“Y-your Majesty!”
His hooves brushed against the saturated grass. He felt the water in the muddy ground as every individual grass blade leaned to its sides, but why? It didn’t seem to have rained from what he has seen. A small commotion shook the… air? He looked up in curiosity, and his eyes promptly widened at the torrent of water that came crashing down upon his body. Unfortunately, that stung his eyes badly, forcing a loud response from him.
A shaggy hoof shot up to his stinging rose colored eyeballs. “Yee-ouch! By the King’s beard!” His scream pierced the sky and spilled out his mouth before he could stop it. Well, in the good side of things, at least he got the shower his physical body so desperately needed, without him knowing it needed it. Funny how things go.
Sadly, his clumsy flank didn’t notice that he was in a deposit. He recklessly shook his fuzzy body in a desperation of ridding himself of the liquid. As well as trembling in a fit of rage. “Forgive Us, but please bite thine foul forked tongue.” He sniped angerly.
An unfamiliar voice called out, presumably to him. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?” The voice came not from afar, so he can hear and make out the words… however strange they were.
His continued to shake his body like a wet dog, flinging all the dreaded water off himself, and stepped out the puddle that pooled beneath him, trotting toward the general direction the foreign voice originated. His eyes still stung, but not as bad as before. He blinked at the sound of steps nearing him. “Hey, you ok there, big guy?” Another voice? And who was this ‘Big Guy’? What a terrible name. “Hey. Hello? Helllooo? You sleepin’?” He felt air molecules fly in front of his face left and right. Ah, a hoof was waving in front of his face. That’s what it is.
”Sharp! Don’t be rude!” The first voice, he guessed she is a female, yelled at the second, male, voice.
The male suddenly yelped in pain. ”Ow! Okay! I’m sorry. You don’t need to hit me, jeez…” He didn’t need to imagine the male soothing a sore spot. His experience with his wife is embarrassingly strong. More than he’d care to admit, if he was honest with himself. He shook his hanging head and lifted it, standing tall. He needed to stop slouching lazily, his wife kept telling him it was not good for his physical body’s neck or back. “It was a force of habit!”, he would always tell her beautiful, worrying face.
”Are you ok—,” She croaked all of a sudden, the next word leaving her mouth oddly strained, “—ssssiiirrr..?” He can easily hear her squirm. She squeaked in alarm.
“…Woah. What a chad…” Awe outlined the males voice, but why? What is a ‘chad’? So many questions raced through his thoughts and built up in his mind. He dismissed them, there were more immediate things to address. He blinked the blur out his eyes and looked around. He didn’t see the male or female. Confused, he ruffled his wings, spreading them out fully and slowly furled them to the sides of his large fluffy barrel.
“... Uhh…”
Following the quiet mumble, he looked down… and down. He realized, he towered the Kirin by four feet and a few inches. Again, he blinked. Oh no! They were speechless because they were intimidated! How could he? “Oh, by the Sun! We apologize if We frightened thou to any degree.” Quickly, he got to his knees as he spoke and laid down in front of them. Even then, he was still a few inches above them, but hopefully, he reasoned, that this would deduce any fright they may have of him now.
The male Kirin was in front of him, gasping at his figure entirely. Behind his amazed friend was the female Kirin. Obvious concern painted her face and was left there, plastered on her visage for all to see. She opened her mouth.
Her voice shuck in fear, “Y-your Majesty!” and she stuttered terribly. Was she scared of him? The male Kirin did not fair too well when the female uttered the word ‘majesty’ in such dismay. It did not make him any feel better, sadly. “No need to apologize!” She said, chuckling nervously. Starting to bow, she continues. “If anything we’re sorry for how rude and informal my friend and I acted in your presence. Isn’t that right, Stone?” When she addressed her friend with hidden venom in her voice, the one which he now knows now is called Stone, she smacked him in the cranium for not bowing.
The male Kirin paused in his bout of terror and squinted in realization. “Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah- er… Yes, your Majesty. We are, uhm, terribly sorry.” He bowed as he was forced to and spoke with shaky uncertainty.
Silence befell upon them, and he only felt… sad. He cleared his throat, gaining the attention to the awkward Kirin.
He analyzed them with his heavy raccoon eyes. He immediately noticed that the male Kirin didn’t have any impressive muscular features. He would have known subconsciously either way, as it was an Alicorn's normal instinct to size up to others. Discreetly, of course; it’s purpose was for safety… He was ranting again. Anyway, the Kirin’s dirty blond colored mane spilled and curled at the sides of his face. His long tail was the same. The male… Stone, stood just short of the female, albeit compared to Stone he was a giant, even if he lied down, so that may be biased. His fur was a dark virescent with a lighter shade that was his scales. The mistress— he didn’t know her name yet— was a bit taller than Stone. Just like Stone, her mane curled out the sides of her face. It was a yellow that was the least vibrant shade. Her fur was a navy blue, while her scales were a light blue, almost like a sapphire. Jutting out their foreheads was a large, red horn. He looked at their eyes individually, paused, and eventually he asked them, “What… art thy names?”
The female Kirin’s ears perked up. “Oh, how wrong of us! My name is River Side and this is my friend, Sharp Stone. We live here.”
Stone rolled his green eyes. “Well duh, of course we live h— Ow!” River hit Stone again at his unwanted information.
Innocently, River turned to him. “What’s your name, your Highness? If you don’t mind me, um, asking.”
He chuckled joyously at Stone’s expense. “Thee humor me, kirin! Thou remind Us of Ourselves.” He slowly raised himself. Standing tall, he raised his head toward the bright ball of gas in the sky and placed a shaggy hoof on his chest. He recited the short version of his introduction like the many countless times he has done before.
“We are Lord Craig McCracken, the rightful King of Equestria. T’is a pleasure to meeteth thine acquaintance, Sirrah Stone and Mistress Side.”
He glanced downwards with a smirk. To say that Craig’s new acquaintances were shell shocked would be an understatement. River’s right eye twitched ever so slightly.
“…Wait, am I missing something? Didn’t Equestria already have a king?” Stone asked. “Or am I mistaking that with the Crystal Empire story thingy?” River just nodded her head while Craig tilted his own to the side like a puzzled hound. The Crystal Empire gained a king? He must meet this fellow king, if he is still alive of course. “Woah… Just, woah…” The green Kirin looked up at Craig. “Where’d you come from, your maj—?”
“Lord.” Craig simply said, cutting off Stone’s very reasonable question.
“What?”
He repeated, “Lord.” his voice flat.
“… I don’t—? Gah!” Stone was shoved aside by River.
“I have a quick question, ah, my Lord.” Craig smiled in satisfaction. “Where did you come from? And why are you here?”
”Hey! That was my question!”
Craig chucked. It felt like he was constantly being tickled in the presence of the Kirin. “Mistress Side, thou hath asketh Us two of thine questions.” River laughed nervously in choppy cuts. Her laughter flicked Craig’s ears, telling him of her uncomfortableness. A moment after he lowered his head and slacked his neck he answered. “We were awoken and… didst escape a cave we were isolated within farth'r south.” More like ‘absolutely annihilated’, but alright.
“You were stuck in a cave? That’s odd. There isn't many caves around here.” Said River, starting to pace. Stone blinked.
Craig turned to Stone and walked beside him. “While We would like to feed thy curiosity, We wilt feed Ourself, firstly.” He said, watching River gasp.
“Right, you must be hungry! Here, follow me, my Lord. Lucky you, we’re holding a small brunch today!” She picked up her trot, leading Craig and Stone toward the large hut many yards ahead of them.
Craig always enjoyed the crazy and loud, but this… He could nearly smell the harmony! The King’s eyes shifted their gaze from blue chatterbox to the Kirin next to him. He hummed thoughtfully.
“Sharp Stone.”
“Yeah..?” He trailed off. “Uh, I mean… Yes, my Lord?”
Craig stopped, looking at the tiny little village and admiring it’s natural beauty. Glancing for a moment at the sky and bright sun, it’s powerful grip tugged at his magic. It was familiar. It was his eldest child’s magic. He didn’t expect her to have any control over it. Though it called him for comfort and safety, she sadly does not know about his awakening yet. Arugh, he was rambling again. He would like to know about this fellow king. “Thou spoketh of the Crystal Empire… ruled by a king.” The fur in his neck stood to attention. It was almost a question.
”Oh! It was my favorite story as a kid!” …Story? “Our Elder tells us a story of an empire made of crystal that everykin is told when they're young. Think of it as a bedtime story of sorts. It is said that a thousand years ago, the Crystal Empire stood in the middle of the harsh northern winter lands, ruled by the Crystal Princess and protected by a shield that surrounded it. It’s source was a mythical relic called the Crystal Heart that held all the love of the citizens that lived within the empire and used it as it’s power.” Craig’s ears painfully ringed when they flattened without his say-so, but he kept on listening the words that easily slithered out the green Kirin’s mouth.
“One day however, a beast as black as his heart appeared from the dark coldness of the raging blizzard outside the empire and broke in. He was soon the self proclaimed King of the Empire when he had slain the Crystal Princess in battle for the throne. He enslaved everypony and forced them go to war with Equestria. The war ended as quickly as it started because of the difference in ratio of Royal Guards to Crystal Warriors. After the war was won by Equestria, the King was weakened. Princess Celestia took advantage of that and banished the Dark King into the deepest… ice? Yeah, something like that; I always forget the ending.”
Craig, the King of Equestria, could not believe what he was hearing.
“But it doesn’t end there!” Craig almost jumped in fright. Stone continued, engrossed into the story and not noticing Craig’s horrified expression etched onto his face. “The Dark King placed a curse onto the Crystal Empire. When he was banished, it too was banished. He and it was gone, never to be heard of again.” Sharp happily chirped. “I love that legend, and I'd love to on an adventure! Some day I’d love to find the Crystal Empire in those snowy lands!” Craig almost collapsed at how lightheaded he was as he silently gasped for breath.
“Always dreaming, aren't-cha, Sharp?” Said an eavesdropping Kirin selling string at a nearby stand.
“You better believe it, Silly String!”
Ahead of them both, River Side groaned in annoyance.
This was bad.
Very, very bad.
Much of what he knew was taught by his wife, bless her beautiful soul. If this moment was any time to repay her, like the many other countless times, Craig would take every opportunity to do so. Whenever he needed her the most, her angelic voice sang in his head.
“Dost not be afraid, dearest, 'twill cometh togeth'r as an oeuvre at when thee reach the end of thy terrible day. Thou art stronger than what thou see thyself as.”
His sight granted him a wonderful view of food. His raccoon eyes shined in excitement as he anticipated the delicious taste that would calm his desire for a large meal. He sat at the end of the long wooden table as it stood in the middle of the event. The Brunch.
After asking about this event, Craig learned that this was an important tradition for the community. It was held exactly every six months and denoted adoration for their Elders and Leader.
A cry rang out in joyful celebration. “Cheers!”
Every Kirin lifted their forelegs up into the air, their forelocks waving in the sudden motion. Caught in the fun, Craig’s chest fluttered in the thrill as he exclaimed a response. A roaring chorus was sang back with an equally roaring passion.
“Cheers!”
An Elder— guessed Craig— raised a shimmering mug above the loud crowd. “My wonderful Kirin!” The presumed Elder started. “It is with great pleasure that I, Elder Grey Beard, begin our traditional brunch!” The Elder’s fur aged through the years, and successfully matched his wise mind. Craig chuckled under the deafening ruckus. The Elder is wise in both mind and body, although the name wasn’t very creative it did sound well. His wife would agree with him, claiming that she can appreciate such a terrible joke.
Elder Grey Beard paused in remembrance. Lowering the mug on the table’s other end, opposite of Craig, Grey announced, “Before we begin, I would like to mention we have an interesting and phenomenal guest that you may have already noticed.” He turned to the cocoa-colored, blushing male Alicorn sitting across from him. Grey continued, “I present to you, for the first time, Craig McCracken! A male Alicorn!”
Shyly, Craig raised a shaggy hoof and waved halfheartedly. “Greetings!” Thankfully, his voice didn’t shake.