Chapter Six
Beginnings and Endings
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In a flash of bravery, Scootaloo decided to keep his new suit on when he arrived in Ponyville. It had felt like a good idea on the train, but as soon as other ponies could see him, he started questioning if he was really ready for this.
Ponies were looking at him. Ponies were looking, and Scootaloo had no idea what they were thinking. Scootaloo had barely made it into the station, and ponies were already staring.
“Hey, relax.” Amber put a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder. Their train to Canterlot left soon, so they couldn’t go into town with Scootaloo, but they had a little while to say a proper goodbye at the station. “Promise nopony’s gonna come after you with pitchforks.”
“Yeah…”
“Just remember to breathe, and try to keep – hey, is that Rainbow Dash?”
“What!?” Scootaloo’s head jerked in the direction Amber was looking. Sure enough, Rainbow was flying towards them.
“Relax, you know Rainbow’s cool.”
Scootaloo nodded, but couldn’t keep the lump from his throat as Rainbow landed in front of him. This was it, it was time to find out if Rainbow was really as okay with Scootaloo as she said she was.
“Woah, looking good, Squirt!” Rainbow held out her hoof to bump Scootaloo’s. Scootaloo just blinked. “Come on, dude, don’t leave me hanging.”
A smile slowly crept across Scootaloo’s face and his jelly legs cooperated enough to bump hoofs with Rainbow.
Amber nudged him. “Told you. Everything’s fine, Scoots.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, feeling a little embarrassed for being so worried about Rainbow.
“Everyone’s at your house,” Rainbow explained. “Holiday and Lofty invited us there to wait for you. What do you say we head over, and you can tell me all about Filly along the way?”
“Alright.” Before leaving, Scootaloo turned to Amber. “Thanks again for today, it was great!”
Amber grinned. “No problem. I had a blast too, you know.”
The two of them exchanged a quick hug, then Amber waved them off as Scootaloo and Rainbow went into town.
It wasn’t that ponies weren’t still looking at Scootaloo as they walked through town, but it wasn’t as bad. At worst, they looked curious, but not hostile. And besides, he was with Rainbow, and what she thought mattered a lot more than what anypony else did.
As they walked, Scootaloo told her about his day. He told her about Fox Glove and being introduced as a stallion for the first time, he told her about getting the suit and about Dazzle, he told her about the manecut, the tea bar, everything.
Rainbow was enthusiastic in her response, almost as much as if she had been the one who just had the most amazing day ever. For all the awkwardness she put Scootaloo through when she was trying to figure out how he felt, she was more than making up for it with how supportive she was now.
With Rainbow keeping Scootaloo company and being a willing ear for him to gush about his day to, the trip to Scootaloo’s house seemed to fly by. Before long, Scootaloo even stopped noticing any other ponies.
When they reached the house, Scootaloo reached to open the door, but he stopped short. Seeing what was on his mind immediately, Rainbow put her hoof on his. “Hey, they’re all here to show you how much they support you. It’s gonna be awesome.”
Scootaloo took a breath and smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”
He pushed the door open and walked inside. Within moments, he was surrounded by friends and family, all talking at once.
“Woah, nice suit!”
“What was Filly like?”
“Is that a new manecut?”
“Did you get enough to eat?”
“One at a time,” Scootaloo said. He walked through the crowd and took a seat, and he was immediately flanked by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
“I knew a suit was a good idea!” Apple Bloom said.
“Heh, yeah.” Scootaloo looked over his new suit. “Fits a lot better than Big Mac’s though.”
Apple Bloom sheepishly scratched at her neck. “Yeah…”
“And you got a new manecut to go with it!” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “Looking good, Scoots!”
“Thanks! You don’t think it’s too short?”
“Nah, it looks good,” Apple Bloom said. “You’re definitely looking like a stallion now.”
Auntie Lofty managed to squeeze past Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “So I’m guessing today helped you figure some things out then?”
Scootaloo nodded. “I… I’m still not completely sure, but…”
“That’s okay,” Aunt Holiday said. Scootaloo could barely see her head poking through the rest of the crowd. “You can take your time to figure it out.”
“Yeah, I know.” Scootaloo smiled and caught sight of his reflection in a window. “But I do want to try this out. I think I’m ready to, you know, try being more open around Ponyville too.”
“That’s great, Scoots!” Rainbow said. She was hovering so that even though she was behind the others, she was clearly visible. “And you know we’re here for you if we can help.”
“Yeah,” Spike said. He didn’t do anything to stand out from the others, but he didn’t have to. At sixteen, Spike was already taller than a pony, so he stood out above all the others just as much as Rainbow did.
Scootaloo searched his face for the answers that his one-word response hadn’t offered. What did he think of Scootaloo’s new appearance? On that note, what did he think of Scootaloo himself? He had more reason than the others to be against this change.
But Spike just wore his usual encouraging smile. Maybe Scootaloo was just overthinking things after all.
Apple Bloom seemed to take note that the two of them were staring at each other. She turned to Spike with a sly grin. “So Spike, whatchu think of your coltfriend?”
Spike blushed. “Oh, you know… I just want Scootaloo to be happy.”
It would have been better if Apple Bloom hadn’t drawn attention to the fact that Scootaloo was now Spike’s coltfriend, but since it was already brought out… “You’re not, like… weirded out or anything, are you?”
Spike shifted his position as all eyes fell on him. “Scoots, I just… I want you to be happy.”
That was the same thing he just said. Scootaloo frowned. “Spike…?”
“Hey,” Rainbow Dash said awkwardly while an overly big grin spread across her face. “I bet Scootaloo’s super tired from his big day. Maybe, uh, maybe we should get going?”
“Spike,” Scootaloo said with a frown. “Just… tell me whatever it is.”
Spike looked around in a panic, until his eyes eventually settled on the floor. “Let’s, uhm, go for a walk.”
That was bad. Scootaloo already knew what was coming. There was only one reason Spike would want to talk to him in private.
But he went along with it. What else was he going to do? Do this in front of everyone else? No, better to handle it in private.
So he just nodded and led them outside. No one said anything as they left – they all had to know what was happening just as well as Scootaloo did.
They only got as far as the back yard when Scootaloo stopped. He sighed and wouldn’t look at Spike. “So… you want to break up, huh?”
“I… I don’t want to,” Spike said, as if that was supposed to make it easier to take. “But… I’ve been thinking about it ever since you first came out to me, and…”
“And what?” Scootaloo’s voice came out much harsher than he intended.
Spike sighed and kept his voice soft. “I’m not gay, Scoots. I’m not attracted to stallions. The more you transition into something that makes you happy, the less… You know.”
“No, I don’t.” Scootaloo gritted his teeth and wheeled around to look at Spike. “Because you said you liked me, that you wanted to give us a chance because no matter what, I’m still me!”
“I know.” Why did Spike have to sound so damn hurt? Why couldn’t he just be a dick about things? “And I’m sorry. I just thought, you know… what if I had said I wasn’t okay with it when you first brought it up?”
“Then I could’ve done something different! I could’ve helped you figure things out, I could’ve –”
“You could’ve kept yourself from doing something you need to do to be happy,” Spike answered. He took a step towards Scootaloo. “I meant it when I said I support you and want you to be happy. Even if that means you becoming someone I can’t be with.”
“Shut up!” Scootaloo clenched his eyes shut. “Stop trying to be the good guy! You knew all along that this wouldn’t work, and you didn’t say anything!”
Spike looked away. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
Scootaloo didn’t say anything. There was nothing left to say. After what had felt like a perfect day, the best coltfriend he ever had was breaking up with him.
“Scootaloo…”
“Just go away!” Scootaloo barked. He could feel tears forming, and that was the last thing he wanted.
“I… I’m sorry,” Spike said, sounding as hurt as Scootaloo felt. “I’m still here for –”
“Go! I don’t want to talk to you!”
Spike sighed. And then took a few steps away. “If you change your mind, come find me.”
Scootaloo was sure he wouldn’t. He waited as Spike left, then walked back to the house. He wasn’t looking forward to what was waiting inside, but there was no way around it.
As expected, everyone inside had worried looks on as Scootaloo entered the living room. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were, as usual, the first to his side.
“How’d it go?” Sweetie Belle asked.
Scootaloo sighed. “Well, I’m sure you know. I came back by myself.”
“I’m so sorry,” Apple Bloom said. “If I didn’t say anything…”
Scootaloo shook his head. “If this didn’t happen now, it would’ve still happened later.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Holiday asked.
Scootaloo shook his head again. “No, I think… I just want to lie down. I’m… really tired.”
No one tried to stop him as he walked to his room. He imagined the others would leave soon, no doubt the whole scene had become too awkward for anyone to want to hang around.
Whatever, they could do what they wanted. Scootaloo’s only concern was flopping face first on his bed and yelling into his pillow.
It wasn’t fair! Scootaloo didn’t ask for this! Spike was the best coltfriend he’d ever had, the two of them got along so well. And even though he didn’t do anything wrong, now it was all over.
Scootaloo punched his pillow. Then, because he had nothing else to do, he punched it again. Then he collapsed on his back and just stared at his ceiling.
It wasn’t fair. That’s the only thing he could think about the whole situation. It just wasn’t fair.
Scootaloo wasn’t sure how long he lay there, with just that one thought running through his head. Eventually, there was a knock on the door and Lofty’s voice called through. “Scootaloo?”
It wasn’t surprising that she wanted to talk, but there wasn’t anything Scootaloo wanted to say.
Holiday was the next to speak. It also wasn’t surprising that they were both there. “Will you open the door? We just want to talk.”
“Come on, Squirt,” Rainbow said. That was more surprising. Why was she still here? “Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom left, it’s just us.”
Scootaloo still didn’t answer. He didn’t have anything he wanted to say.
“Well… we’re here if you want to talk,” Holiday said.
Scootaloo just turned his back to the door. Maybe now they’d leave him alone.
Although Scootaloo hadn’t meant to go to sleep, he found himself waking up all the same. He blinked around his room, noticing how much darker it was. The sun had set, and the only light was moonlight from the window and a light coming in from under his door.
He rose and put a hoof to his head, which hurt. He probably needed to eat something, considering he hadn’t had anything since lunch in Fillydelphia. But not before he pulled off the tuxedo that he’d managed to fall asleep in.
Although he still wasn’t really ready to speak with anyone, he still got up and opened his door. Maybe he’d be lucky and his aunts would already be asleep.
But as Scootaloo made his way through the house, he quickly learned he would have no such luck. Both Holiday and Lofty were sitting in the living room, and they stared at Scootaloo, none of them seeming to know what to say.
It was Lofty that spoke first. “You hungry?”
It wasn’t the question Scootaloo had expected, but he was glad it was the question that was asked. “Uhm, yeah…”
Holiday got up and walked to the kitchen while Lofty remained seated. She offered Scootaloo a comforting smile, but she didn’t say anything to pry into what had happened.
“How about some grilled cheese and soup?” Holiday asked.
“That sounds good,” Scootaloo said. He knew the uncomfortable questions were coming, and part of him wished they would just get it over with. But then, grilled cheese sounded too good to question right about now.
While Holiday worked on the food, Lofty walked over to Scootaloo and placed a wing on him. “Feel any better after your nap?”
“Not really…”
Lofty nodded. “You will, in time.”
Right when Scootaloo expected questions, she let go of him and walked into the kitchen to help with dinner. Lofty loved baking, but she wasn’t much of a cook, so for her ‘helping’ meant she cut the grilled cheese in half and poured Scootaloo a glass of milk to go with his food.
Holiday finished up, placing a bowl of tomato soup in front of Scootaloo as he started on his sandwich. It was simple, but nice. Comfort food, he supposed. And although he expected questions, he was allowed to eat in peace.
He almost finished before it got to be too much for him. “Aren’t you going to ask about Spike?”
Lofty looked to Holiday, who smiled. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Well, no…”
“Then no, we’re not going to ask.”
“Besides,” Lofty said, “it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out what happened. Anything beyond that is your business if you want to talk about it.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Thanks.”
The meal helped, and at least his head stopped hurting as he ate. Afterwards, his aunts asked if he wanted to play a game, but he didn’t really feel up to it, so he just returned to his room.
He heard a familiar voice coming from it before he even opened the door. He quirked his head to the side, wondering what Rainbow was doing in his room.
When he opened the door, there was no one in sight. But Rainbow’s voice continued, coming from beside his bed. “Rainbow to Scootaloo. You there?”
Scootaloo collapsed on his bed and picked up the walkie talkie. He frowned, wondering if Rainbow was on the same page as his aunts about not asking any questions.
Well, he’d find out soon enough. Might as well get it over with. He pressed the button on the box and replied. “Scootaloo to Rainbow. I read you.”
“Finally, I’ve been trying to reach you on this thing for like ten minutes.”
“I was eating dinner. What’s up?”
“Oh, I just wanted to know if you want me to kick Spike’s butt for you.”
Scootaloo smiled a little. He knew Rainbow was joking; even aside from the fact that she wouldn’t pick a fight with a teenager, Spike was too close to Rainbow and her friends for anything more than a strong talking to.
“Not necessary,” Scootaloo said.
“So… are you two still cool at least?”
Scootaloo took a moment to respond. “I don’t really know. He said to come talk to him if I wanted to.”
“Do you want to?”
Another moment’s pause.
“You know, I don’t want to pry or anything, but… do you really want to lose a friend on top of everything else?”
Scootaloo frowned. “No.”
“Spike’s a good guy. You don’t have to run out and talk to him now or anything, but you know.”
“Yeah, I know, okay?” Scootaloo barked into the walkie talkie. It wasn’t fair to take out his frustration on Rainbow, but he didn’t care. Nothing else was fair anyway, why should he be? “I know it’s uncool of me to be mad at him, I know he also lost his marefriend and it’s not really his fault, I know all of that!”
It took a moment for Rainbow to reply. Maybe she wasn’t sure how to respond, maybe she was just waiting to make sure Scootaloo was done. Either way, it gave Scootaloo enough time to feel guilty for snapping at her.
When she did answer, Rainbow’s voice was soft. “I wasn’t going to say any of that. I was just saying, you know, Spike’s been a good friend for a lot longer than he’s been your coltfriend.”
Scootaloo just groaned without pressing the button.
“But you know, if those thoughts are in your head… You have to think they’re there for a reason.”
Scootaloo sighed and pressed the button so Rainbow could hear. “Do you think it was wrong of me to tell him to leave?”
“I… don’t know. I think sometimes things are more than right and wrong. You were hurt and you wanted to be alone, there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe you handled it okay, maybe you didn’t, but either way, I don’t think Spike blames you.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” Scootaloo said with a frown. Although he shouldn’t have snapped at Rainbow, saying it out loud made him realize how unfair this was for Spike too. “I should talk to him, huh?”
“That’s up to you, Squirt. But if it were me? I’d want to make sure there was no hard feelings.”
With one more resigned sigh, Scootaloo got out of bed. “Fine. I’m going.”
“Whoa, right now?”
“Might as well get it over with. It’s not gonna be any easier if I wait, you know?”
“Alright. I think you’re making the right call here, Squirt.”
“Yeah yeah. Thanks for the talk, Rainbow.”
“Any time! Just let me know if you need more of my awesome advice again.”
Scootaloo chuckled. “Will do. Scootaloo out.”
“Good luck! Rainbow out.”
Scootaloo replaced the walkie-talkie on his bedside table then walked out of the room. He stopped to tell his aunts where he’d be, and they each gave him a similar response to Rainbow Dash.
“Glad to hear it, Scoots,” Lofty said.
“We’re proud of you for being so big about this,” Holiday added.
Scootaloo rolled his eyes, and assured them he’d be back before it was too late. Then he went into the garage, grabbed his scooter, and dashed into the night.
He wasn’t the only one. As soon as he was outside, Rainbow was flying beside him. “Know what you’re gonna say yet?”
“Rainbow? What are you doing here?” As soon as he asked, Scootaloo realized it was a dumb question. The walkie-talkies had limited range, so of course Rainbow would’ve needed to be close by.
“I was just napping in that cloud up there before I called you.”
Scootaloo smiled. He didn’t need to ask to know that Rainbow had been napping there for a reason. “Thanks, Dash.”
“No problem. But seriously, wanna work on what you’ll say to him?”
Scootaloo thought for a moment as he took a turn. “Nah, I think I’ll be fine. This is Spike we’re talking about. What’s he gonna do? Yell at me?” Scootaloo sincerely hoped Spike wouldn’t yell at him.
Rainbow just laughed. “Yeah, you’re right.” She was quiet for a moment before she added, “And you know, no matter what, it’ll be okay. And, you know, I’m always here for you if you need me.”
Scootaloo smiled. “Thanks. You don’t need to worry about me, though. I’m tough, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Having Rainbow with him helped keep Scootaloo from worrying too much as he made his way to the castle. Every time his mind strayed too close to what was about to happen and how Spike would react to seeing him, Rainbow would say something to pull him out of his thoughts.
That only lasted until they reached the castle, of course. Once they were before it, it was up to Scootaloo to make the next step on his own.
But before that, Rainbow landed beside him and draped her wing across his back. “Hey, everything’s gonna be okay.”
Scootaloo nodded. She was just repeating the same thing she had said before, but he knew how hard it was for her to know what to say in situations like this. Besides, it was just what Scootaloo needed to hear.
“You ready?” Rainbow asked.
Scootaloo was anything but. Still, he nodded all the same. “Yeah. I got this.”
“Yeah, you do. Let me know how things go.” Rainbow flew into the air, first just hovering a bit above the ground so she could wave Scootaloo off, then flying into the night.
With one more deep breath, Scootaloo knocked on the door.
The problem with the castle was that it was particularly large, and all the bedrooms were upstairs. Scootaloo waited, hoping someone would come to the door, but no one did. After a few minutes of nerve-wracked waiting, Scootaloo pressed a button near the door.
A bell chime sounded from within the castle. It was unconventional to have a doorbell in a castle, but Twilight had grown fed up with how impractical knocking was for guests, so Sunset installed one for them. It was effective, but Scootaloo always felt guilty for using it since it sounded through the whole castle.
Still, at least it got someone’s attention. But unfortunately, that someone wasn’t Spike. Instead, his dad answered the door. “Hello, Scootaloo.”
It was obvious that Night Light was surprised to see Scootaloo. That brought forth a possibility that Scootaloo hadn’t counted on – Spike may not be the type to yell at Scootaloo for how he reacted, but what about his parents?
There was only one way to find out. Scootaloo put on an awkward smile and asked, “Is Spike home?”
Night Light stepped aside. “He’s up in his room. Have to say, we weren’t expecting to see you so soon.”
Scootaloo knew that could only be for one reason, but she couldn’t help but ask. “So… did he tell you about what happened today?”
“He did,” Night Light said simply, giving no indication what he thought of it. Their whole family were well-known supporters of queer rights, so it wasn’t like Scootaloo worried about that. But then, this time it affected one of their own…
But if he had any ill feelings towards Scootaloo, he kept them to himself. He simply stood aside and let Scootaloo walk into their household.
Scootaloo did so with his head hung low, afraid to look at Night Light in the eyes. He took a few steps before Night Light’s voice stopped him. “Scootaloo?”
Scootaloo winced. “Yeah?”
“He’s not angry with you, you know.”
Scootaloo blinked and looked up at Night Light. “He’s not?”
Night Light smiled. “To tell you the truth, he was afraid you were the one angry at him. He kept asking us if he did the right thing.”
That was just like Spike. Most teenagers would hate to talk to their parents about their first break up, but not Spike. He probably told them everything as soon as it happened, eager to get their advice.
He was just… just so good. It made Scootaloo’s heart hurt to know that’s what he was losing, his dorky coltfriend who would go running to his parents when he was upset because at sixteen, he still believed that they held all the answers.
“Go on,” Night Light said. “He’ll be happy to see you.”
Scootaloo just nodded, then left Night Light behind and climb the stairs to Spike’s room. He reached his hoof up to knock on the door, but stopped short. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that things would be okay, just like Rainbow said, and he knocked.
Spike’s footsteps sounded slow, and when he opened the door, he looked exhausted. Only for a moment, however, then he saw who was on the other side. Immediately his eyes went wide. “Scootaloo?”
“Uh, hi…” Scootaloo searched for something else to say, but nothing came to mind.
It seemed in that, they were perfectly matched. Spike stood in his doorway looking at Scootaloo as the pegasus could only look down at Spike’s feet.
It was Spike who spoke first. “I… I’m sorry. For earlier. And, well, I guess for everything else too.”
Scootaloo winced. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you.”
“But… today is a big day for you. Then I kinda ruined it…”
Scootaloo shook his head and looked up, willing himself not to cry. “No, you didn’t. It was still a good day.”
Spike stepped aside. “Do… you want to come in?”
Scootaloo didn’t answer, just walking into the bedroom instead. It was so familiar, and it hurt to know he wouldn’t be coming up here to snuggle with his coltfriend anymore.
He took a seat on Spike’s bed, Spike taking a seat beside him. There was more space between them than there would’ve been had they been sitting side by side even earlier that same day.
They sat in more awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Scootaloo looked around and saw a comic, which made him frown. “I guess I should give you back all the comics I was borrowing, huh?”
“You don’t have to,” Spike said quickly. “But… I guess I understand if you don’t want them around anymore.”
“It’s not that, it’s just…” Scootaloo shook his head. What was it? Why were all his thoughts so jumbled. “Is it still okay to be friends? I mean, I want to stay friends, but I’ve never been friends with an… ex before.”
“I think it’s okay,” Spike said. “And you know, I still want to be friends with you.”
Scootaloo took a shaky breath.
“Scoots… I still really care about you, you know. I’ll always look out for you, as long as you want me to. I don’t know what else to call us if we’re not friends.”
Sure, but another word came to mind for Scootaloo. He missed this. It had only been a few hours, but he already missed his coltfriend.
“Spike?” he asked, afraid he wouldn’t be able to get even just the one word out.
“Yeah?”
Scootaloo forced a breath. “Is it… okay for guys to cry too?”
Slowly, Spike put his arm around Scootaloo, who fell into him as the tears started.
“Yeah,” Spike said softly as he stroked Scootaloo’s mane. A few tears fell into it as Spike began to cry as well. “Yeah, it is.”