//------------------------------// // Falling Flat of Expectations // Story: Coming To Terms With Coming Out // by Featherflutter //------------------------------// He looked like the most nervous of us all. Practically shivering as all eyes looked at him. He was the weather director for Canterlot, if I remember correctly. He was already high strung in his introduction, Celestia knows how he will fare now.  He cleared his throat, probably hoping it would calm his nerves, “He-Hello, everypony-and griffon! And griffon,” He said, blurting out the second part.  Everypony said their hellos back to him.  “Well, h-here’s my situation. You see, I-I’m…” His voice caught in his throat. “I’m…” Once again, it flittered out before the rest of his sentence could come out. “I’m!...” “Feather?” Monte lightly set a hoof on Feather’s shoulder, making him jump in surprise. “Sorry. There’s no need to be scared, no pony here is going to hurt you or judge you. We promise.” Feather lightly nodded, his body still shaking. “I’m g-gay. I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.” He said, repeatedly, his voice getting faster and higher pitched each time he said it. He finally stopped saying it, his breath trembling. “It’s been extremely hard to hear myself say that. It all feels so surreal, still. I can b-barely think it without freezing up, mainly because it feels wrong.” Feather’s voice became less shaky and more rhythmic, probably with the adrenaline high coming down.  “I know, I know! It’s not ‘wrong’” He put his wings up in air quotes, “but it sure as sin doesn’t feel right. Ever since I was a foal, my parents wanted me to get a good job, marry a pretty mare, and give them grandfoals. All throughout my school and training to become a weather director, they would set me up with dates! M-Mare after mare, none I could even think of having an attraction to, because I was too busy with studying and I was too scared to ask a mare for a spare pencil, let alone k-k-keep a conversation on a date!” “It wasn’t until after I graduated that the set-ups weaned off and my parents accepted that I would get a marefriend when I wanted to...Except, I didn’t have any attraction to mares. I tried, really, I did. I tried just talking with a few at work and it went alright, but it never went anywhere, because whatever sign they threw at me just bounced off like I was a wall. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. It was like something was blocking me from seeing the opportunity.” “A few years down the line, the cycle repeats itself. I try to get into some relationship with a mare and it fails within a month, either for me not being interested in them or me being too awkward for them. I was very disappointed in myself, because I felt like I was letting my parents down. They had been so supportive of me when I told them I wanted to become a weather coordinator. They put me through school, they paid for all of my expenses. I didn’t need to work at all during my school career. I was getting more and more concerned that I wouldn’t be able to fulfil their request.”  “One day, a new pony came in, an actuary I believe. He was really sweet when he came in. He would always wear these bottom rimmed glasses and a bow tie. He had a great selection of bow ties, because I did not once see him wearing one that wasn’t fitting of him. I was the head so he was supposed to report to me within the week. He did so immediately. I got him oriented in the office and talked with him a bit afterwards. H-He was extremely dedicated to the job and seemed passionate enough. For some reason, there was something about him that I enjoyed. I liked talking with him, I liked looking at him, I liked being with him. As the weeks went on, I realized I spent a lot more time with him than with any other pony.” “It took a lot of time to realize that I had a sort of attraction to him. It felt weird, actually being attracted to somepony. Just being attracted to anyone was new, but for it to be a stallion, when I realized, it was soul crushing. I felt like I was getting a weight lifted off of my body only for a different, heavier weight to be thrown directly onto my chest. I didn’t know how to deal with it. On one hoof, I had found some-somepony that I actually like, on the other, it’s a stallion. I won’t be able to fulfil my parents dream. So, instead of disappointing them by not getting a marefriend and having foals, I would be disappointing them by being attracted to colts and not being able to have foals. It’s-It’s-It’s-It’s horrible! I-I-I am trying to be comfortable with it, but I can’t. Th-This tie feels like a noose!” Feather held up his tie, the rainbow pattern very clearly evident on it. “I don’t know how, but the pony, Silverwing’s his name by the way, he managed to convince me to start wearing this tie to help me make myself more comfortable with myself.” “I just, I don’t think I have the will to tell them. I don’t want to see their dreams shattered right before my eyes because of something that I am. I couldn’t look at them after that. I would be the disappointment of the family. I-I…” His composure started to degrade, “I can’t…” His breath became quicker paced, his eyes, dilated. “I..” He collapsed.  Over Easy caught his head, before it hit the table, thankfully. If anyone knows about head trauma, it would be me and I know it certainly wouldn’t help what he was going through. It took a few minutes before Feather came to, but when he did, it was like a bull in a china shop. He was muttering erratically. It took the two partners to finally calm him down after another five minutes. Something felt wrong in me while I watched, but it was hard not to.  Finally, after Feather was in a relatively stable condition, the pony in the leather vest, braeburn began to speak, “If I may comment on yer predicament there, Mr. Flatterfly. I see where y’all’re coming from, but ah think you might be overstressing what yer parents’ll think about you if you come out to them. At least to me, it sounds like yer parents care a mighty lot for ya. They might just wanna see you happy. Have you ever sat down with’m an’ asked about the possibility of you not getting a marefriend, not sayin that yer gay, per se, just that you are bachelor of sorts?” Braeburn asked the shaking pegasus. “N-no. I don’t really speak with them all that much these days. I can’t bring myself to talk with them.” Feather exclaimed, looking down and shaking. “Then, maybe you should. Just, ask. It might feel like the hardest thing to do, I recognize that, but with a question as vague as that, I’m sure y’all can get an answer that’ll communicate how they really feel. They really sound like they love you, and I would bet my bottom bit that no matter who you are and what you do, they will still care for you.” Feather thought for a minute, thinking of all the possibilities, probably. I know that’s what I would do. Finally, he piped up. “I-I could at least try. T-thank you, Braeburn.” He gave a big, albeit weak, smile to the yellow pony.  Braeburn nodded and tipped his hat.  “Well, It’s nice to see results so quickly. I really wasn’t expecting this club to be this successful in such a short amount of time. It really warms my heart. How about we take a break though, so Braeburn can prepare for his story of coming out. It looks like we are running low on snacks, so give Easy and I a few minutes to whip up some more for you! We’ll be back in a jiffy!” Monte announced. There was a lot to learn from that. Maybe my situation is similar, maybe I’m just blowing things out of proportion. Would I be able to allow myself to get as far as what Flatterfly is thinking of doing? I didn’t really have an answer at that point, but I really needed to use the restroom.