//------------------------------// // 2 – A Proper Lady // Story: Piece by Piece // by Krickis //------------------------------// Chapter Two A Proper Lady ⠀ ⠀ ‘Okay, here goes. It’s just breakfast, nothing to worry about.’ Amber took one more deep breath, then she pushed the door to the dining room open and plastered a smile on her face. As expected, Princess Celestia was already sitting at the table. She was eating breakfast while perusing a newspaper. It was still a little strange to see Princess Celestia doing something as normal as eating breakfast while reading a newspaper. Amber had seen it countless times even before she was officially living at the castle, and yet, she could never quite get used to the sight. “Good morning, Princess,” Amber said as she started making herself a plate. She started with a slice of toast and strawberry jam. “Greetings, Miss Glow. Did you sleep well?” Dropping the formalities of ‘Princess’ and ‘Miss Glow’ would probably go a long way towards making her feel more at ease around the Solar Princess, but it didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. “I haven’t slept, actually.” Amber filled a bowl with fruit and decided that would be good enough for breakfast. She took it along with her toast and sat down across from the princess. “I was waiting for Luna to get off.” “Ah, of course. Without your train job, there isn’t much reason for you to be on a daytime schedule, I suppose.” Was that a subtle jab at Amber for being unemployed? She couldn’t tell. With Celestia, she never could. “Yeah, being nocturnal takes some getting used to, but I’m getting the hang of it.” “Quite.” Celestia sipped her tea and went back to her newspaper. It was always like this between them. There was never anything even remotely hostile in how Celestia acted towards Amber, nothing unpleasant. But there was a sort of… unease. If only from Amber’s side. It was expected when they first met. She was Princess Celestia, she had been the sole ruler of Equestria for the first sixteen years of Amber’s life. She was always above others, nearly godlike between her eternal life and the reverence of her little ponies. But then, she was always Princess Celestia. The Solar Princess, the one who stood above all others, unapproachable and magnificent and – just a bit, perhaps – judgemental. Or at least, Amber thought the last part was true. Celestia sipped her tea, almost looking less regal by her morning routine. Moments like this made Amber want to try to push for something more familiar with them. “So… anything interesting in the paper today?” Celesita smiled and set it aside. “Thankfully, it doesn’t seem so. Editorials about myself or my family are too common these days. And if it’s not that, it’s speculation about the changelings.” Amber couldn’t match Celestia’s smile. Celestia smiled a perfect smile that managed to say absolutely nothing aside from that she was smiling. Amber’s smile was an awkward one that could only look common next to Celestia’s. “No news is good news, they say.” Celestia inclined her head. “At least in my case, that is very true.” Of course, Luna was Celestia’s equal. And considering Luna was Amber’s marefriend, it was silly to keep holding Celestia on a pedestal. But then, Luna was willing to step off her pedestal. Oh sure, she liked playing with it. She toyed with her position and – especially – with her high physical stature. But she invited Amber into her games, and she knew when to put an end to them and put herself on level with every other pony. But Celestia? No, she was always Princess Celestia. No exceptions. She was polite, to be sure, but she was eternally detached. It was how she’d been for years, and she showed no signs of changing. Still, Amber had to make the effort. It wasn’t like she could expect Celestia to. She took a bite of her toast, then kept trying to make conversation. “I guess everyone’s got more on their minds with the Grand Galloping Gala coming up.” “Perhaps you’re right,” Celestia said. “And I suppose it’ll be an important event for you as well.” Amber cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?” “Only that it’s your first formal event as Luna’s marefriend.” Celestia smiled what she probably expected was a warm smile, but which only looked to Amber like somepony who did not know how to be a regular pony. “I know it’s not your first gala, but you’ll be a proper high class lady this time.” Amber did not like the sound of that. Nothing about it felt like her. High class? Lady? She wasn’t even sure if she could call herself a proper anything. But she could see that Celestia was at least trying to talk to her, to hold a genuine conversation. She did so want to get along with her marefirend’s sister, so she ignored it. “So, uh, got any advice?” Celestia chuckled. “Oh, there isn’t much to it. Just watch out for the gossip among the Canterlot elites. They can be a bit… hung up on tradition.” There was no need to explain what she meant. Look at the lady with Princess Luna. Why is her mane cropped so short? Why is she wearing a tux? Is she even wearing makeup? She might as well be a colt. Amber preoccupied herself with peeling an orange. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to watch out for that. Me and tradition haven’t always gotten along…” “No, I didn’t suspect as much.” Did Celestia sound disappointed, or did Amber imagine that? She didn’t look disappointed, at least. “I’m afraid you’ll find Canterlot is rather fond of its traditions. More so than Fillydelphia, I’m led to believe.” Amber forced a chuckle. “Yeah, well, tell that to my family.” Celestia’s smile fell into a small frown at that. “You do not get along with them?” “Er, not exactly. Luna never mentioned anything about that?” “Nothing. I’m sorry if it’s a sensitive subject.” “It’s fine,” Amber said, well practiced in telling ponies about her family by now. “It isn’t all bad, though. My little brother is cool about everything.” “That is good to hear. Family is very important.” “That it is, my dear sister,” Luna said, causing both of them to turn their heads in her direction. She had entered the room silently from somewhere unseen. “But what is family in these modern times? Surely it’s more than siblings and parents.” Celestia smiled as if Luna’s sudden appearance wasn’t out of place in the slightest. Then again, to someone who knew Luna as well as Celestia did, it wouldn’t be. “Of course. One need only look at our own family to see that.” “We are quite the mismatched bunch, aren’t we?” Luna asked as she walked over to Amber. She kissed her atop the head and smiled at the smaller mare. “Good morning, dear. Have you slept at all?” “Nope, made it all night,” Amber answered with a grin. She was still adjusting to Luna’s sleep schedule, and most nights she couldn’t manage without a nap. “You must be tired. I shall make it a quick breakfast so that we may get you into bed.” Amber shrugged. “Don’t hurry on my account. Your sister has a way of shaking the sleep out of me whenever she raises that big burning ball of hers.” “The morning sun is rather invigorating, isn’t it?” Celestia asked with a slight smile. Amber was pretty sure it was the first time the two of them had agreed on anything. “Perhaps a bit too much,” Luna said as she prepared her own breakfast. “Some of us have to sleep through it.” “And you always manage to do just that,” Celestia said with a smirk. “Sometimes a bit too much, I daresay.” Seeing Luna and Celestia joking around reminded Amber that Celestia could act like a normal pony, just not with her. But even so, it was a relief to have Luna around to make the conversation go more smoothly. With her around, Amber didn’t feel so awkward and Celestia seemed to take down some of her walls. It made the rest of breakfast pass much more quickly. And with Luna bridging the gap, Amber was even able to talk to Celestia a little more naturally. They still didn’t feel like more than casual acquaintances, but at least they felt like that much. Besides, mornings were mostly for Celestia and Luna anyway. The two of them usually only saw each other at breakfast and dinner, their respective duties and different sleep schedules keeping them apart the rest of the time. So if Amber still had trouble fitting into the picture, that was okay; it was never meant for her anyway. Luna filled them in on how her night had gone, and Celestia talked about her plans for the day. There was some sisterly banter throughout, then it was time for Celestia to take her leave and get to work on the busy day ahead of her. Luna and Amber weren’t much longer, finishing up their meals and making for Luna’s room. “I do believe Celestia is finally warming up to you,” Luna said as they walked through her solar. Amber smirked. “Really? Because she could’ve fooled me.” “My sister is not one to show these kinds of things. But trust me, I have much experience decoding how she really feels.” Amber wished she could be so sure. Luna wasn’t above seeing what she wanted to see at times, and this felt like one of them. Still, all she said was, “I hope you’re right. Would be nice.” They climbed the stairs from her solar to her bedroom, which had heavy curtains blocking out most of the light. All but one were closed, letting in just enough light to see by. “Shall we head to bed then?” Luna asked. “I’m not –” Right on cue, Amber’s sentence was cut off by a yawn. “Okay, I’m a little tired.” Luna chuckled. “As am I. Come, let us make for an early bed, then we can spend some time together before my duties start in the evening.” Amber nodded and followed Luna into the bed. Luna lifted one of her giant wings, which Amber used in place of a blanket as she snuggled close to her marefriend. “Do you think Celestia is actually okay with me?” Amber asked as she got comfortable. “I mean, yeah, she’s getting more used to me. But don’t you think she’d, I don’t know, be happier if you were dating a ‘proper lady’?” Luna craned her neck to give Amber a kiss. “She is happy that I am happy. My sister is not so hung up on high society traditions that she would impose them on me.” “I don’t know, she’s still touchy about a lot of non-traditional things. Just look at how she is with Twilight, Sunset, and Fluttershy. And they’ve been together for three years now!” Luna frowned. It was undeniable that Celestia wasn’t the biggest fan of polyamory. “She is coming around to that as well, I believe. But you are not multiple ponies, my love. Celestia has long been a supporter of same-sex relationships, and she is well aware that many lesbians are less feminine.” Less feminine. That was one way to put it. “I guess, it’s just… well…” “Is there something else on your mind?” Of course there was. There was something that hadn’t left her mind in the past couple weeks, ever since she heard that the human world Scootaloo was transgender. But how could she say that? She wasn’t even sure exactly what she felt, let alone how to vocalize it in a way that didn’t make her sound like an idiot. “I… I don’t know.” “You know you can talk to me about anything.” Amber nodded. “I know, I just…” She forced a smile. What was the sense of worrying Luna like this? It’s not like she even understood how she felt herself. “I think I just need to get some sleep for now.” Luna looked unsure. “Is it my sister? Or something else about living in the castle?” “I guess… there’s just a lot changing right now.” Luna nodded. “Of course, I should have known as much. You’ll get settled in soon, I’m sure. And in the meantime, I could always arrange a trip for you to visit your brother if you’d like.” “That’d be nice.” Amber nuzzled in closer to Luna. “But first we should get some sleep.” “Of course.” Luna kissed Amber once more. “I… I love you.” Amber smiled. Luna was more than a little standoffish about expressing her love, but Amber found it cute. Luna was so certain in everything she did, it felt nice to see her vulnerable. One of those little things that reminded Amber that underneath the crown was not only a pony, but a pony no one other than Amber saw in the way she did. “I love you too,” Amber said contently. At least no matter what else, she had Luna by her side again. Everything felt like it was spinning. Amber wasn’t sure if it was herself or the room, but something had to be spinning. There were so many ponies. Everywhere she looked, ponies were laughing and having a good time. Amber was not having a good time. She was wandering through them, unsure of where she was going. There was so much spinning. There was so much laughing. It was all happening at once. “Where’s Luna?” Amber asked a random pony. He seemed to find her more amusing up close, and laughed harder. Were all the ponies laughing at her? She stumbled through them, unable to walk normally. It must’ve been the shoes she was wearing; they had some kind of heel on them that made it hard to walk. It went with the dress she was wearing. “Ah, Amber,” someone was saying. She turned to see Princess Celestia. “You look like a proper lady tonight. Well done.” “No,” Amber mumbled, grabbing at the dress she was wearing. She couldn’t seem to get it off. “No no no no no no no!” If only everything would stop spinning. The laughter still filled the room, but it grew malicious. Everyone was laughing at her. Everyone except Princess Celestia, who just smiled approvingly. Amber tried to run, but she fell due to the heels. She had to brush her mane from her eyes, it had grown so long. Everything was wrong. Amber was wrong. The next thing she knew, Amber’s eyes were shooting open. She wasn’t spinning, she was being shaken. She blinked a few times in the dim blue light that she soon realized was coming from Luna’s horn. A dream. It had only been a dream. “Amber, are you alright?” Luna asked softly. She leaned against her marefriend. “Yeah, I’m fine. Your dream powers tell you I was having a nightmare?” “Not quite. You were tossing in your sleep.” Amber smiled a little. “And you didn’t come running into my dream to show off? I’m impressed by your restraint.” “I’d rather you felt you could talk to me about it directly rather than risk violating your trust. Besides, by the time I realized you were in a nightmare, I was already awake. It would have taken longer to dream dive.” Amber nodded, then she sighed and let her eyes droop closed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” “It’s quite alright. Would you like to talk about it?” Amber was slow to reply. She could blame it on being sleepy if pressed, but really, she just wasn’t sure how to talk about it. “It wasn’t really a nightmare exactly. Just like… a stress dream.” Luna nuzzled her. “I’d still like to hear about it if you want to get it off your chest.” Amber frowned and kept her eyes off Luna. “I… don’t want to be a lady.” The light shifted, and Amber realized Luna had turned her head to the side. “I’m not sure I follow. Did you dream you were a lady?” “Yeah. At a fancy party, like the Gala or something.” “I see. Well, it may please you to know that I do not believe you could ever be something as proper as a lady even if you wanted to be, so there.” Amber grinned, but Luna didn’t understand. How could she? Amber didn’t even understand. “I think…” Her words caught in her throat. What would Luna say if Amber told her what had been on her mind? The two of them had just gotten back together, how could she drop something like this? “Amber love, talk to me. I want to help you.” “I don’t want to be a mare,” Amber blurted out before she could think better of it. “I see,” Luna said simply, as if this wasn’t some huge world-shattering revelation. “Would you then prefer to be a stallion?” “No.” Amber had thought of that, of course. She knew what it meant to be transgender, and she had asked herself if that was how she felt. “I know it doesn’t really make sense, but I don’t feel like a stallion either.” “Perhaps we should continue this with a bit more light?” Without waiting for an answer, Luna’s horn glowed brighter. The light left her horn and became a sphere which floated above them, illuminating the room softly. “So then tell me, what would you like to be?” Amber shook her head and laughed. “I don’t know. There’s not really anything else, you know? That’s why I haven’t said anything before. It’s just… It’s so stupid.” “No, it’s not,” Luna said softly but affirmatively. “It’s anything but. How you feel about yourself is important, Amber.” “But… it makes no sense.” “I have a friend,” Luna said simply. She often did this, seemed to change the subject only to later prove a point. “Perhaps they are more of an acquaintance, I can’t say we’re close, though that is not the point.” “Okay. Is it somepony I’ve met?” “No, I’d say not, though they live here in Canterlot. I think it likely that the two of you should be introduced, however.” Amber frowned a little. “You keep saying ‘they’.” Luna smiled serenely. “That I do. You see, Amber, although they were born with a colt’s body, they too did not feel like it fit them. Nor do they feel they should be a mare.” Amber looked up at Luna, wanting to understand everything she had to say on the subject. “That’s an option?” “It certainly is.” “Wow…” Luna placed her hoof on Amber’s. “I’m afraid I’m not an expert, my dearest. I would like to learn more about it, knowing it may be important to you. Perhaps we could learn together?” “Well, it sounds like you have a headstart on me.” Amber found herself laughing a little. “I should have known you’d already know a thing or two about this whole… thing. Are we sure you’re not the Princess of Weird Walks of Life?” “Hmm, we’ll need a catchier title, but I don’t see why I couldn’t be.” Amber took a deep breath and looked up at Luna. “Thank you, Luna. And… you’re not bothered by this whole thing?” Luna smiled at her. “Your gender is important to me because you are important to me, and it is important to you. Otherwise, it’s not something I’m terribly concerned with. Mare, stallion, something else… no matter what, I’m with you.” “You’re the best.” “I am quite charming, yes.” Luna inclined her head slightly, her smile shifting a little as her tone lost some of its playfulness. “I think it best if we let my acquaintance tell us more about this. But of what little I do know, as I’ve said they prefer to use gender neutral terms and pronouns. Do you think you would prefer the same?” Amber wasn’t sure what to think about that. “I… don’t know.” “That’s okay. You need not know now, it is just something that would be good for you to think about.” “Doesn’t it get confusing with your friend? Like, do ponies think you’re talking about multiple other ponies when you mention them?” Luna chuckled. “Less often than you’d expect, but even when it does cause some minor confusion, their comfort is more important. We could try it, if you’d like. I could say, for example, Amber is the perfect partner, and I love them.” Amber smiled. She… They? It was hard to imagine everyone using gender neutral pronouns for… them. “I guess I’d like to give it a try. But maybe, like, just between us and your friend. I can’t imagine coming out to your sister about this…” Luna nodded. “But of course. I’m glad we’ve taken this initial step. Anything that leads to you better understanding yourself and being more comfortable is a good thing.” “Yeah, hopefully.” Something was still bothering Amber, though. They wouldn’t look at Luna as they asked it. “So… what do you think your sister would have to say about this?” Luna hesitated a moment, which spoke just as much as her words did. “I confess I have never talked to my sister on the subject, so I do not know how she’d feel. I do know that I’ll make her understand if she doesn’t wish to on her own. Your happiness is important to me.” Amber was afraid of that. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not even sure how I feel about this whole thing yet, and I don’t want to come in between you two or anything.” “You won’t, trust me. Only one thing has ever come between my sister and me, and I assure you this will be less of a shock than Nightmare Moon was.” “Hmm, I dunno…” Amber tapped on their chin. “Nightmare Amber has sort of a ring to it, doesn’t it?” “Be that as it may, I think I prefer you unpossessed, personally.” Amber grinned and rolled over so they could nudge Luna. “Aww, where’s your sense of adventure?” Luna rolled Amber onto their back and kissed them. “Dating you has been adventure enough, I assure you.” “That’s just because you’re old. Real adventure is for the young!” “Because only the young are foalish enough to seek it out. I’ve been on more than my share of adventures, and I should not like to go on another.” Without shifting position from where they lay on their back, Amber smiled up at Luna. “Tell me about one.” “Is this to be a bedtime story?” Amber blushed a little. “I don’t know, maybe.” Luna nodded. “Very well then. I do not believe I ever told you about the time my sister and I defeated Sombra back in the days when he ruled the Crystal Empire.” Amber listened to Luna’s story, eventually closing their eyes as they did. It was a thrilling story, so much so that Amber wasn’t sure which parts were real and which were embellished to make things more interesting. It didn’t really matter. Real or fake, it was just a comfort to listen to Luna speak. So much was changing in their world, but at least they had Luna by their side once again, as they hoped they always would.