CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE:
BIRTHDAY
STARLIGHT GLIMMER
We'd talked for a little bit after I dropped my bombshell. Twilight and Sunset likely debated what the next move was late into the night, but I wasn't around to hear it.
I was exhausted.
My nap on the train was the first time I had slept in over month, and waking it from it was almost more torture than the actual torture I'd endured. I had hit that point where I was so tired I couldn't feel it anymore, and so I made sure to go to sleep as soon as I had a general understanding of the situation and the girls knew I was okay.
When I awoke the next morning, the first thing I did was look at the clock that rested by my bedside.
12:30.
That wasn't too bad, all things considered. I'd managed to sleep in later during my college days, and when I slowly rose from my bed and blinked a few times, I felt much more refreshed than I had been limping around both Ponyville and Canterlot the night prior. I made sure to write a quick note with some of the paper and a quill I had in my room to let everypony know that, while I was excited to see them, I didn't want to be disturbed and wished to wake up this morning on my own accord.
Hopping out of bed, I fell into my traditional morning (or afternoon, in this case) routine for the first time in a very long time. The luxury of a shower and a toothbrush could not have possibly been understated, and after drying myself off, I took a good long look in the mirror to really take a look at myself.
The weight I'd endured had shown. Despite my good night's sleep, there was still a minor trace of black around my eyes. The cuts and bruises had begun to heal after I'd escaped from the cocoon, but the process was still just starting, and so the nicks and dark spots were still rather visible all across my body. The mane was almost shocking to look at: I'd seen it last night when the cut was done, of course, but it was still really weird to see my mane that short, and I found myself moving my head around to view it from every angle.
"You made it," I said aloud. "Welcome back, Starlight."
The otherwise touching moment was ruined by a furious growl of my stomach, so loud that it almost made me jump. Despite the fact that nopony was here, I still found myself blushing, and I immediately headed for the door.
Go get some food, I thought to myself, grinning as I said so. Like everything else, I hadn't eaten in ages, and I felt more ravenous then I ever had in my entire life.
Once I slipped into the hallway and began to make my way to the dining area, I immediately felt a creeping feeling up my spine as my hoofsteps echoed across the walls.
The castle felt empty.
I thought I would at least see a guard somewhere, but there wasn't one in sight. It was almost as if the castle was frozen in time, and I was merely traversing its halls in a still moment. Twilight and Sunset had told me last night what they felt whenever they walked into a place where Zephyr had turned his thralls, and the sickening calm in the air they describe was all around me.
You just don't get a break, do you? I thought to myself. I could feel my horn ignite with a passive charge as I made a left turn, constantly on the lookout for anything -- or pony -- out of the ordinary. My paranoia grew with each step, and I quickly decided that I was still going to go to my original destination of the dining hall: there were always servants staffed there, and if that place was empty, something was really up.
Is he here? This soon?
I'd been told enough about what Zephyr's thralls looked like and what they could do, but I had a dreadful feeling that I was about to learn more than that. Every bone in my body simply felt wrong, and the echoing of my own steps down the hallway did nothing to ease my mind.
I didn't know where my friends were. I didn't know what had happened to them, and I felt a massive pang of guilt at the notion that I might have slept through an attack.
Creeping as quietly as I could, I came upon the ornate double doors that marked the entrance to the dining hall. I stood in front of them, mentally preparing myself for whatever could be on the other side. I could feel myself come alive with magic, feeling it pulse through me as I grabbed the handle slowly.
Watch all sides. Be vigilant. Be ready for anything.
With a grimace on my face and an aura on the charge, I quickly opened the doors and marched into the large room.
And as it turned out, it nopony was missing. In fact, there wasn't a pony in the room who wasn't there.
Sitting at the massive dining table at the center of the room was, well, everypony. Twilight, Sunset, Trixie, Violet, Cobalt, Spike, Celestia, Luna, and the remaining Elements of Harmony were sitting at the table, the noise of constant chatter filling the room. An attractive mare with a charcoal mane and tail, bright red eyes, a silver coat and tattoos running up her legs was also present. None of them were sitting with their back to the door -- they'd either taken the sides of the table or the seats facing towards it -- so everything on the table and around the room was clear for me to see.
Streamers. Balloons. Confetti all across the floor. Presents wrapped neatly and stacked at the far left side of the table. There was an enormous chocolate cake in the very center, and an assortment of food and drinks from deserts to typical lunch food were sprawled across a light-blue colored cloth.
Sunset was the first pony to see me (as was typical), and she excitedly nudged Twilight and the silvery mare she was talking to. I felt the magic I'd been storing fade away instantly, and when they both looked up, the rest of the group quickly followed suit once they knew I had arrived. I had my jaw agape slightly in confusion and shock, and I looked out to see of wide smiles as Trixie Lulamoon spoke to me from the edge of the table.
"Happy Birthday, Starlight," she said.
I didn't have a reaction at first: I was simply trying to process her words over and over again. Reeling back, I looked around the room, and sure enough, they had put an almost comically oversized calendar on the right wall with the current date circled. I wanted to kick myself for not thinking about it: Trixie had already been asking me what my plans were a month ago, but I hadn't even checked the date on my train ticket when I'd come up from Ponyville.
If I hadn't gotten out, I might not have been here for my birthday. Everypony would probably be wondering where I was, and the date would have only served as a painful reminder that I was gone. The fact that everypony here had gathered and waited for me to awaken just so they could welcome me back on such an occasion was more than enough to send a flood of tears down my face. I was absolutely overwhelmed with emotion, and my voice was cracked when I finally spoke.
"When did you all plan this?" I asked, a dumb grin seeping on to my face through the waterfall as I walked over to the table. They all couldn't have known that I was back until this morning, and the elaborate set-up led me to believe that it wasn't simply a pop-up party. Twilight answered the inquiry, nodding her head to a certain bubblegum pink mare to the right of her.
"This morning!" Pinkie Pie replied, standing on her back legs and throwing her hooves in the air enthusiastically. "Well, that isn't entirely true because Trixie and I were planning this for a long time and the party was on! But then when we found out that the Starlight we thought was Starlight wasn't actually Starlight but was a fake Starlight after she kidnapped the real Starlight, you were gone and the party was off and I was sad. But then this morning I found out you were here! So the party was back on and now we're all ready to celebrate with you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
She ran up to me and embraced me, but somepony must have told her about my injuries: Pinkie didn't strangle me like she usually did, and I gratefully returned the hug.
"Thank you so much, Pinkie," I said. I looked over my shoulder to the gathered mass at the table, and when we broke apart, I gestured to all of them. "Thank you so much to all of you."
Waving a hoof to an open seat in the middle, Celestia looked up to me with a raised brow.
"You have to be hungry," she mused. "I'm told chocolate cake is your favorite."
"It's a town in the middle of nowhere called Dodge Junction. My family owned a ranch out there."
I had just asked Silver Jubilee where she was from, but had in that very moment taken a bite into the delicious chocolate cake at the center of the table. Pinkie Pie's baking skills were absolutely unrivaled, and I had almost missed her response while savoring the flavor. I'd already eaten the main course meal, but the cake was far too enticing not to dabble in, especially with how hungry I was.
"How did you discover her?" I asked leaning back and looking to Celestia. The Princess of the Sun had been sitting on the opposite side of me, and she looked to Silver with a glint in her eye.
"I was there to oust the mayor, believe it or not," she started. "But I saw her juggling with magic in a carriage alongside her parents, who were bringing a shipment of cherries into town from their farm. She just had that spark in her eye, and on her horn, that I always look for and find in so few. I took two ponies from Dodge Junction that day."
We all shared a laugh at that, and once it had died down, Celestia slowly rose from her seat.
"I'm going over to get more tea and have a talk with Luna. There is much to discuss with your return, Starlight Glimmer." She leaned over to give me a sort of pseudo-hug, and I gratefully leaned into her to return it.
"I'm glad you're back," she replied with a beam. I heard a noise from my left, and I turned to see that Silver had gotten up from her seat as well.
"Mind if I join you?" she asked. Celestia tilted her head towards her sister, beginning her walk to the area with Silver in tow.
"Of course," she replied. The two of them walked over to the tea table and greeted Luna, who was already in the middle of some sort of banter with Trixie. I sat and watched, trying to read their lips, but I particularly noticed the eternal gaze that Silver held looking up towards her former mentor as she carried herself. She looked like a mesmerized filly, and the only time she ever broke the stare was when she was being addressed by somepony else.
"What do you think?" came a voice from behind me. Sunset Shimmer could have been talking about a number of things, but I knew precisely who she had been referencing when I turned around to answer her.
"She's a bit quiet, but once you break through to her, she's quick as a whip. I swear, it seems like every damn mare Celestia's taken under her wing is a total knockout, too." Sunset broke out laughing with a roll of her eyes, and she made a mockingly surprised gesture as she put both her front hooves to her heart.
"Starlight Glimmer, are you calling me a knockout?" I was the only pony among our group of friends who was into mares, and when I'd told her one night that I found most of my best friends exceedingly attractive, she'd dangled it over me ever since. I returned her eyeroll before looking back over to the group, watching them converse once more.
"Well, Violet's taken, I guess. I was gone for a month." Violet and Cobalt becoming somewhat of an item was probably one of the most shocking revelations I'd experienced, but I was very happy that the two could find each other in all of this chaos. Violet was probably the most beautiful mare I had ever seen in my life, and now that she was taken, I was at least glad that Sunset's incessant teasing when I first arrived in Canterlot would finally come to an end.
"Um, have you noticed anything... weird about Silver, though?" I asked her, shifting the conversation. Sunset was always freakishly attentive -- I'd taken to calling her "Detective Shimmer" in my own form of teasing her -- so I knew she had to have seen what I was seeing. She was behind me, but my suspicions were confirmed when I could almost feel her nodding as she spoke to me while I watched the mare of the discussion.
"That she's always weirdly close to Celestia? Yeah, it's been that way since she got here. It's a bit strange, though, because she tries not to look her directly in the eyes and she never shadows her in a large group. She's only doing it now because those four have isolated themselves from the rest of the party." Sure enough, that appeared to be exactly the case, and I couldn't help but think about how well she must have played her part as Canterlot High's kingpin.
"Wonder why," she mused, watching them with me. I channeled my inner Sunset and watched the way Silver laughed at Celestia's jokes, the way she'd stiffen ever so slightly when the Princess of the Sun addressed her. She was tapping her right hoof almost constantly, something I felt like I would have at least heard when she was with me at the table.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
"...I think I might know exactly why," I said, hearing my voice trail off. I turned to Sunset, who had both her eyebrows raised at me. "I'll tell you later."
You need to talk to her.
"Gossiping, are we?" came a familiar voice from behind me. "How is your party?" Twilight sat down in between us, and I gave her a warm smile as I looked around the festivities.
"It's... fantastic. Really guys, this has been so wonderful after everything that's happened to me. Where have you been off to?" Twilight gave me an annoyed scowl, and so I automatically assumed it was some government business: sure enough, she confirmed my suspicions.
"I've been writing to S.M.I.L.E, which is just a joy. They think Zephyr is within their jurisdiction because he's technically undead, and I've been trying to tell them not to get involved. Every time I have to talk with them, I wish I was still blissfully unaware that they ever existed." That drew a laugh from me, but, Sunset twisted her face in confusion: Twilight and I merely waved our hooves in dismissal, letting her know that it wasn't important enough to explain. Sunset shrugged, but her face quickly drew grim at the mention of the elephant in the room.
"Hate to take the life out of your big day, Star, but... are we going back to Ponyville? Well, you all would be going back, I guess. I've never actually been." Sure, Sunset had technically been inside the Castle of Friendship for a few precious minutes, but seeing as how Ponyville hadn't ever gotten the Summer Sun Celebration, she had never actually been inside the city during her tenure as Celestia's apprentice.
"Yeah, we are. We're already packing," Twilight said. "The Castle of Friendship can hold all of us, and I gotta say, I'm so much more comfortable now that I know you're here for real, Starlight. Zephyr's fought us, but he hasn't fought you."
I winced.
Twilight maintains to this day that I am the toughest opponent she's ever had to face, and despite her prowess in magic, she would always laud my combative skills as the very best of our little group. When she had just spoken, though, I couldn't help but look down at the bruises and cuts that swarmed my body and feel the aches that reared their heads with every movement.
Look what good that did you.
"We're gonna go to Ponyville, we're gonna find Zephyr, and we're gonna end his little hit and run," I told them. I could feel the grit in my teeth as I spoke, and Sunset and Twilight shot a quick look at each other as they witnessed the intensity. At the moment, I didn't care: I found myself standing up, and I looked right into Twilight's eyes as I continued.
"And after I've had my warm-up, I'm gonna make Melody Waltz wish she'd picked a different pony."
The rest of the party went by in a flash. We'd played games, sang some songs -- Sunset pulled out a guitar, and I had absolutely no idea how incredible she was on a six-string -- and when it was getting late, we had all agreed to "end" the festivities. A few of us were still hanging out in the common area, but there were quite a number of mares who were more used to going to bed early.
I wasn't one of those ponies, and neither was Trixie Lulamoon.
I'd been sitting with Trixie out in the gardens, admiring the flora under the lights as we talked of recent happenings. I would always go for walks out here whenever Twilight and I visited Canterlot, and it still managed to steal my breath every time I looked upon its sculptures and landscapes. This was my first time seeing it at night, and it had the aura of a paradise lost in time whenever Luna's light touched it just so.
We'd started a fire between the two of us, and the feeling of warmth dancing across my skin was a massively welcome atmosphere after enduring the cold of the cocoon for so long. I was so glad to be able to see her again, and I was also relieved (and greatly disturbed) to know that Melody had somehow done a fantastic job as her assistant when she had done her first show in Ponyville, down to the exact cues I had been taught.
"I'm just glad you're okay, Starlight," she told me, waving away my concerns. "Trixie could not bear it if her number one assistant went down for the count." She grinned at me, and I found her infectious swagger rubbing off on me as I found myself returning it. I'd missed Trixie's abrasive style of confidence, and I leaned back into my chair and let the flames bathe me.
We remained silent for some time. I don't know what Trixie was thinking about -- I could never tell with that mare -- but I knew what I was thinking about, and so I spoke into the silence with the cackle of the flames as my backing.
"This is it, Trix."
She looked to me with an eyebrow raised, and when I didn't elaborate, she quickly fired back.
"What do you mean by that?" I turned away from her again, staring into the fire. The orange and red speckles were hypnotizing, and I observed how they moved and swayed like a ballet as I answered.
"This whole thing," I told her. "The apprentices. Finding out what happened, Zephyr, Melody, all of it. We're in the final stretch. I can feel it. We... we gotta be ready, Lulu." I felt like an eternity had gone by that I'd been stripped of in my captivity, and when I'd finally returned to throw my hat in the ring, I immediately got this creeping sense that it was all about to come to a head.
"I hope you're right," Trixie replied, much to my surprise. I turned to face her, and she held a conviction in her eyes I had rarely ever seen from her. "No more slow burns. No more running. Let's go to Ponyville and put a stop to this before anypony else gets hurt."
She reached out her hoof and smirked, waiting on me. With a roll of my eyes, I brought mine to hers, making sure that the first hoofbump between us in a long time was a worthy beginning for many more to come.
"Damn right," I told her. "I need a vacation." I rose up from my chair, stretching the legs that had been idle for some time. Trixie looked up to me with amusement, nodding her head back towards the castle entrance.
"You're calling it a night this early, Star? It's hardly the witching hour." I nodded my head, backing away towards the castle.
"I'm twenty-seven today, not eighty-seven," I told her. "Nah. I'm off to have a chat with a new friend of mine."
Twilight had assured me that Silver Jubilee was a reader. She said she saw a lot of herself in the mare, going back to the days she'd spent here huddled up in her tower (which she coincidentally had found herself inhabiting again) absorbing any and all knowledge and fiction that she could. She also liked to have some time to herself, I'd learned, and so there was no better place to search for her than a room full of books where she could be all alone.
Twilight wasn't currently in her tower -- she was having another one of her balcony talks with Sunset -- and she had told me during the party that she would often allow Silver to use the library in her tower at any time she liked. As such, I knew precisely where to go to find her.
The walk up the frankly comical amount of stairs to the main part of her quarters wasn't exactly friendly to my ailing body, but it was far from the worst pain I'd felt within the last few weeks. It didn't take long until I was at the unassuming wooden door that led to her quarters, and after a quick knock, I opened it to reveal the library within.
I'd only seen this place once, but it was easy to understand how Twilight would have never wanted to leave it when she was a young apprentice. It was absolutely filled to the brim with pretty much every book imaginable, and I couldn't help but crack a quick smile at the thought of my mentor and trusted friend getting lost in print for hours and hours on any given night.
I didn't have to look far to find Silver. She was sitting comfortably on one of the many small couches that littered the area, flipping through the pages of what appeared to be a book on ancient runes. She had a notebook on a little accent table next to her seat, which appeared to showcase numerous illustrations with large Xs across them. Her face looked puzzled, but when I walked in, she looked up from the large volume and flashed me a smile before putting the book down the table.
"Hey, Starlight," she greeted. "How has your birthday been?" I scanned the room quickly and found a plain wooden chair tucked against one of the larger tables, and I slid it across from her before sitting down.
"It's been wonderful," I replied. "I had such a great day. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking? Uh... if you know, that is." Silver hadn't quite told me exactly what happened to her, and by the way her face dropped, I immediately felt a pang of sadness at what I knew was a confirmation it wasn't pleasant.
"I was twenty-nine when I died," she told me softly. "So biologically, I guess that's what I am now. Well, actually... I'd be thirty, as of today."
She looked up to me with a sheepish smile, a faint blush running across her cheeks. I could feel my eyes shoot open, and I put a hoof on my chest when I put together exactly what she had meant.
"Oh my goodness, Silver, I had no idea. Why didn't you tell anypony?" I knew we had a few things in common, but I certainly didn't expect the day we were born to be one of them. Silver shrugged and shook her head.
"I've never really made a big deal about it," she told me. "Celestia asked me if I wanted to make it a dual party this morning, but I told her that I wanted this day to be about you. You've gone through Tartarus, Starlight, and all I needed for my special day was to finally meet the real you and know that you enjoyed yours. Besides, it was all of the party and none of the attention. It was perfect."
It was my turn to smile sheepishly, but I did manage to fight back some tears as I leaned over and rested a hoof on her shoulder.
"Thank you so much," I told her. "I'm glad you were able to enjoy the party." Silver nodded, but she quickly raised her eyebrows, and she gestured in the air to nothing in particular as she leaned back into her recliner.
"What brings you here? Something on your mind?" I could feel the wide beam I had on my lips disappear in a wisp, and I found myself looking at the floor and twiddling my hooves. I didn't really know how I was going to discuss this with her, and so naturally, I made sure to start off the conversation as awkward as I possibly could.
"I like mares," I blurted out.
Silver reeled back, and she narrowed her eyes in great confusion. I had already begun kicking myself for the rough start, but before I could rectify it, she replied with bewilderment.
"That's... uh... good?" she said slowly. "If you need relationship advice, I'm probably not the pony to ask -- "
"No, no, no," I butted in quickly, putting my front hooves in an x formation. "That's not what I need to talk about. Uh, let me try this again." I took a deep breath, knowing that the words that came next would be tough ones and that I would need to steel myself for the incoming awkward silence.
"I like mares," I began, much less awkward this time around. "And I feel like I personally do a pretty decent job of picking up when somepony else does, too. The subtle things, you know. Body language, eye contact, that sort of thing. And at the party, um, I noticed you were hanging out with Celestia quite a bit."
There it was.
I didn't have to spell out my suspicion, and she didn't have to tell me I was right. She immediately shifted her gaze to the floor, and she started to tap her hoof rapidly upon it as the little echoes rang about the room. The red in her cheeks came flooding out, and once the silence had almost pierced our ears, she let out a single word.
"...Oh."
I asked her a question I was certain I already knew the answer to.
"Does she know?"
Slowly, she shook her head. When she finally looked up to me, she wore a shellshocked visage, and I knew then and there that I was the very first pony to figure out this particular piece of information.
"No," she said quickly. "You can't tell her. Please."
Celestia was a mare who was wise beyond the millennia she'd lived, but I also knew that had a lot on her plate for every one of those years. I wanted to think Silver was being a bit too hopeful in her assessment, but with the absolute pleading in her eyes, I knew the Princess of the Sun truly had no idea how Silver had really thought of her. I also figured out that this was weighing down on Silver far more than I initially perceived it to be, and so without saying a word, I got up and scooted my chair right next to hers.
Silver seemed very nervous at what I was going to say next, so I made sure to gift her the warmest smile I could manage before I spoke.
"I know what it's like to have burdens," I started. "I carry them with me wherever I go. The terrible things I've done in the past have been forgiven by the wonderful ponies around me, but they certainly haven't been forgotten. It hurts. One day, you'll be perfectly fine, and then a memory creeps up on you and it takes you back to a place you thought you'd left behind. I still dream about it. I wake up every morning, and the pony I used to be stares at me in the mirror every now and then." Silver was watching my eyes and listening intently -- she was certainly a student of Celestia's -- and I made sure to gently rest a hoof on her shoulder to drive my next point home.
"You aren't a bad pony, Silver, and I know you never have been. But I don't know what you've done because of this or if it's just weighing down on you, but you need to let Celestia know how you feel about her. Lift the burden. Living what will probably be my only life with this weight on my back is painful enough. Please, Silver... don't live two with yours."
This wasn't a conversation Silver Jubilee was expecting to have ever, much less tonight, and so she found herself trying to focus on anything else but me as she thought over my words. A few tears trickled down her cheeks, but she wasn't going to let them break out any further than that as she took a deep breath in. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally looked to me with those same pleading eyes and spoke.
"She won't feel the same way," she told me. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"No, she probably won't," I told her honestly. "But she'll finally know one thing, and you'll finally know another thing, and maybe then you can leave it behind you."
Twilight also told me that Silver wasn't much of a hugger, so I was surprised when she leaned into me and embraced me from across the chair. I let her stay there for as long as she needed, listening to the crickets and katydids sing out across the night to give some color to the silence. She stayed there for a minute or two, and though the contact wasn't the most pleasant at the moment with my wounds still healing, I certainly had no problem with giving her as long as she needed.
Eventually, she broke away from me, and she looked back to me with the same kind smile she'd given me when I walked in.
"Thank you," she told me. "For everything you've said tonight, but for your observance at the party, too. I think I've been needing to hear this." I couldn't help but let a wisp of smugness pass me by at that -- Sunset would be proud -- and I rose from my seat as I looked around the tower one more time.
"I better go before Twilight gets back. I think she's seen my face enough today." That drew a chuckle from Silver, and I turned to the door to head back to my quarters for some well-earned sleep. I stopped right as I was about to open it, though, because I remembered that, in all the sentimental reminiscence, there was one thing I'd entirely forgotten to tell her.
"Hey," I said. She had already reimmersed herself in her book, and so she looked up wildly at the call of her name.
"Happy birthday, Silver," I told her softly.