//------------------------------// // A Retired Villain // Story: A Retired Villain // by Michigan J Frog //------------------------------// The two alicorns stared at their new home from the wooden dock where they stood. Seaward Shoals was quite a nice-looking place, with many multi-colored buildings placed on stilts on a hill next to the sea. At least the sisters knew their retirement would give them a nice view whenever they peered out the window. As Celestia trotted across the dock towards the steps, her younger dark purple sister followed her. "Are you sure a standard pony retirement home like this is a good idea for us?" Luna asked. "Of course it is!" the older white alicorn responded. "This is said to be the greatest retirement home in all of Equestria." "I'm not saying it isn't," Luna continued. "It's just that, in case you needed to be reminded...we're not regular ponies. We're immortal beings, and the most powerful ponies in Equestria...practically gods. I was expecting something grander, like...I don't know...us ascending and merging with the sun and moon to take full control of them." "Well, we're not immortal anymore," replied Celestia. "After we fused our crowns, we gave all our power to Twilight, remember? Now we'll be aging like normal ponies should." "I know," Luna grunted. "But I still think a retirement home is a little undignified for ponies as great as us." As soon as the alicorns stepped in through the front door, every senior pony lifted their head from the task they were currently doing and turned to face the entrance. "The princesses?" said a bald stallion. "They're here?" "THE PRINCESSES ARE HERE!" all the other elderly ponies shouted. Before the princesses knew it, they were surrounded by a crowd of seniors each holding something for the sisters to sign. "Sign my kerchief!" "Sign my shirt!" "Sign my teeth!" "Alright! Alright, everypony! One at a time! One at a time!" Celestia exclaimed as she levitated a pen from behind her mane and began to sign one old mare's kerchief. "Sister?" she asked, turning to Luna. "You want to give these ponies what they ask for?" Luna tried not to gag at the sight of all the wrinkles and liverspots in front of her. She was too polite to admit it, but these senior ponies smelled awful. The younger alicorn sighed as she reluctantly signed one stallion's dentures. Over in the far corner of the home, a blue ram held a paintbrush in his teeth, gently painting a pattern of pink flowers on the side of a wooden desk. The commotion caused the ram to raise his head toward the direction of the entrance. "Celestia? Luna?" The two alicorns looked up from their autographs at the sound of the familiar gruff voice. All the seniors turned in that direction too. Slowly trotting towards the group was a large blue ram with long curled horns, a light silver mane, tail, and eyebrows, and two pointed canine teeth protruding from his lower jaw. He wore a red collar with gold bells hanging from it. "Grogar!" one old stallion shouted. "Look who came to stay!" He turned back toward the sisters. "You two! Go introduce yourselves!" Celestia and Luna cautiously trotted towards the ram as he shyly grinned. "The royal sisters," he said. "I haven't seen you in a thousand years. How have things been?" The two alicorns just stared at him, suspicious frowns on their faces. "We remember you," Luna said in a stern tone of voice. "You were a threat to all of Equestria. If Gusty the Great hadn't taken your bell, who knows what would have happened?" "How do we know you aren't just Discord playing another joke on us?" Celestia said. Just recently, the chaotic draconequus had pretended to be the legendary evil ram in order to summon three of Equestria's most notorious criminals and teach their student and replacement Twilight Sparkle a lesson in being a princess. Needless to say, this had gone badly. Luna bent over and touched the ram's forehead with her horn. A glow spread from her horn and covered his entire body, scanning him, as he closed his eyes. Soon, the glow retreated back where it came, resulting in the ram opening his eyes again. "He's real," Luna said, turning to her sister. "But he's still one of Equestria's most notorious villains. What is he doing here?" Grogar sighed. "I was a villain," he said. "And I was quite good at it...but that was until Gusty stole my bell that contained all my powers and hid it. I spent hundreds of years searching for that bell, and never found it. During that time, many other baddies showed up. Tirek, King Sombra, Discord, Nightmare Moon...they were all much better villains than me. "While all this was going on, I realized that with so many other threats to Equestria, there was just no point in trying to conquer it anymore. So I gave up my search for the bell to retire from villainy. While retired, I developed many little hobbies such as painting, sewing, cooking, and gardening. "Soon, those other baddies were defeated, and Equestria was once again free to conquer...free to all be mine!" Grogar gained a look of determination on his face, before his ears and eyelids lowered once again. "But I found I enjoyed those simple hobbies much more than I thought I would...plus I had made so many friends in my retirement...I couldn't just leave it all behind so soon for something as complex as villainy. So I've decided to live out the rest of my long life here in this nice little home. I've made friends with practically everypony here. Isn't that right, everypony?" "Oh, yes!" said an old stallion. "Grogar is the greatest!" "He knows how to cook my favorite applesauce!" said an old mare. "He paints real good!" "He knitted me a fancy handkerchief as a gift!" "He can sure grow nice flowers!" "And tasty vegetables!" The two alicorns looked up from Grogar and turned to face each other confused. Then they walked over to a far corner where nopony could overhear them. "You know what?" Celestia whispered. "As crazy as this may sound...I don't think he's faking it. Everypony else seems to like him well enough, and as he pointed out, he had a chance to try conquering Equestria again. If he was still evil, he would have taken that opportunity." "Well, if you say so," Luna replied. "But I'm keeping my eye on him, just in case he does anything suspicious." The sisters turned back towards Grogar, who was tapping one hoof anxiously, before walking towards him again. "So..." Celestia said. "You said you know a lot about gardening." "Oh yes!" Grogar responded, nodding with his eyes wide open excitedly. "You ever gardened before?" "Not since me and Luna were teens," Celestia said, looking down at her sister. "You wanna teach us what you know?" "Of course! Follow me! The garden's back here!" Grogar led Celestia over to the back door. The older alicorn turned and beckoned one wing to her younger sister, who shrugged before following the two. "Maybe this retirement home won't be so bad after all," Luna said out loud as she stepped into the back garden where Grogar held a watering can in his teeth.