//------------------------------// // 21 – Bring to Moonlight // Story: Five Score – A Prench Tale Vol.1 // by Alsey //------------------------------// Amber's View “You– you're Princess Luna!”, I gasp, jerking away from the regal mare. “I am.”, she nods with a slight smile, her flowing mane twinkling like the clear night sky. “And you're not just a figment of my imagination, right..?” She arches an eyebrow, still smiling, and somehow this is answer enough..! “And to whom am I speaking?” “Amber Spire, your, er...” 'Majesty'? 'Highness'? What's the protocol here!? Wait, should I kneel too? I don't know! I feel like I should, but how do you even kneel as a pony!? Forelegs, hindlegs, both!? And which side!? Fortunately she doesn't seem to find issue with my gaucherie: “I have come to impart you with an important message, Amber Spire.”, she declares, though she's interrupted by a most un-princessy yawn. “Sorry, all these time zones are getting tiring... I can't stay long, so I'll be brief: the Mane Six and many other ponies have gathered in Iowa, and they may have found a way back to Equestria. You should... Yes, do you have a question?” Gosh I don't want to sound like an idiot, but now that she asked..! “I– I'm sorry Princess, but what do you mean by 'Mane Six'..?” The alicorn blinks in surprise. “Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends, of course.”, she answers. “They're our best hope in the fight against Discord, but they'll still need all the help they can get. You will find them there...” My old room's familiar scenery melts away, giving place to a road in a forested area, a sign set near a path leading to a private property. It reads 'Mac & Applejack’s pony farm' in English. There's more text, but before I can try to understand it the vision's superimposed by a bird's eye view of the zone, zooming out as if I were looking up from a map, revealing that this place is actually right in the heart of North America. Despite all this being technically a dream, I can still feel the headache rising as my brain overloads, struggling to draw up a path from Coursac to this random point in the US..! Our surroundings get more and more blurry until the vision starts collapsing, leaving a moonlit void in its wake. Come on Amber, focus on something simpler..! Oh yes, like the path to the toilets! Focus on that! The desired path draws itself in my mind, soothingly straightforward, and the darn headache begins to recede... “Please excuse me,” the Princess tells me as a peaceful meadow forms around us, “in my haste this may have come out a little too strong...” “It's... It's all right Princess, it was my fault. Just my talent acting up...” She takes a quick peek at my flank. “Is your cutie mark in FPS games or something..?”, she asks, puzzled. “No, no, it's, er, it's all about finding my way, in fact.”, I blabber, still a little dizzy. “Then fate led me to the right pony indeed.”, the blue alicorn nods stately. “I believe others are with you, so pass on this message, and guide them safely home.” My breath catches in my throat. Is she... Is she asking ME to– to lead ponies across almost a quarter of the planet!? I can barely take care of myself! “But Princess, I..!” Gentle feathers brush against my withers, even if the Princess herself didn't move. “I feel you are far more capable than you may think.”, she tells me in a kind, patient voice. “Take comfort in the fact that even if this is a long and arduous journey, you are never alone! Your friends and your fellow ponies will be with you every step of the way. Actually,”, she adds, as if something had just occurred to her, “I remember this French pegasus, a Royal Guard... I tasked her with gathering and protecting as many ponies as possible until we found a solution – it would be auspicious for the two of you to meet.” As she says this, a cutie mark appears: a white and gray vortex, circling a cyan star, over an azure background. It looks suspiciously familiar... “With that, I must depart; many more ponies need to be informed. Farewell Amber Spire, and good luck!” Her horn shines, and all is darkness. I open my eyes to the blanket's fabric. There's sunlight shining through the threads of my snooze cocoon, so I've probably overslept a little... Though considering how tired I was yesterday, I don't think anypony would blame me for it! This good night of sleep really did wonders, though my dreams weren't necessarily of the restful sort... And what to think of this strange sequence involving Princess Luna? I mean, it... It felt so real! But... It can't really be, right..? My memories of the scene are crystal-clear; only the Amber-related nightmares can compare in that regard. I think I was relatively lucid too, and nothing happened that would be too illogical or incoherent... Well, except the whole point of meeting an alicorn princess right out of the cartoon, but then, wouldn't that be kind of expected too..? Dang it, I can't parse through this kind of question like this! First, I need coffee..! I drag myself out of my blanket, crawling over the little mountain of pillows and out of the communal sleeping area. Yesterday somepony took the initiative of bringing down the wooden screen that had been separating unicorns and the earth ponies for weeks, and used the planks to build a perch of sorts for pegasi wanting to sleep closer to their friends while still enjoying some height. A perfect representation of our newfound unity if there ever was one! Sleeping in the barn last night was still kind of a contentious issue for some, though. After what happened to Chard, the fear of a direct attack on the farm was very real, especially considering that these humans had already sneaked in at least once to poison our gardens and water, without our knowing. Well, except for Pippinstrelle's; after some probing by Laurence, the mare admitted remembering seeing humans lurking around on the night of the twenty-fourth to twenty-fifth. She was gathering food in the woods, hiding from the rain, and in her own words, she just thought that 'they must have had a reason to be here'... This lapse of judgment will stay secret for now, however, because Pippin volunteered to keep watch last night along with Laurence, and this was a good way to both alleviate concerns and involve her a little more into the broader community. The barn's doors have been left ajar, allowing light to stream in. I tidy up things a little, tie my mane with a scrunchy, to be properly brushed later, and go outside. Ponies are already back to work even at this fairly early hour, resuming the slow process of excavating the top layer of soil across the fields and putting healthy forest ground in its place. They're all in groups, not a pony left alone; probably more prudent. I plan to help them of course, but for now my hooves carry me towards the garage, and its sacred coffee pot. Here I find Éclat d'Astre, washing the post-breakfast dishes, going about her task slowly and carefully for once. That's not a bad thing, as she can sometimes be a tad clumsy, with both hooves and magic... “Oh, morning Amber!”, she calls as she spots me, almost sending a plate flying in the process. “Morning Éclat; any coffee left?” “Afraid not...”, she frowns in sympathy. “You should check on the Vallières's side, just in case!” I'll probably start a new pot anyway, though some coffee to tide me over would be nice. I just hoped I wouldn't have to go to such extremes... Ivan Vallières's wrath against intruders is more than well-known to everypony. But still... Coffee..! Plucking up my courage, I shuffle towards the door leading to the kitchen, and pry it open with careful application of my magic. Ears alert, I don't notice any sound, so I slink my way into the room. Still nothing, but— “Ahem...”, comes a gruff voice from my left. Pushing my forelock away, I see Mr. Vallières standing in the corner, arms crossed, just waiting for me to do anything to further worsen my case. “Er... Good morning..?”, I try to smile, even as my ears are folding back and my tail's curling between my legs. “You're not in mortal danger anymore, you don't have to keep invading my house..!”, the old man grumbles, staring me down. “What is it this time? Or no, let me guess, with you it can only be one thing: coffee, right?” I could pretend that I was on my way to see Chard, who spent the night in the guest room and in a real bed, but that wouldn't be very honest of me... “I, er, yes, Mr. Vallières, I'm sorry..!” “Well maybe you will get up at a decent hour next time, because there's not a drop left here either.” Awwwwwwww..! Why is the world so cruel!? I'll have to— “Look, it's a sonic rainboom!”, I hear a foal's excited voice from the living room. Mr. Vallières lets out a long-suffering sigh. “I said you could watch only if you kept quiet!”, he barks loudly enough to be heard from the other room, but he's only answered by childish giggles. 'Sonic rainboom'... I've heard this expression before. Forgetting all about what I was doing, I trot to the living room. Five of our foals, including Mesembrine, are huddled in front of the television. On the screen is some random talk show with the caption 'Still Unexplained – Alien Contact Attempt!?', but it's the clip itself that really catches my attention. A nondescript American city, its sky ablaze with all the colors of the rainbow, radiating unnaturally from a single point like ripples on the surface of a pond. “What is that..?”, I breathe, transfixed. “It's a sonic rainboom!”, Follavoine repeats, stomping her little hooves. “No it's not.”, Rustcrust refutes. “They just said it's an atmospheric phenomenon like an aurora.” “They're humans, they know nothing!”, the filly counters. “It's just like the one in the show!” “How many ponies can create a rainboom..?”, I ask her, my eyes not leaving the screen as we're treated to scenes of the inhabitants reacting to the incredible sight. “Rainbow Dash's the only one,” answers Follavoine without hesitation, “it's her special talent!” Rainbow Dash... One of the main characters, of these 'Mane Six'... I turn to Musème, the unicorn colt having made himself known for his sharp and precise memory: “Did they say where and when this occurred?” “Morning of May twentieth, over the capital city of Iowa.”, he states with his usual precision. Iowa... Just like the Princess said..! But it was more than ten days ago! Why didn't we hear about this earlier? More importantly, though, this would prove that... That it was really the Princess!! I... I talked to Princess Luna!! While acting like a complete idiot!! And she... She... She asked me to... To... I– I need some fresh air, right now! The front door opens with a flick of my horn and I stumble outside, gasping for breath as if I were drowning, heart throbbing in my chest! All right, try to calm down, Amber..! She told you you're not alone, and it's true! And she told you to guide, and that's the thing you're best at! It's... Yes it's still daunting, but I should try! ... But what if I fail? What if I can't do it!? She's the Princess, I can't afford to fall short in any way!! “Ah, Amber, you're up!”, comes Luisard's voice from next to me. I didn't even notice him alighting at my side, my mind still ping-ponging between panic and a little less panic..! “I... I know I may've come off as a little harsh yesterday, and I'm sorry if it gave you this impression, so... Uh, Amber? Are you alright..?” Slowly I turn to face the concerned stallion. “I was visited by Princess Luna.”, I manage to get out. He blinks, bewildered, but my distress must be too clear to not at least give me the benefit of the doubt: “Princess Luna... As in, from that pony cartoon?” I nod. “And no, before you ask, it wasn't a dream. Well all right, it was a dream, but not just a dream! She revealed to me something that's just been confirmed by an independent source; it was really her..!” “Was it... the real Princess from Equestria, or a new pony like us?” “I'm not sure... I didn't think to ask, it all happened so fast! She also told me that other characters from the cartoon are in the US, and also...” Wait a minute. A French pegasus... A protector... And that cutie mark..! What would be the odds for this to be a coincidence!? Filled with new resolve, a brief turning of the compass gives me my next heading. “Luisard, try to see if they have more info on that sonic rainboom in Iowa, I have a new lead to investigate!” “Uh, alright?”, he agrees tentatively, but I'm already cantering towards the woods. If I'm correct... and I probably am... then somepony will have some serious explaining to do! Soon enough I arrive in view of my objective: Laurence, walking sedately between the trees, Dusky in tow. Her shorts and assorted bandages hide most of her cutie mark, but it still corresponds to what the Princess showed me... The mare quickly notices my approach, and when she turns to me she actually looks guilty, as if caught in the middle of some forbidden act: “Amber! I– I promise I'm taking it slow!” “She is.”, Dusky nods, as if anypony cared about his opinion. “This is just a brief patrol to see if everything's all right, it won't take too long!”, Laurence goes on. “Clem assured me that security's going to be improved, but you know me, I couldn't rest without at least making sure..!” I can understand, but she still looks awfully tired. Between her injuries from yesterday that barely had time to heal, and keeping watch part of the night... No, this is clearly not the responsible thing to do! Then maybe I should just ask her later..? No Amber, you can't push this issue back, you have to make sure! “Laurence... We need to talk.” “Uh. Usually in sitcoms these words do not portend anything good...”, she says, worried. “What is the matter?” “You knew, right..? When did the Princess come to you?”, I ask bluntly. After looking guilty then worried, now she looks downright afraid, eye wide, ears drawn back, tail hugging her legs! Seeing her like this, so far removed from the fearless pony I've come to know, is a shock all of its own. Dusky's visibly disturbed too, and this time I can't really blame him for the glare he directs at me; I don't like myself very much at the moment either..! Laurence's unease doesn't abate, but she seems to resign herself to it: “So... You know, too..?”, she whispers, barely audible. Dusky cocks his head, curious. “Know what?” “Yes, I do... And you didn't answer.”, I force myself to add. “I don't know..!”, the colt complains, but we don't pay attention to him. “Just after I lost my eye...”, she admits, staring at the ground, even more reluctant to meet my gaze than usual. Her eye..? But... But that was three and a half weeks ago! “You knew for so long and didn't care to share that with us!?”, I blurt out, the enormity of it all bursting through all my reservations! “Hey, don't yell at her!” “Please Dusky, not now..!”, the mare admonishes him. “Amber, you have to understand, it... It was so huge! I couldn't even wrap my head around it at first! Can't really say it got better, to be honest...” “And you knew it'd be somewhere in the middle of North America!? How are we even going to get there!? I certainly don't have any idea, and it's supposed to be my task!” Seriously, why didn't she talk about this earlier!? Maybe we could've avoided Coursac entirely! Or at least we could've focused our efforts and those of our government allies on trying to deal with this issue! I'm so incensed, Laurence's dull surprise barely registers: “... What?” “None of our official papers are ready yet,” I keep on ranting, “if they ever will be, and we can't take international flights looking like this anyway! How does she expect us to... To...” Only now do I really notice her confusion. She... She doesn't know what I'm talking about..? “Laurence?” No answer, her face blank. “Laurence... What did the Princess tell you?”, I press on, her reaction starting to alarm me. Her eyebrows crease into a frown, and she sighs deeply. “... That I should seek ponies, regroup them, protect them...” Her mission... So that wasn't just euphemistic, it really was a mission somepony gave her! It's something she's been pretty overt about though, so... “That's not all, is it..?” “No, it's not...”, she confesses, almost in spite of herself. Ah, I knew it! “What's this 'huge' thing then?” She starts dithering again: “I... I'm not sure you—” “No! I WANT to know!”, I shout, my nerves really starting to fray. “No more lies or deliberate omissions! Please, please, trust me!” “It's not that I don't trust you Amber, it's...” She sighs again, before steeling herself: “Okay.”, she agrees, and goes to sit on a comfortable patch of forest floor. “I'm really the last person who should have to explain this...”, she mutters to nopony in particular. As Dusky cuddles close, she finally looks straight at me, poised, her voice calm: “Tell me, Amber, what's your leading hypothesis on why we became ponies?” ... Is she joking? She doesn't look like she is... I'll humor her: “We're acting as living soul jars for cursed ponies. I thought that had been made clear weeks ago?” “That's Sassie's theory.”, she nods, but clearly that's not what she was expecting: “I want yours, in detail.” “Er...” What does it have to with anything? But I said I'd humor her, so I will; just wish I had had my coffee before that... “Okay, well, we received our cutie marks on our twenty-fifth birthday, all of us, earliest on May first. We changed, but it wasn't random. We weren't just 'ponified', we became specific characters, I mean, ponies that actually lived once in Equestria. Our dreams of the curse are too interconnected, too consistent to be random, it must be, like, the very last memories of the ponies before that monster caught them, the last sliver of who they were. It's also the only explanation for how Vi could be my, well, the original Amber Spire's mother, or why our pony age doesn't match with our human age. It also explains nicely our mental and personality changes. So, taking everything into account, along with the fact that Equestria must be real somehow, and humans found a way to make a cartoon out of it, rather than creating it from whole cloth... I suppose the ponies are reincarnated in us, in a way. Like their souls or something were pushed out of Equestria by the curse, and we became their hosts...” That's pretty much the same conclusion as Sassie's, though. What is she looking for? “If so,” Laurence questions, “when would we have begun to 'host' these ponies?” “Mmh, probably not too long before we got their cutie marks, maybe even right on May first, I suppose?” “Why specifically twenty-five years olds, and at the exact anniversary of their birth?” Er... “I'll give you a clue: in English, one of the meanings of 'score' is 'twenty', for some reason.” 'Score'? What is she talking about..? Oh yes, I remember! “Isn't that part of the curse? The 'Five score, Divided by four', it equals twenty-five then?” She nods, after withstanding the shivers these evil words give to the both of us. “So... Could it be, like, some kind of condition for becoming a host? The twenty-five years old thing I'd wager, right?”, I propose. “Trickier question then: if Discord cast his curse on May first, 2020... How could the creators of the show, which you said yourself must be inspired by the real Equestria, depict this very same event in the finale of the fifth season, which aired five years ago..?” “Wait, it did!?” “Yes. Sébastien confirmed it.” Well buck. She got me here..! We've talked about the events of that finale before, how it explained how the ponies ended up cursed, we just didn't push that thought to its logical conclusion... Yet that's clearly not the end point of her reasoning: “I suppose you have an explanation, right..?” “More of an hypothesis, like yours or Sassie's. I think a pony worked on the show, a pony who somehow retained more memories of Equestria, or remembered them earlier in life...” “What? That doesn't make any sense!”, I argue. “You said it yourself, the show finished airing in 2015, and it was created well before that, but we all changed this month!” And yet I can see in her eyes that I'm still missing something..! “Do you remember the curse, in full..?”, she prompts. “I would rather not to, but yeah, I remember the words themselves...” “What's the second verse?” “Mmh... Something like 'your memories removed, your body confused'..?” At these words, Dusky closes his eyes, ears splayed back, burying his face in Laurence's coat. She puts a protective foreleg around him, and I'm kinda jealous; these words make me anxious too... But anyway: “I'm not sure exactly what it means, I'm not as good at English as you are, and the sentences are weird...” Laurence closes her eye, breathing deeply, preparing herself. “Let me give you a rough translation of the whole thing, then – I'm sure it'll be illuminating: 'For five score, divided by four, your memories removed, your body confused. For your insolence you must pay, cast off to a land far far away. To scatter the six, just the start of my tricks. Your mind shall be weak, your outlooks bleak. Forgetting everything, and living like a fool, you have lost, none shall stop my rule...'” The forest is silent, as if these detestable words had the power to snuff out all life around us, which wouldn't even be that surprising. And I am utterly speechless, my stomach sinking as it all starts to click... “Memories removed, body confused, forgetting everything...”, Laurence goes on, her voice struggling to keep her emotions at bay. “Cast to a land far away, another world, for twenty-five years, right down to the minute... Then the curse just lifted.” “But..!” “Our memories. Our body.”, she reiterates, unrelenting, despite not liking it any more than I do. “It can't—” “We are the cursed.”, she states with terrifying certainty, tears trickling from the corner of her eye. “We're not 'hosting' these ponies, Amber, because technically, we are them... Or what's left of them, really.” She pauses for an instant, mercifully, and while Dusky's looking away, somber, I can only stare numbly into space, as the full magnitude of what her 'hypothesis' would imply is crashing down on me..! If she's right, then... Then how long has Amber been buried somewhere inside of me!? But no, that's not it, that's still not it..! According to what she said, I... I would be Amber!? But– but I'm not her!! She's clearly a foreign influence, something encroaching on my mind just as much as it took over my body, I wouldn't have been forced to actively work at preserving who I am if that weren't the case! The way she says it, it'd almost be like I, Ambre, would be the foreign influence! That's– that's ridiculous! I mean, if that were true, you'd expect that the pony side would feel more natural, that it'd assert itself easily by the feedback from the body, that it'd slowly erode away the human parts, and..! And... Oh. Doubt begins to creep its way into my mind, and Laurence can see it. “... Cursed by Discord twenty-five years ago,” she reiterates, sadly, “sent to Earth to be reborn as humans, without any memory of that past life. You were Amber Spire once, and you,” she adds, looking tenderly at the foal against her, “were Dusky once too, just as... Just as I was Rafale, I guess...” The admission is clearly painful for her, and yet she still pushes herself to continue: “So these pony bodies, they were the ones we were born with in this other life... We didn't just change into them, as much as we changed back into them. Like our being human was only meant to be temporary, part of the curse... That's what the Princess told me. And I'm afraid she's mostly right...” “That's..!”, I try to deny, but the words just don't come..! “Now you know why I didn't just go babbling about this... How do you think I took that particular revelation..?”, she says with a cynical smirk. “But it's just your hypothesis right!?”, I almost plead. “You could be wrong!” “I could. I certainly wish I was... But this 'hypothesis' even has the 'Princess of the Night's Seal of Approval' – I mean, she's the one who explained it all to me. Once more ponies remember and understand Discord's curse in full, I'm sure this will become the general consensus.” “What about Alex and Sassaflash then!? They shouldn't have any language barrier, if the curse's in English! They're the ones who said we're only hosting the ponies!” “Alex knows, actually.”, she reveals to my growing horror. “He knew from the start. As for Sassie... She must have her reasons to prefer her own interpretation to the truth. I understand the appeal, trust me, but that doesn't make her less wrong...” My very last argument defeated, I slump to the ground, mouth agape. So... When Princess Luna said 'back to Equestria', what she meant was back to Equestria..! This... No, this can't be! Was the whole point of that curse to graft a human unto a pony!? I, Ambre, was inflicted on Amber!? Or was I, Amber, brainwashed and forced to believe I was Ambre!? I... I've never been human!? “... So our lives, our families, who we were, everything, it was just, what, some kind of fabrication, of lie..?”, I mumble through my tears. “Of course not...”, Laurence answers softly, gesturing at me to come closer, and I all but jump into her comforting hug..! “The last twenty-five years were part of the ponies' curse, yes, but they were real all the same... I'm not sure the analogy is appropriate, but would you say your life before, uh...” Glancing up at her face, I see she's indicating Dusky with her eye, asking for my permission to talk about my pre-transition life. I answer with a slight nod, hiding my runny muzzle back into her comforting coat right after. “... Would you say that your life before living as a girl was just a lie, too?” I need a moment to gather my thoughts and control my emotions before answering: “Actually... If you had asked me this very question, like, two years ago, I'd have said yes. Wholeheartedly... Because I lied to myself, to everybody, because I wasn't who I was supposed to be... After I debuted my transition it was so tempting to just flush the past twenty-two years away, to forget I ever lived differently... My parents kicking me out certainly helped the sentiment..! But once the pain receded a bit, when I felt like my new life was more or less in order, that in a way I didn't feel as threatened in my identity because once I lived like a boy... It became easier to stop pretending I was born a fully-formed adult woman at twenty-two, to accept my slightly unconventional girlhood... This side of my life isn't a lie, it just a part of who I am, it shaped me and got me where I am today... And, you're right. This is a pretty good analogy.”, I manage to smile, talking having a calming effect on me, and somehow I can feel she's smiling, too. “But... In a way, it was still a prison for Amber, something artificial that only existed because of a curse... Or I don't know, maybe Ambre would have existed anyway, or...” Wait... Ambre and Amber, Amber and Ambre... It could be so much more than a coincidence! Could it have been a memory? A memory of... Of my very first birthname..? How much of my transness could come from my previous life, really? How much of 'me' was Amber all along, just, I don't know, filtered through the human experience, and through a different neurology..? If I stop and think about it, Amber's optimism is something my younger self could easily relate to, as well as her shyness. It's just that I've grown pretty jaded and disillusioned with everything that happened to me... Maybe that's in part why it sounded so childish to me at first? The 'coincidences' are unraveling one after another... Me and Mom knowing each other, being friends... Then leaving, and finding ponies that the real Amb– that I knew, before Discord cursed us... Even as humans, we gravitated towards each others..! But... In that case... “So there's actually no going back..? We're, like, back to being ponies, without any reason to change back into our humans selves once this is over...” And then I suddenly remember who I'm talking to: “Oh Laurence I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I'm sure there's still a way!” “Maybe...”, she mutters without much conviction. “I can only hope that one of the Princesses can perform something akin to what Discord did...” I hug her fiercely. “I'll find a way for you, don't you worry..! You know I'm good at that!” She chuckles, hugging me back. “Yes, I know that...” We stay like this for a moment, just finding comfort in one another, the harsh realities almost forgotten as long as we can focus on each other... Oh, and I suppose Dusky's here, too. “I must say,” Laurence muses, her voice more relaxed, relieved almost, “it feels so good to be open about this with you two... I couldn't stop thinking about it for days on end, it was driving me crazy..! Like, if an individual is really the product of their experiences and memories, and we don't have the memories of these past lives, it would mean we're not truly them, just approximations, or stand-ins? I mean, without continuity of consciousness, can we really be considered to be the same individuals? What would happen if the curse were completely lifted and we gained the memories of the other us? Would we effectively die as individuals, drowned in a sea of poniness, or would it just add memories without affecting our identity, would there still be a difference between us as individuals now, and who we were, and actually how much of us, even as humans, was just them, because except memories, is there any difference—” “Wow, slow down!”, Dusky giggles at her wild rambling. “Sorry... It was hard keeping all this bottled up..!” “You could have told me, you know...”, I can't help but point out. “I was afraid of a complete freak out...”, she admits. “Aw come on, you know I'm tougher than that!” I was expecting a soft, maybe even playful rebuttal, which wouldn't have been inappropriate considering the emotional roller coaster this day has been for me until now, but instead Laurence grows tense, and angry: “Not from you... From me.” What? I pull back from her, puzzled. “Why from you? I mean, I understand the—” “You don't understand!”, she snaps, her sudden vehemence shocking us both. “I... Sorry, Amber, but there's some things... Some things that... That...”, she trails off then falls silent, laying on the ground and looking absolutely miserable... Dusky shifts to snuggle against her chest. “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to...”, he tells her, while casting an annoyed glare at me. Not so fast, you little pest..! “But we're here to listen if you do, Laurence. You've always been willing to listen to me babbling about my issues, it's the least I can do.” She stays still as a statue for almost a minute, until she locks her gaze on me, lone purple eye exuding hurt and rage and sorrow all at once: “I don't just hate this body because it's a pony's, Amber. I hate it because it's hers.” “You mean Rafale..?” “That... That wretched mare deserved to die!!”, she snarls. “A coward and a failure, I'd kill her myself if I had the chance!” I'm almost too afraid to ask... “What did she do..?” “She did nothing. And that's the most horrible thing she could've done..!” Laurence's View As I begin to describe my nightmare, I try to be brief. To only share the gist of it, no more than what I need, just enough to help them understand why I hate Rafale so much. But against my dearest wishes, the scene replays itself in my mind's eye with utter clarity, forever inescapable... I was on the ground, panting. My wings hurt, I was exhausted, my armor felt so heavy. I could barely get back to my hooves, my vision swimming. Yet in front of me, I could still see him, this hideous mismatched chimera. He was laughing. In his clawed hand he held a unicorn guard by the throat. His eyes were half-closed, his horn still smoldering, he was barely moving. I should've gotten up, tried to save him, but I didn't. And in a bright flash, his body started to dissolve. He screamed. And I just watched. I just watched him kill somepony, a pony I'd worked with for years. And I just watched. I watched as other guards came rushing in the corridor, trying futilely to strike down the Spirit of Chaos. He made me watch, as he killed them all, one by one, and I just watched... I failed them. I failed my fellow guards, I failed the Princesses, I failed Equestria. I desecrated my oath to protect, I betrayed my own cutie mark. I was just a horrible failure, and I just kept on watching, as I ambled weakly in the battle-worn castle, the awful screams and cries of ponies resonating between the walls, or coming from outside through the windows I had shattered. I just walked without aim, for how long I could not say – time had become meaningless in this nightmare made real. I watched my friends disappear, and I couldn't do anything about it. Maybe I could've helped coordinate the defense, or the evacuation, anything, but I didn't. I could hear him still, Discord laughed at me, at my uselessness, my broken will, as he continued to kill unabated. Tears flowed down my face, my continuous wailing barely registered in my migraine-racked brain. What could I ever hope to achieve against such an all-powerful being? I lost myself in the anguish and the shame, until I was awoken by the breaking of glass right beside me. A blast of unicorn magic from the gardens below had smashed through one of the surviving windows, barely missing my head. I got closer, numbly. Outside I could hear Discord's perpetual laughter... and a pony's valiant battle cry. This compelled me to focus my eyes, and I saw Amber Spire, a simple Junior rookie without any battle experience, trying to stand up to the chimera. Lazy Amber and her stupid mane... Why was she even fighting, when there was no chance of victory? I thought I taught her better than that, but considering what my experience did for me... She kept sending blasts, uselessly, depleting her meager magic reserves, taunting Discord with each ragged breath... Inevitably, her strength faltered, Discord snatching her up with his claw, like he did for all the others I didn't save... I just watched as she tried to escape – and our eyes met. I saw the terror, the rising pain, the tears, the silent pleading, as her body was starting to dissolve into white light... I snapped. I wanted to die. I should've died, not her! I was the one who deserved it! Please forgive me Eve, you'll have to take care of them..! I couldn't take back my sins, so I would have to take them with me to the pyre!! Roaring in rage, I jumped through the shattered window, charging up the air under my wings despite the excruciating pain, I was ready to strike – only to be effortlessly snatched in mid-air. Discord leered in my face: “Finally! I wondered when you would do something more fun than laying down and crying on the floor! I left you until the return of your dashing Captain to come up with something, and that's all you have for me..? After the first act of your little show I can't help feeling a tad disappointed. So little finesse, really... Tell me then, what made this one so special, to earn such a heartfelt reaction? What did she have that her fifty-three point four fellow ponies didn't? Or was it random chance perhaps? Of course in the end it didn't amount to much, but you already knew that... Anyway, you're the last one here, and there are more important ponies waiting for their turn! So long, lily-liver! For Five Score! Divided by Four..!”' Amber Spire's View Laurence and Dusky hug fiercely, the mare in tears after that harrowing tale... It felt so strange, to hear glimpses of these events through another set of eyes, another perspective. And if confirmed something I've been suspecting for a while now: that was her at the end of my nightmare, that was really her..! Just like for Chard and Crispy, our pony personas were cursed in the same place, just minutes apart... But that's neither here nor there, not when Laurence's still crying her heart out! “I... I see how you could have such a negative view of her,” I begin, “and how using her name or looking like her could—” “It's not just that, Amber..!”, she seethes, growing even more agitated. “I didn't just inherit Rafale's body, but also her cowardice, her weakness, her betrayal! Knowing this is not just some other person, but me! Me who just stood and watched as others were cursed, without doing anything but wallowing in fear! Me who is this awful, despicable, worthless being! And I carry this curse from birth, a curse I'll never be able to escape, and I'm stuck in this horrible body with this horrible name and this horrible past forever! I– I can't Amber, I just can't! And I know I'm just like her, that I'm weak and vile and so pathetic..!” “Don't say that, you're strong and—” “Please don't you say that!”, Laurence shrieks, almost indignant. “We both know it's not true, and it just underscores how much of a failure I can be..!” “You are strong, Laurence.”, I reiterate with absolute conviction. “How I know it? Because despite all the pain and hardships and doubts, you're still standing!” She squints from the ground. “... Well, figuratively. My point still stands, too.” That gets me a well-deserved groan. “You know, I remember her, from my dream. I wasn't sure if it was really her, at first, but I remember, the last thing I saw, Rafale jumping to save me... So, you know, maybe she wasn't so bad, after all?” Not the most cogent argument I know, but to my relief it looks like she's at least considering it. “I would like to believe you, but I can't...”, she mutters sadly. “Well, I'm with Amber on that,” Dusky declares, “so that makes two out of three, we win!” The colt embraces her, and I join in the hug. High time for this pest to prove useful for a change..! “I don't want any of this..!”, Laurence sobs, clinging to us. “I just want to get back to who I was, to my body, forget everything, I don't want anything to do with Rafale or looking like a pony..!” “I understand Laurence,” I tell her as soothingly as I can, “and we'll do everything to make you human again, as soon as possible..! It's Discord who cursed us and put us in this situation, so until we can get to Equestria to kick his ugly flank, we'll just have to make do...” “I guess...”, she sniffs. “And we will stay together all the way!”, Dusky adds, nuzzling at her neck. “We sure will.”, I assure. “And, for all the pain it caused, at least the change brought us together, right..?” My heart soars, seeing that little smile tugging at her lips! “Yes you're right, little sister...”, she whispers amid more hugs and tears. “I'm so happy to have you both, and Séb, and Clem, and Mél... Even stupid Sweetchard... I don't think I could keep up without all of you..!” The three of us hold on to one another for a good long while, forgetting the rest of the world and its curses and sorrows... Laurence's scent seems just a little less tinged by the acridness of stress, revealing more of the dew and crisp wind underneath. Eh, maybe I could even get used to Dusky's metallic hints, someday..! If he learns how to behave, that is. However, as the elating feelings of closeness and friendship subside, I'm left with an all-new quandary... Laurence's 'hypothesis' is still hanging like a sword of Damocles over my head, not only because it will require a lot more soul-searching on my part before I can fully process it, but also because of what this will mean for our community. I've been telling ponies that it'd be best for them, for their inner balance, to deal with the reality of their dual nature, and to not turn their back to the previous twenty-five years. But now I can't help but wounder, did they actually have the right idea, in letting go of Discord's forced humanity..? Was distancing themselves from it an instinctive reaction of their pony selves, their original selves, now finally revealed? How would they react, knowing that they have perfectly valid reasons to despise their time as humans..? Well, I could also see it another way: if I hadn't shown them the importance of not forgetting their human life first, they would've probably been comforted in their rejection of their non-pony past when learning about their true nature, something I still think is not healthy. So... I think I'll stick to this belief; I did do the right thing. But all the same, that leaves us with a big problem to address... “Should we tell them..?”, I whisper. “They will learn about it on their own even if we don't...”, Laurence mutters in answer. “It's inevitable. The only thing we have left is control the 'how', now...” “We should tell Mom and the other leaders first. See how they think we should proceed.” She nods. “But... You do realize the consequences..?” “I think I do... Good thing we really hammered the idea that they should take time to get back in touch with their human side, right..?” “It's not just that...”, she sighs. “This changes everything. Who they are, why they transformed, what they're doing here on this planet, and where they're coming from. From hosts, they'll become refugees. And then there's what the Princess told you... She wants ponies to gather in the US?” “Well er, yes, because... Because they may've found a way to Equestria.” “Really!?”, Dusky starts, though I can't decide if it's from excitement or trepidation. “Equestria... It won't just be some magical far-away land.”, Laurence goes on. “Now it'll be home – not only a place where ponies are the norm, but also where they're supposed to be, the place they've been banished from. Tell me Amber, what would be your take on this? Would you want to go live in Equestria, if Discord's brought down..?” I... I didn't think about that. “To be honest, I... I don't know.”, I admit. “It's a whole other world, Amber's world, not mine, though now technically I'm her, so...” Ugh, I still can't picture her and I being just one single pony, this is gonna give me a headache all over again..! “I can already tell you that I wouldn't want to put a single foot in that place.”, Laurence says. “But what will the others think? They are living isolated in a reservation with bare-bones infrastructure, and with humans wishing them harm lurking around... A world only for ponies, even if it has been under a despot's rule for a quarter century, could have a certain appeal.” “Probably, yes...” Equestria would definitely sound like paradise, at least on paper. This could very well turn into a real exodus! And they're going to count on me to lead them there. ... Buck. Sweetchard's View I've always wondered how tastes could shift so radically from one decade to another. Did the architects and designers really think their creations looked cool when they built them thirty or forty years ago? And how did our idea of what is or isn't aesthetically pleasing change so thoroughly? Like, I'm sure the people who came up with this wallpaper were convinced they were doing a good job, and the people who bought it clearly liked it. So how come that, to my eyes, it would look so irredeemably ugly? Maybe what's kitsch or modern is more informed by our perception of time than by some special quality of the thing itself..? It's still weird to imagine that all the stuff that looks sleek and classy today will inevitably be perceived as awkward and tacky in the future; like, how could something that looks modern stop being modern? But I'll still say something in favor of that old, flowery wallpaper: It's really better at distracting me than a plain white wall could ever hope to be. 'Flowery' is maybe not the right word for describing this disaster, though. Flowers are included in the design, sure, but there's also herbs, leaves, and, for some inscrutable reason, snail shells – all in shades of russet, slate, and plum. There's some variation in hues, though, from age and random stains, breaking the monotony of the repeating pattern. It's enough to sometimes give the illusion of little faces or silhouettes, if I look hard enough. Looking's the only thing I have left right now anyway... I don't like what I see when my eyes are closed, and even less what happens when I sleep. Just looking, and waiting for the day to elapse, alone... Well, not alone, technically. My ear twitches from time to time, when I hear Crispy shifting on the other side of the room. She spent the night here. She hasn't said a word, but I couldn't miss her sugary scent, even through the stench of antiseptics. At first it was comforting, to know she was so close to me. But as my mind settled, I started to remember bits and pieces of the night before... The night before... ... The night before things happened. I remembered Karim calling me... And Crispy telling me... awful things. Not everything, but still... Bits and pieces. Bits and pieces I wish I could forget. I don't know what she's doing here. Is she feeling guilty? Was she the only one willing to keep watch over me? I don't know if I care, at this point... What I want to know is what the others are doing. I've been catching sounds of distant voices and hooves hard at work since sunrise; did they find a solution for the blight? Figures, that they'd just need me to go away to come up with one... I'd like to join them, to help, but... I'm just so tired, and so cold, even with the heavy blanket over me, and... And it hurts..! Moving too much is painful. Thinking too much is painful... I'm lucky to have that ugly wallpaper. Seriously, when was the last time this room has been redecorated? It looks like it came right out of the last century. I've always wondered how tastes could shift so radically from one decade to another. Did the architects and designers really think their creations looked cool when they built them thirty or forty years ago? And how did our idea of what is or isn't aesthetically pleasing change so thoroughly? Like, I'm sure the people who— A vehicle's pulling up in front of the house, I can hear it. One of the old humans? No, I would've heard them leave earlier, this is something else..! I listen closely, trying to tune out the drumming of my own heartbeat and forget the aching of my ribs. The vehicle has parked, and a human got out, walking towards the house. Their knocks at the front door are answered, and... I can't make out all the words, but I feel like I know this voice. Footsteps grow near, until someone enters the room. I freeze, not sure what to do, and not sure I'd be able to escape if I had to..! “Morning doctor.”, Crispy greets the human. “Yeah yeah, morning...”, the man replies curtly. “How is he?” A doctor..? “He's... He's been resting.” “Ate or drank anything?” She doesn't answer. “I told you to force-feed him if necessary! He lost a lot of blood, you want him to waste away or what?” Maybe she does... Even if I can't quite believe it. I know she... She doesn't love me, but she doesn't hate me either, right..? The human gets closer. “Do you feel up to ingest something, big boy?” No... “Hey, I know you're awake and alert, your ears betray you. You could at least show some respect for the man who saved your life...” He... did? I force my stiff neck to twist a little, pointing my left eye towards the man, even if it's still so swollen I can only get it half-open. He's a gaunt brown-haired fellow, with a scraggly mustache and sharp cheekbones, and he doesn't look very happy to be here. “That's better...”, he grumbles. “I've busted my ass trying to keep you from kicking the bucket, I expect you to do your part of the job now! That includes eating and you will take care of that as soon as we're done. Understood?” “Yes...”, I mumble. As long as it rids me quicker of him and his attitude... “Such enthusiasm... All right, I have to examine you, I hope you're decent under that blanket.” The man gets even closer, towering over me, my heart beating so fast it could burst out of my chest! He's leaning in, his hand's reaching for me!! “Hey, calm down big boy, I'm just—” NO!! I lurch away from his hand, trying to crawl out of the bed, but I can't get enough traction with my hindlegs, and I'm entangling myself in this blanket, and— And suddenly somepony grapples me, forelegs clutching my chest from behind, their neck draped over mine, their mane covering my face, and my flaring nostrils are hit by the pony's scent – Crispy's. “Please calm down, Sweetchard!” I struggle, but she holds on. “Calm down, it's okay..!” Unable to see anything... “He's just looking, he's not going to hurt you..!” The warmth of her body against mine... “Just stay calm, and it'll be over soon...” Her scent filling my world... “It's okay... It's okay...” Crispy..! Slowly, my ragged breaths become a little more regular, my heart calms down, my body grows less tense... “Very good Sweetchard...” I can feel things happening to me, pains and light touches and stuff taken out and replaced, but I don't pay attention... “You're doing great, just relax...” Just her, and me, and nothing else... Just her, and me, and nothing else... “That'll do.”, the human says from somewhere, his voice muffled. “It's coming along nicely. A lot more nicely than should be normal, I'd say, but we won't complain. You can stop hugging him to death, now...” Crispy draws back, and even as light-headed as I am, I try to keep contact, to not let her leave me, but I'm too sluggish, and once again I feel cold, and alone... Forcing my eyes open, rolling painfully on my back, I see her sitting close to the trashed bed. My Crispy... Her mane so disheveled right now, her eyes red and puffy, looking so tired..! “Well that was a lot easier when he was asleep!”, the human keeps chattering in the background. “I'll come back tomorrow, you should have enough pills until then. Be sure that he gets something in him, lots of fluid especially, or changing bandages and checking stitches will be for zilch, all right?” “Yes doctor, thank you...”, my mare replies as the human leaves the room at last. 'Back tomorrow'..? No, I don't want to! I– I don't want anything to do with... With..! “Come on Sweetchard, you heard him.”, Crispy startles me, holding a bowl of some kind of purée to me. “I'm sorry, it's... It's cold, but I didn't want to bother you...” I stare at the bowl, its yellow and green content, the cute stripped hooves around it... “Please, you have to eat... I'll get you something else later, but you have to at least eat a little...” The brown-spotted legs, the orange coat, that freckled face with these big blue eyes, and yet... She's not really 'my' mare, is she..? She's never been... Like me, she's... She's just trying to be herself. I know how she acted, what she said, but... I put my shaking hooves over hers. “Crispy...” She stares back. “How... How are we..?” The mare averts her gaze, ears folding back. “I... I don't know...”, she whispers, reluctantly. “You should focus on getting better, for now.” *sigh* She's probably not wrong... I'm not even sure how long I'll be able to stay on my back like this; my neck aches, all my left side's pulsing with pain, and... And the way I can't feel my left hindhoof, I..! “Please Chard, you're hurting me..!” I blink, and only now realize I've been squeezing her hooves against the bowl, almost to the point of breaking it! “Oh shorry!”, I gasp as I seize the bowl between my teeth, letting go of her..! Crispy retreats to the other side of the room, sitting on the cot she must've spent the night on, eyeing me with an expression I'm not sure to get. I hope I'm not scaring her, that... That's really the last thing I need right now. Taking the bowl into my own hooves, I force myself to take a bite of the purée. Like she said, it's cold, and I can tell right away that it hasn't been made with produce grown on the farm, but... It's food, and even if it feels like ash on my tongue, I know I need it. I eat in silence, surprised by my own appetite as I quickly empty the bowl and hunger for more. Crispy's immediately at my side, trading the bowl for a plastic mug of water, and a little white pill. Gulping it all down, Crispy then collects everything, and moves for the door: “I'll fetch more, just rest, okay?” “Thank you... For still being here.”, I tell her honestly. “Least I can do...”, she shrugs with a sad smile, and leaves... I let myself roll back on my right side, shuddering as my left hindhoof doesn't drag the blanket along while my hock does, just like... Just like my hoof wasn't even here anymore, and– and..! Okay Chard, breathe, just breathe, it's... It's nothing I'm sure! Just some sensory loss or something! It'll sort itself out in no time! Some rest, some food, that's all I need! Yeah, I'm sure..! Just as sure as this wallpaper's the ugliest thing in the world... I slowly fall back into the wallpaper zone, pondering trends and kitsch and modern... But this time I can't miss Crispy's absence. What's taking her so long? And what's all this outside..? No more sounds of work, but lots of ponies discussing close by. It can't be lunchtime yet, can it? I wait some more, but no change. What's going on? Rolling on my back again, I turn my eyes towards the window, but the curtains don't let me see anything. I've been feeling a little less pain and a little less cold for the past few minutes, so I kick the blanket away, and try to crawl out of bed. My forelegs are shaking, but once my hooves get in contact with the floor I immediately feel more confident – hooves aren't for hanging in the air, they're meant to be on the ground! Next comes my right hindleg, still strong as it should be! And finally my left, allowing me to leave the bed and— I lose balance, my rump bumping against the bedframe! Wh– what happened!? Oh, oh yes, right, it... It's the sensory loss, that's all! I'm not feeling my hoof, so it must slip easily, of course! I should just, like, avoid putting too much weight on it, right? All the better to let it heal! I shuffle to the window, and part the curtains with my muzzle. Darn it, I can't see much even from here, just that ponies are walking towards the great oak... Whatever it is, it must be important! Determined to not let myself be stopped by a stupid numb hoof, I stumble for the door. It's not fully closed so my muzzle is again quite useful, and I'm on my way unencumbered through the house! As I'm about to reach the front door I suddenly hear a feminine gasp. Glancing to my right, I see the old woman, Jeannette, standing in the living room with a feather duster in her hand, looking at me with a horrified expression: “S– Sweetchard!? You shouldn't be up!” She steps towards me, and I can feel my heart beating faster. “I'm just going to see what they're doing!” “But... Aren't you.. I mean, are you all right..?”, she stammers. “Sore, but I can walk!”, I affirm. “If you're here, could you open the door for me?” I can see she's hesitating, but I won't! “It's okay, I'll get it myself...” “Wait!”, she calls before I'm at the door. “You should... You should at least cover yourself!” “I'm a pony.”, I rebuff. “I don't need to cover myself.” Seizing the handle between my teeth, I pull the door open and get out before the woman can try to delay me even further. Ah..! It feels great to have my hooves against real good earth, instead of that tiled floor! I'd appreciate if the weather was a little warmer, but a little time under the sunlight should help. Gazing at the fields, my eyes grow wide seeing how different they look – the earth seems to have been plowed again, and has been moved to form like a series of steps instead of flat, naturally slopped fields. Does it have something to do with curing the blight? But that'll be for later; right now I turn towards the great oak. Everypony's already there, I even catch sight of Crispy among them, that's where she went! I hobble towards them, though I'm getting tired and light-headed again... Maybe the human was right, I'm not really in condition for walking around..! As I'm getting closer, centimeter by centimeter, ponies start noticing me, and on their faces I see the same expression as on the old woman's. I'm not looking that battered, am I? The ones who saw me whisper among themselves, and it quickly reaches Crispy's ears. The mare whirls on her hooves and canters to me, even more aghast than the others: “What are you doing here!? You should be in bed!” “Well I... You weren't comin' back, so...”, I mumble, my forces leaving me far quicker than I anticipated... Crispy helps me getting down on the ground, but I'm surprised to find a blanket under me, and another laid over my body soon after. Where did that come from..? “Thank you Jeannette.”, I hear my mare say to someone. “Sorry for the trouble, he's the stubborn sort...” “It's all right.”, the old woman answers from somewhere behind me. “I've the same one at home...” “You can't help yourself, huh..?”, Crispy grumbles as she sits next to me. “I'm sorry I got distracted, but they said they had a very important announcement...” Well, all the more reasons for me to be here, then..! I look around languidly, at the friends who either gawk at me or avoid me altogether, and... Wait, that's strange; usually we stay on our own, we don't mix with unicorns and pegasi, but right now everypony's all over... What the heck happened? Maybe the fourth pony stepping under the oak alongside Fenchone, Violette and Keensight is responsible – it's that weird mule stallion, don't remember his name... “Thanks for your patience, everybody.”, he tells us all in his deep, striking voice. “I know that these past few days have been hectic, to say the least. We've all been put through the wringer, as individuals and as a community. Some of us... Some of us still bear the marks of these difficult times...”, he says, and for an instant his gaze meets mine. He nods to me, then goes on: “Therefore, we weren't sure if we should convene today, or wait a couple days to give you all the chance to take a break... But in the end, we decided that we could not keep this to ourselves, and that you all deserved to know.” Well that didn't sound ominous at all... And I'm probably not the only one thinking that, 'cause the stallion's quick to give reassurances: “I assure you, while this is important, it is not bad news either. So, with no further ado, I'll leave you with Amber Spire...” Amber..? What would Amber have to say that'd be so important? Even from where I am I can see the young unicorn's really anxious, keeping close to Rafale and Luisard as they escort her to the front of the crowd. “So, er, hi everybody...”, she begins, awkward as ever. “For a while now we've known that Equestria, the home of the ponies, must really exist somewhere... That our dreams, our nightmares, are the memories of our alter egos, ponies that lived in Equestria, until they were cursed. Now we can confirm that there could be ponies like us all over the world... It's not just us, we're a far larger community, scattered on this planet! And not only that, but at least two of the pony Princesses are here, too.” What? Princesses, as in those of the show? Celestia, Luna, Cadance..? The declaration doesn't really have a dramatic effect on most ponies. It's true that the others aren't as familiar with the show as I am, or as Marnepâle is, I remember now: “Which Princesses?”, the earth mare asks. “Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight.”, Amber answers. “And how do you know that?”, Golden Gale questions, the pegasus sounding quite dubious. “Well... I met with Princess Luna last night,” the young unicorn reveals to shocked gasps – mine included, “and she told me Princess Twilight is currently in the US.” “There's a real Princess on the farm!?”, Fleur de Bruyère blurts out. “Not exactly... She contacted me through my dreams, it's a power she has. Actually, she... She also contacted Laurence here, some time ago.” ... What!? How much is 'some time ago'!? She knew about something so important, and she just kept it to herself!? “And... That's not all.”, Amber continues. “The Princess told us two other things. One concerns our past, and the other our future. Though we can't really dissociate the two, now...” She pauses, like she's not sure how to proceed. Past, future... Where is she going with this? “What I'm going to tell you... It may change your life. It will change your life, and maybe, after hearing me, you could feel lost, or afraid... But it's going to be all right! We're all together in this, and we'll find a way!” Her voice grows more confident, and she declares to all the ponies around her: “I will find a way, for all of us, I promise!”