Raven Inkwell checked over the papers on her side of her desk while, opposite her, Limestone Pie sat stiffly in what Raven knew to be an exceptionally comfortable chair. "Corporal, you did good work out there. Under the circumstances, I'd have expected you to either shoot both of them on principal or just called it in and stood back. You weren't on active duty. Your only responsibility was to call—"
"Permission to speak freely?" Limestone asked, cutting in.
"Not that you need it, corporal, but you have it."
"Fuck active duty, ma'am. My sisters were there dealing with those monsters. Their friends too. They're just kids, and those—" Biting back her words, despite the permission she'd been given, Limestone didn't want to have a nice general turn nasty on her. "I couldn't stand back."
Sliding the papers across the desk, Raven turned them so that Limestone could read. "The papers on the right are a recommendation for you to officer training. Sign them and leave."
Limestone, however, was reading the other papers. "These are transfer papers to—what's the name of this organization?" All her anger was boiled away by curiosity.
"You know the three letter organizations? We only have two. Magic Guard. I've been head of Canterlot operations for several years now, and with the rise of magic levels in the area lately I've been seeking an expanded budget to clean up all these messes. I'd asked Mr. Armor to join, but he's apparently already got a job outside of service." Raven waited for Limestone to flip to the next page. "An immediate promotion is already approved if you sign on. I need someone to head up a team for me."
"Despite this?" Limestone held a hand up and pointed to the top of her head where two ears stood proudly. "Yeah, officer training would be my only hope in the Army now—since this makes me a cripple according to them."
"It might wear off. I don't care. I have discretion to hire who I want."
"Okay, so apart from being your goon, what will I be doing?" Limestone reached for the papers to sign up with the Magic Guard.
"What you're already doing. Shoot what I want you to shoot, protect who I want you to protect, and look out for your sisters and their friends." Keeping her cool still, Raven watched as Limestone started initialing and signing the documents.
Limestone paused and raised an eyebrow. "Why're they important?"
"Because us normies aren't getting any better at dealing with threats like those two today, but they are. Until we can get better, we need someone to take up the slack. I've heard tell they're going to college. I'm going to take a wild guess here and say things are about to get magical at Canterlot U."
"Okay. Hell. You don't have to give me the whole plan for the next century." Returning to signing, Limestone completed it quickly and let out a sigh. "Alright. I get to keep my pistol, right?"
Raven barked a laugh. "Sergeant, you can requisition whatever hardware you think you need. If I ask you to shoot down a dragon—not that friendly today—I want you to be able to open the boot of your car and pull out something that will do the job. But you want to know the best part?"
Still getting used to her promotion, Limestone dreaded seeing Raven smile. "What?"
"You have to do the paperwork. I want you to do a report on all the estimated threats we'll encounter and what equipment will best give you a broad coverage of those. Oh, and go tell your sisters and their friends they are off the hook. I was going to call that task force orange, but it's probably better if you go tell them yourself." Raven flicked through the pages and was pleased to see Limestone had filled it out properly. She stood up.
Jumping to her own feet, her stance awkward only because the chair had been as comfortable as the general had hinted, Limestone snapped a salute.
"Dismissed, Sergeant Pie. I'll call you with your schedule." Raven Inkwell sketched her own salute and watched the newly promoted Sergeant leave. When the door closed, she heaved a sigh. "What do you think?"
"She smells of magic and I think you could do better. But they trust her and, being what she is, she can be trusted. Good choice." The voice came from a black cat that jumped up onto the desk from Raven's side. Almost instinctively, the feline pressed its head under Raven's hand and started purring. "You didn't tell her that she isn't the only one with magic?"
"I might when I'm sure I can trust her more than just her rank and oath carry." Raven stroked the cat's head again and again—increasing the volume of the purring.
"You can trust her."
Raven had never seen anyone her familiar had taken to so quickly. "Oh?"
"She didn't push for orders about the non-humans her sisters are allied with, nor did she tell you that the more human looking pink one, the red-head, and their tame type D were from a different world. She protects them with her silence. She'll protect you, too." Flicking her tail, the feline got comfortable. "You have to trust somebody. Also, I'm hungry."
When the doorbell rang, Human Pinkie Pie jumped to her hooves and ran to answer it. Not bothering to peek at who it was, she just opened the door and was rewarded with the sight she'd been hoping for. "Limestone!" With a high-pitched squeal of pure joy, Pinkie jumped against Limestone and wrapped her arms around her big sister.
"Hey, Pinks?" Limestone's body didn't show any sign that it had a pink teenager hanging off it. "You gonna keep hugging me until I hug you back, right?" What surprised Limestone was how little Pinkie Pie's weight affected her. She felt stronger, and she had just one thing she could think to ascribe any change to.
"Yup!"
"Too bad." Limestone ignored the pink millstone around her neck and casually walked into the living room—following the noise. The first thing to catch her attention was the dragon laying on the floor with a guy and a girl making out on one side of it, and a pony curled up under its other wing (barely visible). Sonata was sitting on the couch cuddled against another girl, and Limestone sighed at seeing the second Pinkie Pie beside Sunset Shimmer. "Yo. You're all off the hook. Boss was happy just to get those two locked up."
"Boss?" Twilight asked, poking her head out from under Thunderbolt's wing.
"Yeah. Apparently she needed an idiot to hang out in Canterlot and do her dirty work." Eventually deciding that her pink limpet was getting too much, Limestone grabbed Pinkie around the shoulder and squeezed. "Now will you let go?"
Human Pinkie Pie giggled and jumped to her feet. "Sure! But now you gotta tell us everything."
Rather than sit on the freed up (by Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle) space on the couch, Limestone crouched down beside it. "So I'm part of some shady deal that protects America from magic shit. General says you lot are great, so I gotta keep an eye on you."
"What'd she offer you?" Shining Armor asked from the doorway, having heard the commotion and come back inside.
"A million bucks." Limestone rolled her eyes at Shining. "What do you think she offered me? With these ears, my career in the Army is over. She gave me a job that would let me keep my rank and look after my little sis. Anything more than that is more than you're cleared for."
"And they are?" Gesturing at the motley group in the living room, Shining glared at Limestone.
Limestone held up her right hand, knuckles facing Shining, and gave him a one-fingered-salute.
It was too much for Shining. He stormed from the house before his temper would have him take a swing at Limestone. He froze on the front lawn when his phone rang. Pulling out the device, he tapped the answer button automatically. "Yeah?"
"Where are you? Didn't you remember our date?"
Shining's eyes widened and all the anger drained from him. "Cady, I'm sorry, but Twilight and her—"
"Shining Armor, I don't care if you're in your uniform. Get your butt to the restaurant in the next five minutes and I'll still be here."
"What a fucking oxygen thief. Are you sure he's your brother, err—Twilight isn't it?" Limestone asked.
Twilight felt a little defensive of her brother, but at the same time she was still upset with him for being angry at her. She leaned a little more against Thunderbolt but poked her head out from under his huge wing. "Y-Yeah. Sorry, still getting over the fight. Did people really die?"
Limestone Pie hated having to deal with civilians and their feelings, mostly because she still had them herself, but had to work past them and keep functioning. "Yeah. That type D—Adagio Dazzle—was seen by several witnesses. She did something with a greenish-red magic that made all the people kill each other."
"Furystorm." Sonata hated that she knew what it was, hated that she knew what it looked like, hated that she knew what it tasted like, but hated most of all that she'd done nothing when Adagio had done it in the past. "It uses a moderate amount of a siren's magic to perform, but with a crowd of people it can result in a huge boost of power."
"They're going to stand trial for this. The feds were on the scene when I left." Still getting used to her ears twitching, Limestone was surprised at their accuracy. She was able to pinpoint sounds to exact positions in the room. The shuffling of Marble's feet, the squeezing muscles of Thunderbolt as he tightened his grip on Twilight, and even the sound of something big in the back yard were clear and distinct. "Does one of you have a big pet?"
"Bridget?" Fluttershy was on her hooves—still ponied up, of course—and moving for the back door before she could get another word out. The remnants of Sonata's shared magic still boiled in her and resonated with the wildness of her core. The moment the back door was in sight, her spirit leapt for joy.
"Right. Anyway, the feds will probably want to get statements from everyone. Just tell them exactly what happened." Limestone's gaze drifted to Sonata. "But keep Sonata's name as one of their friends out of it. There's only two bad type Ds."
"What does that mean?" Sonata asked. "Type D."
"There's four classes. Type A is physical types—like Applejack or Rainbow. Type B is psychic—Sunset over there. Type C is magical—Twilight. Type D is all of the above." A sigh pulled its way from Limestone's throat. "Guess I'm a type A now too."
Both Pinkie Pies looked at each other and giggled. Then, before anyone could stop them, they shouted, "Type A party!"
"Hold up! Why are there two of you?" Limestone asked. "And why isn't anyone else talking? Sheesh."
"Well—" Human Pinkie Pie said.
Sunset could practically hear the verbal gymnastics already, and didn't want to. "They're having a holiday. Pinkie, Pinkie, you both need to tell everyone exactly what the deal is." When a sigh came from each of them, Sunset gave each a firm glare. "I mean it. We're dealing with some heavy stuff. We shouldn't keep secrets."
Pony Pinkie Pie looked around at everyone and sighed. "It was just for funsies at first. Pinkie came through and we had such a great time together—talking about our worlds—that we wanted to share them." She looked over to Rainbow. "You remember that time when we went to the movies and I freaked out about all the shooting in it?"
"Hold up. Which one are you?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I'm Pony Pinkie Pie, the one from Equestria. She's your friend you grew up with." As she spoke, Pony Pinkie Pie pointed to herself and then her counterpart. "We didn't really mean for it to get confusing for any of you, it was just meant to be a bit of fun."
"I learned so much about baking. You remember all that awesome baking I did for the Friendship Games? Mrs. Cake—the Mrs. Cake from Pinkie's world—taught me that. There's no magic, just a lot of fiddly layering of batter so that it swells in just the right way that you—"
Sunset kissed Human Pinkie Pie's fuzzy cheek to slow her down, which only earned her a kiss back from her lover.
"Alright. That makes things a bit more complicated. Pinkie—the pony one—can you just not show up when they want to get all this sorted? I don't think anyone will mention you, and if they do we'll just shrug." Limestone's mind was racing, which was something she didn't often have a problem with. Being a corporal meant she took orders from her sergeants and all the officers and got to do a bit of yelling and grumbling. This was a new deal for her. "Marble was there, anyway, so you can just shrug and say 'There's my twin sister. Ask her.'"
"Ya mean lyin'?" Applejack couldn't stop her lips curling down at the corners.
"No. I mean telling them exactly what happened without mentioning, err, other-Pinks."
"Ah still don't like it,"—it took all of Applejack's love of her friends to fight her typically straightforward nature—"but Ah'll do it. Ah was a mite confused about everythin' anyway."
"How's Trixie?" Rarity still had her arm around Sonata and hadn't planned on letting go of her until morning.
"Blue girl, two-tone hair? She looked like a truck had hit her. Her father was one of the ones Adagio killed," Limestone said.
The news hit everyone hard. Silence grew deeper by the second, but was finally broken by a phone beeping. Then another. Then everyone's phone went off seemingly in a trilling cascade.
Sonata was the first to get hers out, mostly by dint of being the only one of the group not cuddling someone else. "Uh, the FBI want to talk to me?"
"All of us," Sunset said, reading her own phone and peeking at Human Pinkie's.
"That'll be the statements I talked about. Might as well give them your details. They already know them, but better not to make them chase you down," Limestone said.
While typing, Rarity's phone made a different kind of tone. It sounded more like a little explosion, and made Rarity type a lot faster to finish her reply to the FBI before swapping to Trixie's message. "Oh goodness. Trixie wants to know if she and her mother can come here for the night?"