//------------------------------// // Pinkie Pie Takes Baldi's Basics // Story: Pinkie Pie's Multiverse Adventures // by Tidal Wave2 //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie Enters the classroom, Spike follows her in and closes the door.  “♪First day of school, la la la la♪.  Whoa, what class is this?” “I don’t know Pinkie.  Let’s ask that guy over there.”  Spike said as he pointed to a bald man in a green shirt. “Oh, hi!”  The man said when he spotted the two newcomers.  Pinkie and Spike then sat down at two desks. “Uh hey!  Who are you supposed to be?” “Welcome to Baldi’s Basics!” “YO WHAT’CHU TALKIN’ BOUT!?”  Pinkie said. “What?”  The man asked in confusion. “You’re making fun of Spike’s lack of hair and calling us basic!?  Ooh, you gonna get it!” “Uh Pinkie…” Spike said “No no no no.  MY name is Baldi.  And this class is called Baldi’s Basics.” “Oh, okay.  I’ll let it go this time, but only because you and Spike have the same hair style. (laughs)”  Spike and Baldi both grunt. “Ah, come on that was HAIR-larious! (giggles)” Baldi grunts again. “Okay, that’s enough.” “Hey, Professor Baldi Man!” “Just Baldi is fine!” “Hey!  Hey, Baldly Bean Boy!” “COLDER!  Definitely colder!” “Hey, Baldimore Anderson!” “HOLY MOLEY!  What is wrong with you?!” “I don’t know, maybe Pinkie just can’t get over the fact your a lot balder than me!  So bald, that I bet if you took a shower you’d get brainwashed.” Pinkie laughs at Spike’s joke. “Haha, very funny.”  Baldi says sarcastically. “You look like if Vin Diesal and Mr. Clean had a baby!”  Pinkie laughs, but Spike wasn’t all that amused. “Okay, that’s not nice, Pinkie!”  Baldi said. “I’m just saying, you really know you’re bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo. (giggles)” “THAT’S ENOUGH!”  Pinkie and Spike recoil at this.  “Pinkie, Spike, this is MY classroom, and you will listen to ME!” “Okay okay, jeez.” “Fine!” “Now it’s time for everybody’s favorite subject-” “Hairless Karaoke?”  Pinkie interrupted. “No!” “Cooking with Bowling Pins?” “Pinkie, those are not school subjects.”  Spike pointed out. “Polar Bear Pillow Fighting!” “NO!!!  Math! Everyone’s favorite subject is MATH!” “Said no one ever!”  Spike responded “Now, I’m gonna give both of you 3 questions.” “Can they be questions about cupcakes?  I’m REALLY good at questions about cupcakes!” “UGHHH!!!  Now, the questions will be on this handy-dandy Think Pad!”  Baldi said as he pulled out what looked like a green tablet.  “Here you go!” “Wow!  Never seen this kind of device.”   “Looks like a silly ‘Speak N’ Spell’!  (giggles)” “(Groans)  Now, problem 1. 7+9=” “WHAAAAT?  7 and 9 can’t be in a math problem together!” “What?  Why not?” “Because 7 ‘ate’ 9!”  Pinkie and Spike laugh, but Baldi just growls.  “Hmmm… carry the 5… move the decimal over 3 places… divide by a hamster ball…” “WHAT THE H-  Did you just say ‘divide by a hamster ball’?”  Spike asked in disbelief. “Yeah!  That’s the step that comes before multiplying it by Elmo’s nose, right?”  Pinkie laughs as Spike and Baldi both sigh. “Okay!  If you’re having trouble with the problem, think of it this way.  If you had 7 cupcakes, and I gave you 9 more cupcakes, how many cupcakes would you have?” “Honestly, I still wouldn’t have enough cupcakes.” “(Stutters)  No!” “I’d probably have to take Mario’s credit card and buy at least a bajillion more from Sugarcube Corner.” “Pinkie!  This isn’t a philosophical question about how many cupcakes are enough to make you happy!”  Spike said “Of course, if you gave me 9 cupcakes that had wish granting genies inside of them, that’d be a different story all-together.” “Pinkie, you’re getting off-track and-”  Baldi began but was interrupted. “Cuz then I’d wish for a cupcake cloning machine!  Then I’d never run out of cupcakes, like, ever!” “PINKIE! 7+9!”  Baldi yelled “Sheesh, okay!  16! The answer is 16!” “Fantastic!  You’re doing great!” “Hey-hey!  Thanks! Now, back to the cupca-” “PROBLEM 2!!!!  5-3=” “(groans) I’m bored of math!  Does this thing play Flappy Bird?” “NO!” “Hey, why hasn’t anybody made a game called ‘Flappy Spike’?  Now that would be fun!” Pinkie starts playing with Spikes wings. “Pinkie!!!”  Spike says in annoyance. “Okay, okay.  2!” “Good job!  You did great!” “Thanks!  I really love flapping!”  Pinkie said as she continued to play with Spike’s wings. “THAT’S ENOUGH FLAPPING!” “Ugh, thanks Baldi.”  Spike said “Now, you two, it’s time for problem 3!” “Pollen tree?” “Problem 3!” “Goblin knee?” “PROBLEM 3!!!” “You gotta pee?  Gross, dude! TMI! (Laughs)”  Spike groans. “AHHH!!  I’ve HAD IT with you!!!  HERE’S YOUR PROBLEM 3!!! (Static noises)” “Ummmm… I think your weird machine is broken.” “Oh, it’s not broken.  YOU have to answer it! Just like that!  And remember, I get angrier every problem you get wrong!”  Suddenly, Pinkie starts beating the Think-Pad on the desk. "Ẅork you stupid machine!  Make more sense!" "Hey!  STOP THAT!" "Nah, I'm gonna keep doing it.  AHHHHHHH!" "HEY!" "PLAY FLAPPY BIRD YOU STUPID THING!" "PINKIE STOP!  YOU´LL BREAK IT!" Baldi growls as he snatchs the Think-Pad away from Pinkie.  "Gimme that!" "Hey!  I was breaking that!" "Pinkie!" "I am DONE teaching math!!  Now it´s time to teach you a NEW lesson!  YOU! You are the most IRRITATING creature EVER!!  If being annoying was an olympic sport, you win!" "First Prize?"  Pinkie asked. "Yes!  You win first prize!  Now, time for that lesson!" "No!  First Prize!"  Spike yelled. "What?"  Suddenly, a square robot with a heart in the center charges into the room. "I see you!"  It says as it tackles Baldi to the wall.  Baldi yelped in pain. "Wow!  Baldi sure is a pushover."  Pinkie and Spike both laughed then sighed.  Suddenly, a little girl with a jump rope ran into the room. "LET´S PLAY!"  The kid said as she charged at Pinkie and Spike causing them to scream.