he came upon a series of fences and trees enclosing a yard and a chicken coop. Beyond them, on a hill, was a cottage. Well, the word cottage didn't really do it justice. It looked like the Swiss family Robinson had collaborated with a bunch of hobbits to build the most idyllic, fantastical, nature-friendly house possible for the set of an 80's kid’s movie.
It rose out of the ground on wooden, soft-brown painted walls. From a bird's-eye view, the roof would have been indistinguishable from a tree-top, except for how perfectly cropped the whole thing was. Splashes of color gave life to the doors and windows, without detracting from the natural feel. He followed a little cobblestone path from the muddy road he'd been walking on to its doorstep.
"Huh... That's a funny door." It was split into a top and bottom half, each with a handle, the whole thing standing only a bit taller than his own 5'10. He hesitated, hand hovering over the wood as a half-formed thought nagged at the back of his mind. Meh... Whatever... I'm sure it'll come to me once I get something in my stomach. He knocked.
As the clop of heavy footsteps got closer, the thoughts that had been bothering him began to take the shape of questions. How had The Nightmare gotten him past security and out of the building? Why had she left him his cell-phone and wallet? Why hadn't there been a single human track on that path? Wait... 'CLOP of heavy footsteps’!?
Before he could finish the thought the door opened to reveal a... tiny .. horse? It was a creamy yellow with a short muzzle only as high as his chest. Its pink mane didn’t quite hide its large, overly expressive eyes, which it proceeded to open wide as it uttered a terrified squeaking noise. Are those wings? What were the winged horses from Greek mythology called? Pe-... Pega-...
"DEMON DONKEY!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
He screamed. The pegasus screamed. Both turned to run. Only, while the little yellow pegasus successfully reentered the cottage, Shawn managed to trip over his own feet. He saw cobblestone steps rushing to meet his face. Oh shit, not agai- Darkness.
-----------------------------------------
Fluttershy bolted into her home, forgetting to even lock the front door behind her as she rushed into her bedroom and cowered beneath the bed.
This certainly wasn't the first time she'd ever been visited by a creature from the Everfree. Bears, wolves, and even a manticore or two occasionally dropped by. Most of them were directed there by Steve the river serpent when he found them suffering from one ailment or another. This was the first time, however, that a visitor had reacted (or looked) quite like that.
She noticed Angel at her side, clearly terrified but trying to comfort her anyway. The sight of her precious little bunny putting on a brave face for her did the trick, and she managed to stop shaking and calm herself.
"Oh, Angel..." She put a hoof around him and pulled the bunny close, "It's ok... I'm ok now... That poor little thing is probably more scared of us than we are of it." The irony of calling a creature almost a foot taller than her "little" never even crossed her mind. Instead, she thought back to its face as it had screamed that gibberish. The only thing she'd ever seen that looked even remotely like whatever was outside her house was a monkey... And this thing's face had certainly been more expressive.
In fact, its face had clearly been expressing terror. And, maybe confusion? Definitely terror, though. Guilt hit her as she crawled out from under the bed and floated back to her front door. Cracking the bottom half open, she peeked around it, looking for the... whatever it was. It took her a moment before she spotted it.
"Oh no!" She burst from the door, flitting to the inert creature, which had somehow managed to knock itself out on her steps. No pool of blood meant the injury probably wasn't serious, though a concussion was still possible. She breathed a sigh of relief, landed, and moved to flip it unto its back.
That's when she noticed it was wearing clothes.
"Oh..."
---------------------------------
Birds chirping.
Water babbling over a brook.
The swish of trees swaying with the breeze.
Shawn's head was pounding. Had he gone drinking last night? He couldn't remember, which meant he probably had. At least he could be glad to wake up to the soothing sounds of nature. He had never once regretted his decision to buy... Uhh... Wait...
He started to bolt upright, but the resulting headache made him immediately regret the action. His eyes felt like they were glued shut, so he settled for exploring what he could with his hands. Ok... I'm in a bed this time. That can't be a bad sign. Rubbing his eyes, and trying not to move around too much, he noticed something wrapped around his head. A bandage? Who...?
For the second time that day, memories began to flood back. Nightmare. Explosion. Field. Path. House. Demon Donkey.
"Oh, man..." Shawn groaned and finally got his eyes open. He could see that someone had been nice enough to draw the curtains. The soft candle-light was easy on his eyes, still sensitive from the blow to his head. Had the pegasus been imaginary? He wasn't sure anymore. Maybe a by-product of whatever concussion he'd gotten the first time he was knocked out that day. The cottage he'd seen was real, as he was clearly in it. He sat up, slowly this time, and took a look around. The bed was a bit short for him, though wide for its length. His phone and wallet sat on a night-stand near one of the lit candles.
He picked them up and took note of the rest of the room. What little furniture there was seemed to run on the small but sturdy side. He noted it was all beautifully crafted out of wood. "No chairs... huh..."
Getting to his feet, Shawn noticed the low ceiling, which hung only a foot from his head. He walked to the only door and opened it with a touch to reveal the rest of the cottage.
"Hello? Is someone home!?" No answer.
It was the same general design in the living room… or whatever that common area just past the front door was called in a Robinson-Hobbit cottage. There was even a little wooden staircase with perches, bird houses, and other such paraphernalia spread throughout.
"Ok. So, whoever saved me's into animals. I can dig that." Shawn realized he was talking to himself... Probably suffering from Guster withdrawal, "Hope you're ok, buddy..." He needed to find a landline to make sure Gus wasn't hurt and check in with his dad. Juliet would probably rip him a new one for not calling sooner.
He found the kitchen, but no fridge or other modern appliances. The dining room had only a table, "Huh... Still no chairs?" And there was no phone to be found anywhere, "This is getting weird. Did I end up in an Amish village?" That was going to cause some issues, though it seemed more likely the more he explored.
A skittering noise made him turn faster than he should have, setting his head to pounding again. Shawn held on to the table for support until the dizziness passed, then looked around. It took a few moments before he spotted the little white fuzzball in the middle of the room. A tiny little rabbit stared back, twitchy-nosed and trembling with its little ears down flat against its head, eyes wide and gleaming.
"D'aaaawwww. Aren't you the cutest widdle bunny I ever saw?" He glanced around, glad that Guster wasn't there to see that. "Ah, who am I kidding... That chocolate bear would melt at the first sight this little guy!" Smiling widely, he walked over and knelt, cooing and using baby-speak the whole time. As he got closer, its eyes only seemed to get wider and gleamier.
Shawn reached out a hand to pet it, heart melting, when the little rabbit's eyes suddenly narrowed, "Uhh..." He barely choked out before a razor sharp set of carrot-chompers came down on his hand.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! DEMON BUNNY!" He jumped and fell backwards over the dining room table, upending it and sending the rabbit flying across the room and onto the couch. It sat up, shook its head and glared daggers at Shawn, who was now crouched behind the table, using it as an impromptu shield and trying not to throw up from the pain of hitting his head again. It was between him and the front door…
"Back! Back, you vicious little monster!" He frantically looked around for a window to escape through, only now realizing that they were all too small and framed in very sturdy looking wood, "I thought rabbits were herbivores!"
The rabbit jumped off the couch and charged again, causing Shawn to let out his least manly scream yet and make a mad dash for the door. He jumped over the rabbit, who slipped while trying to snap at his leg and ran face-first into the wall.
Laughing triumphantly, Shawn slammed the door open and sprinted outside... Straight into a very confused group of six colorful ponies. Even in his panicked state, his eye for detail took note of the horns and sets of wings. The sight of the miniaturized mythical creatures, however, was too much for his mind to fully appreciate in its current ragged state. Then he recalled what happened with the innocent-looking bunny only moments before.
"OH GOD, MORE DEMON DONKIES!!!" He screamed and made a bee-line for the roadway, while a purple one babbled at him in a strange series of chirps and squeaks. The disarming sweetness of its voice almost gave him pause. He swore he could taste sugar just from the sound of it. Still, he thought, these things are a lot bigger than that rabbit. Probably bite harder too.
His worst fears were confirmed as a light blue one with wings and... Is that mane rainbow colored!?... flew straight at him. Fast. Scary fast. Shawn barely made it five feet before the blue blur slammed into his back and pinned him face-down on the grass. He wheezed from the weight, until it suddenly seemed to realize it was crushing him and stepped off. Shawn slowly flipped unto his back, gasping and defeated.
"Ok...” Pant “...you win! Just... Please, make it quick..." The others began chirping wildly at the blue one as they moved to catch up and it looked at him with what he swore was guilt in its eyes. Then the purple one was up front, horn lowered at him and glowing as the inside of his head started to itch. That can't be healthy... maybe I really DO have a concussion.
"You know..." Shawn felt strangely calm in the face of death. So much so that he finally managed to sit up and take a closer look at them, "If you guys weren't about to kill me, I'd say you're pretty cute for bunch of flesh-eating demon donkies..." The purple unicorn stopped and stared at him, looking confused.
"Ummm... Thanks? I guess?"
WHAT
"Did that thang jus' call us donkies, Twi?"
"Actually, Applejack, darling, I believe it called you a demon donkie."
"ME!?"
"Well, it couldn't very well be referring to me, could it? I'm far too fashionable to be demonic."
"Rarity… one o' these days, Ah swear..."
THE
"Ooooo, ooooo! I know, I know! It must've meant Rainbow Dash, cause she's a speed demon! And she knocked it over trying to say hi! You don't need to knock ponies over to say hi, silly! HI!!! See!? But you do need to throw them a party! OH! I know! We'll have a party! Do you like cupcakes!? I bet you like cupcakes! Everyone likes cupcakes!"
"Pinkie Pie, you are so random."
FUCK
"Wait, girls! I think it's trying to say something!" Shawn's jaw hung slackly from his face, the logical part of his mind having ditched him for the second time that day. Traitor.
"Um... Twilight... Sorry, but... I-I think it might still be hurt... Maybe we should take it inside... You know... If you think that might be best, I guess..."
Vision swimming, head pounding, mind blank, Shawn couldn't help but giggle, "It's a dream... It's aaaaaall a dreeeeeam..." The sky was rushing away from him, then... Darkness.
“O-Oh, my…”